Chapter Text
John Laurens, at the age of 25, had hoped to forget most of his college life, or at least as much of his personal college life, as he could, seeing as it did him no good to reminisce on the past. After all, if he was happily married to the love of his life, what reason would there be to long after remember his old crush? It's not as if he still held feelings for him. No, he couldn't, he was a married man, it would be wrong. Well, as long as he wasn't caught, there should be no problems, right? Right.
-
John awoke to the sharp and piercing beep of his obnoxious alarm, groaning, "God, I need to change that..." under his breath. He dragged a hand over his face, pulling the skin down slightly. He rolled over to see his wife, Martha, still sleeping peacefully. John had always been amazed at how she was able to sleep through almost anything. He signed and pushed himself to a sitting position, the covers that had been on top of his torso now bunched around his waist. He yawned widely and pushed the blankets away, bringing his legs over the side of his bed and standing, his arms stretched upwards. After a moment of stretching, he stopped when his vision became spotted, allowing it to return to normal before he walked to his dresser. He grabbed a change of undergarments from the top left drawer and shuffled towards the bathroom, yawning again before closing the door.
He set his hands against the counter and shut his eyes for a second, letting his eyes adjust to the harsh bathroom light. He yanked his toothbrush up from where it sat, right next to Martha's. He paused, the bottle of toothpaste in his hand hovering over the bristles. He stared at the toothbrush that sat on the side of the sink, wondering how he ever got to where he is now. His mind drifted to college, to his roommate that he had always admired. To the whispers shared in the dark of night, as if worried that someone would overhear even though they had their own dorm.
"Hey, did you hear about what happened with our professor, Seabury?" he remembered his roommate excitedly whispering. Somehow, he was always up to date on the latest drama in every category. Professor gossip, school fights, any and everything you could think of, he had some form of dirt or undisclosed information on it.
John shook his head, shaking away all thoughts about college, and went back to what he was doing, putting a dollop of toothpaste on his toothbrush and going about his morning routine.
-
"I'm leaving soon, Martha," John said as he stood up from his seat at the kitchen table, setting his glass down. His wife stood as well, smoothing down her dress and walking towards her husband. She planted a kiss on his cheek, a slight lipstick mark left, before he kissed her forehead and made his way to the front door.
"Have a good day at work, honey," she said in her sweet, smooth voice, waving with a smile on her face as he left through the door. As soon as John was out the door, he wiped the lipstick smudge off of his face, the feeling of discomfort growing to an immeasurable size. He hated himself for it, but he had never loved Martha. He didn't even know why he married her in the first place. To escape from his true self? Perhaps. To keep up the image his father had produced for him? A very real possibility as well. All he knew was that it was a terrible choice, one he would never be able to rectify.
-
As he drove into the parking lot of the little office building he worked at, he groaned as he saw the parking space that he particularly liked was already occupied. "Great. I bet it was Angelica," he muttered as he rolled his eyes before coming closer. "That doesn't look like her car though... Who am I kidding, she gets a new car every month," he mumbled to himself before searching for a new parking spot. He found one a little walk away from the door and took it, grateful for finding one closer to the door on such short notice. He shuts the car off and sits for a second in a saddening silence before shaking his head and gathering everything he needed for today's work. He checked his watch as he walked into the building. 7:15. He's right on time, as always.
"Good morning, John," Eliza greeted him as he walked inside.
"Oh, hey Eliza, good morning," John responded absentmindedly. Angelica immediately noticed his tone and raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Is everything alright with Martha, John?" she asked without hesitation. John jerked his head up, and his eyes went wide.
"What? Why wouldn't they be?" he asked, somewhat defensively. Angelica had always suspected there was more to him marrying Martha then just them being high school sweethearts. She had never bugged him about it before, she had guessed it was a touchy subject for him, but she had her theories. "It was just a question, John. I apologize if I overstepped my boundaries," Angelica said, raising her hands in defense, almost a surrender.
"I-... No, you're alright Angie. I didn't mean to snap at you," John mumbled with a heavy sigh. After the few moments of silence during which John clocked in and prepared to get settled into his cubicle, he asked Angelica a question; "Did you get a new car again?"
"No, why do you ask?" she said, looking up at John as he sat in the chair in the cubicle next to hers.
"You didn't? But there was another person's car in my usual parking spot," John said, a half accusatory tone laced in his voice.
"Trust me, you would be one of the first to know if I got a new car. I would flaunt it in front of you immediately," she said with a barking laugh, aligning the papers on her desk properly. "Though, there is a new employee. He might've taken your spot."
John cursed under his breath. Great. Now he had to be even more conscious of what he says and his tone of voice. He had a reputation for scaring the new employees away after his first year on the job. It had now been almost three years, and it had been about three months since the latest employee, Maria Lewis Reynolds, had arrived. It had been years since they last saw each other, but John hadn't forgotten what went down in high school. He didn't know if he should still be mad at her. It happened years ago, and people change. There was no guarantee that she would do such a thing again, and he knew this. So, he put his past anger behind himself and tried to greet her with the hopes of starting fresh.
Maria, however, did not respond the same way. She avoided eye contact with him, shrunk away from his touch when he tried to shake her hand, went quiet when he was around. He knew that she remembered what she had done, and that she was the one who forced it upon herself. She had said that Alexander put her up to it, but everyone knew she did it of her own accord. He brushed off her aloofness and went about his job as usual, taking little notice of her. If she didn't want to talk to him, he had no problem. Less energy wasted on a front of happiness, anyway.
"So, where is this new employee? I wanna give him a piece of my mind for taking my spot," John grumbled, looking at Angelica around the divider between their desks. He had a slight scowl on his face, but he knew he shouldn't. It's a parking spot, for Pete's sake, there was no reason to get so bent out of shape about it.
"I saw him go to Washington's office. It's his first day," Angelica said, casting a quick glance at John as he stared at her with his scowl. "Fix your face. Eliza wouldn't be happy to see such a mean expression on it," she said, chuckling as John stuck his tongue out at her.
"What was that about a mean expression?" Eliza called from her desk at the front of the building, a hint of a smile on her face. She walked up to Angelica's desk, eyebrows raised as she looked at John.
Angelica cackled as John quickly fixed a smile upon his face, his eyes crinkling slightly at the ends. His grin was toothy, a surely exaggerated version of his normal smile, and his eyebrows were raised as well, making his face look extra goofy. Eliza just looked at him for a second before giggling. "Just get to work, John. You mess around too much," she said before she turned and walked off.
John rolled his eyes with a small smile on his face before he sighed and cracked open his laptop, setting it on his desk and typing in his password when the screen turned on. As he waited for his laptop to login into his account, he leaned back in his swivel chair, his head resting on his hands. A door slammed open and he snapped his head towards the sound, his body tensing slightly, as if he was ready to jump up and protect himself.
”Oh! Alexander, hello!” Angelica said after she recovered from her slight shock. John’s face went slack as his eyes registered the person standing in the doorway of Washington’s office.
”Hello Angelica. Apologies for opening the door with such force,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, his fingers twiddling with the hair at the base of it. The man’s brown eyes wandered around the room, glancing over John before they snapped back to him.
”John?” the man, Alexander, said, his hand falling from the back of his neck. “John, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” He rushed up to him, his arms opened wide, and pulled him into a rib-crushing hug.
”Hey… hey Alex,” John mumbled, tentatively wrapping his arms loosely around the shorter man that was currently crushing him. A smile spread across his face after a second. He hadn’t realized how happy he would be to see his college dorm mate once more, seeing as the last time they saw each other, they didn’t exactly leave on the best terms.
After almost a solid minute of hugging, Alexander let John go and stared up at him with a smile as wide as the world. “How have you been, man? I haven’t seen you in years!” he said excitedly.
”I’ve been well enough, I guess. How have you been?” John asked, sidestepping Alex’s question with a vague answer and a question of his own. He let a gentle smile settle on his face as he looked at Alexander, his head turned down slightly. He’s still so short, John thought to himself with a slight chuckle.
“I’ve been amazing! College was great, as I’m sure I told you almost every day back then, but it was a little boring without you. I’m glad you’re well though!” Alex said, his words coming out at a rapid speed that was akin to a hare’s running.
“I see you still rattle off words faster than your brain can process them,” John said, crossing his arms over his chest.
”My brain can process the words I speak just fine, for your information,” Alexander said with a huff, crossing his arms as well and jutting his chin up almost arrogantly.
”I was just playing with you, Alex,” the taller man said, letting his arms fall from his chest as he raised one to pat Alex’s head.
”As much as I love this little reunion, we have to start working. Who knows that Mr. King will do if he finds us slacking off,” Angelica said, snapping her fingers at the two.
”Wait, he’s the boss here? Like, the George King?” Alex asked, a dumbfounded expression set on his face, his eyebrows raised and his mouth gaping.
”Yep, sadly,” John sighed, his smile falling from his face as he looked at his swivel chair bitterly.
”I thought Washington was,” Alex muttered, a hand rubbing the stubble on his chin.
”He’s the boss of us, but Mr. King is the boss of him,” Eliza explained, walking over to Alex and planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. He turned around and kissed her cheek, a large smile on his face again. John felt a strange pain in his chest, as if he had been stabbed, but he didn’t let it show on his face. He should have expected them to get together. After all, what happened in high school was such a silly thing that of course it wouldn’t affect their relationship for a long time. Whatever happened in college didn't matter either, everyone messed up then, and Eliza was more forgiving than most.
”Your cubicle is right next to John’s,” Eliza said, pointing towards the empty area next to John.
”Wait, did Jefferson finally leave?” John said somewhat excitedly. Jefferson's cubicle was right next to John's, and he had hated with a burning passion. He couldn’t provide much reason besides that Alex hated him in college, and John had always followed that Alex did. Most of the time, he did, anyway.
“No, he just moved departments,” Angelica sighed, opening the tabs needed for her to begin working. John groaned loudly, throwing his head back, his eyebrows scrunched together in agony. “Whyyyyy? Why can’t he quit and get a different job?”
Alexander chuckled at John’s antics, covering his mouth to keep his laughter muffled. “Do you still hate Jefferson that much?” he asked through his giggles, his hand still somewhat covering his mouth.
"Yes. He got worse Alexander, he got worse," John replied, his face solemn and serious. He stared Alexander dead in the eyes as he uttered those words.
"God, how could he have even possibly gotten worse? I'm sure that's just an exaggeration," Alex said is disbelief.
"I'm afraid John isn't lying, Alexander," Angelica murmured from where she sat at her desk behind where Alex was currently standing.
"No.." Alex said, his smile falling from his face, "But- no, that's just not possible! How could he even be any worse? He was already the worst he could possibly get!" he almost shouted, his eyes wide as he looked from John to Angelica frantically.
"Alex, volume," Eliza said softly, holding one of his hands in hers gently.
"Apologies," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at his hand enveloped in Eliza's. He stared at them blankly for a few seconds before he blinked quickly and raised his head, a sheepish smile on his face.
John took notice of his expression, and he knew what it meant. There was no way, though, right? He loved Eliza with his whole being, and he always had, even if he slept around a lot in college. But, what if... No. John shook his head slightly, imperceptible to everyone around him. He looked at Alexander again, his eyes scanning over his face to take note of any slight changes in it.
"Well, I should start working before Mr. King finds me and hunts me down on my first day," Alex sighed as he began to set up for his work. He sat down in his chair and rolled it towards his desk, typing his password into his laptop. Eliza left one more kiss on his cheek, which he barely turned his head to receive, before walking back to her receptionist desk by the entrance of the building. She waved to Maria as she sat down, who was seated in the cubicle at the end, on Angelica's other side. Maria waved back with a shy smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. When Eliza looked away, Maria gazed at her longingly for a few seconds, her eyes softening for just a moment. When she noticed that Angelica had seen her, she turned her head down and hid her face.
Angelica let out a silent chuckle before returning back to her own work, shaking her head slightly.
-
Throughout the day, Alexander had been invading John's space, just as he'd done those many years ago in college. Every few minutes, some form of his name came from Alex's mouth, or he popped up over the divider between their desks and started a conversation about whatever had come to mind in the moment. At first, John was happy that he had wanted to talk to him, but after the first ten times, he got a little annoyed. It's not that he didn't wanna reconnect with him, by all means, he'd wanted to for many years, but he just couldn't do it when he had work to do.
"Hey, remember that one time in college when-" Alex began before John cut him off with a slight glare.
"Alex, I know that you want to catch up, and I do too, but not at the moment. Please, just let me get my work done for the day. Maybe after work, we can all catch up again," John said somewhat harshly. He didn't mean for his words to come out as sharp and snappy as they had, but he had barely gotten any work done since he'd started, and three hours had already passed since he got to work.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize..." Alex's voice trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. John noticed that he always rubbed his neck when he got reprimanded or corrected. He didn't know if that was something he always did. He never got in trouble in high school or college. At least, never in front of John.
John sighed as he saw Alexander's face. He looked like a kicked puppy on the side of the road. "Come here," he said after a short moment of silence. He opened his arms for a hug and waited for him to walk towards him. Alex just looked at him, confused. John waved his hand towards himself twice, gesturing for him to walk over to him.
"I'm offering you a hug, dumbass," John said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. Alex's face lit up and he quietly walked around the divider and jumped into his lap, wrapping his arms around John's neck. John tentatively let his arms envelop his waist. "Just like college, no?" he muttered, causing Alex to laugh quietly.
"Exactly like college," he mumbled, looking at John with a smile. They were so close, their noses were centimeters apart, and they were looking into each other's eyes with the most shit-eating grins on their faces.
They jumped when Angelica said, "What are you guys doing?" from behind them. "Aren't you both already spoken for?" she said jokingly when she saw Alex sitting in John's lap with his arms around his neck and his face only inches away from John's.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're only friends, and everyone here knows that," John retorted, letting Alexander get off his lap.
"John, you never told me you married," Alex said, crestfallen. His face was adorned with a hurt expression as he looked at John.
"I mean, you blocked me on all socials, and you didn't ask," John replied, avoiding Alex's gaze. He didn't mean to pin the blame on Alex, even though it seemed like he was, but he had posted on all his socials when he did marry. Alex just didn't get over their dispute from college in time to even be able to see said posts.
"Oh, yeah. I guess that is my fault," Alex said after a moment of shocked silence, "Speaking of which, I need to add you on everything again."
"Why don't we wait until after work? No one here wants to get caught off task," John trailed off, craning his neck to look over at Mr. King's office door. Still closed, meaning they were safe. For now.
-
John sighed heavily as he pulled into the driveway of his home, sitting in the car for a few moments after he turned it off. He stared ahead at nothing in particular, many thoughts swimming in his mind. He shook his head and opened the door of the car, grabbing his things before closing the door and heading towards his house.
When he walked inside, he was greeted by Martha. He offered her a simple, "Hey," before he walked into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and took his clothes off, stepping into the tub and closing the curtain, letting the water run over him as he just stood. He let his mind wander freely, his thoughts centered around Alexander, as he washed his body and hair.
Once he finished showering, he dried himself and changed into a pair of comfy clothes, walking out to the dinner table.
"How was work today?" Martha asked as she set plates of food on the table.
"Mmn. It was okay for the most part. I got to see Alexander again," John murmured as he grabbed a knife and fork.
"Hamilton? When did he start working there?" she asked, sitting down and digging into her food.
"Today was his first day. Also, he's married to Eliza," John said offhandedly.
"I always thought those two were just the best of friends. Who knew they would marry," she said lowly.
"I know how you feel," John chuckled.
They ate the rest of their dinner in silence, the occasional compliment to the food here or there. John brushed his teeth after Martha had already done so herself and laid down. He stared at himself in the mirror for a few minutes, mulling over his choices in life. He shook his head and brushed his teeth quickly, almost aggressively. As he laid down in the bed next to Martha, he let his thoughts wander one more time, always returning to Alexander in some way. Him as a whole, their relationship, the time spent away from one another, his lips, their lives and how different they were, his lips once more, college memories, and by God, how his fucking lips just couldn't seem to leave his mind. 'I'm not making it to the end of this week,' was the last thing on his mind before he fell asleep.