Work Text:
It had been one month, two weeks, and five days since Double Life had ended, and Scott had not left his house since.
Overall, the whole game had been rather anticlimactic, so he had been told. Since he hadn’t won, he couldn’t remember anything that transpired. Getting messages between servers was hard enough so he hadn’t bothered to ask for more details from the Hermits who had participated. He was supposed to go rest for a few days, maybe schedule a therapy session, then get back to his usual drill. There was something Scott forgot to consider, though. Just because he left his memories behind didn’t mean he took nothing with him.
He had found out he was pregnant a week after coming back. A week of back pains and fatigue and vomiting in toilets before he finally caved and purchased a test. Then another. And another. All of them positive. Scott’s next and immediate step was to check how to get that parasite out of him. He didn’t want to be pregnant, let alone be a parent.
That of course leaving out the part that it was half him and half someone else, who definitely didn’t know they were getting a kid! What was he going to do, take a paternity test and force someone to pay him child support? If they were on Hermitcraft, he would have to worry about inter-server nonsense. And if they were on Empires? Well, that would mean losing a friend. Or wrecking a marriage, if it happened to be Joel.
Every time he tried to think about who he could have done something so irresponsible with (because he had made many bad decisions, but there was no way in hell he was trying for a baby in a death game, even when factoring time dilation he would never fall head over heels that hard), something made him stop. Like the memories were hidden from him for a different reason. So he had just decided to assume he had conceived this creature by himself, and not to push it. In any case, he had to have an abortion.
Unfortunately, he had found out he was too far along to go through any procedures. Five months along, in fact. The moment he got home from the appointment he had sunk to the floor and cried.
He didn’t go outside anymore. Didn’t want anyone to see him like this, bloated, without a binder because it hurt too much. Most days, Scott couldn’t look down at his own body. The mirrors had blankets thrown over them or tossed out entirely. He had to cancel the hormone therapy appointment he had scheduled months in advance. He had been so close.
A few of his friends, especially the ones that had been in Double Life, tried contacting him at first. But after a few weeks they stopped almost entirely. He still got messages from Jimmy, though. Some days, Scott hoped he was the biological father. He would probably be kind about the whole thing.
Now, Scott was just laying on the couch, trying not to cry for the third time that day. He had been subject to violent mood swings ever since he had gotten back, and they were only getting worse now. He was trying to find what color would work for his latest sewing project (he called it: “If You’re Going To Ruin My Life At Least Pay Rent”, title still being workshopped) when he heard a noise from the door.
A knock.
He dropped the sewing like it was on fire. After weeks of being left alone, it was strange that someone would still try and come over. Scott grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around himself. The least he could do, since hiding his condition was getting harder and harder. “Come in,” He called tentatively.
The door creaked open to reveal a woman with sunflowers in her brown hair. Her eyes were a bright blue, sparkling with emotion, though Scott couldn’t tell which. Without hesitation, she bounded in. “Pearl!” Scott hadn’t seen her since the end of Double Life, when they’d all woken up in a big circle. She was supposed to be on Hermitcraft, after all. “What’re you doing on Empires?”
“We’re doing a crossover event, haven’t you heard?” Oh. A crossover event. He should have known this. How long had it been since he checked his comm? She started to wander through the room, inspecting the carpet. “Nice place you got. Very… colorful.”
“That’s Chromia for you,” Scott tucked the blanket even more securely, as she seemed to want to stay a while.
After she was satisfied, Pearl turned back to him. “You seem pale, are you good?”
Scott swallowed. The moment she left he was going to have one of the worst cries of his life. Of course he wasn’t alright. Everything hurt and there was no way of fixing it. He was broken, a prisoner of his own body. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You didn’t know I was coming, I messaged you three times,” She started. “You didn’t even know I was on server, you butt!” Scott shrugged in apology. “Actually, Joel says he hasn’t seen you in a while either. And Sausage. And Pix. So yeah, I get to check in on my s- my friend.”
“Well,” Scott replied smoothly. “I’m doing alright, just keeping to myself for now.”
“Okay, whatever you say,” Pearl said. “Now get in here!” And she opened her arms, swooping in for a hug.
“No, Pearl, I’m go-” But before Scott could protest, she had already wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. With the sheer amount of proximity, there was absolutely no way she couldn’t feel his bump. Or his lack of binder, for that matter. She was going to know.
Sure enough, she stiffened. “Oh,” She said softly. “Scott? Are you-” Her hand reached down towards his stomach, like she was making sure it was really there.
Feeling her hand graze his bump snapped him out of whatever spell he’d been under. Scott pushed himself out of her arms and took a few steps back. He had nothing to say to her. No excuses, no clever explanations, just him on full display.
Pearl didn’t move after him. Just watched him move, as if he were a wild animal backed in a corner. Her eyes were dancing with an odd emotion, one Scott could not place if he tried. “Is that why you’re avoiding everyone?”
Scott nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
“Have you been alone all this time?” She asked. He didn’t answer, but felt the tears he had fought so valiantly begin to drip down his cheeks. He was alone. He wanted to be fully alone. He wanted his friends back, his life back.
“Hey,” Now she stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of his face, using her thumbs to wipe his tears. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.”
That only made him cry harder, sobs wracking his frame. He must have looked awful like that. But Pearl didn’t step back. She didn’t run away from him, she wasn’t disgusted. She stayed.
Slowly, Scott was guided to the couch. Pearl sat next to him, an arm around him, just a little tighter than normal. “It’s alright. Let it out.” All the emotions he had been feeling for the past month, the anguish and stress and isolation and sheer dysphoria seemed to hit him at once. He clung onto Pearl like she was a lifeline, and she didn’t say a thing about it. Every once in a while, she would rub circles into his back. Eventually, he calmed down, took a shuddering breath, and looked up.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” Scott pleaded.
“Course I’m not telling anyone. Do you need anything? Water?”
“No,” Not entirely true, water sounded great. “Just don’t go.”
“Oh believe me, I’m not going anywhere,” She promised. He didn’t need to ask her if she meant it, because he could tell by her tone of voice.
“Thank you,” Scott’s voice was muffled by her dress.
Pearl sighed. Not like she was irritated, but more endearing. “Tell you what. How about I move in with you for the crossover? I get a place to live, and you get some help around here.”
“Oh, I-” Scott stuttered. “I wouldn’t want you to- I’ve been fine-”
“Scott, how are you going to care for a bunch of llamas if you can’t even bend down?” Pearl raised an eyebrow. “The poop isn't going to scoop itself.”
Scott stared up at her through blurry eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Scott, do you remember why I went with the name Pearl?”
He did. She had been so nervous about the whole process, scared that everyone would hate her afterward. Hell, he had only found out she was trans by accident. One day, he had given her a list of names, circling ones he thought she would like. Pearl was near the top. In a week, she was introducing herself as a woman, and had started estrogen that month. Scott had never been prouder. “Yeah,” He answered.
“You were there for me when I needed it most. So let me be here for you.”
There was a lump in his throat, oh lord he was going to start crying again. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Pearl laughed. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a house to build. Any color scheme I should go with? Would red mess up your whole thing too much?”
“No, no, red’s fine,” It’d probably wreck his whole theme this season, but it wasn’t like he went outside enough to enjoy it.
“Right,” She stood up, carefully releasing Scott. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”
“Okay,” Scott watched her go out the door. And for the first time in over a month, he felt relieved.