Chapter Text
The Boyz
Group Message
12/31/2016
5:07 P.M.
Diabetes: hey ody are u coming to the nye party
Diabetes: ody
Diabetes: odyyyyyy
Diabetes: ODYYYYYYYYYYYY
Eggman: calm your tits dio
Eggman: he's probably just at the boxinh ring again
Diabetes: nah bro boxing ring is fridays
Eggman: not you having his schedule memorized
Eggman: that's kinda gay
Eggman: do i bother reminding you of the eighth grade fiasco
T-Bag: Woahhh fiascos a big word for you eggy
Eggman: >:(
Diabetes: [Replying to Eggman]: IT WAS ONE TIME
Diabetes: IN A DREAM
Eggman: sure sure
T-Bag: Im not going
T-Bag: Teucer and I are doing shots at his place
Eggman: oooh say hi to teucer
Eggman: miss that man
Garfield: gay
Diabetes: ODYYYYY
Diabetes: WHERE HAVE U BEEN
Garfield: dio my brother in christ
Garfield: I was in the mf shower
Garfield: my dumbass woke up so late dude
T-Bag: By late do you mean 6 am
Diabetes: OHHHHHHHHH
Diabetes: GET WRECKED MOTHAFUCKA
Garfield: lmaoooo
Garfield: idk if I can go tbh
Garfield: today sucked and I'm tired as hell
Garfield: and my mom's hounding me about shit
Eggman: aw rats sorry ody :((
Diabetes: ya bro sorry for pestering
Garfield: it's fine I'll just like
Garfield: go to athena's or smth
Read by all 5:39 P.M.
Sissy
Messages
12/31/2016
6:08 P.M.
Sissy: mom's rlly not happy with u
Sissy: doesn't like the idea of u getting plastered
Big Brother: it's the new year
Big Brother: literally everyone is getting plastered
Big Brother: you saw mom went to cosmo's right
Sissy: ugh whatever
Sissy: just don't do anything stupid pls
Sissy: and be back b4 she's up tomorrow
Sissy: i'd be so embarrassed for u if u got lectured about that
Big Brother: fine
Big Brother: all I'm saying is she's the last person who can lecture me about being drunk on new year's eve
Big Brother: and she says the same things every year about it
Sissy: okay okay damn
Sissy: maybe i also just want u to be safe
Sissy: bitch
Big Brother: aw are you getting sappy on me
Big Brother: jerk
Sissy: sfkjdkjg I KNEW U KNEW THE REFERENCE
Sissy: but srsly be safe and have fun
Sissy: and don't be pissy at either of us tomorrow morning
Big Brother: idk if I'm even going tho
Sissy: oh
Sissy: wait i thought the juniors n seniors were throwing a huge party
Big Brother: oh they are
Big Brother: jury's still out on if I'll be there
Big Brother: I just needed a break so I'm going to athena's
Sissy: omg pls say hi to her bird for me
Big Brother: lmao I'll do my best
Read 6:16 P.M.
Bitchass
Messages
12/31/2016
7:54 P.M.
Fuckface: I changed my mind
Bitchass: YAYYYYY
Bitchass: cannot wait to seeee yiuuuuuuuuuuuu
Fuckface: omfg dude
Fuckface: are you already plastered ??
Bitchass: nooooooooo judt come ober
Fuckface: sure dio sure
Delivered 8:01 P.M.
Sissy
Messages
12/31/2016
11:28 P.M.
Sissy: happy new year
Sissy: i know it's not actually here yet but
Sissy: ur prolly not gonna be home by midnight so
Sissy: happy new year
Read 12:43 A.M.
Po
Messages
01/01/2017
10:04 A.M.
Ody: happy new year!
Po: hapoy new yesr ody :))
Po: fucj i still cabt type
Ody: it's ok man
Ody: you know I don't mind
Ody: just glad to catch you on a day you can text back yk
Po: PT is kicjing me in the ass
Po: at leadt the nww year is like
Po: stsrtinh over
Po: right?
Ody: you're so right !!
Ody: this year's gonna be your year dude
Po liked your message!
Read 10:13 A.M.
Bitchass
Messages
01/01/2017
1:20 P.M.
Bitchass: did u ever get that girls number by the way
Fuckface: ???
Fuckface: what girl ??
Bitchass: DONT PLAY WITH ME RN
Bitchass: DO U ACTUALLY NOT REMEMBER
Bitchass: YALL WERE TALKING ALL DAMN NIGHT
Fuckface: wait
Fuckface: it's coming back to me
Fuckface: oh fuck dude
Fuckface: fuckkkkkk she was so pretty
Bitchass: please tell me u got her number
Fuckface: ...
Bitchass: odysseus laertides
Bitchass: i swear to god bro
Fuckface: I mean how do you expect me to remember tho ??
Fuckface: you were JUST helping me through the worst hangover of my life like
Fuckface: two hours ago
Bitchass: FUCK
Bitchass: this couldve been so good but u fumbled
Fuckface: man fuck off all we did was talk
Fuckface: I don't even remember what she looks like so who cares yk
Bitchass: [Replying to Fuckface]: "i dont even remember what she looks like" U FUCKIN LIARRRR
Bitchass: ur just embarrassed
Fuckface: your mom's just embarrassed
Bitchass: be so serious with me ody
Fuckface: no but actually I cannot remember her face
Fuckface: I just know it had to be one of the prettiest mf faces
Bitchass: excuses excuses
Bitchass: fuck dude u looked so smiley w her too
Bitchass: if i were more sober id have recorded it
Bitchass: never seen u so in ur element like that
Fuckface: maybe I'll just see her at next year's nye party
Fuckface: she's someone from achaea right
Bitchass: not sure lol
Bitchass: there were a couple people from out of town
Bitchass: i think
Fuckface: well
Fuckface: it is what it is
Fuckface: maybe we can find her at school somehow
Fuckface: fuck who's someone we could ask who knows everybody tho
Bitchass: i dont even know bro
Bitchass: maybe achilles
Bitchass: but id rather eat my own feet then ask him for help
Bitchass: snobby fuck
Fuckface: *than
Bitchass: be nice to me
Fuckface: you sound like ctimene right now
Fuckface: but you're right
Fuckface: I'd also rather not ask achilles
Bitchass: hed be so
Bitchass: whats the word
Fuckface: indelicate?
Bitchass: ugh u genius man
Bitchass: yeah hed be sooooooo indelicate about it
Fuckface: if only po still went to our school
Fuckface: he would know who it is right off the bat
Fuckface: fucker's got the memory of a steel trap
Bitchass: yeah
Bitchass: hows he doin
Fuckface: wdym
Bitchass: like u know
Bitchass: u text him so
Bitchass: maybe im just curious
Fuckface: yk you can text him yourself right
Fuckface: ?
Bitchass: oh yeah
Bitchass: ur so right
Bitchass: i guess im just nervous about it though
Fuckface: ...
Bitchass: what
Fuckface: not this fucking bs again
Fuckface: you and your same reasons I stg
Fuckface: dio man
Fuckface: ily no homo
Fuckface: but have you seriously still not reached out to him ??
Bitchass: he can barely hold a spoon ody
Bitchass: he didnt even recognize me when we visited right after
Bitchass: it was awkward as hell
Fuckface: imagine how he feels
Fuckface: wow
Fuckface: that actually sucks of you
Fuckface: yk what you can ask achilles for all I care
Bitchass: bro dont act like u message him 24/7 or something
Bitchass: u were just saying the other day how awful u felt every time u remembered why he can barely keep up a conversation
Fuckface: that's not the same and you fucking know it too
Fuckface: don't talk to me until you've messaged him a happy goddamn new year
Bitchass: ody come on
Bitchass: odysseus
Bitchass: [Message deleted]
Read 2:19 P.M.
Eurylochus
Messages
01/01/2017
6:32 P.M.
Odysseus: happy new year
Message could not be sent.
Patroclus
Messages
01/02/2017
9:36 A.M.
Patroclus: Hey we have practice today right?
Odysseus: next week
Odysseus: 3:30 to 4:30
Patroclus: Sweet! I'll tell Achilles
Patroclus: Thanks cap'n :}
Odysseus: pat no offense
Odysseus: but you already knew that
Odysseus: your schedule is color coded so what's up
Patroclus: Why aren't you talking to Dio?
Odysseus: who says I'm not talking to dio ??
Patroclus: I say
Patroclus: He never looks this sad and mopey unless you two are fighting
Patroclus: Obviously you don't have to answer if you don't want
Odysseus: pat I really appreciate you
Odysseus: but please don't try to come in the middle of this
Odysseus: it'll only make things weirder for the rest of the guys
Odysseus: and I really don't wanna do that
Patroclus: Okay
Patroclus: If you ever want to talk just let me know :}
Read 9:42 A.M.
Athena
Messages
01/02/2017
4:13 P.M.
Athena: Call me when you get the chance.
Odysseus: whatever you have to say it's fine
Odysseus: I was being stubborn
Athena: So was I.
Athena: There's no need for doing this in text messages.
Athena: Call me.
Read 5:08 P.M.
Sissy
Messages
01/02/2017
7:39 P.M.
Sissy: are u gonna eat
Sissy: mom made a plate for u
Big Brother: I'll be down in a sec
Big Brother: I'm on the phone
Big Brother: not a call I can miss
Sissy: okay
Read 7:40 P.M.
Bitchass
Messages
01/03/2017
1:02 A.M.
Bitchass: u up
Fuckface: what do you want
Bitchass: u were right ody
Bitchass: i was being an idiot
Fuckface: and
Bitchass: i messaged him
Bitchass: he was real happy to hear from me
Fuckface: good
Fuckface: I'm sleeping now
Fuckface: night loser
Bitchass: goodnight bitch
Read 7:38 A.M.
Poseidon ([email protected]) | 01/03/2017 at 12:29 P.M.
To: Me +10 other recipients
CC:
Subject: Swim Season
Good afternoon gentlemen.
Achaea High's swimming season is almost upon us. Our schedule will remain the same as it did last year, with practices on Mondays through Thursdays from 3:30 to 4:30. Our monthly meetings with neighboring districts will be the last Friday of each month, with information about regionals to follow. A full schedule is being made and will be sent out in due time (many thanks again to Patroclus for lending us his spreadsheets).
An email will be sent school wide for anyone who wishes to step up and try out. Returning members will not need to do a full examination, but will be required to participate in a water safety test.
Happy new year. Stay ruthless and rested,
Coach
Poseidon ([email protected]) | 01/03/2017 at 1:04 P.M.
To: Me
CC:
Subject: Captain's Requirements
Good afternoon Odysseus.
As a reminder, captains will need to maintain a grade of B or higher in each class and extracurricular to keep their position. I noticed your grades have been drifting. It would be a shame if I had to delegate this responsibility to someone else. Consider reviewing this with your advisor and making any necessary changes. Thank you.
Stay ruthless and rested,
Coach
The Boyz
Group Message
01/03/2017
4:47 P.M.
Garfield: hypothetically speaking
Diabetes: oh god
Garfield: could I get away with murdering our swim coach
Garfield: or at least maiming him
Eggman: is he still on yoir ass about grades
Garfield: yeah man I got a wholeass email about it
Diabetes: what the fresh hell
Diabetes: he has to know ur like
Diabetes: one of the best students here right
Garfield: I guess not ??
Garfield: idk what the fuck he's worried about my grades are fine
Diabetes: then whats he so salty about
T-Bag: Maybe hes concerned about last year
T-Bag: (Not to beat a dead horse tho)
Eggman: nooo bc he would still have issues
Eggman: he's the type of guy to remember likr everything for no reason
Garfield: cantankerous asshat
Diabetes: what the fuck is cantankerous
Garfield: tell me you did not just ask me that
Garfield: skill issue dude
Eggman: skill issue
T-Bag: Skill issue
Diabetes: be so nice to me oh my god
Read by all 4:59 P.M.
Sissy
Messages
01/04/2017
6:39 A.M.
Sissy: mom says ur driving me to school
Big Brother: you're right down the hall from me
Big Brother: no knock on my door ??
Big Brother: no good morning ??
Sissy: good morning
Sissy: mom says ur driving me to school
Big Brother: cannot fucking wait until you have your license
Read 6:42 A.M.
Bitchass
Messages
01/04/2017
2:43 P.M.
Fuckface: dio
Fuckface: dio I found her
Bitchass: found who
Fuckface: THE girl
Fuckface: the literal girl of my dreams
Fuckface: I'm so convinced dude
Bitchass: u sure the whole new year of it all isnt getting to u ody
Bitchass: cause u were wasted
Bitchass: how do u even know its her
Bitchass: and what if shes like totally different outside of that party
Fuckface: trust me
Fuckface: it's definitely her
Fuckface: also mf weren't you literally just saying I should've gotten her number
Bitchass: yeah but like its been a few days now
Bitchass: [Replying to Fuckface]: give me a name or im not buying it
Fuckface: are you serious
Bitchass: mf yes
Bitchass: now
Bitchass: the name
Fuckface: I don't know her name
Fuckface: but she's in chem with ajax t and I
Fuckface: oh and she brings her knitting with her to home economics
Fuckface: I don't know how the fuck I didn't know who she was before
Fuckface: how did it take a wholeass party ??
Bitchass: okay casanova hold ur horses
Fuckface: I'm not saying I'm going for it
Bitchass: then why are u sooooo excited about it wink wink nudge nudge
Fuckface: maybe she and I will get to talk again
Fuckface: then we can be friends or smth
Fuckface: besides she's so out of my league I can already tell
Bitchass: quit that
Bitchass: ur a total catch bro
Fuckface: ily bro
Fuckface: no homo
Bitchass: yeah yeah love u too ody
Read 3:09 P.M.
Call Transcript: Athena & Odysseus
01/02/2017
Duration: 00:01:42
A: Hey, kid.
O: Hey.
A: Listen, I'm sorry for what I said--
O: Don't. Just...it's fine, I was just being stupid.
A: You were being kind, Odysseus. There's a difference.
O: Then why'd you say what you said?
A: Well, if you'll let me finish...[sigh] I said what I said because...
[...]
O: Yes?
A: I just don't want you getting yourself hurt.
O: You can't prevent that!
[...]
O: I'm sorry 'thena, but you just can't, okay? There's no changing what happened to him, and there's no changing how it feels for me. It's not your job to make it any...any more or less of anything.
A: No, no. You're right. Just...be careful. That's all I'm asking.
O: I am. I will.
A: Good.
O: Yep.
A: Right then...how're you holding up?
O: Fine.
[...]
O: Are we still boxing on Friday?
A: I could pencil you in.
O: Okay.
[...]
O: I gotta go, now. Mom made dinner.
A: Okay. Goodnight.
O: Bye.