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Growing up in the secluded, far northern town of Morepesok meant that he never had the privilege of choosing what he ate for meals growing up. No crops other than potatoes grew in the northern parts of Snezhnaya and hunting was out of the question half of the year due to the violent snowstorms. Ice fishing was the only way to get fresh food, everything else eaten was either stored potatoes from the spring harvests, bread that had been frozen and thawed again, or the occasional boar bought from a wandering trader. Ajax learned from a young age to appreciate every meal he got, and to never take for granted the earth that provided his family's food.
The Abyss only strengthened these beliefs of his. Food a human boy could eat was scarce in the desolate wastes of the Abyss. Skirk had to change him, had he wished to survive. He couldn't be the human body any longer. He awoke with grotesque abyssal features. Marks that looked like black and blue ink spilled across his arms and legs, black claws replaced his once thin fingers, sharp canines fitted into his mouth, fit with a jaw that could open much wider than any normal human's could. The fox-like appendages shocked him more than anything, a large fluffy ginger tail and a pair of twitching ears adorned him.
Those were only the external changes. Internally, Skirk told him his entire digestion system had been altered. Instead of the typical omnivore diet that humans had, He had become entirely carnivorous. Meat was to be the only thing he could safely consume, any non-carnivorous meal leaving him hurling into the dark bushes surrounding their camp.
He wasn't going to admit that Skirk had to explain what omnivore and carnivore meant to him
This made his life in the Abyss much more manageable. Skirk now only had to worry about training him to fight, survive, and hunt and didn't have to worry about finding edible food. Over the months he spent down there, he learned how to thrive as a monster. But there were also the nagging thoughts in his head about how his family would react if they saw him again.
His answer came much sooner than expected. At the end of his third month in the wasteland called The Abyss Skirk told him it was time for him to go home. She opened a rift in front of him and pushed him through without giving him a second to react. Within an instant he was laying face down in a bank of snow, all the adrenaline that had been keeping him going for those three months seeping out of him, leaving him exhausted and unmoving in the cold snow.
He should ask Skirk why she didn't summon a rift and send him back immediately after he fell when he sees her again.
After what seemed like hours having gone by, he heard loud sounds that reminded him of his mother and older sister. After months in almost complete silence save for his master's occasional harsh words, even distant shouts felt like the loudest sound in the world. His family had found him lying there in the snow, surrounded by blood, looking exactly how he had before he left, save for the new pair of fox ears, tail, and black claws that adorned him. The next few days after his return, no one could quite look him in the eyes, their confusion and fear preventing them to. They didn’t know why their son was now had fox-like features, nor why he kept swearing he had been in the Abyss for 3 months
It had only been three days, and what 14 year old could survive that long in the Abyss?
Their son now ate like a wild animal, as if he was still in the wilderness surviving. The first time his Mom cooked a meal containing no meat, he refused to eat it, trying to explain that he couldn't. When his parents made him eat it anyways, he spent the rest of the day vomiting in their bathroom, curled up on the floor clutching his stomach with cramps worse than even his monthly dose. They never fed him anything but meat after that.
The next few weeks felt like straight out of hell for the family. Their once timid son had suddenly not only had a boost of confidence, but a boost of strength and aggression. Every little jab from his peers seemed to anger him. He tried not to react, not to give in to the bullying, but one day something pushed him over the edge. A young teacher running frantically into the town square, calling desperately for a doctor. A bloody scene of 3 near-dead students and Ajax standing over them.
He was sent to the Fatui only days later. They were meant to straighten him out. He was never meant to be a Harbinger.
—
His days in Liyue had been flying by. He had already spent two months here, slowly uncovering information about Morax, the adepti, and the gnosis. The kind consultant he had met early into his stay had invited him out to lunch to talk multiple times, but today was the first time he could accept due to his busy schedule.
His walk to Wanmin Restaurant was uneventful as always. His ears twitched listening to the bustle of the Harbor as it created a pleasant white noise down the streets. As he got closer, the tall figure of the friendly consultant could be seen waiting just outside for him. He waved as he approached the man.
“Mr. Zhongli, hello! Sorry for keeping you waiting.” The words flowed effortlessly, he saw no need to keep up his usually secretive attitude towards the man. “I had much work to do today so that I would be able to relax for the rest of my week.” The man looked up to him from his standing point and gave a small polite smile and nod. “It’s no worry at all, I hadn’t been waiting for long. Our table should be ready, how about we head inside and you can ask any questions you have then.” His baritone voice rang out as the consultant, as professional as could be, guided the ginger fox inside to a private table.
Once they were seated at their table the young chef and waitress, Ms. Xiangling, walked over with an obvious cheer in her step to take their order. Looking at the menu in his hands, he was quite lost, not only could he barely read Liyuean, but he couldn't tell if any of the meals were completely meat based, they almost all seemed to be noodle or vegetable dishes. While looking over the menu, he hadn't even noticed the kind consultant beginning to talk about Wanmin and its history. He only noticed when he heard his name in the Consultants voice, "Mr. Childe, is there any dish you're looking to try? If you need some help, I can offer some advice.", At the offer he looked up, "In all honesty, my Liyuean reading isn't the best and I'm having a little trouble reading certain dishes. Are there any you recommend?", a small nod of understanding came from the man, he wasted no time in choosing a few dishes he stated were popular and explaining them in great detail. Luckily the man was speaking in common, or he would have had trouble keeping up.
In the end, the consultant chose a few dishes for them to sample from. Ms. Xiangling cheerfully chided Mr. Zhongli about overwhelming their newest customer, before coming back a few minutes later with various platters and bowls. As they were set down, Childe observed how many of them were noodle dishes, with the crystal shrimp dish being the only one to be mainly meat. For some reason he knew he would feel terrible if he refuse any of Mr. Zhongli’s recommendations after he went through so much effort to explain them. He would just have to deal with it and head home afterwards.
As the two ate, he listened attentively to the consultant's long spiel about the history of each and every dish. Some dishes he went more into detail about than others, but he sung praises for all the dishes he spoke of, talking about each one with careful words. He was surprised to be honest, the consultant seemed extremely knowledgeable and spoke of each topic with great care and attentiveness. Even the most mundane things seemed to be of great interest to him. Childe had to admit that the consultant had a way of making even the boring topics interesting to listen to. He had never paid this close attention to anyone before except for her majesty. His ears, which would usually be twitching and moving slightly during conversations, to pay attention to other sounds while still listening, were completely still, focusing only on the consultant.
The conversation had completely engrossed him that he hadn't realized 2 hours had passed, their meals long finished. He only noticed when dull pain enveloped his abdomen, steadily growing. He clutched his stomach under the table, holding back groans of pain, trying his best to keep a neutral face. He decided then that it was time for him to leave. He hesitantly cut off the consultants most recent tangent, "I'm sorry Mr. Zhongli, but I do have some more work I have to do, so I really must be going." The consultant nodded at his statement, "I too have work to finish, my apologies Mr. Childe, I had not realized how much time had passed." The consultant seemed oddly embarrassed about it, it seemed that he truly had not realized how much time he had taken up talking. Childe covered the check, as they both walked out of the quaint restaurant. "I enjoyed talking with you Mr. Childe, if you wish to talk over lunch or dinner again, simply send a message or see me at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor." The consultant gave a polite smile before waving goodbye.
The moment the Consultant had turned around, he rushed off in the direction of his temporary apartment, wanting to get to privacy as soon as possible. As he rushed back, he couldn’t help but clutch his stomach in pain and gag as he felt bile rising up his throat. Luckily he managed to keep down the vomit, rushing up the stairs while finicking with his apartment keys. As soon as he got through the door, he began to heave again. He barely had time to close the door behind him and make it to the bathroom before collapsing to the floor and vomiting into the toilet. He emptied his stomach into the toilet, heaving and groaning in pain. After he had finished, he curled up on the floor, tail tucking into his body and ears pressed flat against his skull. He spent nearly the whole afternoon and night curled up on his bathroom floor, only getting up to vomit into his toilet and eventually to get up and get water.
—-
His months in Liyue had been quite eventful. Rex Lapis had recently been killed during the Rite of Descension. Childe didn't believe that Rex Lapis was actually dead. For a god as powerful and respected as Morax to suddenly die without any fight seen to have broken out? To him it was unlikely. Although his mission required him to be worried about the possible death and to get as close to the supposed body as possible, he found himself less drawn to work recently. He had been going on his lunch and dinner outings with the consultant almost every other day. The two would meet in front of the restaurant they picked for that day, head inside together, have lunch or dinner, all the while with the consultant talking Childe's ear off about the history and culture of nearly anything. Childe always listened happily to whatever the consultant had to share, even if the topic would usually bore Childe out of his mind, he always stayed attentive, listening to every word, his ears always alert and focusing on only Mr. Zhongli.
He never quite noticed how much he enjoyed spending time with the consultant. It came about so naturally, like it was fate. If he actually believed in that stuff, he would have called it destiny that he and Zhongli met. Childe had gotten quite used to the routine the two had set. They would eat their meal, and Childe would leave before his stomach started to refuse the food he had consumed. He figured it would have been easier to explain his "condition" to Zhongli, however, that would mean explaining his fall into the abyss. Sometimes he chalked it up to his period, often when he was actually on his period, but that only worked for a few days every month. In all honesty, he was scared to explain his connections with the abyss to the consultant. People often couldn't understand the abyss, and when he told them he was connected to it, they got scared, claiming he must be an evil monster, if they believed him in the first place. He valued Zhongli too much, he was scared to lose that companionship. So he kept quiet, eating food no matter how much pain it would put him in.
Luckily, he got a few days of respite when zhongli would occasionally have business in Chenyu Vale. During those times he would place a special order from Wanmin, a to-go box full with shrimp, crab, and black-back perch. Xiangling never seemed to question it, one time making the off-hand comment that Childe must really enjoy seafood due to his “fox lineage”. He never corrected her. It was easier to let them believe.
—-
It had been weeks since he talked to Zhongli. The man had lied to him, the painful memories of that night in the bank lobby still fresh in his mind. It hurt the night it happened. Still hurt now. He put so much trust in Zhongli. Fell in love with him. Just to find out he had never truly known the man. How could he be sure that all their days and nights spent together were all true? How could he be sure that the companionship they shared wasn’t faked?
He could ask Zhongli. No. Why would he do that? That would be too sensible.
Zhongli had attempted to reach him. Sending letters, showing up at the bank, his apartment, even during one of his debt collections. It happened the same every time, either Childe ignored the man until Zhognli begrudgingly left or Childe yelling at the man, calling him names in Snezhnayan and berating him for his lying before Zhongli eventually gave up, apologized, and left. Every time it ended with Zhongli apologizing to him, letting him know that when he is ready to talk, he may seek him out, then leaving. Ajax cried every time.
It took 3 more weeks before Childe decided to talk with Zhongli. He had some encouragement from the Traveler and Xiangling when they all had lunch together. He was nervous. He realized that he was also partially at fault. He has ignored and berated Zhongli multiple times even though he was just trying to explain things. He felt terrible, yet he was still hurt and clouded by doubt. He’d never experienced such a confusing time since his initial fall into the Abyss.
It was late in the evening on a rainy day when he knocked on Zhongli's door. He waited for a minute, hearing shuffling inside, before the door opened. He didn’t actually think Zhongli would open the door. He wasn’t sure what to say or do. They just stood there staring at each other, Zhongli in his typical outfit save for the outer jacket, and Childe in his drenched uniform, ears pinned back, and sopping tail hanging low. It was Zhongli who spoke first, a light tone filled with worry, asking Childe if he’d like to come inside for tea. Childe nodded, not trusting his voice.
He stood awkwardly in the entryway, not wanting to ruin Zhongli’s apartment with his drenched form. Zhongli came back from the kitchen, looking a tad bit embarrassed, assumingly having started getting the tea ready before realizing Childe hadn’t followed. “Would you like a change of clothes? I have some spare in my closet that should fit you.” Zhongli asked Childe with a forced calmness. Childe only nodded slowly. The taller man led them to the bedroom at the back of the house, grabbing some comfortable looking clothes and leading Childe to the bathroom to change. It didn’t take long, the loose yet comfortable clothes weren't very form fitting, much less so on Childe. Although he was only an inch or two shorter than Zhongli, he was more lean and didn’t have as broad of shoulders. He couldn't help but enjoy the way he looked in Zhongli’s clothes, being able to properly smell his rich, earthy scent. The thought that these were freshly worn made him blush and his sopping tail sway.
Getting himself together and calming himself down, he made his way out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where he assumed Zhongli was. He found a table with two cups of tea and two bowls of bamboo shoot soup waiting for him, Zhongli already sitting down. Childe sat down in front of the second bowl, staring at it for a few seconds and debating if he wanted to eat it. He had been eating a purely meat-based diet since he had stopped talking to Zhongli. He knew that if he ate this he would have a bad reaction within a few hours, if not quicker. But then he thought about how Zhongli likely put a lot of effort into preparing this meal and was very kindly sharing it with him. He ate it.
There was no talking while they ate. Neither of them knew what to say. The irony almost made Childe laugh. The man who seemed to never stop talking, suddenly at a loss for words.Eventually, when they were both done, they cleaned up before moving to the couch. Childe hesitating to sit down since his tail was still wet and would most certainly get at least some water on Zhongli’s nice-looking couch. “You may sit down, Childe. I won’t mind if the couch gets a little wet.” The sudden talking had caught him off guard. He hesitated before muttering a quiet “ok” before sitting down. The silence that followed was deafening.
Zhongli was the first to speak again, “Why did you come here Childe?”. His tone was stern and made Childe’s ears pin back as he hung his head. “I… I wanted to talk… about things…” he was quite obviously nervous, Zhongli looked angry, yet sympathetic at the same time. “You either ignored or berated me every time I tried to explain things. Why have you come now?” Childe’s ears pinned back even further, his neck flushing in embarrassment. “I wanted to.. Apologize for how I treated you.” He cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice and keep his tears at bay. “I know I was wrong for how I reacted. I was hurt. I was scared that everything was fake, that you only wanted to get close to me to keep an eye on me. I wanted to know if my fears were true. And to say the… I’m sorry.. for treating you so poorly” Zhongli did not respond right away, merely staring at Childe.
A minute passed with no words being said, each second causing Childe to get more and more panicked. Eventually the silence got the best of him and he began to stand up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve let you be and not bothered you.” - “Chil” - “It was foolish of me, I'm sorry.”- “Childe.” - “I’ll collect my clothes and leave, I’ll wash your clothes and return them, I pro-”. “Childe!” He was stunned by the yell, standing there silent and staring wide-eyed at Zhongli.
Zhongli sighed before beginning “I’m not mad at you Childe, I lied to you and betrayed your trust. I only wanted to tell you that I was sorry. I knew it would hurt you, and I continued anyway. It was wrong of me. It wasn’t my intention to make you believe that my companionship was false. It’s not your fault you reacted based on your anger and hurt.” He paused a bit, seeming to think that Childe would have something to say. When he was met with silence, he continued, “I promise you that our time spent together and the friendship we developed was never false. I never lied to you on that front. I should have distanced myself if I knew my true identity would hurt you. But I couldn’t keep myself away. Everything about you was too alluring, your bright personality, confident yet kind demeanor, it all made me want to stay. Made me want to get close to you, and stay as close as possible.” Childe couldn’t help but flush at Zhongli’s words, “I’m sorry that I doubted you zhongli. I was so hurt and convinced you never cared in the first place. I can see that…” the flush covering his face only growing as he talked “you… care for me. I liked being around you a lot. The thought of you never caring about me… was too much.” Childe was flustered beyond what he ever had been in the past. He loved Zhongli dearly, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. He was scared that Zhongli would never feel the same, but the longer they talked, the more it seemed possible.
They continued to talk for a little while longer. The conversation slowly devolved into a story from Zhongli about the history of how he earned the name Rex Lapis. Childe had been content to listen, pressed up against the comfortable and warm couch. He was enjoying himself, happy that he and Zhongli had seemed to make up, that content was not there for long before he began to feel pain shooting through his abdomen from his stomach cramping. He panicked. WIthin seconds he was so nauseous he couldn’t hear or see straight. His stomach was in the worst pain he had ever felt. He felt the bile rising in his throat. He didn’t even hear Zhongli worriedly calling after as he stumbled to the bathroom before collapsing onto the floor and vomiting into the toilet. He stayed there hunched over the bowl for a few minutes, not even realizing that Zhongli had followed him and was currently sitting beside him.
After his stomach had finally calmed down, he realized what had happened and noticed Zhongli’s presence at his side. He turned his head to meet Zhongli’s gaze, his own glassy and tear-filled eyes causing Zhongli to get even more concerned. “Childe… are you alright?”. He could only groan in response before turning back around to vomit some more.
Almost two hours had passed by the time the vomiting stopped and the pain in his abdomen dulled. Zhongli had stayed at his side the whole time, only leaving once to grab a glass of water for Childe. Once the fox had curled up on the ground Zhongli acted. He bent over him, placing a firm hand on his forehead to check his temperature. After he checked, he reached over to grab the cup of water and offer it to Childe. He sat up unsteady, propping himself against the wall. He took the water with shaky hands and attempted to drink, only being able to take a few sips before he felt himself becoming nauseous again. Zhongli was yet again the first to speak. “Childe, are you sick with something? Vomiting for this long isn't usual for humans.” It took Childe a few seconds to process the man's question, and another few to contemplate whether he wanted to make an excuse or to tell the truth.
Zhongli was a god. He would believe him… right?
“I… I can only eat meat” … “What?” … “My body can only digest meat, and nothing else. It.. uh.. Happened when I…”. Chidle couldn’t bring himself to continue. If the truth got out, everything could change. “When you what, Childe?” He should tell him… “When I fell.. Umm.. into the Abyss…” Silence. It dragged on forever, the louder the silence, the more nervous Childe became. “You fell… into the Abyss?”. Childe nodded slowly, noticing that Zhongli probably wanted him to explain. Yet there was no doubt in Zhongli’s voice, only concern. “When I was.. Uh.. 14, I ran away from home because I was bored. I… fell into the Abyss. I was there for 3 months. My Master, Skirk, had to… modify… my body so that I could survive. There isn’t much food that is edible in the Abyss, so she had to change my body.” He stopped when he felt himself start to become nauseous again, groaning as he attempted to lean back towards the toilet in case he vomited again. Zhongli seemed very concerned, but there was still no hint of doubt in his gaze. “Childe… we’ve eaten meals consisting of vegetables and noodles ever since our first meeting, have you been getting sick like this after every lunch and dinner.” Childe didn’t respond, only looking embarrassed as he stared into the toilet bowl. Zhongli only sighed and moved closer. Slowly leaning in to hug Childe, making sure he didn’t object or pull away at any point.
Childe felt wetness falling down his cheeks. “I’m sorry” his voice was meek and raspy. Zhongli only hushed him, holding him there for a few minutes until Childe had become completely relaxed in his hold. Zhongli ended up breaking their comfortable silence, “Would you like to stay here for the night? It’s the least I can do after making you feel so terrible.” Childe pulled away enough to turn to face Zhongli fully and stare at him wide-eyed. “It’s not your fault Zhongli. I should have explained it.” … “Why didn’t you?”... “I… I was scared you wouldn’t believe me, or you would think I'm crazy. No one except the Tsaritsa ever believed me. I… didn’t want to lose you” At this Zhongli only pulled him back in and held him tighter.
After a few seconds, Zhongli pulled away and stood up, helping Childe stand alongside him. He slowly but steadily led Childe all the way to his bedroom, letting him lay down in the bed. “You’ll stay here for the night and let me take care of you. For now, you need some rest.” Childe flushed at Zhongli’s care and attempts at comfort. “Where will you sleep?” Zhongli let out a small chuckle and pointed to a chair nearby the bed “As an Adeptus, I have no need for sleep like humans do. But I will be staying here until you wake up to make sure you are alright” Childe wasn’t used to this much care and attentiveness. He hasn’t been taken care of since he was a young child. Since before everything happened. He smiled gratefully at zhongli. “Thank you” Zhongli gave a warm smile back.
“Goodnight Childe. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”