Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Let’s talk about Joe’s personality! 

- Generally, Joe comes off as a kind and gentle person. 

- Joe’s a rather calm and chill person to be around.

- He’s very delusional confident in himself.

- Very resilient, can and kinda has bounced from anything.

- He’s not shy per se, just introverted and awkward. 

- Gets shocked and flustered when people genuinely compliment him.

- Naturally nicer towards women and people he deems “younger” than him. 

- Weirdly protective of younger boxers.

- Kind of a dumbass, but still has a little self-awareness. Like, he does have the ability to giggle at himself for being a dumbass.

- Despite those, Joe has a lot of vices.

- Joe is as blunt as a hammer and shockingly sassy. 

     - Super Macho Man: Oh, THESE sunglasses? You can't afford THESE sunglasses.
     - Glass Joe: Chad, shut zhe fuck up. We do not care about your overpriced eye protection.
     - Super Macho Man: YOU SHUT UP, FRENCHIE! YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!
     - Glass Joe, looking at his nails: ‘onestly, not really. Non.

- He’s also stubborn as a bull. Everything has to be his way or there will be problems.

- Joe can come off as whiny and argumentative, but he sees himself as a more “doesn’t take shit from anyone” type of guy.

-Highkey a snob, not a big one, but still.

- Very independent, does not like asking for help.

- Doesn’t like most of the boxers in the WVBA.

- Usually a calm person, but can get real petty and vindictive if someone really pisses him off personally. He will plan for weeks plotting someone’s downfall, or he’ll just straight up tase them (yes, he owns a taser).

- Really insecure about the fact that he’s a total flop. But he hides it under a mask of confidence.

Ok, now for some general headcanons.

- Takes really good care of his hair and skin.

- Has a really high pain tolerance.

-Has a lot of nerve damage from 20 years of boxing.

- Has Ataxia, which means Joe has some fucked up coordination and balance.

- Possibly neurodivergent. 

- Addicted to caffeine. 

- Lactose intolerant, but still eats cheese.

- Insomniac. 

- Nearsighted. Wears contacts most of the time, doesn’t really like wearing glasses.

-Does not want to stop boxing (contrary to what his NES incarnation says).

- Does not know how to pose for photos, always ends up looking like a wild animal that just got caught by a flash from a camera. 

- Extremely patriotic. 

- Smells of cigarettes and fancy cologne. 

- Really into baking and cooking, will sometimes make stuff for the other boxers.

- Loves his mom with all his heart <3

- Bi icon💅✨

- Has a shockingly good gaydar.

- Is a father to 2 kids! A 15 year old boy also called Joseph (Joe just calls him Joey for short) and a 9 year old girl called Juliette. 

- Divorced and misses his kids :(

- Has no spice tolerance.

- Favourite colour is dark orange (idk he just gives me those vibes).

- LOVES classic French literature and romance novels.

- Joe’s also just an art nerd.

- He likes to sketch sometimes, doesn’t like showing anyone his art though.

- I feel like he’d become a museum tour guide or something if he quit boxing.

- Has a very loyal fanbase (in universe)

- Bread gremlin, just really fucking loves bread, but we already know that.

- Doesn't take care of himself that well, but he feels sad when he sees someone else not taking care of themselves.

- Has a really nice singing voice, but he's self-conscious about singing infront of people.

- Gets really soft and lovey-dovey when he's drunk.

- Has a stylish fashion sense.

- Both a cat and a dog person. Just really likes soft and small creatures.

- Gives surprisingly good hugs.

- He bites his nails.

Chapter Text

Little Mac: 👍

Y/N: “Does that mean you’re cool with my sexuality?”

Little Mac: *nods*

~~~

Glass Joe: “Oh, don’t worry. I know.”

Y/N: “What?”

Glass Joe: “Euh, quoi?”

Y/N: “I-I haven’t told anyone I was *insert sexuality here* . How did you know?”

Glass Joe: “Seriously? Look at yourself!” He looks you up and down “Look at your clothes, look at your ‘air, look at ze way you stand! No straight person looks like zat. But don’t be scared, I support you.” He smiles warmly

~~~

Von Kaiser: “Okay?”

Y/N: “... You don’t care that I’m *insert sexuality here* ?”

Von Kaiser: “Nien? Your preference does not affect me, so vhy should I care?”

~~~

*if you come out as gay*

Disco Kid: *gasp* “Gorl…” he grabs your hands “Me too!”

*if you come out as lesbian*

Disco Kid: “Okay, go gorl. Good on you!”

~~~

King Hippo: He gives you some affirmative rumbles and nods.

~~~

Piston Honda: “I see. I might not understand, but I still respect you.”

~~~

Bear Hugger: “Hi gay/a lesbian, I’m Teddy! Hehahaha!”

Y/N: You start laughing too, but you facepalm. “Seriously?”

Bear Hugger: “I couldn’t resist. But seriously, thanks for tellin’ me.”

~~~

Great Tiger: *tilts his head* “... And?”

Y/N: “That’s it. I’m a lesbian/gay.”

Great Tiger: “That’s it?” *he shrugs with an unamused expression* “Okay then.”

~~~

Don Flamenco: “Hm, it’s about time you told someone…” (He says that in a mildly disappointed tone if you’re a lesbian, but in a slightly interested tone if you’re gay.)

~~~

*if you come out as gay*

Aran Ryan: “... So, yer not inta girls, like?”

Y/N: “Yes… That’s how being gay works.”

Aran Ryan: He stares at you with a mildly confused expression, before smirking. “Are ye seein’ anybody?”

*if you come out as lesbian*

Aran Ryan: “I knew ye were a dyke! Donnie owes me a fiver!”

Y/N:  D:

Aran Ryan: he chuckles and ruffles your hair “I’m jus’ messin’ with ya, lezz- I mean, lassie!”

~~~

Soda Popinski: “What?”

Y/N: “You know, I’m attracted 

Soda Popinski: “Ah, okay!”

Y/N: “... Sooo,

Soda Popinski: *shrugs* “Nyet, I do not mind that you a gay/les-bean.”

~~~

Bald Bull: “I don’t care.”

~~~

*if you come out as gay*

Super Macho Man: “Ew, you don't like, have a crush on me, right?”

Y/N: “No?”

Super Macho Man: *dramatically and angrily inhales* “WHY NOT?!”

*if you come out as lesbian*

Super Macho Man: “That’s hot.” (You can’t tell if he’s being supportive or just sexualising you)

~~~

Mr Sandman: “Why are ya tellin’ me this?”

Y/N: “Because I trust you.”

Mr Sandman: “... Well, I appreciate you trustin’ me enough to tell me this. I don’t see ya any differently now.”

~~~

Doc Louis: “You are? I knew it! You always seemed a lil fruity, hahahaha! Nah, but seriously, kid, thanks for telling me. I’ll always support ya, no matter what.” he pats your back

Chapter Text

• His real name is Hans Kaiser. He picked the stage name Von Kaiser because it sounded cool, badass, and respectable. 
• Hans has Torrettes. His most common tics are clicking his tongue, clearing his throat, and just general body jerks.
• Started boxing professionally when he was in his mid-ish-20s.
• Hans gave Joe a taser for his birthday.
• Extremely deadpan when he isn’t in the ring. 
• Takes a lot of things literally. 
• Emotionally constipated.
• Very stoic, but can’t handle embarrassment. 
• Introverted. 
• Has a mechanical leg. Had his leg amputated from the mid-thigh down. He doesn’t like talking about it.
• Hans also is really into mechanics. He really likes welding, repairing stuff, and messing about with machines. 
• Gay, but in massive denial about it.
• Used to crossdress when he was younger, doesn’t do it that often anymore, but still enjoys it.
• Very routine-oriented, 
• Wakes up very early, like at 4-5 AM.
• Dog person.
• Likes crossword puzzles.
• Very direct.
• Knows how to play the trumpet. 
• Total clean freak. 
• Not a fan of physical affection.
• Very sensitive to loud noises.
• Is shocked when people do nice things for him.
• Can come off as mean, but Hans doesn’t think so.
• His sneezes are extremely loud.
• Does not like being lazy, always has to be doing something. 
• Finds the sound of ticking clocks very comforting.
• Knows morse code.
• Perfectionist. 
• Very sharp memory.
• Goes to therapy. 
• Most of Hans’ family is dead, including his wife.
• Wants to have kids, but knows he isn’t ready because of his trauma and lack of a partner.
• Strict on his students, but takes care of them to the best of his abilities. 
• If Hans is hanging out with the other boxers and he’s having a good time, he’ll murmur “Ich brauchte das …” (I needed this…) under his breath while smiling.

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Little Mac: Only child.

Glass Joe: Only child.

Von Kaiser: Had an older brother named Ludwig but he died of pneumonia when he was 25.

Disco Kid: Has a younger 17-year-old brother named Kaleb and a younger 14-year-old sister named Aaliyah.

King Hippo: Has three younger "heirs to his throne”, no one knows their names or ages.

Piston Hondo: Only child.

Bear Hugger: Has a younger 29-year-old brother named Benjamin.

Great Tiger: Has an older 34-year-old brother named Kalidas and a younger 24-year-old sister named Priti.

Don Flamenco: Has two older 26-year-old twin sisters named Bianca and Isabela.

Aran Ryan: Has an older 25-year-old brother named Conor, a slightly older twin sister named Ashling, a younger 18-year-old brother named Rowan, a younger 15-year-old named Liam, and a younger 9-year-old sister named Evelyn.

Soda Popinski: Had a younger brother named Sergei, but he drowned when he was 10.

Bald Bull: Only child.

Super Macho Man: Only child.

Mr Sandman: Has a younger 29-year-old half-brother named James and a younger 27-year-old half-sister named Marilyn.

Doc Louis: Doc Louis: Had an older brother named Abraham who died in a motorcycle accident when he was 38. Has a younger 46-year-old sister named Toni.

Gabby Jay: Has a younger 53-year-old brother named Édouard who is also Joe’s father, but he went missing 30 years ago.

Piston Hurricane: Has a younger 22-year-old sister named Vivian and another younger 20-year-old sister named Luna.

Bob Charlie: Only child.

Dragon Chan: Only child.

Masked Muscle: Has an older 33-year-old brother named Enrique, an older 31-year-old sister named Daniela, a younger 27-year-old brother named Mateo, and a younger 25-year-old sister named Marisol.

Heike Kagero: Has a younger 6-year-old sister named Miyuki.

Narcis Prince: Has a slightly younger twin sister named Caterina.

Hoy Quarlow: Only child.

Rick & Nick Bruiser: Nick is 36, Rick is 26, and they don’t have any other siblings.

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• Real name is Jamal Parker. Got the nickname Disco Kid because of his lifelong obsession with disco music.
• Calls everyone “gurl” regardless of gender.
• Absolutely GODLY at rhythm games.
• Friends with Little Mac.
• Like to crossdress and… probably not totally cisgender.
• 🏳️‍🌈 but also 🖤🩶🤍💜
• He’s also probably not neurotypical. (I knowww, I’m 3 for 3 with the neurodivergent headcanons 😭)
• His body is always weirdly shimmery. 
• 1# Woman Respector.
• The most extroverted out of the Minor Circuit.
• Thinks of boxing as more of a fun side gig than an actual job.
• Jamal is a university student. He is majoring in Performing Arts with a minor in childcare. 
• Really good with kids. To me, he gives fun older brother energy. 
• He wants to open his own summer camp when he gets older.
• Really likes “gay pop”, like Madonna, Donna Summers, RuPaul, Cher, Kylie Minogue, Lady GaGa, etc.
• He also likes TLC and Destiny's Child.
• Is an amazing singer. 
• Rich kid, but he’s not a douchebag.
• Smells like some sort of Lush body spray.
• Surprisingly good with fixing machines and stuff.
• Von Kaiser is extremely jealous of Jamal, for mostly obvious reasons. 
• Has a fashion sense that is straight out of the 70s.
• Has some minor hearing issues from constantly blaring loud music.
• Knows how to DJ.
• Was very popular back in high school.
• Always very positive. 
• Has a lot of mixtapes.
• Wears Heelys.
• Cannot stand cold weather.
• Decent at rollerskating.
• Can’t do any task without music.
• Doesn’t have very good spatial awareness.
• Will challenge others to dance-offs at random.
• Drinks a lot of iced coffee.
• Very flexible. Sometimes uses it to playfully freak out the other boxers.
• Can jump weirdly high.
• Has no enemies, a friend to all.

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Chapter Text

• I don’t even think he’s human tbh. I’m not sure what he is, but he ain’t human.
• Rarely speaks English, but when he does, he speaks it shockingly well.
• Has a 6th sense for knowing when food has gone bad.
• He’s also immune to food poisoning.
• Likes brutal death metal, or any music genre with growly vocals. Hippo always likes hearing humans growl.
• Smells like tropical fruit and ocean water.
• Is physically incapable of growing hair.
• Pretty much only wears Hawaiian shirts with plain/band t-shirts below when he isn’t shirtless.
• Surprisingly nice and wholesome. 
• Friends with Glass Joe, Von Kaiser and Disco Kid, or at least he thinks they are.
• Has that dark brown thing around his eyes to protect his eyes from the intense sun.
• Is a really good cook.
• Likes it when others explain their culture.
• Surprisingly blunt and direct. 
• Loves rubber ducks (for some reason).
• Will sleep anywhere and on anything except on a mattress.
• Almost immune to alcohol because he’s so big.
• Likes pineapple on pizza.
• Can throat sing.
• Hates people touching his crown.
• Doesn't need to brush his teeth.
• Cannot type on a keyboard at all.
• Is very afraid of heights.
• Has very thick skin, but it’s thinner around his belly.
• Very good swimmer. 
• Has a (in-universe) fanbase of mostly kids.
• Severely dislikes overprocessed junk food.
• Has a shocking amount of knowledge on the law.
• Sometimes eats scented candles (as a lil treat :3)
• Has a wife and kids and would massacre a village for them.
• Hippo can make a bangin’ smoothie.
• Can hold his breath for a really long time.
• Can run surprisingly fast, but he looks really funny when he does it.
• Hippo can swallow an entire watermelon whole.

Chapter Text

Little Mac: Yes. Mac has the innocent eyes of someone who has never strugged with sleep in their life.

Doc Louis: Possibly not? It's a toss-up between whether Doc has dark circles or just hyperpigmentation.

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• His real name is Akeshi Honda.
• Aroace. (Sorry, I just don’t see him being attracted to anybody).
• Akeshi is a little socially awkward and can come off as off-putting to some people.
• He’s still a nice, good guy though.
• The BEST fucking cook out of everybody.
• Donates most of the earnings from his fights to charities. 
• Drinks a lot of tea, specifically matcha (he was doing it before it was cool, okay?).
• Used to have really long hair when he was younger. Sometimes he wishes he still had long hair.
• Akeshi was also part of a biker gang when he was a teenager. He never did anything bad though.
• Besties with Von Kaiser, Bear Hugger, and Great Tiger.
• Closetted weeb. Has a massive manga and anime figurine collection.
• His favourite series are Sailor Moon, Nana, Death Note, and Madoka Magica.
• Animals are naturally attracted to him.
• Likes bird watching, his favourite type of birds are water birds like herons, egrets, ibises, etc.
• Likes to hang out with people older than him because he finds them more chill.
• Extremely polite. 
• Takes a lot of English phrases literally.
• Akeshi’s favourite colour is black.
• Loves to go to bookstores.
• Refuses to swear.
• Really good at painting.
• Can play a Koto. 
• He’s interested in cosplay, but doesn’t have the guts to do it.
• Walks really fast.
• Really good at chess.
• He’s weirdly interested in cars (and has heard all the “Hondo” jokes about him under the sun.)
• Not the biggest fan of hugs.
• Really likes praying mantises for some reason.
• Used to write fanfics when he was young.
• Akeshi has a small garden of herbs he likes to tend to.
• Shockingly good at swimming.
• Always dresses really fancily. 
• Akeshi acts very unphased with Aran’s tricks and Aran hates him for it.
• Loves going to hot springs.
• Has a phobia of elevators.
• Secretly likes Hatsune Miku.
• Occasionally writes poems and short stories.
• Likes koi ponds and zen gardens.
• Very organised. Gets disturbed when he sees messy/disorganised living/working spaces.
• You know what? Screw it. BRO. IS. AUTISTIC!!!

Chapter Text

Glass Joe: 

• Sweat 
• Cigarette 
• Red Wine
• Coffee
• Bread 

Von Kaiser:

• Sweat 
• Tobacco
• Smoke
• Leather
• Wood 

Disco Kid: 

• Jasmine 
• Lemon 
• Sweat 
• Candies 
• Milky Coffee

King Hippo:

• Meat 
• Sea Water
• Banana
• Mango
• Watermelon 

Piston Hondo:

• Mint Tea
• Sandalwood  
• Old Books
• Cherry Blossom
• Ink 

Bear Hugger: 

• Sweat
• Animal Notes
• Maple Syrup
• Oak 
• Pine Tree

Great Tiger: 

• Incense 
• Indian Spices
• Sweat
• Stardust 
• Animal Notes

Don Flamenco :

• Rose
• Sweat
• Soap
• Hair Pomade
• Whiskey 

Aran Ryan:

• Sweat 
• Mud 
• Blood
• Beer
• Cocaine 

Soda Popinski:

• Sweat
• Ice
• Lemon Soda
• Orange Soda
• Coca-Cola

Bald Bull:

• Fire
• Sweat
• Tobacco
• Woody Notes
• Spicy Notes

Super Macho Man:

• Money 
• Gold
• Sea Water
• Sand 
• Margarita 

Mr. Sandman:

• Sweat
• Leather
• Smoke 
• Spicy Notes
• Liquor 

Chapter Text

• Real name is Edward Mathers (no one calls him Edward unless it’s professional/legal business). He chose the name “Bear Hugger” because he was always called “Teddy” or “bear” growing up, and he just really loves bears, hugs, and bear hugs.
• Bear first worked as a carpenter before he became a boxer.
• Straight up eats raw fish live like a sandwich. 
• Is the definition of a “dad friend”. He will always make sure that all his friends are okay.
• Can communicate with animals (ya man’s a Disney princess).
• Straight, but very supportive of his queer friends. He will beat the shit out of a homophobe if you tell him to.
• Bear will also beat someone up if they litter.
• Has narcolepsy.
• Bear is very affectionate. He loves giving hugs to people, and he will always squeeze really hard, give hard pats on the back, or pick the person up when he does.
• Has freckles all over his skin.
• Bear can make a mean stew and delicious pancakes.
• Is fluent in French, always catches Joe off guard. 
• Loves to make bad jokes just to make others groan.
• Immune to the cold, 
• Would be a park ranger or a veterinarian if he weren’t a boxer.
• Bear can play banjo.
• Besties with Hondo.
• Likes his showers really cold.
• Weirdly good at photography.
• Likes Disney movies.
• Smells like animal and tree.
• Knows how to beekeep.
• Loves visiting farmers markets.
• Does not like people gossiping.  Always tunes out Tiger’s and Don’s 
• Loves fishing. He loves doing it both the human way and the bear way.
• Favourite genre of music is country. 
• Bear grows his own food.
• Has a big truck that he takes really good care of.
• Bear has always eaten raw meat and stuff. He’s basically immune to food poisoning.
• Unironically has a “women love me, fish fear me” hat.
• Makes outfits for his animal friends.
• Very good at woodworking.
• Favourite holiday is Christmas. He takes it very seriously.
• Bear loves camping. Probably has taken some of the boxers on camping trips before.
• Wants to run an animal shelter one day.
• Just a generally really nice guy to be around :)

Chapter Text

Little Mac:

• Sweat 
• Linen
• Mint
• Metallic Notes
• Lemon 

Doc Louis:

• Dark Chocolate
• Chocolate Sauce
• Wool 
• Sweat
• Metallic Notes

Referee:

• Liquor
• Coffee
• Woody Notes
• Amber 
• Sweat 

Carmen:

• Rose
• Peony
• Raspberry
• Cotton Candy
• Champagne Rosé 

Lucinda:

• Strawberry
• Carnation 
• Red Wine
• Blood Orange
• Lipstick 

Birdie Mac:

• Sweat
• Metallic Notes
• Mint
• Lemon
• Peanut

Gabby Jay:

• Old person smell
• Sweat
• Cigarette
• French Pastries
• Coffee 

Piston Hurricane:

• Sweat
• Grass  
• Fresh Note
• Rain Notes
• Cuban Cigar

Bob Charlie:

• Sweat
• Banana
• Acai Berry
• Palm Leaf
• Cannabis

Dragon Chan:

• Metallic Notes
• Green Notes
• Smoke
• Soy Sauce
• Pitahaya

Masked Muscle:

• Sweat
• Spicy Notes
• Spandex 
• Cigarette 
• Poison

Heike Kagero:

• Jasmine
• Lavender
• Cherry Blossom
• Lipstick
• Fresh note

Mad Clown:

• Sweat
• Lipstick 
• Face Paint
• Rubber
• Cream

Narcis Prince:

• Lily
• Buttercup
• Amber 
• Wool 
• Sweat 

Hoy Quarlow:

• Old person smell
• Chinese Oud
• Old Books
• Chinese Medicinal Herbs
• Tea 

Rick Bruiser:

• Sweat
• Silver
• Beer
• Spicy Notes
• Meat 

Nick Bruiser:

• Sweat
• Metallic Notes
• Liquor
• Salt 
• Olives 

Mr Dream:

• Electricity 
• Solar Notes
• Stardust
• Moon Flower
• Vanilla 

Challenger:

• Sweat
• Green Notes
• Grass 
• Apple 
• Lime 

Pizza Pasta:

• Sweat
• Pizza
• Cheese
• Hair Pomade
• Flour

Chapter Text

• Real name is Kabir Baagh.
• Has the worst sleep schedule you’ve ever seen.
• Secretly a neko. I mean, think about it; we’ve never seen his ears and we haven’t seen him in anything other than those long pants, he has to be hiding some cat ears and a tail under there. /hj
• Kabir is really into crystals. Not even in a particularly magic sense, he just thinks they’re pretty.
• Favourite colour is emerald green or orange-y amber. 
• MASSIVE introvert.
• Kabir has a naturally more higher pitched voice, which he’s very insecure about.
• Good friends with Don and they gossip together regularly. 
• Has very cursive and fancy handwriting.
• Kabir is very sarcastic.
• I think he’s ace, idk I just don’t think he’d care for the boomshakalaka.
• Some sort of descendant from a god, his whole family has magic powers.
• His clones all have unique personalities. 
• Has secretly written diss tracks about the other boxers.
• Loves Bollywood films.
• Has a pet tiger back in India he loves with all his heart.
• Sleeps in a tiger onesie.
• Can sing really well.
• Massive hip-hop fan.
• Kabir is OBSESSED with felines, not just tigers. His whole place is decked out with cat stuff and when anyone comes over he’s like “What? I just really like cats.”
• Whenever there’s like, a street performer or a “magician” doing a show, Kabir likes to fuck with the performer by using actual magic.
• Loves to dance.
• Has chronic migraines.
• Kabir actually really likes paparazzi, but will teleport away from them once he’s overstimulated. 
• Extremely (physically) flexible.
• Loves seafood.
• Has a lot of succulents. 
• Loves tea. Does not like coffee.
• Kabir can do a perfect cat meow. It freaks out the other boxers.
• Zones out a lot.
• Acts out pretend scenarios with his clones.
• Uses a lot of hand gestures when talking.
• Speaks a bit of Latin.
• Very good at math.
• Posts some unhinged stuff on Twitter, like Cher.
• Hates when people call his magic “tricks”.
• R.I.P. Great Tiger, you have loved Little Kitty, Big City.

Chapter Text

Little Mac: 

• Wears a random tank top, a random pair of shorts (not the ones he fights/trains in), and a pair of cozy socks.
• Goes to bed at about 11 PM. Usually takes a quick shower, does some stretches, and takes some painkillers before going to bed… if he doesn’t pass out immediately once he gets to his room.
• His bed is normal, but prefers more light sheets.
• Most of the time, Mac is pretty tired at the end of the day, so he falls asleep quickly and easily.
• Sleeps with arms and legs splayed out, like a starfish.
• Snores quietly, but drools quite a bit.

Doc Louis:

• Wears a baggy t-shirt with a corny print on it and sweatpants.
• Normally goes to sleep around the same time as Mac.
• Normal bed condition.
• Falls asleep fairly easily.
• Sleeps on his back with his hands on his belly.
• Snores really loudly, almost does the “auuugh” snore.
• Won’t bother the person he’s sleeping next to too much, aside from his snoring. Enjoys cuddling.

Glass Joe: 

• Actually wears that honk shoo fit. You know, this one.
• Joe doesn’t really have a good sense of time, so he forgets when to go to sleep until well into the night. Once he realises it’s time for bed, he’ll put on his PJs, do his skincare routine, brush his hair, and sometimes sketch/draw something. 
• Sleeps with his collection of plushies and his little dog Cleo. 
• He has some form of insomnia, so it does take him a while to get to sleep. 
• Lays on his side with one arm wrapped around his chest. 
• Sleeps like a sickly Victorian child; He stays totally still and breathes really quietly. 
• Will sleep with his back turned to the person he’s sleeping with (I'm gonna say “sleeping partner" from this point on for brevity’s sake) the whole night. Doesn’t mind cuddling.

Von Kaiser:

• Wears those long, white and blue striped mens pyjamas. 
• Always goes to bed at 8 PM sharp. Does a crossword while drinking some tea before bed.
• Needs to have a firm mattress and firm pillows.
• It takes him a little bit to go to sleep.
• Lays flat on his back with his limbs straight.
• Snores and sometimes sleep-talks, he also tosses and turns.
• Aside from his loud ass snoring and occasional weird noises, he doesn’t bother his sleeping partner that much. He only likes to cuddle with the ones he really trusts.

Disco Kid: 

• Wears a random goofy ahh t-shirt with some equally goofy ahh undies.
• Goes to bed at 11 PM-12 AM. 
• Likes his bed nice and soft, and with a lot of pillows. Also needs white noise to sleep.
• Disco has no problems with going to sleep.
• Sleeps in strange, almost whimsical positions, like he’s in a renaissance painting (he’s just like me frfr). 
• Moderate snoring volume, but he also sings in his sleep. Also moves around a lot in his sleep.
• If someone is sleeping next to Disco, they will be pushed to the very edge of the bed. He’s fine with cuddling.

King Hippo:

• Only wears his boxers to sleep.
• Will go to sleep as soon as it gets dark. 
• Will NOT sleep on a bed, he finds them uncomfortable and he doesn't fit in them. Sleeps on hammocks and on carpets with a pillow.
• It depends on how much he ate that day. The more he eats, the better he sleeps.
• Sleeps on his back with his arms in odd positions.
• Loud snoring that sounds like growling.
• Sleeping alongside King Hippo can be rather uncomfortable to most people; first of all, they'd have to bring their blankets and stuff because of the floor thing. Second, even if one does manage to go to sleep, they still run the risk of getting squashed by Hippo himself. He will let someone sleep on his belly if he finds them worthy enough.

Piston Hondo:

• Wears long sleeve pyjamas, sometimes with some anime shit on it.
• Goes to sleep at exactly 10 PM. Reads and journals before going to sleep.
• Normal bed condition.
• Almost immediately goes to sleep once his head hits the pillow.
• Sleeps on his back with his arms folded.
• Snores, tosses and turns a lot, and is also prone to sleepwalking.
• Hondo's sleeping partner may get pushed around and may be subjected to his sleepwalking weirdness. He's not the most physically affectionate guy, so he's not that big on cuddling.

Bear Hugger: 

• Does not wear anything when he sleeps. Says it makes him too hot.
• Goes to bed really late at night. Usually just comes home as quietly as possible, cleans himself up, and slides into bed next to his wife.
• Needs to have another person/being in the bed with him (or with him in the room) or he won't sleep comfortably.
• Falls asleep pretty much immediately.
• Sleeps on his back or on his side with his hands on his stomach and his head tilted back.
• As seen in the game; he snores loudly and sometimes talks in his sleep.
• His snoring is rather loud and he tosses a bit, so he might keep his sleeping partner awake. Really likes cuddling.

Great Tiger: 

• Wears a tiger onesie.
• Like Joe, Tiger just… forgets what time it is until he’s like “oh yeah, I have to go to bed.” He just sorta goes to bed whenever he feels like it.
• Doesn’t care about the condition of his bed, as long as it’s not too messed up.
• Takes a little bit for him to sleep.
• Sleeps curled up, like a cat. 
• Snores quietly. Sometimes casts spells during his sleep, but most of the time he’s just floating/rotating in his sleep.
• Will mostly ignore his sleeping partner, unless he bothers them with his sleep magic. Not the biggest fan of cuddling.

Don Flamenco :

• Wears short silk pyjamas with a matching eyemask. 
• Goes to bed at around 12-1 AM. Does his skincare routine and texts his current partner before going to bed.
• Likes light blankets, doesn’t really like thick blankets.
• Doesn’t take him that long to go to sleep.
• Sleeps like a damsel in distress.
• Snores very quietly and daintily. Also is a light sleeper.
• Don will hog the blanket. Is fine with cuddling.

Aran Ryan:

• Also only wears his boxers to sleep.
• Has one of the least consistent sleep schedules out of everybody (aside from Tiger.) His bedtime routine consists of him stripping off his clothes, getting into bed and planning how he’s gonna be a menace to society tomorrow.
• Sleeps in a literal nest of pillows and sheets (it’s a mess). He also pretty much only sleeps under wool blankets, for nostalgic personal reasons. 
• It takes him a few minutes to get to sleep since his mind is constantly racing with thoughts.
• Sleeps curled in the middle of his nest, sometimes holding a pillow.
• Snores loudly, drools everywhere, and everything that can fall off the bed will fall off by the time he's awake.
• Aran will try to make his bed look more… normal if he knows someone is coming over. He will either boot his sleeping partner off the bed, or cling to them for dear life while squishing them with his body.

Soda Popinski:

• Does not care about pyjamas, just wears whatever he was wearing during the day to bed.
• Goes to bed late, at like 3 AM. Normally just flops into bed and goes to sleep without doing anything else.
• Doesn’t care about the condition of his bed, as long as it’s not too messed up.
• It doesn’t take long for him to go to sleep.
• Sleeps on his belly with his hand on one of his soda bottles.
• Sucks on his thumb when he’s out cold. Also grumbles a little when asleep.
• Doesn’t bother his sleeping partner. Is fine with cuddling, but doesn’t like doing it for too long, because he gets too hot.

Bald Bull:

• Only wears his boxers to sleep, but will sometimes wear a bull onesie.
• Roughly goes to sleep at 1 AM. 
• Normal bed condition.
• Takes him a while for him to sleep, whether it be from memories or the paparazzi.
• Sleeps curled up.
• Snores like like a mofo, but also a very light sleeper (basically this video sometimes)
• There’s a good chance he will violently kick his sleeping partner off the bed. Only cuddles with someone if he really trusts them.

Super Macho Man:

• Wears a silk robe and nothing else.
• Goes to bed very late at night. He comes home from a party, takes a bath, does his skincare routine, and obsessively checks himself on social media before bed.
• Needs a large bed, hates sleeping on a small bed.
• Falls asleep fairly easily.
• Sleeps like he’s trying to look like a Greek statue. 
• Whistles and talks in his sleep.
• Will hog the bed. Doesn’t like cuddling with people.

Mr. Sandman:

• Wears those long, white and blue striped mens pyjamas as well, but with an eyemask.
• Goes to sleep at 2-3 AM. He takes a cold shower and listens to some podcasts before going to bed.
• Normal bed condition.
• Actually takes him a bit to go to sleep, because he has insomnia. 
• Sleeps on his back, like a rock.
• His snore is deafening and also a heavy sleeper. 
• Aside from his loud ass snoring, he doesn’t bother his sleeping partner that much. He doesn’t mind his sleeping people cuddling him. 

Chapter Text

• Real name is Rafael Donato Santiago Figueroa.
• Has Misophonia. He feels rather enraged and distressed when he hears people eating too loud or other wet mouth sounds.
• Has a sensitive stomach and is a total picky eater.
• Bisexual ✨️
• Extrovert for sure.
• Rafael is not a drama queen, he is the queen of drama. Can and will bitch and moan about ANYTHING.
• Nosy sonofabitch. Do NOT let Rafael catch wind of any potential drama you might have, because it will be all over the WVBA in a few days.
• Rafael’s favourite colour is red (duh).
• Half his wardrobe is floral button up shirts.
• MANWHORE.
• Rafael really loves telenovelas.
• Really good at cooking.
• Wears makeup regularly.
• Insists his eyes are hazel/amber when they’re actually just brown.
• Rafael is nice, but kinda comes off as mean (mostly unintentionally).
• Angry crier.
• Loves swimming.
• Really good at gardening. He is a plant dad and has is own flower garden back in Spain.
• Is an amazing dancer (obviously).
• Naturally flirty.
• Rafael has a 20 step skincare routine.
• Drinks a lot of fruity cocktails.
• Collects perfumes and colongues.
• Has some form of Scoliosis.
• Takes long and hot showers.
• Rafael is very good at singing and plays guitar sometimes.
• Can walk in heels. He’s girlypop like that.
• Rafael likes to be shirtless most of the time. Not even as like a manwhore thing, it’s mostly a sensory thing.
• Favourite season is Summer.
• Autistic (undiagnosed).
• Loves red velvet desserts.
• Hates cold weather.
• Rafael’s guilty pleasure is romance novels.

Chapter Text

"Honestly, good for you. People suck.”: Glass Joe, Great Tiger

"I. DON'T. CARE.": Von Kaiser, Bald Bull, Mr Sandman

"idrk what that means, but i support u <3": Disco Kid, King Hippo, Bear Hugger, Soda Popinski

"Wait... That's an option??": Piston Hondo

"Whaa?? But how can you live without sex/romance?!": Don Flamenco, Aran Ryan

"Challenge accepted ;)": Super Macho Man

Chapter Text

• His name actually is Aran O‘Ryan.
• Poooosibly inbred…
• Schizophrenic and has ADHD.
• I feel like Aran is either very cagey and standoffish with his sexuality, or very loud n proud about it. And he’s either gay or pan, but he doesn’t put a label on it.
• Had some trouble gaining weight when he was younger because of genetics.
• Has a very strong immune system because he got sick all the time when he was a kid.
• Bites popsicles.
• Definitely drank when he was underage.
• Will call people slurs.
• Always has a very messy living space. Aran’s favourite alcohol is Guinness (duh), but also likes fruity, more “feminine” drinks.
• Has a really good sense of taste.
• When he was a young teenager, Aran had long hair. One day, it got caught on some farming equipment and got a lot of it ripped out. This lowkey scarred him for life, so now he cuts his own hair and is weird around other people messing with it.
• Oh yeah, and he chose that specific fuckass hairstyle because he still wants it to be long, but also does want it “in the way” of anything.
• Really appreciates his fans.
• Good friends with Soda Popinski.
• Collected bottle caps when he was younger.
• Loves Pitbulls and had one growing up.
• Aran has a massive soft spot for little kids (but not in a sus way, in a brotherly/paternal way).
• Is really bad at reading peoples tones of voice (I’m not projecting, you’re projecting >:().
• Aran likes to graffiti and is honestly not that bad an artist.
• Has a few piercings.
• Does not stop making deez nuts jokes.
• Uses a fuckton of hair gel.
• Aran smells really weird. Like, it’s a mix of hair gel, general man stank, alcohol, mud, illegal substances and some metallic undertones (it’s unknown whether it’s from horseshoes or blood).
• He bites people as a way of showing that he really likes them.
• Doesn’t really know what religion he believes in.
• Most of his pants are ripped.
• Swears like a sailor.
• Aran is a lot more calm and chill when he’s drunk, believe it or not.
• Is a really good dancer.
• An insanely fast runner.
• His body is always really warm (he’s a big soft space heater ^ω^).
• Caffeine does not affect Aran for some reason.
• Is really superstitious when it comes to luck.
• Types with absolutely atrocious grammar.
• Does not have a good memory.
• Aran doesn’t really take care of himself that well.
• Secretly really touch starved but would never admit it.
• Aran grew up on a sheep farm, so stuff made from wool is weirdly nostalgic for him.
• Has Pica.
• His humor has not evolved since he was 13.
• Used to trespass onto building sites when he was a boy.
• Aran cannot sit in a chair correctly.
• Gets sunburnt really easily.
• Will eat anything and everything, he’s a literal garbage guts.
• Absolutely terrorises people in any game with an online feature.
• Aran likes to smack bald people’s heads.
• Dresses in a kind of a punkish way.
• Extrovert.
• Has a homoerotic frenemy-ship with Don Flamenco.
• Aran loves getting tickled.
• His music taste consists of old Irish country music and 90s rock/metal.
• Loves rats.
• Will prank anybody. Does not GAF.
• Really liked football and rugby growning up.
• Fucking HATED school.
• Gets bored really easily.
• Aran believes in the supernatural. Claims he’s seen multiple mythical creatures.
• Does not like black cats :(
• Definitely went to jail before.