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“I don’t even like him.” Crawley grumbled, gesturing to her glass of water expectantly.
“You do,” Jesus answered, grinning into his own cup and waving his hand. The liquid in Crawley’s goblet was suddenly crimson.
Crawley swirled his glass and breathed in the aroma of the finest wine she had ever tasted. She knew that she would never taste one as perfect as this again after… well… it all went down in the next few days.
Crawley shook her head as she savoured her wine, “We are too different. He would never.”
Jesus leaned in over the table and breathed into Crawley’s ear, “You and I are different, too, ya know.” He pointed upward, “And She doesn’t seem to mind that we are friends.”
The ruby hairs on the back of Crawley's neck stood up and she shivered. “That’s different. I’m meant to tempt you. All a part of the Plan n’ all that.” She scowled and drained her glass, slamming it down on the table. She poured it full of water from the decanter and flashed her serpent eyes over smoked lenses.
Jesus shook his head and poured himself another full cup before waving his hand yet again.. “Yes, the Plan. I just wish She had given me some bloody idea what it is.” He shrugged and sipped his wine. “I guess I die a painful death so the rest of humanity is safe from your l ot.”
Crawley cringed. Her lot was not really hers at all. After all, she didn’t really mean to fall, she more sauntered vaguely downward… hung out with Lucifer and the guys at the wrong time. She didn’t really fit in upstairs or downstairs. At least on Earth she was more or less left to her own devices, until she wasn’t. Thus the present situation she found herself in.
Jesus nudged her, “Don’t tear yourself up about it. I’m not bothered.” He threw back the glass and waved his hand again, the liquid remaining in the decanter went red.
Crawley lifted it. “Couldn’t wait to fill your cup, Messiah? Patience is a virtue, ya’ know?”
Jesus slammed his cup down on the table and leaned in again, “Patience means very little to a dead man, Demon.”
They finished the pitcher, laughing and chatting away. Crawley would occasionally take the young man’s hand and press it to her lips, and each time the Angel sitting hidden in the shadows of the farthest corner of the pub would gasp.
How dare he! Tempting the Son of God Herself! Aziraphale thought to himself as he signed the cross over his chest before popping a fig into his mouth. The truth was that he cared less about who the Serpent of Eden was tempting, and more about the fact that she was tempting anyone at all. He sipped his meade and continued to watch, trying, and failing to read their lips.
Once the wine was gone, Crawley stood up and smoothed down her robe. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder and gestured for the Son of God to follow her out of the pub. This was the last kingdom that they would visit together before he would suffer his foretold fate. Aziraphale had followed them across the globe as Crawley had taken Jesus to see all of the great kingdoms. It truly was a kind gesture, to show the Saviour of all of humanity exactly what he was meant to suffer and die for. Aziraphale had only wished that Crawley had not also taken the Son of God to bed with her. The thought of it made his chest feel tight, hot, and painful. Was it jealousy? No… Angels couldn’t feel jealousy. Or could they? It wasn’t something that he had expected from the Demon, even as demonic as she was. Most of Crawley’s previous temptations had been rather mundane and harmless, well… other than the one that created original sin and all that… but sins of the flesh had not really been Crowely’s forte for all these years. Aziraphale was shaken to his core the first night he peeked through the window, brushing the frost from the glass to see two bodies beneath a fur blanket, moving in ways that the Angel had seen on several occasions since Eden, but never between a human and a Demon… and not just any Demon… his Demon.
He had reported to his superiors that the Demon Crawley had been traveling with the Son of God, but took care to never mention that not-so-little detail. He had been charged with keeping an eye on Jesus, and if anyone found out that he was allowing Her son to… fraternize with a Demon… he wasn’t quite sure what would happen to all three of them. She had to know though, right? Was She not keeping an eye on Her only Son? The Son She sent to save the humans from the very evil that he was now…. fraternizing with? It was all too much for Aziraphale to make sense of, and when he thought about it his chest did the hot, tight, painful thing again, so he felt it was better to not even try.
Jesus and Crawley stumbled their way through the street, laughing and holding onto one another. They made their way into the little house that they were staying in and closed the door behind them, not lighting a single candle or lantern. Aziraphale ran to catch up but by the time he made it to the window he could only see the same shadowy bundle of bodies moving beneath the covers on the bed, a woman’s voice giggling and calling out the Son of God’s name as he made sounds extremely unbecoming of the Messiah.
Aziraphale stood still, unblinking as his vision blurred. He tried to take in a breath, but could only manage a sob.
“Wot’s the matter, Angel.” A voice came from behind him… not just any voice…
“Crawley?” Aziraphale breathed as he wiped his eyes and turned around.
“The one and only.” She cocked her hip and crossed her arms. “I figured I might find you here. You’ve been keeping an eye on the young man this entire time, haven't you? I wondered why you hadn’t come to join the party.”
Aziraphale could hardly believe his ears. His hands balled into fists on their own and he placed them firmly on his hips. “Join the party? Excuse me, Demon, I am an Angel and I do not sully the temple of my corporation by fraternizing with humans the way you Demons apparently do… nor would I ever with Her only Son!” He pointed up. He had not realised that the volume of his voice had increased to nearly a shout.
“Shhh, you’ll disturb them.” Crawley placed her finger against her lips and stepped closer to Aziraphale. “Wot do you mean by fraternizing with humans? Sully the wot exactly?” She took off her smoked lenses, eyes squinting and confused.
Aziraphale looked at the window, back and Crawley, and back at the window again. “Wait… but… you… him… then who is in there?”
Crawley threw her head back in laughter. Nearling falling over, she caught herself with both hands on her knees and doubled over, her long, ruby hair falling over her face. Once she caught her breath she stood and looked up at a very distraught and irritated-looking Angel.
“Aziraphale, you can’t really think that it was me making the Son of God call out his mother’s name all these months?”
Aziraphale cringed. “I… well… sincerely… I…”
Crawley wiped her eyes, put back on her dark glasses and gestured for Aziraphale to look in the window.
There, sitting up in bed with arms wrapped around one another were Jesus and a young, blonde woman.
“Who the devil is that?” Aziraphale squinted.
Crawley wrinkled her brow and put her hands on her hips, “Really, Angel? Your lot are terrible at their jobs.”
Aziraphale humfed, “I beg your pardon, it would be me that you are talking about here.”
Crowely nodded, “I would hate to see how this place would be like if either of us were in any way competent.”
Aziraphale nodded in agreement and quickly brought the subject back to its point, “Honestly, though, Crawley dear, who is that lovely young lady there with the Son of God.”
“Walk with me, Angel. Wot do you say we talk about it over a drink and some breakfast?” She motioned to the sum that had begun to rise over the horizon.
Aziraphale took Crowely by the arm and nodded, “Yes, I am a bit peckish in the morning, and I am very interested in hearing about your travels with Her son.”
They sat down to coffee, sausages and sweet bread together. Crawley didn’t eat herself, but sipped on coffee while watching Aziraphale tuck in. “These are quite delicious my dear, would you like one?” He offered a fig bun to Crawley.
She waved it off, “No thanks, Angel.”
Aziraphale gave a little wiggle and popped it into his mouth, “Well, suit yourself. So, you took him to see the kingdoms of the world, yes? And brought Miss Mary Magdalene along for the ride?”
Crawley nodded, “Sort of. He knew who I was right away, of course. I thought he would smite me, but it turned out we have a lot in common.”
Aziraphale shivered, “I somehow doubt that.”
Crawley scowled and looked down into his cup. Suffering for Her plan was something that Crawley knew too well. It seemed fitting that she would be the one to take Jesus under her wing. Crawley had never been sure if it was Her plan all along, but put the thought out of her mind quickly. She received commendation from Hell for tempting the Son of God to the sins of the flesh and wasn’t about to let on that God Herself may have actually planned it. Demons were to stupid to connect the dots themselves, most demons anyway… angels too… but Crawley knew it immediately.
“If you doubt it so much, Angel, then why is it happening at all? Hmm?” She pointed upward. “She sends Her only son to try and do something good down here, but in order to do it he has to suffer a fate worse than death and then bloody die too?” She set her cup down hard on the table, her frustration showing. “He and Mary have been in love since they were children. I wasn’t about to let him be executed without having a bit of tenderness in his life.” She dropped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hand, watching out the window as the orange and pinks of the sunrise gave way to bright spring rays.
Aziraphale sighed. “You are right, as usual my dear. It is… not my place to question Her great plan, but I have been… conflicted about it all. I suppose that is why I haven’t let Gabriel know that I’ve been following you.”
Crawley turned, surprised. “Wot have you been telling them?”
Aziraphale looked around and leaned in, “Well, when I thought you had been… well… you know… I didn’t want anything to happen to either of you, so I simply told them that Jesus was on his own, but that I had spotted the Serpent here and there. I let them know that I was… well, keeping an eye on him on his lonely travels as he worked to bring Her word to the kingdoms before ascending. Truth be told, I barely mentioned you at all.”
Crawley looked down at her lap. “You really thought that of me, Angel? After all we’ve been through? I thought you might know me better.” She sucked in breath and shook off the sinking feeling in her stomach, “But it makes sense I s’pose… I am a demon and all that. Got commendation ya know? Good ol’ tempting serpent, me.” She was glad to have her dark glasses hiding her eyes, and stood up to walk out the door. “See ya’ around, Angel.”
Aziraphale’s guilt nearly overwhelmed him, “Crawley wait! I… I didn’t mean… I’m not sure why I… it had nothing to do with you being a demon that made me think that… I was…”
Crawley waved him off, “Don’t bother worryin’ about it.”
Aziraphale stood up and called after her, “Crawley, wait!”
Crawley did wait. She stopped in her tracks, and the world stopped around her. The humans in the restaurant stopped moving, and air was still, and there was a deep silence all around them.
She took a breath and turned to face Aziraphale. “It’s alright, Angel. No one here, above, nor below can hear us.” She turned, but did not look up from the floor.
Aziraphale shuddered a breath and stepped closer to Crawley. “The truth was…” He reached up and gently touched the end of the Demon’s long, red tresses, brushing his fingers along her shoulder, “...the truth was it had nothing to do with you being a Demon… but more with you being, well, my Demon. If it were anyone else I would have smote them on the spot… but you… I’m afraid, have beaten me to the punch, or so they say.”
A grin crept across the corner of Crawley's lips. “Smitten are you, Angel?”
Aziraphale’s smile softened, “Always my dear, and without an inkling of regret I’m afraid.”
Crawley wasted no time, she lunged forward, and wrapped her arms around Aziraphale. Their mouths crashed together fiercely, but the kiss that followed, while desperate, was gentle. Their lips pressed together as they shuttered into each other’s mouths, breath staggered through sobs. Aziraphale reached up and removed Crawley's dark glasses and wiped away the moisture from her cheek.
“My dear, I am so sorry that the thought ever crossed my mind that you…”
Crawley shook her head, “Never mind, Angel. It wouldn’t be the first time that Hell had made me do something terrible. You were right to wonder.”
Aziraphale pulled away from the kiss and shook his head, “If they made you… Oh, Crawley… how terrible, I can’t even think of it…”
Crawley pulled him in close, “Shhhh, hush now Angel. Let’s not think about that stuff now, eh? Come with me.”
She snapped her fingers and they were suddenly sitting in a little room above the pub. There were no windows, and the ceiling was very shallow, it was little more than a dark attic, but it was filled with soft down pillows and silk and fur lined blankets that surrounded them.
“Is this where you have been staying?” Aziraphale looked around, concerned
Crawley shrugged, “Hell isn’t expecting me to be sleeping on the job Angel, evil never sleeps as you know… but I do value some rest from time to time. It has been pretty easy keeping an eye on the Son-of-you-know-who when he and I are good friends. I find little places to lay my head along the way. Gotta give the couple their privacy you know.”
She smiled into Aziraphale’s mouth as she pressed in again, laying him back onto the soft cushions. Aziraphale tangled his fingers into Crawley’s long, ruby hair as their kiss deepened, tongues tasting each other’s lips and deeper. Crawley reached down and pulled her long, black skirt up to reveal nothing underneath. Aziraphale struggled to untie his robe and pushed it open. As their skin touched he let out a moan that was reminiscent of when they ate cakes in Rome. He was already achingly hard, and rutted himself against her thigh.
“You are wanton, dear Angel.” She grinned as she nipped his bottom lip.
He laughed and reached down, soaking his fingers as he brushed them along her lips. “I would say the same for you, Demon.” Crawley whined a despirate “ Ngk” as she watched her Angel lick his fingers. She snapped her fingers and suddenly white and black robes were now gone, their bodies exposed.
“I’ve missed you, Crawley dear. I don’t believe I’ve had you in this form in, well, quite some time.” Aziraphale ran his hands up and down Crawley’s thighs as she straddled him.
Crawley rocked forward and back, gliding herself along Aziraphale’s length. “If you’ve tasted one forbidden fruit, Angel, you may as well taste it all.”
Aziraphale’s strong hands grasped the back of Crawley’s thighs and pulled her forward, sliding down to position his face directly under her ruby curls.
“Ffffuuuccckkk….” Crawley moaned immediately as Aziraphale’s tongue pressed against her skin from her ass to her clit. When Aziraphale tasted anything, he tasted it with passion, and Crawley was no exception. He took his fingers and spread Crawley’s swollen lips, exposing her inner labia and hard clit. He hummed as he rolled the tip of his tongue around the swollen bead of flesh, wrapping his lips gently around it and sucking, stroking his tongue over the hood. His hands held Crawley in place as she trembled and struggled to stay up on her knees.
“Aziraphale… Angel… I… oh fuck…” She gasped between broken sentences.
Encouraged, Aziraphale slipped his tongue inside of Crawley’s folds, tasting her as deeply as he could, moaning into the salty, and sweet flavours of his demon. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the feeling of her soft curls against his face as she rutted herself against his nose, chasing release. It was advantageous that he had no need for oxygen.
Aziraphale’s face and neck were soaked, covered in his own saliva and Crawley’s dripping arousal and come. Aziraphale slipped one finger inside of Crawley from behind and began to gently thrust in and out of the silky, pulsing opening. His aching cock leaked onto his stomach as he felt her tighten around his fingers as she called out his name and came.
Between gasps she pleaded, “I need… please… fuck me Angel…” She pressed herself away from the pleasure of her Angel’s lips and pressed her soft breasts against his chest. She reached down, taking his length in her hand and running her fingers over the leaking tip.
Aziraphale’s head rocked back and he gasped. It was the first time he had taken his mouth off of her to breathe, and the feeling of pressure around his neglected cock was enough to distract him from the meal he had been making of Crowely’s pussy.
He moaned into her neck. “Yes, Crawley my dear, I do believe that I quite need to be inside of you.” She kissed him deeply as she pressed her body against his, tasting herself on his lips and tangling her fingers in his golden curls. With ease she lined herself up with the head of Azirapahle’s cock and slid her dripping pussy down over his shaft.
“Oh, fuck!” Aziraphale’s eyes rolled back as he was enveloped by hot, wet bliss.
Crawley moved her hips slowly, panting into Aziraphale’s neck, exhausted from hours of coming on her Angel’s face. Aziraphale gripped her back, feeling the tingling sensation beneath her shoulders where her wings fluttered between planes. “I’ve got you, darling.” He whispered as he turned her over to her back, his cock still buried deeply inside of her. He hooked her knees over his arms as his fingers dug into her hips, looking down to watch his cock glisten as it slid in and out of the swollen folds. Her ruby curls were drenched with sweat, saliva, and come.
Aziraphale gazed into Crawley's eyes and whispered, “Look at you, you’re gorgeous.”
Crawley’s eyes stung and she blinked hard, “Looking at you, Angel, is like peering back into the depths of the universe.”
Aziraphale released Crawley’s legs and rested his body on top of her, slowing his thrusts slightly as their lips met. He ground himself against her and she came again, moaning into his mouth. This time, the pulsing around his cock was too much, his bollocks drew up and he grit his teeth as he tried to hold on.
Crawley wrapped a leg around Aziraphale’s back to steady his trembling, “It’s ok, let go, Angel, my good, good, Angel.”
Crawley’s words in hot whispers against Aziraphale’s neck brought him over the edge. His orgasm crashed over him in waves with every slow, deep thrust into Crawley’s tight, pulsing heat. It didn’t take long before he could no longer hold his head up, and he cried out with his face buried in Crowely’s ruby locks. As his body fell heavy, exhausted onto his Demon’s body he shook with every breath, weeping and writhing under her soft hands, his cock pulsing inside of her as she rolled her hips to bring just enough friction to his oversensitive cock.
“My god.” Aziraphale moaned, pressing soft kisses against Crawley’s breasts.
She laughed, “What beautiful blasphemy, Angel. Although, I am quite sure She never made you feel like that.”
Aziraphale smiled, “No, I should say not. Only a certain Demon every century or so.”
Crawley hummed, “Hmmm, I wonder how long it will be this time, wot with Her son ‘n all that.”
Aziraphale sighed and looked toward the window. “Yes, quite. I suppose it is time to get back.”
Crawley nodded and breathed in the scent of Azirapahle, committing it to memory. “Until next time, Angel.”
Aziraphale pressed a soft kiss to Crawley’s temple. “Until next time, my dear.” He raised his hand to snap his fingers, but Crawley took his hand and stopped him.
“Allow me, Angel. We don’t need Gabriel asking about any frivolous miracles.” She snapped her fingers up from below and the two of them were standing in front of the pub, fully clothed like nothing had ever happened. Time had restarted and the streets were bustling with humans going about their day.
Crawley pulled up her hood and sent a two finger wave to Aziraphale, “I suppose I’ll be gettin’ back. I have a meeting planned with Judas.”
Aziraphale cocked his head, “The disciple? Whatever for.”
Crawley looked at her feet, “Don’t you worry about it, Angel. All part of the Plan.”
Aziraphale wrung his hands, “Will you be at the dinner party?”
Crawley shook her head and kicked at the sand. “Naw, I’ll be in Rome I’m afraid.”
Aziraphale’s robe was tangled in his fingers now, his nerves showing, “I see. Well, I suppose I will see you on the big day.”
Crawley hunched her shoulders, “Yea. I suppose we will both be expected to attend.”
Aziraphale nodded and the two of them turned to go opposite directions.
******
“Come to smirk at the poor bugger have you?” A familiar voice came from behind the Angel.
“Smirk? Me?” Aziraphale was surprised at the callused tone in the Demon’s voice, but felt it best to not point it out. He knew this day was equally hard on both of them.
“Well your lot that put him up there.”
“I’m not consulted on policy decisions, Crawley.”
“Oh, I’ve changed it.”
“Changed what?”
“My name. Crawley just wasn’t doing it for me. A bit too ‘squirming-at-your-feet-ish.”
“Well you were a snake. So what is it now? Mephistopheles? Asmodeus?”
The Demon was the one smirking now. She leaned in and whispered in Aziraphale’s ear.
“Now, Angel, you know those particular demons only make humans call out Her name the way I do for you.”
Aziraphale’s smile quickly fled as Jesus cried out in agony again.
“Crowley.” She said between hammer pounds.
Aziraphale ran the name through his mind a few times before humming, “Hmm. Sounds like something that will roll off my tongue quite nicely.”
Crowley closed her eyes, thinking about what else could roll around that Angel’s tongue.
“Well, I suppose telling folks to be kind to one another was the straw that broke the camel’s back?” Aziraphale said as they watched the cross with their friend be lifted and dropped into position.
“That’ll do it.” Crowley agreed, and they watched as Her son fulfilled his part in Her Great Plan.
As night fell the two of them sat in the pub sharing a jug of wine.
“When did you say he would be back?” Crowley asked as she poured another glass.
Aziraphale was already rather drunk and hiccupped, “Three… hic…. Three days I believe.”
“Hmm, well, are you planning on stickin’ around?” Crowley asked.
Aziraphale sat back looking offended, “Well of course I’m… hic…. Planning on sticking around… hic… I’m tasked with announcing the resurrection to his followers.”
Crowley laughed and put up her hand, “Oh, alright, Mr. Important! Well, I am sure he will be happy to see us here together when he wakes up again.”
Aziraphale cocked his head, “What do you mean by that?”
Crowley looked down at the table where she had begun scratching at the wood. “Well, I mean… I know we… I mean… you and me… we are a secret, ya know? But I may have let slip…”
Aziraphale dropped his glass, spilling wine over the grain that Crowley had been picking at, “You what? Oh dear… Crowley… what about… oh my… whatever were you thinking?”
Crowley shushed him, “It’s alright Angel. We can trust him. Who knows, it may come in handy in the future. He said our secret was safe with him. Quite pleased about it actually.”
Aziraphale rested his head down hard on the table, “Oh… I believe I had better sober up, or go to bed.”
Crowley smiled kindly, “I don’t think sobering up sounds very good tonight. C’mon Angel, I’ll take you to bed.”
The two of them stumbled up the stairs to Crowley’s room. She laid her very drunk, and extremely sad Angel down on the soft pillows and laid down next to him. She wrapped her long limbs around him like a constrictor and felt his tense muscles finally relax.
“Oh Crowley, it was all so horrible.” Aziraphale sobbed into her chest.
“Shhh, Angel. I know. Me too. It’ll be alright.”
Crowley squeezed her eyes closed and shuddered a breath. She pressed her lips to Aziraphale’s temple and the two of them fell asleep in each other’s arms for the next two days, until they were forced to go back to work for their respective sides, pretending to barely know each other, to be hereditary enemies. The only solace was that the two of them were assigned to Earth together. They would always find each other, could always count on each other. Unbeknownst to their respective sides, they were a team. A group of the two of them, even though it was a closely guarded secret. Every chance they got they would spend nights together, wrapped together in arms, legs, and lost in the pleasure of each other, forgetting that they were on opposite sides, if only for a moment, with only the two of them and a certain Messiah in charge of ending the world a few hundred years later, knowing about it.