Chapter Text
33 Years ago
“I hate meeting like this.” Carl coughed. His shadow cast by the streetlight spiked with cigarette butts.
“I know. I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” Tony found himself searching for his own pack of cigarettes amongst the elaborate layers and rags of his latest undercover persona. Carl watched him struggle, took a final puff of his freshly lit cig and offered it to him. “Thanks.” The slow drag put Tony back on track. “I need you to find out if Christine is in any danger.”
“Your ex? What are you talking about?” Tony could have told Carl he was being knighted by the President and he would have been less confused.
Tony scrubbed at his face to hold back what appeared to be an angry yell before it escaped him. “Some green FBI agent tried to pull off a poorly organized sting attempt on Loverboy. She was there for god knows what reason and Mr. Schiavelli was very interested in her. Or he was interested in Cookie, her brilliant fake name. Nothing should come of it but you know how he can get when it comes to his lady friends.” Tony looked like he’d aged as much as his outfit during the course of explaining the situation.
Carl didn’t have first hand knowledge but he’d heard plenty of stories about Loverboy’s possessiveness over the years. “Yeah.” Short and sweet was the best he could do to not add to Tony’s distress.
“You know anybody over there?”
“I have someone who can tell me what you need to know.” Carl stared at Tony and gave him the slightest nod to convey that he would not be answering further questions. From somewhere underneath all the fabric Tony produced the handful of bills that totaled a long ago agreed to fee for this kind of information. Carl pushed it back towards him. “She's family Tony.”
“Take it. I need to know if she and Charlie are OK.”
“I’ll find out ASAP. I’m sure it’s fine. They have much bigger problems over there.”
“I’m counting on that. Loverboy is not a man who forgets easily though.”
“I’ll send you word by Wednesday.”
“OK.” Tony ground out his cigarette. “How’s it going with what’s his name?” It sounded like the question pained him.
“Vincent.” Carl managed a forced smile that Tony missed with plenty on his mind. At least he made an effort. He was one of the few that did. And they stayed in touch, admittedly it was usually in empty parking lots in not so nice parts of the city but it was more than he had to do. Tony was a Dad. They both had jobs. And he was, how did his guidance counselor say it, a glass half full kinda fella. “Great. He’s great. We’re great.” Vincent had left without a word the day after Thanksgiving. Mother’s Day was right around the corner.
“Good. Great.” Tony looked him over with the meaningless words between them. He turned away to head back to the far corner of the parking lot where a patrol car would pick him up for vagrancy shortly to get him back to his day to day beat. “You be careful. You’ve got a lot on your plate.”
“I will. Tell Ma I love her.” Carl said it without a thought. He did love her. Even mobsters loved their mothers. She had made it clear at Christmas that it was a one way street however. Tony raised his hand to wave. Carl was not really sure what that meant. Would he deliver the message? Was he too far away to hear? Nah, he heard.
The Christening was the perfect excuse to see Mary Theresa. He could get the information he needed and excuse himself to avoid the painful socialising that was unfortunately paired with all the food. He could put together a plate to take with him. All anyone did at the end of one of these get togethers was try to pawn food off on everyone on their way out the door.
Mary Theresa ran to him with open arms once she left the huge wooden doors of the church.
“Carlo! It has been too long. Why haven’t I seen your handsome face more often.”
“Mary Theresa, somehow even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.” They hugged and giggled. It had been a few months since they had been in the same zip code. He kissed her cheek.
“That creep Vinny met with an unfortunate end yet?” she whispered low, still holding onto him.
“No. And I don’t want him to.”
“You’re too kind Carlo. Say the word and I will tell Daddy he needs to go.”
“And you’re too good to me. I do need your help with a matter of the heart however.”
“Anything for you.” She pinched his cheek.
“You remember Freddy C?”
“That animal, what he do? How much trouble is he in?”
“No, no. He’s in love.”
“Oh, Mother Mary and baby Jesus, the poor woman.”
“I know. But he says she’s the one.” Carl held both hands up and looked skyward. “I swear on my Mother I don’t know who, but somebody told him the apple of his eye was once someone your father cared for very much.” Carl looked directly at Mary Theresa.
“Ah, gotcha,” Mary Theresa rattled off an impressive list of names to which he dutifully shook his head no at each one that wasn’t Cookie.
“Her name’s Cookie.” After he said it he thought that maybe he should not have brought it up. If Cookie was off the radar that could only be a good thing. But he had to make sure. Mary Theresa furrowed her brow deep in thought. A frown took over her face.
“Oh I remember that one. The twitchy lingerie model. Daddy fell for her quick. I told him she was probably a no good liar like her no good brother.” Mary Theresa spit on the ground without missing a beat. “Dan Fielding, professional deviant, he led me on, thinking marriage was right around the corner even though he was...” she went on her tiptoes to speak quietly to only Carl, “...gay.” Carl was sure he had misheard her. “Daddy let him walk away even after he broke my heart.” Mary Theresa continued to mumble unveiled threats to Mr. Fielding.
“He let Cookie go?” Carl needed her to focus on Christine right now. It sounded like he’d be the sounding board for her unearthed feelings for Fielding until it ran its course. Everyone was afraid of Loverboy but Carl knew Mary Theresa had inherited his vicious streak and elephant like memory. She was one to watch especially with Loverboy not getting any younger.
“No, Daddy went to AC on a business trip after the Dan Fielding incident. He hit big at craps and added two new blackjack dealers to his goomah menagerie.”
“So Freddie is in the clear?”
Mary Theresa tapped her chin. “Daddy never mentioned her again.”
“You’ll tell me if that changes?”
“Of course. I love a good love story as much as the next girl.”
“Freddie is gonna be thrilled. He is so in love but of course he would never dream of crossing your father.” Freddie fell in and out of love so often if any one asked him about Cookie his legit confusion wouldn’t strike anyone as odd.
“You make sure you tell Freddie I said, Hi”
Carl kissed the back of Mary Theresa’s hand. “Your wish is my command.”
“As it should be. And now since you have forced me to relive a terrible memory, you must accompany me to see if there are any promising hopefuls among the new blood.” Mary Theresa set her sights on the new faces wrapped up in ill fitting stiff brand new suits none of them had worn before at the sidewalk closest to all the cars.
“Mary Theresa I really shouldn’t.”
“Carlo, you have to break out of your shell. Meet new people.” She froze. “Do you see how fat Lorenzo has gotten? My goodness those pants are at critical mass.” Carl felt the sweat on his palms begin to form as Mary Theresa began her walking commentary at full volume in the midst of the people she was insulting. “Anyway, let’s go.” She held out her hand. Carl took it while doing his best to keep his head down and play dumb. His goal line was his car and tonight's assignment to trail the Kings County tax assessor would allow plenty of time to figure some things out about Dan Fielding.
A former Mary Theresa boyfriend. Or fake boyfriend. Mary Theresa said he was gay. Either way Loverboy let someone who had disgraced his daughter walk away. No strings. He had to find out what Dan FIelding possessed that rendered Schiavelli powerless. Tony hadn’t mentioned him. He’d never heard the name before in any of the situations where tongues were looser than normal between the families. He knew there was no way out of the mob. Well there were endless ways out, just not ones that ended with ‘and he passed away peacefully in his sleep of old age.’ And he had an even quicker way out than most of his contemporaries. If anyone, including his own crew, found out the truth about him, they would be honor bound to fix the problem tout de suite. But Dan had walked away. This puzzle would be solved and the solution would be kept to himself. Only to be used if things became dire. Always good to have an escape plan in reserve.
Dan is not a hard man to find. To be fair he just started at Christine’s work and there he was. It took him 35 minutes to solve the puzzle. 30 minutes of that was waiting in the security line to get into Manhattan Criminal Court. Carl spent a lot of time at the courthouse following various folks. His colleagues said the building gave them the willies or claimed it was a jinx to willing enter a courtroom when handcuffs were not involved. Carl didn’t believe that. Besides, all he did was follow folks and report back. He hadn’t seen stolen goods in over a year. They never asked him to rough anyone up. He could work alone when he tailed someone. He was better on his own.
Loverboy was many things, but he wasn’t an idiot. He wasn’t going to disappear a NYC ADA even if he had broken his little girl's heart. He stuck around the courtroom to see Christine. He remembered the wedding. She was beautiful. And afterwards she thanked everyone multiple times at the reception. A true blue sweetheart. Too bad it didn’t work out.
Someone rushed in from the back of the courtroom, decked out in a fine tailored suit, armed with a leather briefcase and an overflow of legal folders in his other arm.
“So glad you could make it, Mr. Fielding.” The plucky judge chided him without much malice behind it. Carl felt his breath catch and said a tiny prayer that Mary Theresa was right and there was the most miniscule chance in the universe the gorgeous ADA might be gay.
“Sorry sir. Lost track of time while doing my best to make sure I was fully prepared for our docket tonight.” Dan’s voice boomed across the room and those who had assembled for Criminal Court Part 2.
“I’m sure,” the judge smiled at him and then crooked his finger. Dan dropped off his belongings and approached the bench. There were whispers exchanged over what looked like fake wood. Before he turned back around, Dan zipped up his fly.
Carl was sure he was a dancer. If he had tickets to Miss Saigon somewhere in those tight pants, he was just gonna propose on the spot. They could figure out all that getting to know each other stuff during the rest of their lives together.
A trip to the library and a few hours of reading from his driver's seat while he watched the dock for anyone he didn’t know attempting to enter or exit the newest shipping containers verified all of it. Fielding was the ADA. He was also someone who lost an election to a dead guy. Considering that, the confidence Fielding had day to day was impressive.
He watched him for a week. Carl told himself it was to make sure he wasn’t missing anything. But it was really research of a personal nature. Carl saved his money. The only smart option with the need to leave in a hurry always looming in his life. Dan’s taste would burn through his decent sized nest egg in no time. But man would he look good. And eat good. And drive a fancy car. How Dan had not died of exhaustion was another mystery there wasn’t enough time to fully investigate. Maybe it involved certain exercises and those fancy juices some of the guys talked about their spandex clad wives swearing by. His social schedule was staggering. Carl hung out with mobsters who didn’t have full time jobs who would have thrown in the towel at Dan’s daily agenda. He was about to write Mary Theresa’s assessment off when Dan left his apartment late Saturday evening. The cab dropped him off about 10 blocks from the club in the Village Carl knew well from his teenage years. Dan smoked a cigarette with the doorman before he went inside. The sun rose and Dan surfaced again, finally looking exhausted. Another cab took him home where he stayed until late Monday afternoon when he had to be back at work.
Dan was neat and organized. Carl was glad to see he appeared to have a standing order at the drugstore closest to the courthouse. You have to be so careful these days.
The actual tail ended for multiple reasons. Boss wanted him over in Queens almost full time being the top one. His questions were answered. And none of the answers offered any chance for a mook like Carl. He didn’t have the stamina to keep up with him anyhow. Dan was way out of his league, best if he kept to what he knew, and Dan could sleep with the few beautiful people left in Manhattan he hadn’t already bedded. So he let the silly dream go and focused on more present problems.
April 4, 2023
Lydia is finally out. Victim of a rough sentence for driving a truck. She had no idea what the cargo was, not her job, all she knows is the pick up and drop off points and the price of gas in between. Later that same night, she is feeling no pain. Carl has been assigned to her to make sure she gets to the halfway house with all of her compensation payment tonight. He’ll wait outside until morning. Then he will take Lydia directly to the bank to make her deposit. If she gets to the job site by 9:30 AM, his job is done. But first he needs to get her to leave the bar. Lydia has been regalling everyone with tales of life on the inside. She is over 6 feet tall with broad shoulders and a bad attitude. Which is why the tale of the woman who scared the daylights out of her is drawing rapt attention from the gathered.
“You know the rules when you get there. Pick the biggest one you can find, kick her ass and you should be set. None of them were bigger than me. But I will tell ya, I met the craziest bitch you ever did see in there. This little wisp of a woman, meaner than your drunkest step father. Nothing phased her. Everyone was terrified. She ran the toilet wine trade with an iron fist so no one wanted to piss her off. I was the only one who could keep up with her drinking. I was her right hand woman for 4 years. I asked her once when we were both plastered who she wanted me to rough up for her birthday present. She got all quiet. So quiet I thought I might have to beat myself up. She said all her rage was for one man. It was her mission to get out and make his life a living nightmare.” Lydia raised her glass, the others remaining followed suit. “To Dan Fielding, may the next 30 days be the greatest of your life because Julianne gets out of jail in a month and you’re a dead man.” They all collapsed with laughter.
Carl felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Right when the thought about seriously getting out of the life had returned and made him unable to sleep at night, Dan Fielding had been dropped back on the game board. He had to protect him. Julianne was, or would be, out for blood, and he had no idea he was in danger.
The parking lot of the NY State Penitentiary Webster was pleasant. They kept it clean. Rows of trees surrounded it. There were even picnic benches to enjoy the view. Julianne was not hard to spot. She walked out of the gates loudly proclaiming she would be back to burn the place to the ground next Tuesday. Apparently destroying Dan Fielding was penciled in for the days in between.
He lost her at the mall. He rarely followed women. He wasn’t sexist or anything like that. He did the job he was given. All of that is besides the point. Julianne stepped into Macy's, bought or stole an outfit and vanished into the herd of 100 or so other white women in the store on a Thursday afternoon at 2 PM. It was like the Valley of the Dolls in there. No chance of finding her. Not in her natural habitat.
So he went back to the prison and waited for the wannabe arsonist to return. Made friends with the daytime admission guard, who told him there was a pool running for when Julianne would return to the cozy confines. Carl missed out on 200 bucks by a single day. She returned foiled on both her grand objectives. Fielding lived and the prison was not extra crispy. Public proclamations of burning down prisons don't bode well for parole no matter how overcrowded the jails are.
Carl moved on until he got a call from Franklin letting him know that Julianne was getting out via a new lawyer training placement program. He laughed at the address Franklin read off to him as he recognized it from long long ago.
Somehow it was possible that Dan Fielding had worse luck than him. Because there he was less than 3 feet from his self proclaimed mortal enemy. Forced to work together. She seemed to be giving the straight and narrow a real try. When his Boss handed out assignments for RICO case intimidations, Carl claimed her by virtue of seniority. He was going to put his long simmering ask Dan out on a date plan in motion. The universe can only grant you so many shots before ya gotta take at least one of them.
Fake dating Julianne was much harder than following people. Luckily she was quite occupied with so many hustles and social groups, and pyramid schemes, and MLM’s he only had to be attentive 3 hours a day, tops. Huge unexpected fringe benefit of the arrangement was somehow looping Abby Stone into getting him fired from the mob. 30 plus years of gut eating worry dealt with in a meeting that couldn’t have lasted more than 10 minutes. No harm, no foul. Good kid, that one.
Carl knew the engagement ring crisis would be his chance to shine. It was now or never when Julianne left them alone.
“You seeing anybody Dan?” Best to just jump right in. Swim trunks secured, might as well get wet.
“What are you talking about?”
“Simple question. You are or you aren’t? Me, I’m not.”
“Did you forget you’re dating Julianne?”
“Fake dating her.” Carl crossed his arms and let his smile take over.
“One day I won’t be surrounded by crazy people at work. Unfortunately today is not that day.” Dan was trying to think of places Jake had been when he had the ring at the courthouse. He was coming up with nothing because his brain could not ignore the gibberish Carl had just spewed. “Wait, why are you fake dating her?”
“I’m fake dating her to get to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I like you.”
“OK.” Dan paused to take Carl in. Carl, the former mobster related to some shakedown concerning the DAs RICO case. “I like you too.” He followed it up with his toothiest smile to hopefully get across how much he didn’t want to be roughed up or killed.
“You like me. You mean it?”
“Of course I do. What’s not to like? You bought me a delicious sandwich for free.” Which was true. It was a great sandwich. He would need to know where to get another one in the near future.
“I told you it would change your life.”
“You did.” Dan started the calculations in his brain about which exits were closest to him and which ones would get him out of this building the fastest. Carl was younger than him. Full head of hair and it looked like he kept in shape. Although it was hard to tell with the goofy tracksuit in the way.
“I’m so glad you like me. I can break it off with Julianne tonight. To be honest I’m running out of excuses to avoid the boom boom room with her.” His next sentence was a whisper out of habit. “You know I told her the other day I had to go and whack a guy to avoid hanky panky.”
“And when you got back she was even more turned on.” Dan knew right away how that excuse had backfired.
“She was even more turned on. Exactly.” Carl smacked at his shoulder. “The woman is relentless and slightly off. I think she’s a bit crazy, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Dan threw his hands out to plead with Carl. “Please say it so I’m not the only one screaming it into the darkness alone anymore.”
The successful moment of bonding shocked Carl into uncharacteristic silence. Now that he knew Dan liked him, Carl wanted to make sure he proved himself useful especially since he was currently between employment. “What’s our job?”
“Our job is to find that ring. Follow me. I have an idea.”
Carl found himself chattering away during every step of the path to the morgue. He was desperate to get Dan’s full attention again. “Speaking of ideas. I had some ideas I wanted to discuss with you, if you have the time, about your problem with your building co-op president.” Carl wasn’t so crazy about being in the morgue. But Dan’s idea to check the cadavers for rings was smart. This was the kind of out of the box thinking you didn’t encounter with a bunch of schmucks in the mob.
When the thick door of the morgue closed behind them, Carl turned to face Dan. “Was this your ploy to get me alone?”
“What?” Dan eyed him, considering regretting the decision to take the former mobster into a locked room that was essentially a large metal box.
“It’s OK if you’re shy. I used to be too. But I don’t got time to be shy anymore.” Carl clamped his arms around Dan.
It was crystal clear now, regret was 100% the correct emotion in this situation. "Why are you hugging me?" Dan was motionless like every other person in the room not currently being hugged.
"It's cold."
"Yes, morgues usually are.” Dan stared at Carl. Carl stared back, still smiling. “What is that I feel between us?" Dan amazed himself by raising the level of apprehension in his voice beyond what it already was.
"Huh? Oh, half of my sub. I add a hidden sandwich pocket to all of my jackets."
"Oh thank god." Dan’s head fell back and he lost himself in the flickering of the fluorescent light directly above him while he waited for his blood pressure to drop back down under spontaneous combustion levels.
“You know I followed you back in the day. Remember your dinner with Joseph Schavelli?”
Dan felt himself start to go white. The botched sting had haunted him for months afterwards. There was a period when he would only meet someone in a room that was covered in mirrors floor to ceiling. Slowly he looked down at Carl. He freed one hand to drag his finger across his neck, terrified but needing to know after all these years.
“No, no, nothing like that. I was smitten. I had such a crush on you.”
As a seasoned lawyer he should have never fallen for the unexpected personal appeal shift of gears but damn if he didn’t. Hook, line, and sinker. 10 plus years in night court where the unexpected is referred to as Monday but Carl’s confession floored him. It performed a clean reset on his brain that had been some form of scared for a solid 30 minutes. “Really?” Dan croaked out. Blame the cold, but he was flattered.
“Oh yeah, you were really something back then.”
The mad rush to help Jake organize the proposal had Dan feeling nostalgic in general. More nostalgic than was probably healthy at his age. Carl’s overpowering cologne transported him back to the days of dark clubs filled with younger guys drenched in the cheap knock off versions of the name brand colognes. All their nervous sweat mixed with it, soaking into every fiber of their best outfits. The suffocating smell only added to the desire to get them out of every piece of clothing as soon as possible. “Those were the days.”
Carl smiled and nodded. “Way worse these days.” He watched Dan deflate and realized the misunderstanding. “No! No! I mean worse for me. When I saw this silver fox in front of me, I didn’t know it was you right away. But now,” he whistled, “actually getting to talk to you. It’s over. I’m a goner.”
“That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in years.” Dan admitted and Carl beamed. Since his return to the courthouse he heard catcalls and hardly hidden whispers. And frequent, what he assumed were, compliments. He didn’t understand the terms but the tone told him they were good. Tone was important. If those 3 Belgian ladies who took part in the 1988 judiciary exchange program were to be believed, tone could tell you an awful lot.
Carl’s finger ran over Dan’s ring. He didn’t have to ask the question out loud.
“A widow.”
“Really, I mean, I saw you in action, you were laying pipe at Super Mario levels in the 90s.” He tried to keep the tone light.
A loud laugh hiccupped out of Dan. It took him a second to regain his composure. “She saved me from a very different life.”
Carl’s head bounced knowingly. “Definitely don’t want to be the creepy old guy at the club.”
Dan pointed at Carl when he nailed the correct answer on his first attempt. The knot in his throat came out of nowhere. “Somehow I had 2 people who loved me.” Dan turned his ring. “Sarah.”
“And Abby’s Dad.”
Dan remembered the way Bull bodychecked him with a profound conclusion out of thin air sometimes. The deja vu was strong. “How did you know?”
“I mean I’ve been watching people forever. You pick up some insight, you know. I saw you 2 at a diner one night. You spent hours there after you worked 8 hours with the guy. I was so jealous. Of him. And you. Mostly him though, if I’m honest. I wanted that. Someone I could be myself with.” Carl tapped the band on Dan’s finger and didn’t look away from it. “You were taken back then. No way I could have competed with that.”
“How about you?”
Carl shrugged after he dug both of his hands into his pockets. “Love is not really the kind of thing you can have in the mob. Especially if you aren’t straight. I lost my on again, usually off again boyfriend 2 years ago. I know it is not the same, but I am sorry.”
Dan waited until Carl looked back up. “I’m sorry too, Carl.”
Carl’s sniffles took a moment to subside. “So you wanna go dancing with me?” Carl smirked. The rebound in mood so striking Dan swore he heard a dodgeball bounce off something in the room with them.
The happiest times of his life were spent with someone he knew he could be silly with. He missed silly fun. He could mope later. Sometime in the future when there wasn’t a dancefloor nearby and his bones, joints, tendons, and ligaments were no longer willing. “It’s time to get these salsa hips back out on the dance floor.”
“Absolutely. I’ll mix in a few of the hip hop moves I picked up. It’ll be great. Don’t worry, it’s easy, I'll show you. Should I bring a matching tracksuit to the club?” Pure joy sped Carl’s words and ideas up, determined not to miss his shot.
“Never, ever do that.” Dan squeezed at his temple. He had spent years waiting to feel like he knew what he was supposed to do in these situations. In any situation. All this time and he was still winging it. “I don’t know if I can be more than your friend.”
“Friends is a great starting point for me to attempt to woo you.” Carl’s hand fluttered before he tapped Dan’s cheek and then took the chance he'd waited most of his lifetime for and touched his thick white hair.
“You are going to attempt to woo moi?” Dan motioned to Carl before flattening his hand against his own chest theatrically.
“Prepare to have your socks woo’d off.” They grinned at each other like dopes for much too long before Carl shooed him away. “Go. I know you don’t want to miss anything. I need to cool down. I’ll call you later, Big Dog.”
Dan spun on his heel and took a long leap toward the door. He flipped the rusted padlock piece from the hallway inside the frame to make sure Carl would be able to get out whenever he was ready. “Thanks.” Dan saluted him as the door closed.
“Don’t mention it.” Sure Dan could no longer see him, Carl took a knee, crossed himself, and began to hum ‘I’d Give My Life For You’. He took out his leftover half of sub and twirled his car keys on his finger on the way to the garage.