Chapter Text
It all started with a stray whiff.
Maya had claimed the desk for herself, spinning around in the chair to appease her boredom. In the meanwhile, seeing as that he was kicked to the curb, Phoenix had taken his clerical work over to the couch. 'Reading case requests', he was supposedly doing - like he actually had some poor schmuck's file in that folder and not the splashy tabloid he bought at 7/11 the other day.
“I think it’s time your best assistant gets a promotion, Nick,” Maya remarked, kicking off the desk to spin herself around some more as her momentum slowed.
“You’re my only assistant, Maya,” Nick drawled, his voice faraway as he only paid her half a mind.
“Yes, which is exactly why you should be more desperate to keep me aboard.” She stopped herself mid spin and slapped her palms against the desk like he did in court. "I demand a raise, in fact!" Pain stung her palms, and she winced, gingerly rubbing them together to soothe them. “Owie...”
Nick shot her a bemused look over the back of the couch. “Not just anyone can do that,” he quipped. "It takes a special skill."
Maya snorted. "It's definitely special, alright."
Nick huffed, shook his head, and faced back forward to set aside the 'file' he was reading. "Har, har. Real funny." He twisted at the waist again and draped an arm over the back of the couch. "Hey, do me a favor? Could you look in the bottom left drawer for-"
“Nope," Maya said.
Nick scowled at the interruption. “Why are you my assistant if you don’t actually do anything?” he kvetched.
"I do plenty! In fact, I wouldn't even limit my talents to the role of 'assistant'. I'm more like co-counsel!"
"You're only co-counsel when you're channeling Mia, though... You don't have a legal degree..."
Maya kicked her legs up, putting her feet on the desk. “Maybe so. But I’m also your friend,” she said sagely, putting a hand over her heart. "You need company beyond reality TV and potted ficuses." She stopped to consider that. "Fici? Whatever the plural of ficus is."
Nick opened his mouth to protest, but paused, then quickly snapped it shut. He sighed and slumped on himself, defeated. “I was about to object and say I had Larry...” he admitted.
Maya snorted. "Way to prove my point."
"Well then, co-counsel. Have you ever considered the Shuddahell Clause?" Nick asked.
"Um. No, what's that?"
"Oh, just the clause where you shuddahell up."
Maya stared at him, utterly unamused. "I swear, your jokes get lamer and lamer every time I come here," she complained.
"Nah, you just walked into that one." Nick even chuckled to himself, the cherry on top. "Ah, 'Shuddahell.' Classic."
Maya harrumphed and grumpily puffed out her cheeks. "It's not 'classic', it sucks."
"That's your opinion. Not my fault your microbe brain can't grasp peak humor." Nick rose from the couch and circled around it to make his way over to her. "Kids these days," he sighed. "Grumble, grumble, grumble..." He made his way around the desk and stopped at her side. He crossed his arms and stared down at her. “Would you please move? I need to grab a file from the stuck drawer."
Maya crossed her arms back and raised her chin. "Make me."
Nick raised an eyebrow at her challenge. "Okay." He reached out and pushed her chair aside, cheap wheels squealing as they rolled.
"Heyyy," Maya whined.
"You said make you. So I did! That means you can't complain." Nick kneeled down beside her and grasped the handle of the bottom left drawer. He tugged on it, but it refused to budge. He grunted and tried to wiggle it out of its slot. “Stupid desk,” he muttered. “Dumb drawer..."
As Nick muttered more obscenities at the drawer, Maya went back to spinning.
She shot out a hand and stopped herself as a faint aroma drifted to her nose. She sniffed at the air.
Nick glanced up, his face crumpling into a confused look. "What are you doing?"
Maya sniffed again. “Do you...” she questioned, “smell something… flowery? Or, no - fruity...?”
Nick blinked up at her. “Um. Nooo...?”
"Are you sure?? 'Cause," Maya waved a hand around her face and sniffed deeply at the air she wafted toward her nose, "I'm definitely getting like..... hyacinths and oranges."
"Hyacinths and orange???" Nick went back to jiggling the drawer. "Is your sniffer broken or something? Because I can't really afford health insurance benefits right now...."
“No, no, I swear, there’s some sort of... aroma in here.” Maya inclined her chin and sniffed again. "I didn't smell it until just now." She leaned this way and that in her chair, trying to follow the direction it was wafting from. Her nose led her to leaning right over Nick.
Maya stared down at his spiky hair. It was just hair, right..? It wouldn't actually jab her...
With a decisive nod, she put a hand on his head to keep him still, then bent down and sniffed his hair, deep and long.
“What the-?!” Nick nearly busted her in the chin, jerking back in surprise. In the same jerk, the sticky drawer slammed open, skewed papers flying out. "Maya! What are you doing??"
“It’s you, Nick!” she exclaimed, pointing at his spikes. “Did you change your shampoo?!"
Nick’s expression changed, bewilderment folding into bug-eyed fear. Huh. “Um... uh...” he stuttered, a bead of sweat forming on his temple. With a shake of his head, he recomposed himself, squaring his chin and staring at her defiantly. “Yeah, okay, you got me. So what?”
Maya pursed her lips and put a hand on her chin. "Why aren't you using that sugar cookie stuff I got for your birthday?"
"I, uh... ran out." Nick bent and collected the papers off of the floor, placed them up on his desk, then went to sift through the files, fingers dancing over manila tabs.
"'Ran out'?" Maya laughed dryly. "I took a sniff of that bottle just this morning. It was still more than half full!"
Nick flinched. “W-well, that’s– I don't think- urgh... um...”
Maya smirked. “Nick. Nicky, Nick-Nick, Niiiiick,” she condescendingly sang. "Are you gonna tell me the reeaal reason you apparently didn't shower at your place last night, or do I have to cross-examine it out of you?"
"You don't have a legal degree, you can't cross-examine me," Nick pointed out, though the bead of sweat at his temple undercut any professional advantage he might've been able to throw around. "Besides, there is no reason, because I didn't shower at anybody's place other than my own!"
"That shower was bone dry when I used it earlier," Maya replied. "Combined with the fact that your porcupine spikes smell all orangey and hyacinthy, when they normally smell like either my sugar cookie stuff or your Man™ shampoo, it's obvious!"
"'Porcupine spikes'?" Nick put a hand over his hair like she wounded it. A beat later, he shot her a puzzled look. "And why do you know what my hair regularly smells like? Weirdo. Freak. Pervert."
Maya pressed on. Name-calling meant she had to be getting close. “If you would just admit it, we could end this!” she accused. "It's so clear you hooked up, so how come you're lying to my face about it!?"
To Nick’s credit, he could keep his cool sometimes. Maybe it was because Edgeworth wasn’t giving him that steel dagger-y glare, or Franziska didn't have her whip uncoiled and ready. “This line of reasoning is completely irrelevant to the task at hand. Irrelevant to anything, because there is no task at hand,” he scoffed, crossing his arms. "You know what we call this in court? Conjecture. You're throwing out wild guesses with inconclusive evidence to back it up. In fact, you have no evidence at all, just a crazy claim!"
"Inconclusive?" Maya squeaked. "How is a direct observation taken with my own nose 'inconclusive'!? You don't go around smelling like flowers on a regular basis - that indicates a noticeable change in habit! Very suspicious, if you ask me."
“Not suspicious at all, actually. I just used a different shampoo." He shrugged at her. "Sorry I didn't use your stuff you got me, if that hurt your feelings, but it's just shampoo, Maya."
"It's not just shampoo!" Maya grumpily puffed up her cheeks, folded her arms tight, and sunk down into her chair. "Why won't you just admit it? You don't need to hide your little girlfriend from me or anything - just come out with it and tell me! But, er, save the sordid details."
Nick squared his jaw. “Maya, honest. I do not have a girlfriend, nor do I want to right now.”
Maya glanced down at his pocket, wishing she had her magatama in hand at that moment.
“Seriously!" Nick threw his hands up. "Why are you being so weird today!?”
“Because!" She stamped her foot. "I wanna knowww!"
“There's nothing to know! And even if there was, it'd be none of your business!!"
“Tell meeee!”
“I plead the fifth." Nick stood, left the drawer open and everything, and marched toward the door.
Maya gaped as she watched him tug on his shoes. “You can’t run from me or the truth, Nick!!”
“Yes I can!” He swiped his keys from the counter, then turned to pull open the door.
Maya cupped her hands around her mouth as he all but fled from the office. “Bring me a burger and maybe I'll drop it!” she shouted.
"No you won't!" he called before he slammed the front door shut.
Now solitary, Maya looked over at Charley the ficus, vibrant and well-tended to. "Don't worry, Char-Char. Mama didn't raise no quitter. We'll get to the bottom of this yet!"
So Nick had a girlfriend.
In hindsight, it seemed glaringly obvious. His usual gold and blue aura had taken on a tinge of sweet pink here lately, like a beautiful steak cooked medium-rare, and he'd been increasingly turning down her requests to hang out for the past few weeks. He seemed lighter, even if he was still just as sarcastic and beleaguered by his foolish clients as always.
Honestly? Good for him. At least now with that girl's flowery shampoo, he smelled actually nice, and not like off-the-rack polyester and desperation. (Okay, that was kind of mean. He didn't smell bad. He even smelled pretty good, actually, like piney aftershave and fabric softener.)
Maya just didn’t understand why he refused to tell her anything about it.
It wasn’t like she was seventeen anymore, with butterflies in her belly whenever he gave her that dimply smile. She was long over that puppy dog crush! He was too much of a dork, and also way old. Besides, she was his best friend! Best friends tell each other everything!
.....don't they?
Sure, maybe she'd tease him a little about it, showering over at some lover's house (and not even hiding it very well!), but that was out of love, never out of actual malice. Of course she'd be stoked for him if he was dating someone. Was he afraid that she wouldn't be...?
The apartment door closed, pulling Maya from her thoughts before they could spiral into doubt.
She turned around and peered over the back of the couch. She brightened as she spotted Nick, two massive, hippy-dippy, reusable shopping totes on each shoulder. “Hey, Nick. How'd it go?” she asked, hopping up to go over and take one from him. It nearly dropped to the floor. "Oof!"
"Yeah. Tell me about it," he wheezed as he kicked the door shut behind him. "It went bad. Spent almost two-hundred bucks, and it feels like I barely even bought anything of substance!"
"Well, that's inflation for ya." She dragged the bag she'd taken over into the kitchen, braced herself, then hoisted it up onto the table. She peered into the bag, rubbing her hands together eagerly, but was disappointed to find only household items. "You got the goods?"
"Yes." Nick paused at the edge of the genkan to toe off his sneakers. He had some difficulty, but he eventually managed to pry them off. He kicked them aside with a grunt and stepped up onto the main level of the apartment.
Maya cheered. "Yes! Thank you, Nick!"
"Yeah, yeah." He staggered over to the scratched up old table and hefted the bags up onto it with a mighty hiiii-yah!. He groaned and rubbed at his shoulders, sore where the handles were digging into him. "Ugh... golly..."
Maya jumped up from the couch and eagerly made her way over, flapping her hands as she hippity-hopped over. "Hee-hee-hee!"
Smiling over at her, Nick started to unpack one of the bags. "Hope you're happy," he grumbled as he pulled out household item after household item; dish soap, tissues, a bottle of toilet cleaner. "I think I'm gonna have to ask for an extension on this month's rent because of your goods." He pulled out a brand new toilet scrubbing brush and pointed it at her accusatorily.
"Oh, pshaw. Don’t be such a drama queen!" Maya hip-checked him out of the way and started to unpack the other bag, which contained the foodstuffs: his boring old man bran flakes, a container of cream cheese, a carton of eggs, a tin of coffee, a netted bag of apples... "Just take on some rich client and you won't have anything to worry about!"
Nick snorted up in his nasals, loud and ugly. "Yeah, okay, sure, Maya. Let me just go outside and pick a rich client off of the rich client tree! Easy, breezy, lemon squeezy."
Maya huffed at his sarcasm. "It's not like there's a shortage of rich criminals around here, Nick. We're twenty minutes away from both tinseltown and the financial district."
"Tempting, but no thanks. I'll let the public pretenders have those." Nick set down the new toilet brush - which he hadn't needed, by the way; the other one had been in fine shape, despite its frequent use - and continued to empty the bag. "You know I like to help people who actually need it, not ones who are just trying to weasel out of the consequences of their actions."
"Then you have no right to-" Maya tossed a box of organic granola bars aside - the crunchy ones that are impossible to break apart, but if you do manage to, they just crumble apart into a million pieces - but promptly froze at what she spotted lying underneath it. "...complain."
Nick looked over at her when she drifted off into silence. His forehead creased at her stiff posture. “You good?”
"Uh, yeah? It's just..." Maya reached into the bag and slowly pulled something out. She turned to face him, wielding a certain box in hand. "...since when do you drink Ceylon tea?"
Nick stared at the box, mouth dropped open. “I... I don’t!” he piped up, too shrill to be normal. "But, uh... I figured I'd... give it a try? Try to expand my tastes."
"But you hate tea!"
"Whaaat? Nooo. Where'd you get that idea?"
"Yes, you do! When I made some a few weeks ago, you said 'this tastes like grass water', then asked for sugar and milk. You know, like a heathen." She held the box up and waved it for emphasis. "You can't just find this stuff in any old grocery store, either - you have to buy it from the eastern marketplace on the northside!"
Nick flinched at the decisive strike. "I-I, uhhh..."
"'I-I, uhhh...'" Maya broke out into laughs, tossing the box at him. "C'mon, Nick! Couldja be more obvious?! You had to go so out of your way to buy this!"
"Ack!" He fumbled the box of tea to his chest and cradled it protectively, glaring at her. "Would you be more careful!? The price on this stuff was outrageous!"
"Oh, I know it had to be," Maya boisterously agreed. "That's because it's imported all the way from Khura'in!"
Nick blinked at her, then down at the box. "Oh. Is it?"
"This brand is, yeah. That's partially why we grow our own supply up in Kurain Village - just so we don't have to deal with that absurdly gouged rate." Maya sniffed haughtily and crossed her arms. "Your lady friend sure has classy taste, Nick. It's just a shame you won't tell me anything else about her.
Nick slumped, groaning with obvious guilt. “Not this again, Maya."
"We might have so much in common - we could be best friends! I mean, we both drink Ceylon tea! That's a good start, if ya ask me!"
"I already told you before: I don't have a girlfriend!"
Maya shot him a sharp, deadpan look.
“Okay, fine, look." Nick gave a defeated sigh. "That tea? It's actually for Edgeworth.”
Maya gasped, her jaw dropping open. “Mr. Edgeworth is your girlfriend?!”
“What!?" Nick's eyes bugged out. "No!! He’s just my - court rival! And best friend.”
Maya gasped again, this time because she was offended. "No he's not! I am!"
"Okay, fine, yes. Yes, you are." Nick rolled his eyes at her before continuing. “But Edgeworth is, too. And I bought that for him, because... well, he stopped here after court the other day. Before you came down from the village. I let him in because he claimed he wanted my advice on something, but I think he was just in the mood to pick on me, honestly. After some heated discussion, we went to take a breather, but I didn't have any tea for him to drink, because of course I don't, it's just hot grass water. And this man, he really had the nerve to lecture me on all the benefits of drinking tea versus coffee, how utterly detrimental caffeine can be for the nervous system, the circulation, the digestion, not to mention the anti inflammatory properties..." He shook his head and raised a hand, miming blah-blah-blah. "All I had for him was coffee or water, so of course he lectured me on that, too. But surprise, he asked for the coffee. He likes it sweet - you'd think a stone cold guy like him would take it black, but he put at least two spoons of sugar in it before I left the room, and at least half of it was probably milk, judging from the color."
He shrugged, a loose jerk of his shoulders. "Once he settled down and stopped patronizing me for my peasant tastes, he admitted that he cut out coffee to help with his anxiety. He used to drink it constantly to stay awake, you know, because of his nightmares from DL-6. It sounded too honest to be an excuse, so I... figured... y'know, if he wanted to stop by again sometime, I should keep something on hand for him." He shrugged a second time, aiming for nonchalant.
"Oh." Maya blinks at him. "That's... actually really sweet of you, Nick. Holy cow."
"'Actually'? Why is that surprising? I'm very nice. Especially when people aren't bullying me." He shrugged and spread his hands, shaking his head in a very familiar looking way. Man, he really was hanging out with Edgeworth, then. That was the prosecutor's shrug, replicated almost perfectly. "See? The explanation was perfectly reasonable all along. You flipped out for nothing."
Maya glowered at him, lips pursed thoughtfully. “That's what you think. You’re not off the hook just yet."
Nick deflated with a long exhale. "Of course not. 'Cause when can I ever catch a break...?"
"Repeat your statements!" Maya pushed her pillowy sleeves up to her shoulder and put her fists on her hips. She put a hand up in the air, then sliced it downward. "Cross examination, begin!"
"You're not an attorney, you don't have the authority to cross examine," Nick protested.
"Watch me!" Maya narrowed her eyes at him, pursed her pouting lips harder, and jabbed a finger at him accusingly. "Repeat your statements!!"
Nick rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll play along,” he grumbled, crossing his arms again. “Edgeworth stopped by here the other day to talk about some things–”
“HOLD IT! What kind of things?”
Nick winced. “Ow. Maya, that's too loud, I'm standing right here-"
“Answer the question!”
“Fine! Um........work stuff?”
“What kind of 'work stuff'? What does that entail?"
“Work stuff. I dunno how else to put it for you. You know, cases and clients and the like. Because, in case you forgot, we’re both attorneys, and also friends, so that means we're perfectly within our rights to get together and… discuss work.”
“HOLD IT!”
“Ow! Maya!”
“You paused a little there. Clarify what you mean by ‘discussing work’.”
“Okay, well... We mostly just... talk things through. Brainstorm, spitball, whatever you wanna call it," Nick answered. "It does help, actually, working through it together. You know what they say: two heads are better than one."
"Uh-huh..." Maya put a hand to her chin. "So, you said Edgeworth lectured you for making him drink coffee. 'Again.'"
Nick reluctantly nodded. "Yes," he said shortly, a sassy 'so?' heavily implied in the challenging quirk of his eyebrows.
Maya squinted at him. "So you two get together and do that often?" She squinted even harder. "Have - how did you put it? - heated discussions?"
"Well, they're not always heated. We don't shout at each other like we're in court or anything. At least not usually. It can just get... intense." Nick looked away and muttered to himself. "Orinbed."
"Huh?" Maya focused on him, ears pricked. "What was that??"
"Nothing," he quickly said. He shrugged nonchalantly. "You're just pressing on run-of-the-mill details. If the Judge were here, he'd penalize you for wasting time."
"Since when is you and Mr. Edgeworth casually hanging out 'run-of-the-mill' and 'regular'?" Maya scoffed.
"Since we reconnected after fifteen years, Maya. Come on. We're spinning our wheels here. It's obvious this cross-examination isn't going anywhere." Nick shook his head. “Look, I’m gonna go change, and then how about we watch that new Pink Princess movie?"
Maya gasped. "Secrets of Silver and Shadow?!"
"Yeah, that one. I rented it 'cause I figured you'd make me do it sooner or later, and I've got another couple of days until my free trial on this email address runs out. I even bought popcorn." He reached into the foodstuff bag, rummaged around, and pulled out the aforementioned box.
"Really!? Okay!"
"Great." Nick handed the box to her. "Put the cold stuff up, then get some p-corn started, why don't you? I'll be back." He walked out of the kitchenette, and disappeared into the tiny back room he used as a living space when he didn't feel like going back to his own place.
As the door shut behind him, the excitement wore off.
"Huh," Maya murmured to herself. Since when would Nick suggest they watch a movie from the Steel Samurai cinematic universe?
She stood there in the kitchenette for a few moments longer, squinting at the scattered groceries on the counter.
Then, Maya shrugged. "Eh!" She opened up the box, pulled out a popcorn packet, removed the shrink wrap, and popped it in the microwave for three minutes. While the microwave hummed, she rushed to put up the groceries, particularly the frozens and refrigerated things.
Maybe that girlfriend of his simply enjoys fine entertainment, she thought with a snort of amusement.
But then, she slowed to a pause, and her forehead creased as she really considered it.
A Steel Samurai fan that drinks Ceylon tea? Something about that nagged her. Did she know someone who fell in the middle of that Venn diagram...? She knew a couple of groupies personally from attending BushteeldoCon, both casuals and diehards. But Ceylon tea wasn't very popular at all outside of the Kurainese community, since it was very potent and citrusy. When she was little, before she had acquired the taste, Maya thought it tasted like grass clippings and Lemon Pledge - just like Nick always complained.
And speaking of; Nick's door squeaked as he came back out, dressed down in casual clothes, a baggy hoodie and jeans.
"Okay," he announced as he headed over to the couch to load up the film. "Get your goods and let's do this thing."
"Oh, right!" Maya dug through the bags, and finally found her prize. "Aha!" She triumphantly lifted a specially branded box up above her head. "Limited edition Pink Princess fruit gummies!"
"Twelve dollars for a box of six, by the way," Nick bitterly pointed out. "Total rip off."
"You pay money for quality, Nick." Maya hugged the box to her chest and went over to the couch. She climbed over the back of it and dropped down next to Nick, putting all her suspicious thoughts on the back burner. "Just know that your rent money went to a good cause: my belly!"
Nick snorted. "If only I could write it off as 'donating to charity' on my taxes...."
Edgeworth stared at her blankly.
He blinked once, then twice, then thrice.
“Pardon me, Ms. Fey, but I think I just misheard,” he eventually began, speaking slowly. “You... want me... to question Wright about some woman?"
"I told you, Miles, it's Maya. And yes! I need you to get me the answers I need!” Maya pressed her palms together pleadingly. “You've gotta help me! Nick refuses to tell me anything about his secret girlfriend and it's driving me nuts! I wanna know so bad!!"
“Wait, wait, wait." Edgeworth waved his hands and shook his head to stop her. "You think that Wright - Phoenix Wright - has a secret girlfriend?”
“That's the only logical explanation for why he's been so weird lately!" Maya insisted, throwing her hands up. "Like, did you know that he actually suggested we watch the new Pink Princess movie the other day?"
Edgeworth's eyebrows piqued. "Secrets of Silver and Shadow?"
"Yeah! The one he called 'an obvious cash grab'? I didn't even have to force him! He sat and watched the whole thing, and barely made a peep! That's how I know he's trying to hide something. He always talks during movies." She sat back in the chair on the other side of his desk and re-crossed her leg over her other knee. "I just want him to be honest with me, Miles... I don't like that he's hiding something important from me. And he's not even doing it well, either."
"How so?"
"Like... he's cheerful. Like, humming while doing dishes, walking with a pep in his step - he's turned into a real Jolly Saint Nick, and it's not even Christmas! Not to mention, his aura's got this magenta tinge, so he's obviously, like, in love with somebody, but then he gets all skittish and nervous whenever I confront him about it! The whole reason I found out in the first place is because he came into the office with his hedgehog spikes smelling all fruity-flowery. And I know he doesn't have any girly smelling shampoo like that, because he was using the sugar cookie stuff I bought him for his birthday before that, so it had to have been a girl's, ergo, his secret girlfriend!!"
Irritation flickered across Edgeworth’s face. What, did she use 'ergo' incorrectly? "Is floral or fruit-scented shampoo inherently 'girly'?" he questioned, voice measured with a heavy dose of sarcastic disapproval.
"I mean, it's not necessarily. But the one he used definitely was." She waved her hands around. "There are just... all these little hints that make it so obvious! And the part that really drives me nuts is how he just keeps denying it." She dropped her voice to a mockery of Nick's deeper tone. "'Maya, I do not have a girlfriend, nor do I want one.' Like, come on, get real! I've already called him out, so why won't he just give up?"
"Mm." Edgeworth nodded behind his fingers steepled over his mouth. He pointed them toward her. "Well, have you presented him with any solid evidence of your claim?"
Maya wilted. "Well... no, 'cause I don't have solid evidence... but it's just so obvious!"
"Mhm. Right." Edgeworth sat back in his own chair, pressing himself into the high, cushioned back. It was completely silent under his weight, unlike how Nick's cheap, secondhand spinner rocked and squeaked and creaked with even the tiniest movement. "Well, Ms. Fey- sorry, Maya. I'm not sure if I can help you, if you don't have solid evidence to present. Proof is the lifeblood of the law, so it's rather difficult to apply it to... well... a baseless claim."
"I know. That's why I came to you." Maya met his gray eyes head-on. "You're not just a scary good lawyer, you're his most trusted guy friend. Guys talk about that stuff with each other, don't they? And I know Nick really likes having you around. I mean, I'm a pretty cool friend, but I can tell he's the type of person who just likes having people around him. He even bought a box of tea for the office, just for you."
Edgeworth blinked at her, seeming mildly surprised. "He did...?" he asked, his tone going terribly soft for some reason.
"Yeah. For when you stop by to talk about cases and stuff. So you wouldn't have to drink his terrible peasant coffee. He even splurged for Ceylon, since you've got such fancy tastes." Maya spread her hands in a hapless shrug. "So I figured, y'know, since you two hang out and stuff - maybe he'd tell you about her, and you could convince him that he should tell me about her."
He pursed his lips. "Hmm. I see."
She tapped her fingertips together, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "So then? What do you say?"
Edgeworth stared at her for a long, long moment, completely deadpan.
“...right. Erm... Maya,” he eventually began, sounding grudging, “I'm sure that this won't be what you'd like to hear... However, the details of Wright's personal life are, quite frankly, none of your business. Nor mine, for that matter."
Maya frowned. "You were right. That isn't what I wanted to hear."
"However," Edgeworth went on. "I like to believe that I know Wright well enough by now to assure you of this: In the event that there is some sort of... secret paramour whose presence he's keeping concealed, from you or otherwise, he wouldn't keep them from you for long. If your suspicions are accurate, then he is most likely trying to find the best way to come out. With the truth, that is," he hastily tacked on.
Maya perked up a little. "You think so?"
"Of course. He simply isn't the type to leave those he cares about in the dark about important things occuring in his personal life. And you are one of his closest friends in the entire world, lest you forget. He trusts you with his life, and then some. " Edgeworth picked up his pen where he'd dropped it in his shock, when she first blurted out her Wright-girlfriend theory, and returned to initialling the papers he'd been working on. "And in the event that he is electing to withhold information about some supposed 'secret relationship', you know he wouldn't do it without good reason," he added.
Maya pursed her lips at that. "Yeah... yeah, I guess you're right, Miles. Nick's a good egg. He wouldn't keep me in the dark like that without reason."
"Exactly. Hold fast to your faith, Maya. If there is something going on, he will inform you of it soon. Of that I have no doubt." Edgeworth definitively scrawled his tight, elegant signature, then reached over and tossed his paper into some kind of outbox. "Perhaps he is simply waiting for the right time to bring it up - or he could've even been afraid to 'jinx' things. You know Wright can be rather superstitious, at times."
"Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Miles. He is kind of a fruit loop." Maya twirled her finger near her temple.
Edgeworth chuckled. An actual chuckle! "Too true. Luckily for him, that's one of his more endearing traits."
A knock on the door made him look peer past her. "Yes, come in," he called out.
The door creaked open ("Mental note: oil door hinges," Edgeworth muttered under his breath), and Detective Gumshoe poked his head in. "Oh, hey there, Miss Fey!" he chirped when he spotted Maya.
Maya waved. "Hey, Gumshoe!"
"Good afternoon, detective." Edgeworth glanced at the clock on the wall. "Is it that time already?"
"Yes, sir! The evidence is all ready 'n waiting." Gumshoe saluted to him.
"Alright then. I'll be right down. Just give me one minute to conclude things here." Edgeworth rose from his chair and tugged at his blazer to straighten it out.
"Roger that!" Gumshoe saluted again, then waved to Maya. "See ya later, little miss."
Maya waved again. "See ya later, Gummy! Tell Mags I said hi!"
"You got it, pal!"
Edgeworth brushed himself off, then looked to her as the door shut once more. "Apologies, but it seems I must cut our meeting short."
"No worries, Mr. Edgeworth. We were done anyways." Maya shrugged. "You're right. Nick's personal life isn't my business. If he is with someone, he'll tell me when he's ready."
"Oh." Edgeworth blinked. "Well... that was simpler than I thought..."
He shook off his shock and squared his shoulders back, idly buttoning his blazer. "Well, would you care for me to escort you out, then?"
Maya grinned. "Well, sure! How gentlemanly of you, Miles."
Edgeworth circled round the desk and offered his arm. Maya stood, curtseyed to him, then took his arm, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow. Together they turned and meandered out of his office.
"Shouldn't you lock up?" she questioned.
Edgeworth stopped in his tracks. "Ack. You make an excellent point." He pulled some keys out of his pocket and nimbly locked his office behind them. The lock clicked into place, then another; another; another, for a total of four. "There," he declared, then returned to her side. "Thank you for the reminder."
"You should really get into that habit." She gave him a teasing nudge, swaying into his side and making them veer off course. "Wouldn't want anyone stealing that cool figurine you've got on your window!"
Edgeworth waved his hand. "I'm more concerned about finding another corpse than any sort of theft," he replied.
Maya blinked at his relaxed, joking even, tone. Did he just say another corpse??
"Besides, if anyone does swipe that figure, they'll be sorely disappointed - it's a mere replica." He nudged her back lightly. "I have the real one on display in my home office. The only thing of value they'd fine here are my antique walnut burl desk, my classified case files, and my tea set made of authentic Falese porcelain."
"Falese porcelain?" Maya whistled. "Wow, what a find!"
"It was a gift, actually. From... well, let's call him a colleague and begrudging comrade." He shrugged. "My preferred selection of tea could also fetch a pretty penny, I suppose, if any hypothetical thief had know-how on it," he added.
Maya giggled. "Naw, really? How much could they price-gouge a box of Earl Grey?"
Edgeworth hummed ambivalently. "Actually, I prefer Ceylon."
The smile slipped off of Maya's face. "Ceylon?" she echoed. "Wow. That's.... fancy."
"Somewhat. It tends to be somewhat rare in these parts. As far as I've found, there's only one reliable supplier around here, so I figure they actually could get some resale value from it...."
Maya tuned him out as the smile slipped off of her face, his voice turning to white noise as she processed the new information.
A Steel Samurai fan that drinks Ceylon tea. Something about that nagged at her...
As they rode the elevator down to the lobby, Maya stood stiff at Edgeworth's side, and not just because several cops filed in on the tenth floor.
As subtly as she could manage, she leaned in close to him and covertly sniffed. Ink, earthy cologne, tangy Ceylon, and... hyacinth, with a faint tang of orange zest.
How interesting.
Maya appreciated the third Steel Samurai movie. It had a pretty good story to it, sure - it was another ninety minutes of suspense and balls to the wall butt-kicking, and not to mention the characters actually got fleshed out, and the lore was immensely expanded, giving them access to a whole trove of juicy intel. Plus, it starred the Pink Princess as more than just the Steel Samurai's love interest and damsel to be rescued, as the first few movies (and spin offs, and TV shows) did. Girl power - real, actual empowerment, and not just the shallow, performative stuff - was sooo refreshing to see after all the misogyny that was baked into the first few films by that Sal Manella guy, and it warmed her heart for Pearl to have such a positive role model, growing up in this kind of world (and good taste for such a young girl!).
Nick, however, was an uncultured, grumpy old geezer who fell asleep after thirty minutes. And he even put his stinky feet up on the coffee table, blocking half of the TV for her and Pearly.
Maya shot her companion a look, watching the light from the tv flicker on his face. She wrinkled her nose at his snoring over the main leitmotif. ('Da da dadada, da da da daaaa!’)
She felt Pearly shift into her side, and looked down at her little cousin. At least Pearly made it through an hour, she thought, fondly brushing hair out of her innocently sleeping face.
Nick suddenly snorted in his sleep from her right side, loud enough to startle her.
She turned her head to shoot him a nasty look, but noticed his smiling lips moving incoherently.
“….my…s.”
Her breath caught as a whisper of sound came from his lips.
Maya grabbed the remote from the arm of the couch, where she'd put it after a whole kerfuffle with Nick over the volume level, and lowered the sound. "What was that, Nick?"
Nick mumbled, barely audible. He shifted his head, letting it drop to the side, and his lips moved again.
"Miles..." And then he smiled, big and dopey. "Mm..."
Maya's jaw dropped. Was he dreaming about Edgeworth?!
Suddenly, that persistent nagging feeling lightened up, and satisfaction filled her.
How interesting.
Maya raised her hand up to his forehead and flicked him between the eyebrows.
Nick snorted and jolted, eyes fluttering open. "Buh - ow, what was that for?"
"You'd better be awake," Maya hissed to him, quiet so she wouldn't wake Pearly. "You fell asleep last time we watched - you promised you wouldn't this time."
“I know, I know." Nick sat up a bit and rubbed at his eyes, dragging his palm down his face with a groan. "I wasn't, I was just... resting my eyes."
"Uh-huh. You might wanna get that drool problem looked at, then." Maya tapped the corner of her lips.
"Huh? Drool prob-" Nick swiped his wrist over his mouth, then turned his face into his shoulder to wipe it off on his shirt.
Smirking to herself, Maya looked back to the screen.
Interesting, indeed.
It was a particularly sweltering day that day.
The sun was practically baking the concrete jungle to a nice, unbearable crisp.
“God, I think I got heatstroke,” Nick moaned, voice muffled by the freezer walls. “Why did I wear a suit today?"
Maya chugged the last dregs of her ice water, licking her lips as she drew the glass away.
“If you do die, I’ll buy you a new suit without pit stains to bury you in,” she promised.
Nick shot her a tired, sweaty frown. "Thanks," he said sarcastically.
Maya dipped her head and put a hand to her chest in a mock bow. "It's the least I could do for the man who bought me limited edition Pink Princess gummies with his rent money."
"Yeah it is." Nick pulled his head from the freezer with great reluctance and shut the door. He trudged over to the couch and collapsed next to Maya, reaching up to undo the tie he'd kept for some only-god-knows reason.
"I think I'm literally gonna pass away," he groaned as he unbuttoned his shirt and tugged his collar open.
Maya put her empty glass on the table, then flopped back against the couch. She turned her head toward Nick, about to comment on his wilted hair spikes. But a dark spot on the side of his neck drew her eyes. No, not a spot, but a....
She whistled. "Nick, Nick, Niiick!"
Nick cracked an eye open at her. "No. Get your own drink - you should've asked while I was still up."
"No, not that." She reached over and smacked him on the arm. "Warn your lover not to mark you up next time. Rrrow!"
"What are you talking about, Maya...? It's too darn hot for nonsense," Nick complained, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and draping an arm over his face.
"It's not nonsense." Maya grinned at him, tiger like. "Nicky's got a hickey, Nicky's got a hickey~"
Nick's eyes shot open. "What?!"
"Yep. Right there!" She poked the side of his neck, right on the dark mark.
Nick bolted up and jumped up from the couch. He ran out of the room and darted into the bathroom. He slammed through the door like a battering ram, then cursed.
When he returned, he was blushing like he was sunburnt.
Maya smirked at him. "Got yourself a minx, don't you?" she asked smugly.
"Maya, I'm evoking the Shuddahell Clause, right stat now," he weakly protested. "So shuddahell up."
She chuckled at his pitiful attempt to deflect. "I never would've pegged you as the type to like a freak. Especially considering the last person you dated literally became a nun!"
"Don't even go there." Nick flopped down on the sofa again - he'd rebuttoned his shirt back - and rubbed at his neck. "Look, we were - uh, well - we were celebrating last night, and maybe we might've-"
"Hey, hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," Maya quickly cut him off as her smugness quickly turned to squick. "In fact, please don't."
"But you're the one who pointed it out in the first place," Nick grumbled.
"Yeah, well, have you considered the Shuddahell Clause? 'Cause maybe you should."
Nick rolled his eyes to the heavens, so hard he was at risk of dislocating his eyeballs. "Ugh. What-ever." He picked up the remote and turned on something - ugh, the news. What an old man.
Maya turned to watch the weather segment with him. But she critically eyed him out of the corner of her eye, and wondered if this would cause her to view Edgeworth in a new light or not.
“You know, you two had me really going for a while,” Maya said unprompted one day, after a fairly short day in court. Since they let out just before lunch, Edgeworth invited them both to a little bistro he frequented a couple of blocks from the courthouse - his treat, he'd said, so of course cheapo Nick had jumped at the chance to splurge.
“What do you mean, Maya?” Nick asked. Edgeworth just sipped at his tea again, electing to let Nick do the talking.
“I can’t believe I thought you had some spry little girlfriend, Nick,” Maya explained, chuckling. She paused to take a swallow of her own soda before continuing. “Considering how darn fruity you are, I don't know how I ever even considered it!”
Edgeworth suddenly spluttered, and exploded into coughs when some got sucked down the wrong pipe. He hastily set his cup down and slapped himself on the chest to try and clear his lungs.
Nick patted him on the back and shot her a glare. "I think 'fruit' is an offensive term, Maya," he dryly pointed out.
"Oh. Still? Well, I meant it endearingly. I mean, what else would you call somebody who dedicated their entire career just to potentially, on an off chance, meeting another person again?"
Edgeworth snorted. "She does have a point, you know," he rasped, taking another sip to try and soothe his throat.
Maya pointed to him. “And you! You’re no better than he is! Letting him use your flowery shampoo when he borrows your shower, always standing too close and brushing up against each other, giving him that schmoopy soft smile - you're just as bad, Miles, if not worse!"
Edgeworth blushed, and it was Nick's turn to snicker. "She has a point, you know," he mocked back.
“Shame on both of you, honestly,” Maya declared, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “Mostly for keeping it from me, and for thinking I wouldn’t figure it out eventually. Like, puh-leze! I’ve read too many MetalMask fanfics to not recognize the signs of a gay, illicit workplace romance."
They both stared at her - there was more disbelief from Nick, while Edgeworth seemed to be torn between embarrassed and pleasantly surprised.
"You're into MetalMask?" he asked, a breath of excitement.
"Oh, am I! I've gone through every fic I could find! Even wrote a few myself on the KinkMeme," Maya replied.
Awe dawned on Edgeworth's face, edging the embarrassment off his visage. "Thank you for your service," he said, reverently and sincerely. "They are criminally underrated."
"'Service'? What service?" Nick puzzled, sounding utterly bewildered. "And aren't you a little young for whatever a 'kink-meme' is..?"
"By that logic, I'm also too young for you two to be subjecting me to your sexually tense legal debates," Maya spat at him.
Nick shrank back, the heat returning to his and Edgeworth's faces again. "Yeah, okay. Fair."
She sat back and haughtily slurped from her milkshake. "Speaking of which - next time, either get better at keeping your secret relationship a secret... or just tell me sooner so I can congratulate you properly."
"Uh... okay. I guess." Nick twisted up his face. "I don't intend there to be a 'next time', but if there is, you'll be the first to know, I guess."
Both Maya and Edgeworth looked at him, surprised.
Then, Maya beamed. "Awww, Nick!" she cooed, resting a hand over her heart. "Your aura is so magenta!"
"What?" Nick turned to Edgeworth, brow furrowed. "What does that mean?"
"Oh... don't worry about it, Wright." Edgeworth smiled into his cup as he brought it up for another drink.
Nick pulled a face, then rolled his eyes. He propped his elbow on the table and put his fist on his cheek. "Whatever. You guys are so weird."
Then, he perked up, alert when a familiar ringtone started going off. He sat back and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the screen, and horror washed over his face.
"Oh no..." He lowered the phone to look at them. "What are we gonna tell Larry?"