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“Well, that is you as Lady Bloodflame. But who were you before Lady Bloodflame?”
The question silences me for a moment. ‘Ridiculous. I would never do something like that.’ And as I open my mouth to tell the witch in front of me that, the fire in my heart begins to flicker wildly.
“I don’t know, but I know I would never-” Several things happen within mere moments. Firstly, I notice the witch’s eyes widen for a brief second. Then the sight of her is covered in a raging blue flame. My head begins to pound and ache as if it’s being torn apart. And as I fall to my knees, my hands go to my head, and I scream, my voice inaudible from the voices in my head.
“Our Lady?”
“Something is wrong with our Knight!”
“Lady Bloodflame!?”
The voices have never been this loud before. Normally, they are more subdued and respectful, but panic and chaos are all I hear in my brain. My vision blurs, and when the blue fire recedes, Nerissa is in the Witch’s place, chained to the ground and covered in dirt and soot. As I open my mouth to call out to her, the tap of a heeled boot on stone rings out, and the voices in my head go blissfully silent. I turn my head to the sound, and horror fills my heart. There, standing confidently, hands on Thorn, and blue fire on her chest burning bright, is a face covered in uncaring disdain that I’ve seen in the river when bathing. My own.
“So… this is the mighty Demon of Sound? I guess nine thousand years in here took your might right out of you.” I feel a shiver down my spine as what is and isn’t my voice, filled with disgust, echoes in my ears.
“... Who?” My head snaps to the other occupant in the room, who is Nerissa, but not MY Nerissa. Her voice is rough from disuse. How long has it been since she has spoken? Even when groggy, my Juliet’s voice never sounded this way. I feel something in my heart twinge as this Nerissa looks up and I see that her normally bright and whimsical eyes are a dull hue, almost foggy as they try and focus on this other me.
In response, the other me lets out a shrill, haughty, villainous laugh. “Roses are Red, the Fire in my heart is Blue, also known as the Scarlet Queen , the Harbinger of Order , Leader of Justice! I am Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame! ” My voice echoes painfully in my head at how familiar it sounds. “And I am your new warden. Farewell, Demon.” As the other me says this, and turns away, Nerissa’s voice weakly trembles out, but still well audible.
“...W-water… please…” I begin to look around the room to see if there is water I can get her, before hearing the other me continuing without pause, and the Cell door slamming shut.
I feel shock and disgust roar through my soul, and my vision blurs again as my blue fire covers my sight. Dishonor. Where is the justice in letting someone who needs help suffer!?
When my fire calms once again, my head is no longer pounding, and the voices in my head are seemingly gone. I gasp for breath, my throat aching. Have I been screaming this whole time? My eyes register that I am back in Libestal, and Shiori is exactly where she was, a concerned and confused look on her face. A twinge roars through my brain as I realize I have never once called her Shiori here, only Lady Nyavella or Witch. Never her name. Or her title of ‘Archiver’.
“Lady Bloodflame?” Shiori calls out almost gently, a hint of worry in her voice. It makes sense that she would be worried. I was chasing her after all. Another pounding throb of disgust soars through my body, and a burst of nausea seeps into my very veins as I quickly turn and vomit. I don’t bring myself to care that some gets on my hands, as I begin to remember every vile dishonorable thing I have done to her, Nerissa, and their fellow Cell Breakers. The group of them living in worry and terror for months as I relentlessly chased them, the battles that took place, the damage I caused. A gentle memory of calling Mococo my sister makes me gag and expunge my stomach again at the thought of my gentle, silly sister being treated so poorly by me in the past.
I hear the grass nearby rustle and quickly cough out a hasty “S-stay away!” I must look a sight, kneeling in my own filth.
“You remember, don’t you?” Comes Shiori’s voice, and the tone is different, as expected. Her question makes me release a sob I was holding in. How long has she had her memories? This whole time we’ve been in Libestal? Since we returned to the past?
Another step from her. “STAY AWAY!” I scream out, and my fire roars to life like a comforting blanket. I shake some of the filth from my hands and quickly reach to my side where my map is stored. Lady Bloodflame does not use magic. But the Scarlet Queen has no such qualms.
I use the teleport magic to warp myself to the library, desperate to get away from one of the women I have dishonored so horribly. While disorientating, it is bearable enough for me to rise to my feet and flee to the river. I quickly begin to wash my hands and face clean, before I see a flicker of blue in the clear water. My reflection stares back at me, and for a moment, I see my mirrored self look upon me with the same disgust and disdain that I once looked upon Nerissa with. “You… I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I hate, I HATE YOU!” Thorn is in my hands within mere moments and plunged into the river, destroying the reflection. How could I ever have been like that? So… unknightly. What Justice was I even following? The red sheen of Thorn flickers in my eyes, and I am reminded of what I have claimed and what I know of the blade. Thorn only cuts those who are unjust. Only yesterday, I had shown Mococo that the edge does not cut me. But that was me as Lady Bloodflame. What about now, as Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame, the Scarlet Queen?
I reach a finger out and feel a sharp prick. Shakily, I look at my finger and see a bead of red begin to seep out. Lady Bloodflame was Just. But Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame, so-called Leader of Justice, was not. I glance into the river and see my mirrored self again. “Now that I have my memories, why is it that I only see a monster?” I grab Thorn and stab into the reflection again, desperately hoping to feel any kind of better at seeing the mirror me be destroyed.
“Is that helping, Scarlet Queen?” I freeze and turn to see Shiori staring at me, her light-yellow eyes faintly glowing. Her stance is not antagonistic, but my subconscious memories come to the forefront of my mind, and I want to lash out, to attack, to capture, but I refrain. There was nothing ‘Just’ about capturing the Cell breakers. Who even ordered their capture?
“I wish it was.” I say honestly, voice breaking, and throat still sore from my previous screaming. I turn away from her to look back into the reflection, hoping to see myself again, but I still see the mirrored me, almost laughing at me. “How… Did…” I find myself staring into the fake me’s eyes, seeking answers to the questions I haven’t asked. With a shake of my head, I look back at the Archiver. “Shiori… I am sorry.” That's all I can say. I do not deserve any questions answered, not from one of the few I have caused suffering with my endless chase.
“Are you apologizing to Shirori of the Nyavellas? Or to the Archiver?” Came her response. “And are you apologizing as Lady Bloodflame? Or as the Scarlet Queen?”
The question takes me by surprise. “Yes, to all of them,” I say clearly. “As Lady Nyavella, you have done nothing wrong. Would I have appreciated a different memory for Nerissa’s commission, yes, but I have never done anything to earn that kindness from you. You were only giving the truth. And as the Archiver… there’s so much to apologize for, and not enough time to cover them all. I do not blame you for forcing my memories back into me as comeuppance.”
Shiori quirks an eyebrow, before speaking up. “You might not believe me, but I didn’t do anything to your memories. Whatever you remembered, you did on your own.” I wince as I process the information. I wasn’t exactly expecting to be forgiven, but an acknowledgement would have been nice. Not like I deserve one.
“I… see.” I murmur. “I believe you. From what I can remember, you are not a liar.” I give a pathetic laugh. “When… when it’s time for everyone to go back to our time, I will stay away from you and yours. I can’t remember who ordered us to capture you, but you have not hurt anyone in Libestal. None of you Cell Breakers have. Not even me… It doesn’t make up for all I’ve done, however… it isn’t Justice to keep chasing you.” My words barely come out, like part of me is fighting to prevent me from saying them.
The Archiver remains silent for a moment. “The Script for this land isn’t over yet. Not even close. But it’s also not the time to break free from the script. You regaining your memories may mess with the script, but it shouldn’t too much. Our time in this Libestal is almost over, but our time in Libestal is not. For now, remain as were as Lady Bloodflame. I will make it obvious when you can make it up to us.” Her words are cryptic, but honest. I nod in understanding.
“I understand. It… will be difficult to act as I was. Lady Bloodflame is… an Ideal I don’t think I can reach, not with the memories of who I used to be." I admit to my adversary, before my knees begin to tremble. My flame flickers brightly as if to mock me. The blue of my fire attracts my eye before I look back up to Shiori in a panic. “What about Nerissa? She will notice a difference between me a few hours ago and the me now.” I point out. Whatever this script is that the Archiver knows about, it might be in danger if my potential blunders affect others.
“Just hide from her, it’ll be fine.” came the reply. I shake my head.
“That won’t work. Nerissa… she… she knows Lady Bloodflame. She’ll think it suspicious if I just clearly avoid her.” Whether this is fully true or not, I only know two things. I don’t deserve to be close to her, not after the pointless strife I’ve put her through. And I desperately want to see her again.
This seems to amuse the Archiver more than anything. “Fine. I might have a spell I can cast. Do you trust me, Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame?” The cockiness in her tone wasn’t called for, but I have no reason to fight her tone. Not after all I’ve done.
“The old me is screaming to not.” I say earnestly, as I kneel before her. “But Lady Bloodflame, as apprehensive of you as she was, always trusted you to have the best intentions with your actions.”
The look Shiori gives me is one I don’t think I fully understand, but she raises her hand, and my flame flickers brightly as I feel a gentle rush of magi-
“We’re with you. We’ll cross time and space if we have to. This is our fight now too.” I hear Tam Gander say to Fia.
Peasant the Bae speaks up, her hands behind her head in a carefree manner. “And if we bring a little chaos with us, hey, that’s just our nature.”
The Hot Pink One reaches a hand up to her chest with a smile on her face. “Because even when it feels like civilization is ending, there’s always hope.”
I hear a giggle from Lady Nyavella, and a gentle surge of magic makes my flame flicker, and suddenly I’m aware again of all that transpired in the couple of days between mine and Shiori’s last conversation. “Ah, is that what you think? You think you can just set things right? Fix what’s broken?” The Archiver’s eyes glow in the library as everyone turns to her.
“What are you…?” Tam Gander asks, and a realization comes to my brain. This is the point Shiori was talking about. This is where we can break the script. Where true Justice can shine, instead of whatever fallacy the old me followed. A chuckle sounds, and I feel my eyes dilate as my gaze lands upon my princess. “Life’s not that easy, darlings.” It takes everything I have not to swoon, before I begin to consider, is this my Nerissa? Or the Nerissa that I failed in my sense of false justice? “Haven’t you learned anything from all we’ve been through?”
My sister slowly reaches out towards her actual sister, who is perfectly in sync together. “The people you trust…”
“The people you admire…” Fuwawa and Mococo gently clasp their outstretched hands together, and lean in both of them air quoting.
“”They all turn on you eventually.”” They say in unison.
Bijou reaches a hand up to the gem on her chest. “The darkness in the heart always takes over.” She gestures outward with her hand towards the rest of the us. “Nothing stays pure.”
I feel my eyebrows narrow. While this may be the part where we can break the script like Shiori said, the fact that all their eyes are glowing is unnecessarily ominous. Each of their sentences being spoken individually certainly adds gravitas to this whole moment, I admit.
“How can you say that?” IRyS asks as Baelz raises makes a gesture with her hand.
“Have you girls gone loopy?”
Fuwawa makes her own gesture.“On the contrary…”
“We finally see clearly.” Mococo finishes.
Nerissa, sweet, goofy, beautiful Nerissa, runs a hand through her hair with a confidence she hasn’t shown me before in our more private moments. “You girls have fun on your… little ‘quest’.”
“We’re doing things our way.” Biboo says with a wave.
The Archiver unantagonistically waves her hand out over to the crowd. “Who’s with us?”
The library falls silent.
I take a step towards the Cell Breakers. “L-Lady Bloodflame!?” I hear Gigi ask in confusion. I pause in my step, giving a glance back towards everyone.
“Do not fret, Gonathan.” I soothe, my voice carrying over everyone, calling her by her name in this world. Having someone else violently get their memories back in this moment would only cause more stress. “They may be acting very ominous, which isn’t winning them any favors, but they do make a good point. Those of you who do remember, what was our goal in the previous Libestal? What was our goal in this Libestal? And why have we failed each time?” I shake my head. “This needless suffering is not Justice. Time and time again, over misunderstandings because of our lost memories, people getting hurt both physically and emotionally, who is to say that we won’t lose our memories again? How many times must we attempt the same process only to fail? Look amongst you! How many have we left behind to come here!? How many of us will make it out alive in our next attempt!?” I take another few steps forward, before kneeling before Nerissa. “As I said before, Princess… I am your knight. You have my sword.” While embarrassing to say it out loud, it felt liberating to announce it to the others. A gentle, soft hand pulls my head up, and I see Nerissa’s proud and happy smile. I stand and turn my back toward the Cell Breakers, showing my trust in them. “I refuse to let this Entity toy with us any longer!”
While I may not fully understand what Shiori’s plan is, or if there even is one, I do know that no Knight worth their name would allow their Liege to be in harm’s way. And as long as I stand, no harm shall befall her.
The fire in my heart surges, and I can only hope that I will be able to make up for my transgressions to the people behind me with this simple act of faith.