Archive of Our Own

“Get a room already!”

Something lightly hits the back of Gunwook’s head. He turns away from Matthew, scowling at the culprit.

“Hey, what the hell was that for?” he says, hurling the projectile—a crumpled up piece of notebook paper—back at Gyuvin. The other boy bats it down from the air.

“Seriously, guys, book a private study room if you’re gonna eyefuck the whole time. Please spare us from your pining!” He accentuates his little outburst with an exaggerated sigh, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and falling back into Ricky’s lap like he’s fainted. Ricky snorts before shoving his boyfriend’s head off. Gyuvin sits back up, dejected but with a sparkle of amusement still shining in his eyes.

Gunwook rolls his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. You literally just threw your face at your boyfriend’s dick and you’re saying we’re insufferable?”

Gyuvin just sticks his tongue out in response.

Gunwook scoffs, turning back to Matthew. The older boy is smiling from ear to ear.

Gunwook pokes his shoulder. “Hey, what’s so funny?”

Matthew shakes his head. “Nothing, you’re just cute when you bicker.”

Gyuvin’s whiny shout rattles throughout the study space. “Hanbin hyung, they’re doing it again!”

“Calm down drama queen,” Ricky says, using one hand to reach down and ruffle Gyuvin’s hair. “I happen to think they’re quite endearing.”

“Endearing?” Gyuvin repeats, eyes wide. “They’re gross!”

Gunwook throws a pencil at him. Matthew’s laugh rings in his ears, and he smiles.

They’re not together. Really, they’re not. It’s not Gunwook’s fault that all their friends seem to be convinced he and Matthew are dating, or at the very least sleeping together.

Sure, they’re touchy, but Matthew is touchy with everybody, and Gunwook…well how could he say no to him?

A few days later, after everyone’s Friday classes have finished, they gather in Ricky’s apartment. They’re usually here every other weekend or so anyway for a movie night, but tonight is special, since they’re celebrating the end of spring midterms. They’ve actually achieved the feat of having all of them there for once. It’s hard to get the whole group together. Jiwoong has a full-time job on the other side of the city, Hao is perpetually busy with his graduate schoolwork, and of course all the others are busy with classes, too.

Seven of them are there right now. They’re just missing—

“Look who I dragged in!”

Gyuvin appears, having made his way through the front door using Ricky’s passcode. Behind him, Yujin, his younger cousin, trails along.

“Yujinie!” Hao shouts, jumping up from his spot on the larger couch next to Hanbin and running over to the teen. “We haven’t seen you in months! How’s school? Have you been making the recipes Bin and Jiwoong hyung gave you?”

Yujin sighs while halfheartedly batting at Hao’s hand on his shoulder. “School is fine, and I’ve tried the easy ones. Thanks, hyung.”

Gunwook holds back a snort. Yujin can pretend all he wants that he’s annoyed by the way everyone dotes on him, but he always thanks them and entertains their affection.

Gunwook had known Yujin for years since he and Gyuvin have been best friends since middle school, but he became the unofficial baby of their little group once he told Gyuvin he had accepted admission into their university.

Gunwook is really happy to see him, both because he’s genuinely missed the kid, and because him being around means the older guys are less likely to imply things about his and Matthew’s relationship.

Not that they’re actually in a relationship or anything.

Since all nine of them are there, they have to adjust their usual seating arrangement. Usually Gunwook and Matthew squish themselves together on the loveseat by the big couch, but Matthew gets up immediately and waves Yujin over to take his seat. There’s not enough room for both him and Gunwook on the big couch, since it’s already occupied by the usual trio of Hao, Hanbin, and Taerae along with Jiwoong.

Ricky and Gyuvin are on the smaller sofa, but there’s only enough room for a third person, unless Matthew sits on Gunwook’s lap, which he’s certainly not opposed to, but he could never have the guts to actually ask him.

He turns to Matthew. “You can sit next to them, I’ll just chill on the floor.”

Matthew raises his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Gunwook,” Ricky interjects, “are you sure?”

Gunwook rolls his eyes while he lightly shoves Matthew onto the empty space on the couch before settling himself on the floor, back against Matthew’s knees. He’s rewarded with a hand carding softly through his hair, and he smiles with contentment as he leans his head back to rest against Matthew’s thighs.

They’re halfway through the third Final Destination movie when Yujin starts yawning, and Gyuvin begrudgingly gets up to drive him home. After they leave, Ricky stands up, stretching his arms above his head. “Alright, is anyone staying over tonight?”

Jiwoong raises his hand. “If it’s okay, I will. I don’t have to be at work until noon tomorrow so I can…” he casts a sidelong glance at Taerae. “I can stay for breakfast.”

“Knock yourself out,” Ricky yawns. “I’m gonna take a shower. Please don’t burn my apartment down while I’m gone.”

“No promises,” Hao singsongs. Ricky flips him off on his way to his bedroom.

With just the six of them left, Jiwoong turns to Matthew and Gunwook. In theory, they could move to where Ricky and Gyuvin have left the couch, or to the loveseat where Yujin was, but Gunwook is perfectly content on the floor between Matthew’s legs.

“So,” Jiwoong starts, “how have you two been?”

Gunwook raises his eyebrows. It’s an odd question. They had already gone through everyone’s life updates before they even started the first movie.

“Uhhhhh…school is dumb, customers are dumber…same thing I said six hours ago?”

Jiwoong smiles, his eyes crinkling up. “I mean with you know…you two.”

Gunwook feels his face beginning to flush. Here they go again.

Above him, Matthew giggles. “What, do you want the nitty gritty details of our nonstop fucking?”

“Matthew!” he hisses. This is not funny, because now the thought of getting to fuck Matthew has wormed its way into his brain, and he knows he won’t be able to get it out anytime soon. He groans inwardly. This is why their friends refuse to believe they aren’t together, because Matthew keeps egging them on. It’s not good for Gunwook’s mental health, or his libido.

“Yes!” Hao exclaims, leaning forward with his hands clasped together. “Please do tell.”

Gunwook groans out loud this time. “Guys, seriously, there’s nothing to tell.”

“Do you believe him?” Hao asks, turning to face Hanbin.

“Not a chance.”

Hao turns back to Gunwook, his lips curled upward in triumph.

Maybe sensing Gunwook’s turmoil, Matthew is the one to shift the focus from his own joke. “Fine,” he says, crossing his arms. “You all want to talk about nonstop fucking? Let’s talk about how you,” he points an accusatory finger towards Taerae, “are incapable of keeping a semi-respectable volume. Do you know how loud you have to be for me to hear you when my headphones are on full blast?” He shifts his glare towards Jiwoong. “Are you trying to exorcise his demons or something?”

Taerae’s ears burn red, while Jiwoong pinches his nose between his finger and thumb. Hanbin and Hao laugh so loud Gunwook is sure their lungs are about to explode.

He lets out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding when he feels Matthew’s hand rubbing his shoulder. He tips his head back to make eye contact with the older boy, smiling as Matthew winks at him.

Matthew drives Gunwook back to his and Gyuvin’s apartment from Ricky’s as usual, but the heavy silence between them is definitely not their usual.

Gunwook is about to say something, a joke, a question, anything to break this unnerving silence. But Matthew beats him to the punch in a big way.

“I’d be down for it, y’know.”

Gunwook freezes. What is he talking about? There’s no way he’s talking about…that, right?

“W-what are you talking about, hyung?” Gunwook holds his breath.

Matthew pauses for a moment, biting his lip while he clutches the steering wheel.

“I’d be down to like, fuck or whatever. If you’d be into it, I mean.”

Blood is roaring in Gunwook’s ears.

“What?”

“Well, they keep bugging us about it, anyway,” Matthew says, still looking straight ahead. “Might as well give them something to actually gossip about, right?”

Gunwook hasn’t been able to pick his jaw up off the floor since Matthew had said fuck.

“You’re…you can’t be serious, hyung?”

He sees Matthew’s adam’s apple wobble as he gulps. “That was stupid, just forget I said anything, fuck I’m sorry.”

Gunwook hesitates. He wants to say yes, fuck he wants to say yes so badly. His brain is screaming at him.

This is your chance, you idiot! Matthew is asking you to fuck him, and you’re not ripping his clothes off?

But at the same time, he knows he would feel guilty if he said yes. Matthew clearly just wants to hook up. Isn’t it unfair and selfish of him to take advantage of his hyung like this? Would Matthew still be offering if he knew about Gunwook’s feelings for him?

Fuck it.

“I’m down.”

It doesn’t come up again until Sunday, when they get together for their weekly joint gym session. They’re halfway through their workout, moving to the bench press. Gunwook has just started his first set when Matthew, spotting him from behind the bench, breaks the silence.

“So do you wanna set a date for…y’know?”

Gunwook damn near drops the bar on his chest.

Matthew continues. “Taerae is going with Jiwoong hyung to some fancy work conference next weekend, so my place will be empty from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.”

Gunwook pushes through his set, putting the bar back on the rack before sitting up, woozy. Matthew hands him a towel, and he starts wiping the sweat on his forehead. He stares straight ahead, because if he makes eye contact with Matthew, he might jump him and take him on the bench in front of all of the gymgoers.

“Are we seriously gonna do this, hyung?”

Matthew laughs softly. “Getting cold feet?”

Gunwook grits his teeth. “Nope, just wanna make sure you’ll be able to handle it.”

Matthew’s laugh is louder now. Gunwook bites his cheek so he doesn’t grin like a moron.

“So, Saturday then?”

Gunwook finally works up the nerve to face Matthew. “Sure, hyung. Saturday.”

They don’t talk about it all week. They study together with the group, they make fun of Hanbin and Gyuvin for being whipped as hell, they go out for their weekly dinner on Thursday. Gunwook plays video games with Gyuvin at their apartment just like always.

He considers telling Gyuvin. Gyuvin would tease him, but he wouldn’t judge. He would try his best to give Gunwook advice, even if it sucked.

But he doesn’t, because Gyuvin is the only one who knows about Gunwook’s feelings for Matthew, and he’s not ready for Gyuvin to go into some spiel about how he should just buck up and confess.

So he bottles it up. He laughs and jokes like normal, and he tries to ignore the way Matthew’s lingering touches have taken an…intense turn.

He touches Gunwook’s thigh instead of his knee. When he turns to Gunwook to whisper about how Ricky sucks at acting nonchalant when Gyuvin compliments him, his lips brush against the shell of Gunwook’s ear.

It’s maddening, driving him insane, and Matthew knows it. He smirks when he caresses Gunwook’s thigh and feels the muscle tensing, and when he feels Gunwook shudder at the sensation of his lips.

Gunwook can’t wait to ruin him.

On Friday, after the group wishes Jiwoong and Taerae good luck in Matthew’s living room, Matthew turns to him, standing on his tiptoes and basically whispering into the corner of Gunwook’s mouth.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night, Wookie.”

Gunwook nearly cums in his pants.

Gunwook can’t decide if he’s in heaven or hell.

Maybe it’s purgatory, actually—yeah, that’s the one.

Because Gunwook is simultaneously feeling blessed and cursed, all thanks to goddamn Seok Matthew.

Seok Matthew, who Gunwook runs to when he cries.

Seok Matthew, who took Gunwook under his wing when Gunwook was a timid freshman, nauseatingly nervous when Gyuvin dragged him to meet his friends.

Seok Matthew, who Gunwook is maybe a little bit in love with.

Seok Matthew, who is currently straddling Gunwook’s lap and kissing him like he is water, oxygen, and life itself.

It happened in an instant. One minute, Gunwook was standing outside the door of Matthew’s and Taerae’s apartment, working up the courage to knock while trying to stop his legs from shaking. The next, Matthew was dragging him inside, kicking his foot to slam the door, and shoving Gunwook on the couch. Gunwook hadn’t even registered what was happening until Matthew swung his leg over his thighs and sat down. He still doesn’t know how his shoes ended up on the floor.

Honestly, he still isn’t entirely convinced that this is real, not some wet dream like so many others he’d had since Matthew had made this stupid proposition.

Scratch that—it’s more like since the first time Matthew had ever wrapped his arms around Gunwook’s waist a year and a half ago.

Matthew pulls back from the kiss, taking Gunwook’s bottom lip between his teeth on his way. The grin on his face is somehow both wicked and adorable.

“Having fun?” he asks teasingly. Gunwook’s head is still fuzzy, and he doesn’t quite register what Matthew means until the older boy slowly circles his hips on Gunwook’s lap.

He’s already hard. Fuck.

Gunwook swallows in lieu of answering, then regrets it when Matthew giggles before he puts his hands on Gunwook’s burning cheeks and squishes them.

“You’re just too cute, Gunwookie.”

He wishes a void would open and swallow him whole.

Then again, he doesn’t, since that would mean giving up the opportunity to fuck Matthew.

So instead, he steels himself and stands up abruptly, scooping Matthew up by the bottom of his thighs. The resulting squeak from Matthew is a welcome boost to his mildly damaged ego.

Matthew attaches his mouth to Gunwook’s neck while he carries them down the hall, and Gunwook is fighting the jelly-like shaking of his legs.

He manages to get them to Matthew’s room with all limbs functioning, breathing a sigh of relief as he tosses Matthew on the bed. The older boy immediately scoots on his back so that he’s laying down with his head propped up against his pillows and headboard. Hair already mussed, cheeks dusted with light pink, and a teasing smirk on his face.

He doesn’t waste a moment when Gunwook climbs onto the bed, pulling him in by his collar into another bruising kiss. It’s wet, messy, and loud, even before Matthew starts releasing breathy moans.

Gunwook isn’t sure if he’ll be able to come out of this alive.

He brackets Matthew’s thighs with his own before tangling his fingers in his hair. He’s rewarded with the loudest moan yet, and it sends fire though Gunwook’s whole body.

Matthew starts bucking his hips up and somehow manages to move his hands down to Gunwook’s ass, shoving them closer together, making Gunwook gasp.

Then his hands creep under the back of Gunwook’s shirt, nails slightly dragging against the taut muscles, tickling him, before moving back to the bottom of the shirt and trying to tug it off. Gunwook sits up, putting his arms behind his head and tugging his shirt off in one smooth motion.

Thank god he didn’t hit a snag or wrench an arm. He can’t embarrass himself and screw up his chance to impress Matthew.

Okay, he knows he shouldn’t be thinking like that, should be focusing on treasuring this moment in case it never happens again, but his mind keeps trailing off…what if this is his chance? What if he can make sure this isn’t a one-time thing? What if…

What if he can make Matthew his, for real?

He blinks, trying to clear his brain. Obsessing over his year-long crush is just gonna distract him from what he really needs to be focusing on right now—fucking Matthew the best he’s ever been fucked.

He’s broken from his overthinking by Matthew’s voice, breathy and dripping with lust.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.”

Gunwook takes a split second to collect himself before responding, meeting Matthew’s gaze.

“You’re not so bad yourself, hyung.”

Matthew laughs, full-bodied and loud. “Can you hurry up and take this off already?” He lifts his arms, making grabby hands as he moves away from the headboard.

Gunwook’s smiling so hard his cheeks hurt as he reaches to pull off Matthew’s shirt, and the sight that greets him is nothing short of extraordinary—toned abs, muscular chest, the tattoo stretching across his ribs, pinks and browns sitting perfectly against his milky, smooth skin.

Matthew looks at him expectantly, and Gunwook realizes that he’s been staring while holding onto Matthew’s shirt. Flustered, he tosses the shirt as hard as he can towards the closet, leaving a thump! as it smacks into the wall.

Matthew’s laugh simultaneously heals his soul and makes him want to die.

Focus.

Gunwook responds to his blunder by surging down and latching his mouth onto Matthew’s neck, sucking hard on his skin and relishing in the needy noises Matthew makes in turn. Moving around his neck, the column of his throat, his collarbones. He tastes like salt with a little bit of soap and cologne. Gunwook drinks it in like wine, savoring the taste and the feel of Matthew’s skin between his teeth.

He's so zoned in he barely registers Matthew calling his name until he yanks Gunwook up and holds his head in place.

“Why are you taking so damn long?”

There’s no real heat behind his complaint, even with the accompanying eye roll.

“I’m just taking my time. You deserve it.”

Gunwook’s head gets filled with static.

Fuck. Fuck why did I say that? That was so fucking stupid and sappy and now he’s gonna know I’m in lov-

“Thank you.”

Gunwook looks up from where he had focused his sight on the red marks blossoming on Matthew’s neck. The older boy is looking at him with so much fondness, with the sweetest smile on his face. It makes Gunwook’s stomach flip.

“You deserve it too, Gunwookie,” he murmurs. “So let me do some of the work, too, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Gunwook breathes. “Okay.”

With that, Matthew flips them over. It startles Gunwook when he’s suddenly on his back, Matthew looming on top of him. The look in his eyes in dangerous. After the tender moment from before, Gunwook suddenly feels like prey, like Matthew wants to devour him.

“Fuck,” he whispers.

Another big giggle from Matthew.

Gunwook is so in love with him.

Matthew dives back in, going straight for Gunwook’s nipple with his teeth before Gunwook can react.

Holy shit.

He’s never had his nipples played with before. Sure, he’s done it to other people, but now he’s finally experiencing it for himself.

And it feels fucking good.

His groans are creaky, deep. But then Matthew bites, and Gunwook makes a squealing type of noise he doesn’t think he’s ever made in his life. He snaps his mouth shut.

“No, don’t be quiet. I wanna hear you.”

Matthew is looking up at him, resting his chin on Gunwook’s chest, letting his tongue peek out just slightly to lick lightly at Gunwook’s sternum.

Gunwook is about to answer, to say okay, but Matthew’s not done.

“I bet you’ll sound even cuter when I’m inside you.”

Woah. What?

It takes a moment to float around in Gunwook’s brain. And then…

Oh.

Oh.

Matthew wants to fuck him.

“Don’t look so surprised,” Matthew says, stroking Gunwook’s cheek. Then he stops. “Wait,” he says, lifting his head up, “did you think—did you want to top me?”

“Um,” Gunwook mumbles, “it’s just I—I mean I haven’t done that before.” He cringes at his stuttering.

“Really?” Matthew looks intrigued now, shifting back so he’s sitting on Gunwook’s thighs, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “You’ve never been fucked before?”

Gunwook’s mouth feels dry, like he can’t speak, so instead he just shakes his head, shifting his gaze down to Matthew’s abs so he doesn’t have to keep eye contact with him. His face is burning, and he’s sure his cheeks are bright red at this point.

“So you’re a virgin?”

Gunwook’s eyes snap back up to Matthew. He’s crossed his arms, and he’s smirking. Not the playful, teasing, lusty one from before. He looks downright evil.

“Wha—no I’m not!” Gunwook splutters. A virgin? He’s not going to expose his body count to Matthew right this second, but he is definitely no virgin.

“But you’ve never been fucked.”

Gunwook can’t really muster up a response to that. It isn’t really true, and yet the idea of Matthew being his first, taking his virginity, makes his dick twitch in his pants.

He gulps again as Matthew reaches out a hand to tilt his chin upward.

“Would you let me be your first, Gunwookie?”

“Yes.”

It comes out before Gunwook can even take a moment to consider. But it’s not rash, it’s not impulsive. He wants Matthew to be his first, so much that he doesn’t even need to question it before agreeing.

But that doesn’t mean he’s not nervous.

“Will it hurt?”

Matthew’s previously elated expression softens, and he strokes Gunwook’s jawline with his thumb.

“At first, probably. Gunwook, if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to.” His voice is devastatingly sweet. “You can be on top, or we can just forget this happ-“

“I want to,” Gunwook interrupts. “Just…be gentle, okay?”

He’s finally able to hold Matthew’s gaze for more than a few seconds.

“I trust you, hyung.”

Matthew leans down and kisses him. Sweet, gentle.

Loving.

Gunwook’s heart nearly pounds out of his chest.

“Okay,” Matthew whispers. “I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Gunwook moves his hands, massaging Matthew’s waist, and roaming over his torso again.

“Can I take these off?” Matthew murmurs, moving his hands to Gunwook’s belt, fiddling with the buckle.

Now, with Matthew’s hands so close to his dick, it starts to feel real, and it makes Gunwook nervous again, too much to speak. Instead he just nods.

Once Gunwook gives him the affirmative, Matthew makes quick work of Gunwook’s belt, nimble fingers easily pulling it out of the buckle and tugging it through the loops, then quickly moving to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

Gunwook sucks in a breath when Matthew squeezes his hips, signaling him to lift them so he can pull down his jeans down. Gunwook prepares himself, but Matthew yet again takes him by surprise by taking down his pants and boxers in one go, and suddenly his dick, previously painfully constrained by his layers, is exposed. He moans embarrassingly loud as it springs up and slaps against his stomach.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Matthew exclaims. “I figured you were packing, but damn.”

Gunwook groans, covering his eyes with his hands.

“Hey don’t be shy, it’s a compliment!”

Gunwook peeks through his fingers, seeing Matthew struggling to take his pants the rest of the way. He helps as much as he can by kicking, and finally the jeans come off, leaving him naked except for his socks.

“So how homo do you want this to be?” Matthew asks, wiggling his eyebrows. “Socks on or off?”

A laugh bubbles out of Gunwook, and he covers his eyes again from the absurdity of it all.

“Can you look at me please, baby?”

Baby.

It’s not the first time Matthew has called him that, but it is the first time he’s done it without that teasing, friendly tone.

 Gunwook obliges and moves his hands to his chest before wiggling his toes, a silent ask for Matthew to take his socks off, which he does quickly.

Now Gunwook is completely naked, laid bare in front of the guy he’s in love with, the guy that’s about to pop his hypothetical cherry.

Matthew creeps his way back up Gunwook’s legs, settling in between his thighs so his head is level with Gunwook’s cock. He leans forward, just a little bit, so his breath as he speaks ghosts over his shaft.

“Is this okay?”

Fuck yes, it is. Matthew looks absolutely divine, bangs starting to fall in his face, eyes peering up at Gunwook like a little doll.

“Please.”

Matthew wastes no time, immediately licking a stripe from Gunwook’s base all the way up, ending with a soft kiss to his tip. It makes Gunwook shudder, and Matthew has barely even touched him.

Now Matthew really goes to work, taking Gunwook into his mouth until he’s about halfway down, letting saliva drip from his mouth down Gunwook’s dick.

The urge to buck into the wet warmth of his mouth is nearly unbearable, but Gunwook forces himself to hold back, because Matthew is already clearly struggling with his length. He pulls off with a pop, gasping with tears pooling in his eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” he says, voice already hoarse from the effort of sucking Gunwook off.

“Sorry,” Gunwook mumbles, trying not to let the fact that Matthew already has him shaking show in his voice.

“You’re not slick, you know,” Matthew says, smirking as he starts to jerk Gunwook’s cock. “Seems like you’re already close just from this.”

Then he sits back on his heels, and fixes Gunwook with an intense stare as he slowly pushes on his legs until Gunwook’s knees are bent. Gunwook tips his head back, inhaling and exhaling slowly before looking back at Matthew.

“Can you hand me the lube in the nightstand? First drawer.”

Fuck, this is really happening. Seok Matthew is about to finger his ass and then fuck his ass. This might be the craziest day of Gunwook’s entire life.

He slowly reaches for the drawer, his legs knocking against Matthew’s as he twists his upper body towards the nightstand. He spots the lube along with a box of condoms, and grabs both, holding them up as he turns back to face Matthew.

“Might as well grab it all now, right?” he asks while shaking the box and bottle, trying to match the smooth humor Matthew has been supplying since he stumbled through the door.

“You’re a goofball, Park Gunwook.”

Gunwook has to bite his lip before he says something stupid like and you’re the love of my life or I need you to put your fingers in me right this second before I go insane.

It’s surprising how much he’s looking forward to getting fucked. Finally, even being faced with the sight of Matthew squirting lube onto his fingers and rubbing them together to warm it up, his excitement is overtaking his nerves.

Matthew throws the bottle to the foot end of the bed along with the condoms before turning back to look at Gunwook.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asks, lifting his non-lubed up hand to gently caress Gunwook’s thigh. It makes Gunwook’s heart swell. Matthew is so caring, so sweet. Then he notices something.

“Why do you still have clothes on?”

Matthew grins. “Oh don’t worry, they’ll come off right after I open you up.”

Open him up.

Matthew is biting his lip. “Gunwookie,” he murmurs, “do you want this? For real?”

Gunwook swallows the spit pooling in his mouth, locking eyes with Matthew. “Yes hyung. I want you. I want…I want you to be the first one I do this with.”

“Fuck, baby,” Matthew groans. It’s the first time he’s lost his composure since they made it to the bedroom. He scoots closer on his knees, resting one hand on Gunwook’s hip while the other moves closer and closer to his hole.

He stretches himself awkwardly over Gunwook to kiss him.

“Are you ready, Gunwookie?”

Now he’s nervous, but he nods his head.

“I trust you.”

Matthew grins before giving him one final kiss, then he leans back. His face turns serious.

“Let me know if you wanna stop.”

“I will,” Gunwook says shakily.

And finally he feels Matthew’s fingers brush over his hole. He jerks back on instinct, but Matthew shushes him softly before pressing his fingertips against his hole again. Not entering him yet, just rubbing.

“Is it okay if I put one in now?”

Gunwook is back to nodding, words escaping him once again.

He draws in a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut as the tip of Matthew’s middle finger finally breaches his entrance.

It’s weird. Not good, not bad just…weird.

It probably helps that it’s literally just the very tip of his finger. Not moving, just resting there, letting him get used to the feeling.

“Doing okay, baby?”

Gunwook forces his eyes open. Matthew is watching him intently, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I’m okay.” Gunwook swallows nervously. “You can, um, you can go deeper.”

And Matthew does. He moves his finger slowly, until he’s down to his first knuckle. A slight sting, barely there, starts to bloom, and Gunwook winces.

“Do you need me to--“

“No, no,” Gunwook interrupts. He takes another deep breath. “It’s okay, it’s just different…keep going, please.” The last word comes out shaky.

“Okay,” Matthew whispers. “You’re doing great, baby. Doing so well for your hyung even though it’s your first time.”

Gunwook’s breath catches in his throat. If Matthew keeps saying shit like that, he’ll cum before he even gets to see his dick.

His breath turns into a high-pitched whimper when Matthew sinks his entire middle finger in. It hurts, but it hurts good.

“Fuck Matthew fuck fuck,” he gasps, clutching at Matthew’s arms. He throws his head back, letting more shaky gasps escape as Matthew starts to move his finger. He’s still going at a snail’s pace, slowly maneuvering in and out, curling just slightly. He leans down to press a delicate kiss to Gunwook’s hip bone.

“Do you think you can take another, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart. The word makes Gunwook tense, makes him dig his nails into Matthew's forearms.

“Please hyungie, please, I want another.”

Matthew exhales slowly. “You sure you haven’t done this before? You seem pretty eager to have your hole filled.”

Another moan. Then Matthew’s pointer finger prods at his entrance before sliding in alongside his middle.

“God you’re so fucking tight, baby,” he groans. “Can’t believe I’m the first one that gets to see you like this, gets to touch you like this.”

He leans forward to whisper to Gunwook. “And nobody else is ever gonna see you like this, right?”

The words pierce Gunwook’s heart like daggers. The way Matthew is talking, he can almost pretend that this is real. That he’s making love to his boyfriend instead of hooking up with one of his best friends. That Matthew shares his feelings.

He has to swallow down a confession, a declaration of his undying love, and replaces it by simply saying, “only you, hyungie.”

That seems to satisfy Matthew, who exhales with a soft fuck before he slowly spreads his fingers apart.

The pain is worse now, but Gunwook clenches his jaw and bears it, because it also feels good, having Matthew fill him up.

Then Matthew curls his fingers more aggressively, and suddenly Gunwook is seeing stars. His back arches off the bed, and he bucks his hips, chasing the indescribable feeling of pleasure coursing through his veins.

“Fuck Matthew,” he cries out, “right there!” His last word ends with a broken moan as Matthew jabs his sweet spot again, laughing.

Gunwook is so far gone he barely feels it when Matthew adds his ring finger, scissoring him open while abusing his prostate, all his fingers now moving at a brutal pace, bottoming out at his last knuckle each time.

“Fuck me hyung, please, I’m ready,” Gunwook gasps. “Need you so bad.”

“Okay, baby. Lemme just—”

He leans back, shimmying out of his sweatpants, but he stumbles a bit and ends up falling backwards on his ass. Gunwook can’t resist giggling at him. Matthew huffs, grabbing the lube and the condom box from the end of the bed and shuffling back up to Gunwook, casting him a warning glare.

“You can laugh now, but you won’t be laughing when I’m fucking you so hard you can’t speak.” That shuts Gunwook up.

Matthew pulls a condom from the box before tossing it on the nightstand, then uncaps the bottle with one hand while holding the condom with his other and ripping it open with his teeth, spitting out the torn piece of the wrapper and then pulling the condom out and flicking the rest of it away. Fuck, that’s hot. Gunwook can’t resist snaking one of his hands down to his cock, desperate for some relief now that he doesn’t have Matthew’s fingers inside him.

Matthew narrows his eyes. “Stop that,” he snaps, smacking Gunwook’s thigh. “No touching. Nobody touches you except for me.”

Holy fucking shit.

Gunwook immediately takes his hand off his dick, settling just below his belly button instead. He can’t disappoint Matthew; he needs to be good.

He’s never like this. He loves dirty talking, loves whispering how he’s going to destroy his lovers before he fucks them. Now it’s all being turned around on him, and it’s sort of fucking him up.

With nothing left to do, Gunwook stares, mouth watering, as Matthew rolls the condom down his length and then jerks himself off lightly with his lubed up hand, which he then wipes haphazardly on the sheets.

Matthew bites his lip as he pushes Gunwook’s knees back again. Gunwook wants to snap his thighs shut, but he’s pretty sure that will upset Matthew, and maybe Matthew wouldn’t fuck him. The thought makes him whimper.

Matthew scoots forward on his knees just a little bit, so the tip of his cock is just barely making contact with Gunwook’s hole, which he clenches on instinct.

Matthew has a hand on his own dick again, stroking lazily while he stares at Gunwook, eyes dripping with lust.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?”

Gunwook nods desperately. He should be embarrassed, really, but right now he’s too focused on getting fucked.

“Fuck me hyungie,” he begs. He blinks his eyes rapidly. “Make me yours.”

The look in Matthew’s eyes is lethal.

He doesn’t waste any more time, using one hand to draw circles on Gunwook’s knee with his thumb while his other hand guides his cock so the tip is pushing harder against Gunwook’s rim.

Gunwook lets out a whimper as Matthew finally enters him. It’s just the tip, but Gunwook feels like he’s being split open. Matthew had fucked him open with his fingers for god knows how long, but it doesn’t compare to his cock. It’s filling him up so much better.

“Doing okay, sweetheart?” Matthew’s voice sounds strained, like he’s holding back.

“Hurts, hyungie,” Gunwook whines.

Matthew reaches one hand out to cradle Gunwook’s cheek, drawing his thumb down his lower lip. “I know, baby. It’ll feel good soon, I promise.” He removes his hand from Gunwook’s face and runs it down his arm until he picks up his hand. He brings it up to his lips and gives the back a soft kiss, keeping his eyes locked with Gunwook’s the entire time.

All of the tension in Gunwook’s body melts away. Matthew must feel his muscles relaxing, because he pushes in deeper, until his hips are flush with Gunwook’s ass. Gunwook clutches Matthew’s hand with both of his, squeezing as he feels the pressure building up inside of him.

All he can see, feel, think is Matthew, Matthew, Matthew.

Surrounding him, holding him, filling him, his smell invading Gunwook’s senses.

“So fucking tight,” Matthew spits through clenched teeth. “I guess you really are a virgin.”

“Move, move hyung, please,” Gunwook gasps. “Want you fuck me hard, now.”

And Matthew moves. First, he gently takes Gunwook’s hands and moves them to his shoulders. Then, he moves his own hands to Gunwook’s hips. And then finally, finally he moves his hips, drawing out slowly until it’s only his tip.

Then he slams his hips back against Gunwook.

It knocks the breath out of him, escaping in the form of a whiny shriek.

“Been fucking you for less than a minute and you’re already crying for it like a fucking whore.”

The words ignite a fire under Gunwook’s skin, and he digs his fingers into Matthew’s shoulders, wraps his legs around Matthew’s back, forcing him closer until their noses are almost touching.

“I can take it,” he says, eyes flicking between Matthew’s eyes and lips. “I don’t care if it’s my first time.”

Matthew groans. “You have no idea what you do to me, how long I’ve been thinking about having you like this.”

Gunwook doesn’t want to think about what Matthew means by how long, so he yanks him down for a kiss instead. It’s less of a kiss and more like their teeth clashing together while they cover each other’s lips in saliva, but it still feels damn good.

Matthew pulls back, away from the kiss and almost out of Gunwook, and then slams into him again. This time, he doesn’t pause, just starts pounding into Gunwook wildly at a brutal pace.

Gunwook releases small, high-pitched staccato cries. Matthew is fucking him so good, holding him so tightly, his fingers probably forming bruises from how hard he’s gripping onto Gunwook’s hips.

Matthew isn’t faring much better. Sweat is dripping down his temples, and his face is scrunched up with pleasure, lips parted as shaky groans escape him. He looks absolutely gorgeous.

Gunwook lifts his hips, desperately trying to get Matthew deeper inside, to get him closer to his sweet spot. Right now, he’s just barely brushing past it, sending little sparks up Gunwook’s spine.

He needs more.

Matthew shudders as Gunwook clenches around him. He shifts his hips, just a little bit, before he resumes his frantic thrusts.

Gunwook screams. He has never known this type of pleasure, not this type that makes it feel like his entire body is about to combust and has his vision going blurry. Matthew’s face is fuzzy, but it clears when he blinks. Matthew is laughing now, punctuated with breathy grunts.

His vision going blurry wasn’t from some sciencey nerve-related thing.

He’s crying.

Matthew is fucking him so good he’s crying, and Matthew was blurry because he couldn’t see through his fucking tears.

His dwelling is broken by Matthew’s voice. “You’re doing so good. Look here.”

He places his hand on Gunwook’s lower belly, and Gunwook lets his eyes follow. He draws in a sharp breath. He can see a bump moving—the print of Matthew’s cock inside of him. He also sees his own dick, flushed and angry, bouncing up and down with the rhythm of Matthew’s thrusts, a string of precum leaking from his slit connecting to his abdomen.

More hot tears run down his face.

“So fucking pretty, Wookie,” Matthew says, running his hand over the bulge in Gunwook’s stomach. “You’re such a good boy, so good for me. Maybe I’ll even let you ride my cock next time.”

Next time.

Nobody touches you except for me.

You have no idea…how long I’ve been thinking about having you like this.

Nobody else is ever gonna see you like this.

Is Gunwook going crazy? Is he making things up? Is his mind playing some weird auditory tricks on him?

Because right now, it sounds like Matthew isn’t planning on this being a simple hookup.

But that can’t be true…right?

These words, all these things Matthew is saying, they make the knot of pleasure in his core tighter, burning him up from the inside. He throws his head back, moaning in pleasure from the combination of Matthew’s words and his dick hitting his prostate over and over.

His vision is starting to blur again, his eyes stinging and burning and wet with tears.

“Matthew I—” He interrupts himself with a choked hiccup. “I’m close.”

“Not yet, baby,” he murmurs. “You can hold it for hyung, yeah?”

He can’t. He definitely can’t, not with the way flames are bubbling in his belly and all of his nerves are burning red-hot.

“No, hyung, no I can’t it’s too--“

Matthew grips his jaw, forcing Gunwook to look him in the eye as best he can through his tears.

“Listen to me. Yes, you can.”

He leans in closer.

“I know you can, because you’re a good boy and you listen to your hyung so well. So you’ll listen to me again, right? You’ll wait until hyung tells you you can cum?”

Gunwook swallows a whine. “O-okay, I’ll try.” He pauses to sniffle, not wanting to let snot leak out of his nose. “I’ll be good, hyung.”

Matthew gives him that sweet smile again, not at all aligned with the way he’s fucking into Gunwook. “Good boy,” he murmurs.

His praise washes over Gunwook, and he closes his eyes.

I can be good. Matthew wants me to be good. I will be good, I need to be good for Matthew.

He can do this.

His resolve immediately shatters when Matthew pushes his legs back so his knees are nearly touching his chest, the new angle allowing him to hit Gunwook’s sweet spot even harder.

The burn in his stomach becomes overwhelming, his blood is so hot it feels like magma beneath his skin, and he’s seeing white spots at the edge of his vision. He’s about to cum, and amidst all the pleasure, there’s a spike of fear because he doesn’t want to disappoint Matthew.

“Fuck hyung I can’t hold it anymore, fuck I’m—”

His orgasm hits him like a tidal wave, and it’s the best he’s ever had. He’s not sure if it’s because this is so new or if it’s because he’s with Matthew. Either way, his entire body is tingling and shaking and his muscles are tightening and burning.

Through his blurred vision, he registers his cum settling into his belly button and the crevices of his abs. His cock is laying down limp.

Fuck, Matthew made him cum without even touching him.

He’s brought back to reality by Matthew’s voice, head still a little fuzzy. There’s ringing in his ears, too.

“Gunwook. Look at me, now.”

Gunwook has already disobeyed and upset Matthew, so he forces his eyes open to look at him.

His hips have slowed, but they haven’t stopped, and Gunwook watches as he continues to grind into him. He feels more tears springing up.

“I’m sorry!” he cries out. “’M sorry hyung, I tried, I tried really hard but—”

“Shh,” Matthew whispers, running one hand up Gunwook’s heaving chest until it rests at the curve of his neck and shoulder. “It’s okay, baby, I’m not mad.”

Gunwook sniffles as he looks up at him. “You’re not?”

“Of course not,” Matthew coos. “It’s your first time, remember?”

His first time. As the aftershocks of his orgasm fade, it really hits Gunwook. He just had his ass fucked for the first time by one of his best friends, who he is in love with.

Matthew brings one hand down to pull his dick out, but Gunwook tightens his legs around his shoulders, refusing to let him.

“No, hyungie, I wanna make you feel good.” He musters up the courage to bite his lip and look up at Matthew again through his tears. “Want you to cum inside me, make me yours.”

“Fuck.”

Matthew jerks his hips forward again, and Gunwook cries out from the overstimulation.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, Park Gunwook, you know that?”

Gunwook smiles up at him, carefully moving his hips to coax Matthew in deeper. “I can take it, hyung. I did before, didn’t I?”

Matthew moves to run his thumb across Gunwook’s cheek. “You did, and you were so good for me.”

With that, he starts moving his hips again, not as harsh as before and lowering Gunwook’s legs a bit so he’s not directly pounding into his prostate. His eyebrows are furrowed. Now that he’s not focusing on Gunwook, he gives in to his own pleasure, written all over his face, moaning much louder than he has been all night as he chases his climax.

But even while he works for his own release, he still cared enough to adjust his speed and angle so Gunwook wouldn’t be in pain.

Gunwook might cry again.

He reaches up to pull Matthew down again, clutching his shoulders and letting out breathy gasps as they look into each other’s eyes. It’s so sweet and intimate and romantic that Gunwook is struggling to breathe again.

“Fill me up, hyung,” he murmurs. It’s not exactly possible, considering the condom, but it works on Matthew nonetheless, judging by the way his hips start to stutter and his grunts turn into gasps. He looks into Gunwook’s teary eyes the whole time, up until his hips give a final uncontrolled jerk and he has to shut his eyes in pleasure as he rides out his high.

His hips go still. No noises except their panting. The stench of sweat and sex permeates the air.

After taking a moment to catch his breath, Matthew pulls out slowly, and Gunwook winces as his hole goes from being completely filled to hopelessly empty.

He might be addicted to this already.

He supposes Matthew ties off the condom and throws it somewhere. He’s too busy staring at the ceiling, processing what’s just happened.

He and Matthew had sex.

Matthew was his first (sort of).

Matthew was saying those… those things, that made Gunwook think he had the same feelings.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, only to open them again in an instant when he feels the mattress dip next to him. Matthew is there, flushed, sweating, hair a mess. And he’s smiling, a smile Gunwook has never seen before. He’d like to think it’s one that’s only for him.

Matthew reaches a hand out to move Gunwook’s sweaty bangs from his forehead. “You okay, baby?”

He’s still calling Gunwook baby.

He subtly shifts his head away from Matthew’s hand. No point in delaying the inevitable silent rejection.

“I’m okay,” he starts, and then he tries to sit up, and his lower back sends a sharp sting up his spine.

“Fuck,” he mutters as he flops back down on the bed.

“Let me clean you up.” Gunwook turns to where Matthew is grabbing a tissue from the box on his nightstand. Usually he would make some sort of joke, a quip about why Matthew conveniently has a whole box of tissues next to his bed, but he doesn’t have the heart to do it now.

Because it happened, and now it’s over, and he and Matthew will go back to being just friends.

His eyes are stinging again. He wills himself not to cry, but he can’t help it. A tear falls out of his left eye.

“Gunwookie? What’s wrong?”

Matthew appears in his field of vision, gently wiping the cum off of his stomach.

“Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry—”

Gunwook cuts him off. “You were saying things.”

He forces himself to make eye contact with Matthew, who looks taken off guard. “Oh, did you not like the whole dirty talk-virgin-good boy thing?”

“No,” Gunwook says quietly, “that’s not what I mean, hyung.”

Matthew throws the tissue aside and clasps one of Gunwook’s hands in his. “Then what do you mean?”

Well, this is it. This is the moment where Gunwook spills his feelings, and he has to hope Matthew will forgive him for using him to fulfill his own fantasies. Above all, he just doesn’t want Matthew to hate him.

He swallows nervously. “The stuff…about thinking of doing this for a while, of nobody else touching me, of a next time it just…” He slides his eyes over to Matthew, who is still holding his hand while listening intently, watching him.

“I want more than this. I want you, and I was selfish and, fuck, I used you when all you wanted was to hook up. I’m sorry, hyung. Please don’t hate me.”

He’s full on crying now, unable to stop the tears from coming. He looks down, not wanting Matthew to see how upset and pathetic he is.

“Gunwookie,” Matthew says softly, “would you look at me, please?”

He does. He lifts his eyes, and even though Matthew’s eyes are serious, his smile is sweet.

“Do you really think I just wanted this to be a hookup?”

Gunwook just stares at him, trying to make sense of it all.

“Do you think I would risk our friendship just for a quick fuck?”

Hope starts to flicker in Gunwook’s chest before he can squash it down. He has to swallow again. “What are you saying, hyung?”

Matthew swings a leg over him, and now they’re back to where they were when this first started.

“I’m saying,” he says quietly, while grasping Gunwook’s face in his hands, “that I like you, Gunwook. I want to be your boyfriend, in fact, if you’re down for that.”

His mind flashes back to that conversation in Matthew’s car, and he can tell Matthew is thinking about it too based on his devilish grin.

Gunwook laughs, loud and happy and grateful, so grateful that his greatest fears hadn’t come true.

“I’m down, hyung. I’ve been down for that since I met you.”

Matthew leans in and kisses him slowly, chastely.

“Good,” he whispers, “because I’m not gonna let you get from me that easily.”

He sits back on Gunwook’s thighs. “And by the way, I was one-hundred percent serious. Nobody else gets to touch you, nobody else gets to see you naked, and I will die if you don’t ride me within the next two weeks.”

Gunwook just laughs and pulls him into another kiss, one where they’re both smiling and laughing and fully, undoubtedly content.

Matthew drives him back to his apartment the next morning. They hold hands the entire ride there, and Matthew kisses him before he opens the door to get out.

He’s still giddy when he walks in the door, but he has to move carefully to avoid limping. His ass and lower back are still sore, plus his thighs are exhausted from the positions Matthew had put him into.

He delicately sits on the couch next to Gyuvin, who’s scrolling on his phone while eating chips. “How was Matthew’s?” he asks.

Gunwook hesitates for a second. “Good,” he says coolly. “We just watched a movie and stuff.” It’s not a lie. They had watched a movie, after they made out and showered and then made out again.

Gyuvin hums in acknowledgement, and Gunwook is sure he’s gotten away with it.

And then—

“Hey what did you want to do for din—what the fuck?” Gyuvin has turned towards him and his eyes are fixated on the love bites adorning Gunwook’s neck. Shit.

“Uhhhhh…”

Gunwook desperately tries to think of a way out of this, but there isn’t one, especially since he had mentioned that they had stayed in, so he couldn’t use a drunken hookup at the bar as an excuse.

“Did you guys finally fuck?”

Gunwook rolls his eyes. Of course that’s how Gyuvin approaches this.

Oh well. It’s gonna come out soon anyways.

“Yes, we fucked.”

Gyuvin’s eyes go wide with astonishment, and he lets out a noise that’s somewhere between a squeal and a crow cawing. “Fucking finally!”

Despite himself, Gunwook smiles. Gyuvin has been by his side for this entire saga.

“And um, we’re dating now, so…” Gunwook awkwardly scratches the back of his head.

“Fuck yeah!” Gyuvin shouts. He barrels into Gunwook’s side, and Gunwook cringes in pain and grabs at his ass before he can think about it.

“Shit sorry I…wait a minute. Why is your back so sore? Tough workout?”

Gunwook just stares into the abyss and waits for it to click.

“Holy fucking shit, he fucked you? You let another man put his dick up your ass? This is insane!”

Gunwook throws a pillow at Gyuvin.

“Shut up loser. I don’t kiss and tell.”

Gyuvin sticks out his tongue, and all Gunwook can do is smile.

His phone buzzes. It’s a text from Matthew. His boyfriend.

Taerae just got back, and he gave me the full interrogation.

I think we’re in for a lot of shit tomorrow.

Gunwook clutches his phone to his chest just for a moment before he responds.

                    Well, we’ve finally given them something to talk about, haven’t we?