Chapter Text
Duviri.
A place of endless loops. An escape from the Void. A land where past and future are lost in a twisted paradox. No longer caring if there was anything beyond this infinite hell.
Struggling to survive, without anything but the memories of fighting like hell to break free. Whispers of ancient agony that tell you to look away. Don’t remember. If you remember then you will fall. At the whims of a child-king whose greatest pleasure had become the sight of your death. All so you wouldn’t leave his side anymore.
Maybe this death you would finally stop.
Over.
Maybe this death you would finally see that all of this… was for you.
And over again.
“Begin again!”
It always came back to that. She would die, and he would start it over. It had been many… many years since she stopped trying to reach out to her once-friends. Crying and begging for it to stop. Screaming as each blade came down on her neck.
The screams had stopped a long time ago.
Apathy.
Ever get that feeling you’re stuck? Spinning inside your little wheel. Only to find… you’re right back where you started.
Another death. Another turn back of time.
And so it goes. Day by day. Year by year, until you’re dead… inside. You feel nothing. You’re just a prisoner trapped in the spiral of someone else’s dream…
Nyx hissed in pain, her knees aching some as she was pushed down to them, gazing up at Lodun once again. Here was where she would die once more. Executed for ‘crimes against the crown’. She echoed his ‘decree’ in a bored tone of voice, waiting to die again as she always did. Just another loop. Another reminder that she would never be free.
Lodun… The anchor of Anger. A once-brother who showed compassion for the people and true leadership once upon a time. Who showed her the sacrifices one must make in order to lead those who cannot lead themselves. Who was sentenced just as she. To be the one to take her life… over and over and over again. To the point where all he could do was laugh so that he wouldn’t scream.
Rather than the blade that was supposed to take her head, a new sword pierced her stomach, made of a blue energy rather than the cold steel. It left her shocked and gasping for air as it pulled away with… no injury? What was this? Something was… changing? Here ? A bright light formed above them, parting the clouds that almost never changed. Lodun looked up with outright glee, changing quickly from his irritation that someone had interfered.
“HA! Even better!” She finally looked up to see what he was gazing at, eyes going wide. “Death by… METEOR-” Nyx wasted no time in getting the hell out of the way. The script had changed - Shifting away from the tired old tones. The meteor dented the stone, and tore apart the metal dolls that were her tormentors. Smoke cleared, and she could see no one left around but herself. She hesitantly stood to make her way back to broken doll parts and rubble, seeing a glowing hand within. She stared in awe, while a woman’s voice echoed within her heart. Far away, familiar, and unknown all at once.
Wake up, Tenno.
Who?
She knelt and reached out to the hand, yelping in surprise as the ‘hand’ fused to her own; power forgotten coursing through her veins. Both her own and not all at once. Was it a gift? It felt so familiar… But the hollow place her memories used to be spoke otherwise. Shaking off the curiosity, she followed the hand as it led her out of the city, bringing her to relative safety in a damp, hidden cave. A cave where her supposed ‘savior’ lived. The owner of the glowing sword that had ‘saved’ her life. An older Dax named Teshin. How she knew what he was escaped her, but it left her suspicious and on edge. She scrunched up her face at his greeting, knowing better than to immediately trust a new face. Thrax had toyed with her heart too many times. Someone to save her. Someone to care .
There was no one.
Yet despite her familiarity with solitude and betrayal, here was Teshin, and Lua. A mentor and a rabbit that felt more familiar than she ever wanted to admit. Doors leading to a set of rooms she could only barely remember. Rooms she knew she didn’t want to remember. How many times had she summoned these rooms to create an accidental labyrinth? Escaping nightmares entirely of her own making? A childhood she couldn’t remember yet somehow knew by heart.
Her new ‘mentor’s’ idea of breaking out was a task she didn’t much care for. Teshin wanted her to reassemble some broken doll she had picked up on her mad dash out of the city.
Why? This Dax didn’t know her. Didn’t know how Duviri worked - or so she wanted to scream. How could he, when he’d only just gotten here? He appeared out of nowhere, after all these centuries, and tried ordering her around? Surely he didn’t think she was going to just listen to him? Nyx’s hands curled into fists, a reflex that simmered below the fog in her heart.
“Keep the stupid doll,” she had snapped back, retreating towards her rooms. It was too soon. Too raw. Every time she wanted to leave, Thrax retaliated with anger. How dare you try to leave me. He would cry. What would he do if she actually found the power to force her way out?
Would he ever forgive me?
“You know you cannot run from here with Thrax on the throne. But by all means, try again. I’ll even give you my blades.” Teshin was cool and collected, taking her anger in stride. Like he’d expected it. If only she could tell him that Thrax wasn’t the problem. Would he believe her? He seemed to have such a whole-hearted belief that she could carve her way out of the endless spirals of emotion that kept her hostage. Would he listen if she told him that Thrax wasn’t the real problem?
That… would be for another spiral. She couldn’t face it yet.
Day after day, she would leave the cave. Ignoring Teshin’s patience and the three figures sitting upon the plinths in the center of the main cavern. Day after day, she would wake up in her bed with a gasp, as time reset once more. Thrax was agitated, but he didn’t seem to notice that she’d found a new place to bunk down. Had no reason to suspect that she might have found her ticket out.
It would be a few more spirals before she gave in and took Teshin up on his offer for assistance. Tired of facing the same ending over and over again. Tired of the heartbreak. Tired of the slaughter. He taught her the blade, refined her gun, and even opened her eyes to the figures she had ignored. They had been there since she’d been led here, but this was the first time she was being told they weren’t statues.
“Warframes,” he called them. “Brought here by the paradox. In the world beyond the wall, they were the weapons of a warrior caste called the Tenno. I suspect your ‘hand’ may offer a way to control them, as they did. Choose.”
Choose? How?
Three figures knelt on each stone plinth. Each more distinct than the last. Yet… none of them spoke to her. A white male with broad shoulders and a wide chest, whose heart clung too tightly to duty. A female with spirals on her arms and a straightforward soul. A blue-clothed male with light sparks of lightning dancing across his metal, ready to race through anything that stood in his way. She picked one in the middle - ‘Mag’ - out of gender familiarity, but… it felt itchy. Like a too-tight suit right before a tense dinner. It stumbled in her control as she held a hand out towards it, and she shuddered from the effort of moving what felt like a whole other person. The other ‘Warframes’ faded, like they had never truly been there until she had made her choice.
“Relax,” she heard Teshin coax. “Let your mind adjust to the disassociation.”
Easier said than done. Memories and emotions raged within her heart. Distinct from her own that left her nearly winded. This ‘Warframe’... did not like her. Did not like her attempts to take control. The whys weren’t clear. Mag wasn’t particularly chatty about it. Just a vague sense of unease between them. She did manage to meld into the suit of sword-steel, but she hated it. Beggars cannot be choosers, but this was what she needed to break out? Trusting a suit of living armor that wouldn’t listen to her? This suit had no power to move on its own… and yet she could feel its heart. Mag felt foreign… hostile. Whatever Mag was used to handling, a brand new user of the Void was not it. Mag wanted to get straight to business, and Nyx couldn’t keep up.
Thankfully, it turned out that she could only use this ‘Warframe’ in a place called the Undercroft. A paradox within a paradox. An undertone of this world that she had long ignored. It meant limited time using the suit that didn’t like her. Over and over she attempted to run through this Undercroft, and yet Mag resisted. Her body wouldn’t move quite right, and the magnetic strength she could feel beneath the surface felt… distant.
Teshin did try to teach her how to move. How to use this suit of armor that the ‘Tenno’ from outside Duviri were so proficient at. He claimed the Undercroft was the ‘Tenno’s’ way of trying to send her aid. But why? No one cared that she was down here. For centuries she had been lost within the Void and here in Duviri. Growing until she was no longer a child. Now an old wizened Dax and some hand of a woman he occasionally mentioned were here to guide her out? Why now?
It made no sense…
When she did finally manage to successfully clean out the Dax specters within the Undercroft, her vision began to darken as a rippling agony spread throughout her body. The draw of power that Mag demanded was too much, too soon. The Void turned hot under her skin, rebelling from the sudden strain as she collapsed. When she awoke, she was once more in the dormizone within the Zariman. The one that was connected to Teshin’s cave by an odd doorway of Void energy. Teshin eyed her critically as she approached, though she ignored whatever he had been muttering to… who?
Who had he been talking to?
“That Warframe took a greater toll on you than expected…” he mused, taking in her worn out appearance. Passing out from using the Warframe hadn’t been his intention. She could see it in his face. The concern only made her feel worse.
I’m sorry for not being the Tenno you love so much.
Nyx glared at him tiredly, feeling a sharp burn in her chest that she only vaguely registered. “I’m not sure what you wanted from me. It’s my first time with these damned things, and Mag doesn’t even like me!” She ignored his raised eyebrows of surprise. They only irritated her further as her guilt grew. “This one won’t work with me, and I can’t stand it . I need to find a different one. You can call them, right? Tell whoever brought the damned things that the current one doesn't like me, and I don’t even know where the other two went. We can’t work together as a team when I have to fight to even breathe .”
He held such faith. It burned in her throat that she couldn’t live up to it. He had gone through all this trouble to bring in help from outside the boundaries of this world, and she was struggling. She retreated before she could see the contemplation on her mentor’s face. To see him put the pieces together. Not only did she not see them as tools, she spoke to them. Connected with them on a deeper level than her other. He ran a hand across Lua’s back.
“...I wonder…”
Apparently calling more of these ‘Warframes’ took effort in the current state of Duviri. She did what she could out and about, but without being able to go into the Undercroft - she refused off principle after the first disastrous runs with Mag - she could not locate any more paradoxes or even pieces of the doll. Not even the anchors of the spirals did more than repeat the same tired lines over and over again. Instead she only got more deaths for her troubles. Thrax was angrier now, as if he could sense her defiance. Did he know she had the body of the doll? Could he sense what she was planning? The hostility of the overworld was enough that she retreated to her room instead of continuing to throw herself at something that wouldn’t happen.
She did learn that Teshin arrived in Duviri through the Void storm. The same one that had been around when the Zariman had turned into a hell zone. He had been in some kind of war, and this woman he muttered about was something called… a Sentient. She didn’t know the first thing about it, really. Though it was nice to have a moment to speak to this old mentor figure. She might not trust him, but the company was a nice change of pace after all this time.
One particularly nasty Anger Spiral, she exited her rooms and saw them. New warframes sitting upon the stones. She didn’t know how, or who helped, but she was eager to see if any of these frames would be willing to help her escape. Maybe this time someone would finally hear her cries for help.
It was one in particular that caught her attention. A warframe of the darkest night and the deepest blood. Her breath caught at the sight of him. Similar to the white ‘Excalibur’ frame from before… but something was different. Even without reaching out, she could feel the tense muscles of a hunter. One who likely slaughtered for a living. Instead of putting her on edge, something about it soothed a part of her she couldn’t remember. Sometimes, to escape tyranny, you needed brutality. As if hearing this, his head lifted without her calling him. Oddly, she could tell when he was ‘looking’ at her, even through his red-painted helmet that seemed to pry into the darkest parts of her soul into the hatred within.
“Teshin? What’s happening?” she asked, nervous, but not fearful. There was no fear to be had in a place where you couldn’t die. Rather than her usual apathy, she felt a strange anticipation. One that only sparked as she watched this Warframe move to stand on his own. Nyx watched in awe as he stopped before her, something tingling on the edge of her senses. While the Warframes each felt like they had hearts and souls, this one was alive in a way the others lacked.
“Interesting… It seems this Warframe has a will of his own. I will caution making a bond with him, but it is your choice.” Teshin’s caution only irritated her. He was the one telling her that she had to pick a damned Warframe. It wasn’t her fault that the first set was hostile. Teshin might have taught her how to fight rather than run, but that didn’t mean she liked him. As if hearing her, the black Warframe seemed to shift ever so slightly.
Nyx gazed up at him, noticing the way he seemed ready to attack Teshin at any moment. Putting her thoughts aside, she let a rare half-smile crack her face as she held out a hand to him, palm facing him. A movement that quickly pulled the Warframe’s attention back to her as his body relaxed. “I do not know who’s call you answered, but think you are up for helping me break out of hell?”
Maybe he read her hatred. Her apathy. Deepest memories that she had cast into the abyss. Maybe he could see the distrust she held for Teshin. Her desperation for some kind of ally. The yawning chasm of abandonment. Crying out in the dark for anyone to never leave her again. She wasn’t sure what it was, or how he picked up on it, but he took the last steps forward until he was standing before her. His hand lifted to press his palm to hers as their fingers locked together.
A connection blazed to life between them, clear and pure like she hadn’t felt with Mag. Where Mag had put up distrusting walls, this Warframe held no such reservations. She took in a shuddering breath, blinking a few times to break through the odd clarity she felt. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” No memories came across their bond, not that Mag had given her much. In Mag’s case it had been disdain and a reluctant info dump of how to fight.
This Warframe, this Shadow, kept his memories closed to her. She could tell it was a choice on his part, and she respected it. After all, she was the one begging for help. He didn’t need her help to fight, and he let her know, much to her surprise. However, he would tear open this paradox one way or another. There was something driving him, but she didn’t ask why. Rather, she was just glad she finally had an ally. They had only just met, but no one who could bond so cleanly with her soul was someone she couldn’t believe in.
Teshin was someone she couldn’t trust. He kept too many secrets about this place and who she even was. Memories she likely would regain on her own now that she was trying to live again. He clearly wasn’t going to bother just telling her anything. This Shadow was at least clear in what he kept to himself, and what he thought she should know. So with a grin, she chose him as her ‘partner’, though that was just a formality. It was clear from the brush of his soul against hers that they would work well together. Due to his strange quirk of life, it didn’t take much of her power to assist him. She could navigate through Duviri and the Undercroft, and he had the strength to see her through. Next time she reached the Undercroft, she would be able to finally rely on someone.
Of course when she left the cave she was alone. Duviri was unstable. A Void-charged being like a Warframe would destabilize it and probably leave Sybel a crying heap of ‘I told you so’s. So no matter how she wished otherwise, the dark Warframe had to wait for her near entrances to the Undercroft. Though somehow even the distance didn’t stop her from no longer feeling like she was alone. There was a calm coming from him that soothed her frayed nerves. A cold certainty that kept her head on straight whenever Lodun’s soldiers attempted to bar her path.
The skies above her burned with a red hue - The Anger Spiral charged with Lodun’s indignation. He thought himself the true king of Duviri, which much was in part to Thrax ignoring his duties to the people. She tried to tune out Lodun’s snarls, or the storyteller that was always present thanks to the Void, but it didn’t stop her from hearing it. Lodun’s fury. She shook with the force of it, staggering. Anger was powerful. It had been forcefully cast out of her heart, but now it was returning. How long she’d been numb to it. Primal fury at being trapped and betrayed. Abandoned.
The doll piece was easy enough to find. The Void had been rather strict when it pulled Duviri from her mind as a child. Fashioning it into a living storybook. So when she had a goal, the Void responded and ‘read’ her way right to it. A script that each puppet was destined to play. It twisted her heart with an old pain. Her once-friends were powerless to resist it. Even Lodun. She clutched the missing leg of the doll, taking a deep breath before she turned to return to the portal that would whisk her away to Teshin’s Cave.
The body of the Doll lay on the stone, surrounded by half-melted candles. A small, broken forgotten thing. Like it had been torn apart deliberately. It was familiar, yet she couldn’t remember its place. She sighed, reconnecting the leg to the doll, when suddenly her mind was torn from her. A piece of her lost emotions returning in full force, that had been tossed aside from her heart. To protect from the pain of the torment she had faced. The fog finally beginning to break apart and reveal the cracks and raging seas beneath.
Anger bloomed like coals in her heart. Stronger than the echoes she had felt before. Reviving like a scorned phoenix ready to blaze the plains to ashes. A deep, sinking loathing that scorched her bones and left her without any more tears to shed.
I guess we’re born with anger. An instinct like any other. Like squinting at the sun or… flinching from a burn… but some of us… maybe we learn it.
The shadow of a child angrily tearing a doll apart. Mirroring the angry child in her heart that she could hardly remember. Why was everyone gone? Why am I alone? I don’t want to be alone. Why did you leave me? An anger born in her heart towards those who betrayed her. Abandoned and alone. She’d just wanted friends. She’d wanted her parents back. And they turned on her. Numb apathy gave way to raw fury. Awakened with the tingling of memories best left forgotten.
When she came back to herself, she staggered into the arms of the Shadow, overwhelmed. Teshin was nearby, but his approach had been halted by the stern set of the Shadow’s body. He had picked up on her distrust and her awakened hatred, and rightly kept her ‘mentor’ at bay. She was in no state to have the man she barely knew come anywhere near her. Her bond with her Shadow was the only reason she even trusted the Warframe. Without that trust, they couldn’t fight by each other’s side.
A sigh, and then Teshin relaxed. He didn’t argue with the living Warframe. Though he wasn’t happy that this living weapon was so close. “You saw that ship in the sky… The Zariman.” His words were meant to distract from the awakened anger, but rather than that his words brought a searing agony. A name that echoed in her heart with despair she didn’t remember and could barely feel. A horror locked so tightly in her heart that she didn’t want to remember. “Our child-king must be one of those who was abandoned there… A Tenno.”
“I thought you said the Tenno are helping me,” she countered, holding onto the Shadow’s forearm like a lifeline. Hovering between echoed grief and her awakened fury. He kept a hand at the ready for his knives, and she had to fight a feral grin at the idea that her Shadow would even fight her mentor should she wish it. It soothed the hurt. If only slightly. “This… paradox stuff. Now you’re saying Thrax is one of them?” It felt wrong. Teshin clearly didn’t understand what was at play here. She may not know what a ‘Tenno’ was…
But Thrax belonged to Duviri. The only one that stood out was her. The only one who aged. Who changed. Drifter. She wanted to hide away in the Shadow’s arms, to accept his offer of shelter that she could feel at the edges of his soul, but resisted the urge. Now was not the time to fall to pieces.
“The history I know… that Zariman ship returned from the Void, bringing with it the extraordinary power the Tenno command. But here is a different path, I suppose. A difference in parallel. A paradox in itself.” He glanced at the skies outside of the cave, shrugging his shoulders. Clearly missing the flinch she couldn’t hide from her Warframe. The Shadow placed a hand on her back. And only then could she tell she was shaking. Cracks in her cast out memories. Ones she didn’t want to face. “The world above changes every day following what Thrax feels. Get some rest, and ready yourself for the next day.”
He knew she was weakened. Nyx knew it. But she stubbornly pushed away from the Shadow and marched her way back to her rooms like she had all the energy in the world, using her awakened fury as fuel. Teshin could never be allowed to see her weakness. He wasn’t someone she trusted. Abandoned me just like all the rest.
Once she was safely out of eyesight, the heavy stone door sliding shut behind her, she leaned heavily against the wall with a soft breath. Not quite a cry, but full of exhaustion. Emotion drained out of her already battered heart. Anger bled instead into a soul-deep sorrow. Aching loneliness that forever pierced the fog within her heart. Nyx pressed the back of her hand to her eyes. Trying to re-bury the pain. The memories.
She couldn’t focus like this.
Her bond lit up behind her in the same moment that she heard the door open, and she glanced over her shoulder with a weak smile. Her Warframe stood in the doorway until the door slid shut. Blocking the view into Teshin’s cave. He knew her smile was fake. She knew it was fake. Forced out in an attempt to piece her broken pieces back together.
“Oh… Shadow. Sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this. Every so often… it’s too much.”
Emotionally she was pulled tight and twisted into knots. Physically she was worn out. Feeding energy to a Warframe took a lot out of someone. She hadn’t passed out this time, likely due to Shadow not needing much from her at all. He didn’t even need Transference. They only used it to keep her safe. Hiding her exhaustion from Teshin, when his hawk eyes were constantly watching, was a task and a half. She had no one to lean on, to show her weakness. To feel like she wasn’t alone. An outlet for emotions she was remembering how to feel.
For a moment the silence stretched on between them. It felt a little awkward, teetering so close to the edge of tears as she was, but she wasn’t about to chase him away either. He strode towards her slowly, as he seemed to settle on something, before scooping her up into his arms. She didn’t have the strength to protest, though she was certainly startled, clinging to his company like a sponge. Humans weren’t meant to be alone for long periods of time. Which only made her many years within this world ache in her heart. Exhausted tears slipped down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, but he didn’t call attention to them. Rather, she was thankful for his silence. A sturdy soul that she could cling to and pretend she wasn’t broken. She reached out to the bond she could feel humming beneath the surface, taking solace in his presence and his quiet strength. Taking comfort in the cold certainty of the assassin carrying her.
She could tell very few things about this Shadow. With his memories closed to her, she had to study his movements and the feel of his soul. He fought like a trained soldier; weaving in and out of the darkness before slaughtering anything in his way. It was fascinating. Her, with her poor swordsmanship, didn’t hold a candle to Shadow as he wielded his scythe. It had been a surprise that he had given her the names of his weapons. There was no voice, but through their bond she had just known.
This connection was new to him too, she realized. Sure, he kept everyone at bay. There was none he really trusted, nor did he go out of his way to protect anyone. She didn’t know why he had been willing to stand by her side. He sheltered her like his arms had been empty for far too long.
He found a silent corner next to a grand window to settle down against the wall, cradling her on his lap with her head nestled against his shoulder. The night sky of Duviri blazed red with the remnants of the Anger Spiral, coating the room and the hanging moss in a red hue that made her Shadow glow with a bloodthirsty light. He didn’t ask questions, and she didn’t give answers. But their bond rippled with her ragged emotions.
Fear at dying again. Anger at being trapped. Grief at a struggle gone on too long. A yawning chasm of loneliness that she couldn’t bury. A broken heart from betrayal. A child-king who turned from friend to tormentor. Characters who had been friends once upon a time. Guilt that this was all her fault for trying to leave. In those quiet moments together, she let the Shadow see her agony. He held her as she cried, finally able to express the pain she carried for too long.
It wasn’t a fix for her pain. It didn’t address any of her trauma. But for her… it was a tiny miracle in her own personal hell. A Warframe just as bent and broken as she was. Fit together thanks to the pieces the world had carved out of them.
“Thank you…” she whispered to him, her throat raw from the crying. “And sorry. I guess I went without proper company for too long.” The joke was flat, but she smiled from it anyway. She knew he wouldn’t answer, but that was alright. After she got some sleep, safe under his watchful vigil, she knew she would feel ready to face the next Spiral.
The following day in fact did finally change emotions. When the two emerged back into the cave, Teshin was waiting for them. His expression said enough what he thought of her spending so much time with the living Warframe, and her eyes clearly told him to shove it. Who was he to act like he meant anything to her?
“Well… it seems Thrax woke on the right side of his crib today...”
His musing only brought a scowl to Nyx’s face. “Sickening.” The Joy Spirals were some of the most painful for her to face. Mathila. The mother figure. Who had been created to replace what she’d lost. Thrax. Her old friend, giddy in his power. In his betrayal. The Shadow hovered by her shoulder, and she took solace in his presence to pull herself out of her thoughts.
“Remember-”
Nyx turned away, waving a hand. “I’ve been here longer than you, Teshin. I’ll find the doll piece.” Who was he to act like he knew more about this place than she did? Her memories might be missing… but they were returning. With each piece, she became whole.
Teshin sighed. “Follow the hidden fable. I will see you upon your return.”
To the Happy mind, all things seem simple. Problems could be solved simply by making them go away.
A happiness she was denied. Nyx grit her teeth, taking care of tasks for the citizens while trying to tune out the voice of Mathila above her. She had once gone out of her way to help the people of Duviri. Spending the time to get to know and help out anyone she could. Now she did only the minimum to move the story along. Waiting for Mathila to lead her onward.
“ It’s time for you to descend into the Undercroft to make things right. It may not be what you want, but it IS what you need. ”
The portal opened nearby, and she hesitated. Mathila had always been about happiness above all else. Something she had tried to listen to when she’d first gotten here. A mother when she had lost hers… Until the shift. When happiness came at the cost of everything. Why remember the past when you could be happy here? She used to say. Fragmented memories. Laughter that faded into mockery. Memories she had once happily cast aside simply to muffle the pain agony .
Why could other people not simply be as Happy as Mathila was? Why did they have to be so difficult?
Nyx raced through the portal where the Shadow awaited her. He caught her easily as she barreled into him, shaking. Words weren’t needed. Her need to run from the prickling of things she was better off forgetting was nipping at her heels. She vanished into Transference, and he rolled his shoulders to prepare for the coming fight. Hatred fueled his scythe, Dread his bow, and Despair his knives. Emotions coming off the Drifter in waves within his soul.
"The Undercroft is a source of unbridled negativity. We are about joy and nothing but joy. So your path is clear, isn't it?"
His hand brushed his chest - feeling the trembling not-Tenno within. There were no words, but both of them were angry. Trapped and forced to dance to a tune they did not want. Him, bound by tyrants who did what they pleased. Her, trapped in a hell of her own making. While her memories were foggy, he could see deep into what she wished to deny. The truth behind it all.
The Drifter had made this place. A solace from the tragedy of the Zariman. Nightmares she tried to run from, only to go from one hell to another. Nyx was a woman who had gone through too much, too soon. The blood on her hands would drag her under if she had to face it alone. So, recognizing what she would have to come to terms with… he had accepted her call. To the soul that had been screaming for someone, anyone , who wouldn’t abandon her this time.
“The Undercroft is a messy, chaotic place, and you will need to work So hard to keep it together in there, but I believe in you. You've got this!"
The Shadow cut through each enemy in their path, trying to block the words echoing around them from reaching the Drifter. It was a hopeless gesture, but he tried nonetheless. Their fight was a game to those who ruled this land. His existence was a game. In this dream, he was free to act as he pleased. With no ancient whisperings or orders from on high to tighten the chains.
My Daughter wants to save her daughter trapped past the Void. She does not have the strength, and so I send you, My Shadow. Save the Tenno who is Not.
He hadn’t expected much. A Tenno was a Tenno. Child soldiers raised on bloodshed. His natural enemies due to his twisted loyalty to the Orokin. A desperate struggle clinging to one, vain hope, that he could see her again. A hope that had been shorn by the sound of the drums.
The woman who had stood before him in that cave when he entered the waking dream, was anything but. Standing with a ferocity that mirrored her in a strange twist of fate with a soul that was ready to shatter. The wizened Dax hadn’t seen it, but the Shadow could. A spirit that refused to be broken, but knew it was only a matter of time. An aching echo to his centuries of struggle without end. He became numb to the solitude and death. She had become detached from her very self to survive.
Yet in the moments where eyes were off her, she revealed her broken heart. Her soul still fought, but her heart had been shattered so long ago. What he thought had been a matter of time had already happened. She just had nowhere to lay her head down and finally die . Because of course the Tenno were cursed to return again and again until their tasks were done. Especially as he recognized what these golden cradles they sometimes guarded were .
And he knew, that Jade would have fought like hell to save this girl. Jade would have sheltered her without hesitation. She who stood beside him with her head held high so that no one would see her fear. So rather than keep his cards close to his chest, he showed his hand to her. She never asked for his thoughts or words. Only took what he was willing to share. Through their bond he could see her struggle to trust again. Just how many times she had been betrayed. Each death, a carved piece of her heart that died on the spot.
Jade would have loved you. Jade should have been here for you… not me.
His many years as a mercenary assassin worked well. And deep within his soul, he could feel Nyx’s soul ease with each wave he tore to shreds. There was no better balm to a wounded soul than retribution.
The woman, Mathila, leapt from happiness to madness, shrieking at them above as they neared the next doll piece. Within his soul, he felt Nyx recoil from the insanity ringing around them. Her heartbreak that this mother figure had become something twisted and mad. This doll piece lingered within the Undercroft unlike the first. Once in their hands, they retreated once more back to the cave where Teshin awaited them. Only then did Nyx separate from him to head towards where the body of the doll lay.
"You found it! Good! So tell me... did Mathila's joy wear off on you?"
Nyx shot the man a look of disbelief, clutching the arm of the doll close to her chest. Almost unable to keep the tremble out of her voice, she hissed, “You have to be joking. She… lost sight of true happiness a long time ago.”
He said nothing more as she re-attached the piece, braced for what would come this time. It still made her stagger with the force of it.
A family eating together at a table, so familiar yet so alien at the same time. A birthday cake, flying through the air. A mother’s voice scolding them for dropping it. Laughter. A haunting memory of joy that left her breathless. She wanted to reach out to them with a cry.
Our whole lives, we run toward it, some 'thing,' some 'one,' some wavering oasis of joy and contentment. Sad thing is... most happiness seems to come by accident. Maybe it's not about getting it... but letting it.
“You’re smiling.”
She came back to herself with a sharp inhale, turning away from Teshin with rigid shoulders. “...I’m not.” How could she? When she was the reason they were gone ?
"His memories are giving you something. As these emotions flow through you, you take from him his singular power over the world."
“I don’t want shares-ies, I want out ,” she hissed at him, wanting to shake the old Dax. Nevermind that she knew these weren’t Thrax’s memories. Nevermind that her broken heart was waking up with each piece. Her body shook, as the happy moments were marred by the horrid sense of despair that ringed those memories. She knew something else was there, and she didn’t want to find out what.
The Dormizone was lit up with light, and she gazed at it curiously. It was a change, in an unchanging world, so she went to investigate. Not much had happened, but now a plate of warm food sat at the previously empty table. She gazed at it in wonder, righting a fallen chair to sit down. While she couldn’t even really tell if she was hungry, the bite she took was so full of memory and warmth that she found herself blinking back tears.
She left some for Lua, who joined her after a few quiet moments. While she wasn’t sure of her relationship to the mechanical rabbit, she knew there was a forgotten bond there. Instead she retreated to her room to finally let the tears fall. There she cried for a family who wasn’t here anymore. Siblings whose screams still echoed in her mind. The twisted haunting shrieks of monsters she didn’t want to remember.
There in the darkness of the Zariman was where the Shadow found her once more. She wasn’t sure why he sought her out, nor did he explain himself. Maybe he responded to the pain in her own soul. Crying out to not be alone . He knelt beside her bed, but did not approach further. The lines of his body weren't easy to spot in the darkness, but she found comfort in his presence nestled against her soul.
Nyx shook her head, reaching out to grasp his offered hand tightly. Weaving their fingers together like she belonged. It created a lump in her throat she couldn’t speak around. So instead she felt along their bond for his soul.
Just… give me some time. I… I’m starting to remember.
She didn’t have to elaborate. He likely saw more than she intended. Memories of Mathila caring for her in her younger days. Her happiness to have someone resembling a mother once more. The horror as she aged but no one else around her did. A mother who began to forsake everything for happiness. Who would shake a terrified Nyx in her insane rages, screaming that only by casting aside her past could she finally be happy with them here in Duviri. And even once she had… it wasn’t enough.
His hand brushed aside the tears still lingering on her face. Firm but warm metal that always kept her safe. Scarcely two days together and already she couldn’t imagine facing this without him. Nyx clutched at his hand against her face tightly for a moment, glad that his body meant she could cling as tightly as she dared. When she felt ready to let him go, he left with the promise that if she needed him, he would return.
It was some time before she returned to the cave - morning light creeping through the skies outside - knowing her eyes were reddened but refusing to look over at Teshin. Her mentor lifted his head like he wanted to speak, but she ignored him. Nyx looked instead to the Shadow who seemed tense. He didn’t make any motions to stop her, but he stood with a tightness to his shoulders that spoke of his worry.
“Let’s go.” Through the portal they went, though she stood in the lush landscape of Duviri alone. So achingly alone that she wanted to scream. She gazed up at the sky, and tightened her grip on the hilt of Sun and Moon. A voice of a spoiled child echoed down around her, twisting the knife within her broken heart even deeper.
"Who is this new friend of yours, anyway? I made you! I kept you safe all this time. They're nothing I can't be!"
Thrax. Nyx hated hearing him, because of what had been destroyed. She didn’t know if he meant Teshin or the Shadow, but either way she was better off keeping it to herself. The less he knew about what was going on, the better. It would only get worse if he had a target to focus on. Let it be Teshin and not Shadow.
“I am myself. No one else.”
Bombastine, the anchor of the Envy Spiral. Wanting everything he didn’t already have. Duviri, the Undercroft, and to some extent… her . Her skin crawled with it, trying to ignore his voice as it drifted down around her. Obsessively his voice followed her across the plains as she sought the cracks of this world.
"I want what a man of my talent and worth rightly deserves, and that includes the Undercroft that Thrax guards so jealously. Hrrgh… Off you pop."
The Undercroft didn’t belong to Thrax, but she wasn’t about to correct the courtier. While she knew the Shadow would pick up on her unease as she stepped through the entrance to the Undercroft, she still tried to smother it within her heart. Their bond made her an open book if she didn’t fight it. As always, she jumped into Transference quickly, but this time he seemed… Irritated?
Shadow?
He didn’t answer in words. A memory. One of her own. Bombastine, circling her like a vulture. Nyx didn’t have to spell it out for the Shadow. She could feel his disgust towards their tormentor this time. The doll had always lamented that she ‘belonged’ to Dominus Thrax. Tracing her face like she was a precious toy. As it was a children’s book, she had believed she had been in no danger at the time. Her skin still crawled all the same with the memory. One she violently smashed down before Shadow could look too far into it.
Please don’t make me remember, Shadow. The sooner I get out of here, the sooner I never have to see him again.
He agreed completely. Unwilling to remind her that Duviri had been a children’s book. Now as a world all its own, the torment she had been put through was real. At least shutting the void-gates was a cake walk. With his ability to dash from enemy to enemy, and go completely undetected, they closed each gate in record time. Dolls faded away as the Undercroft was calmed, but it didn’t stop Nyx’s hesitation as she stepped free of Transference. She sighed and gazed up at the portal that would lead her back out to Duviri, unwilling to go back to her solitude or the watchful eye of Bombastine.
Cold metal suddenly pressed into her hand, and she almost jumped at the contact. She looked down at the culprit, only to see one of the Shadow’s knives settled comfortably in her grasp. Confused, she looked up at him. His frame was contemplative in a way she had never seen before, with his hands covering hers to keep the knife in her hand.
“But… this is yours…” she tried, and he shook his head. Their bond flared to life, and she could feel his intent. While he could not follow her to the surface, if anyone tried to get close, this would be better than a full blade or a gun. He was worried .
Let me protect you on the surface as well.
Nyx swallowed hard, clutching the ebony knife like a lifeline. It was such a small gesture. Realistically it should have simply been practical. Nothing more than giving her some better way to defend herself from any surprise attacks. Yet knowing he was watching out for her even when he couldn’t be around… when he didn’t have to. She could only crack a watery smile in response. With a steadying breath, she faced Duviri once more. Bombastine’s demented whispers crawled uncomfortably down her spine, leaving her checking over her shoulder each time she heard him. She wanted it to be over. Yet the worst line spilled from the envious man’s soul.
“ It's not fair! The things I did were supposed to break her, not make her his favorite! I was meant to be the one who was loved! It wasn't me that started stirring up this mess with the executions.”
She urged her Kaithe to fly faster, running from memories that nipped at her heels. Thrax had gotten sick of her disobedience and attempts to leave the book, and so gave her over to Bombastine. A jealous man who could not understand why she was the focus of their king’s attention. So he sought to crush her soul. Snapping bones, thinly veiled threats that she didn’t even want to consider, torture until she almost breathed her last. She snatched the hand of the doll out of the energy that suspended it in the air, just as Thrax’s voice echoed above her.
"It wasn't me that started stirring up this mess with the executions. You got it in your head to get out. Don't you see now that these stories are for you? For us?"
“How could they possibly be for me when all they do is crush me to pieces?!” she screamed at the sky. “I don’t belong here! I’m getting out, one way or another!” Every single one of them echoed the same sentiment. Shifting the blame to her when they were the ones who killed her daily. Making her believe that if only she hadn’t tried to leave none of this would have happened. It was a belief that was difficult to shake. Self-blame easy to rise to the surface after centuries of backing from her tormentors.
He didn’t answer her the whole ride back to Teshin’s cave. Why would he when she refused to listen? Nyx could hardly keep in her tears and her desire to return to the safety of Shadow’s presence. He would protect her. He always had. But when she made it to the cave, Teshin was alone. No Shadow, no Lua. It set her on edge. This was all wrong. Where was Shadow?
“No Lua?” she asked as she slowly approached the doll, her soul screaming for Shadow. There was static between her bond, and it terrified her. The wizened Dax gave only a grunt in return, and she shrugged it off to keep the appearance of indifference. Fear closed her throat as she reattached the hand to the doll, and her mind flew from her once more.
A family of three, prepared for what looked like a photograph. Yet… not far off… a shadowy child, left out and alone. Envy and resentment burning deep in their heart. The perfect brother… and the failure of the sister.
Nothing's worse than anger, right? It burns your lungs. It ashes the trees. But you can see it, right? And after it passes... maybe something new sprouts up. But resentment... resentment is desolation. It salts the soil so that nothing ever grows again.
When she came back to herself, there was a sword at her throat. She glanced at her mentor, and the strange light in his eyes, and knew this wasn’t Teshin. Whatever had hold of him or was pretending to be him, it was part of Duviri falling apart. Thrax was losing control.
“Didn't see it coming did you? That I was just using you? You think there's some magic land outside of here, all there is... is war and suffering. Understand?" Even his voice sounded… off. Echoed unnaturally even within this cave. She hissed from the pain, feeling the skin of her neck splitting. All she needed to do was keep him talking.
“I… think so,” she managed, talking as carefully as she could to avoid cutting herself on the sword even more. The static lifted, and she cried out to Shadow who reacted with alarm. He was hurrying to her side, and that gave her the strength to keep ‘Teshin’ talking.
"Do you? Do you really? You keep calling this a prison, but you know what it really is? It's the only place in the entire universe that is... Actually . Safe ." Amazing how Thrax could believe that after everything he pulled. He and his courtiers. Murdering a child every damn day until that child wasn’t so little anymore. How he couldn’t see why she would want to leave.
Nyx barked a harsh laugh. “‘Safe’ didn’t break my heart for years. ‘Safe’ didn’t kill me over and over for the fun of it. Duviri is many things… but ‘safe’ is not one of them.”
"You had it all. A whole world to yourself. But you were bored. Ungrateful. You had to bite the hand that feeds!" Teshin sounded almost manic. And she knew it was Thrax. Once more trying to beg her not to leave. Not to break this world apart at the seams.
It didn’t matter. She remembered now. She knew who the true ruler of Duviri had always been.
“Like Lua, huh?” Nyx asked, watching the confusion enter ‘Teshin’s’ eyes. I’ve got you.
“Like… what ?”
The Shadow launched in from somewhere off to the side, body-checking Teshin into the nearest cave wall. He wrapped an arm around Nyx as she coughed, clutching at her neck and shaking from how close she’d come to another death. Shadow shook with a deep seated anger, but she patted his arm to soothe him. This was going to be a nasty fight… but they were nearing the end. Together they watched as ‘Teshin’ melted away into another living doll. A mechanical warrior. It got up to its feet and lunged at them both with a scream. She barely managed to escape into Transference before they were grabbed by this doll and tossed into a new portal.
"Once upon a time... there was a dying old man..."
The Undercroft was… strange. Like it was devoid of color. Wraiths charged the Shadow, and she could only cringe as he fought them off one by one. This wasn’t like any other spiral. Thrax was lashing out wildly, and the Undercroft was responding to the thrashing. All the while, that doll’s voice continued their little story for them to hear.
“...As he lay on his bed, dying... he called to each of his beloved children..."
Drifter!
Nyx perked up. Was Teshin calling for her? He sounded so far… but at least that meant he was okay. Where had he gone? Had Thrax gotten a hold of him?
"When each did hear his rasping call, they answered with a hollow longing!"
Drifter!
“Teshin? Teshin!” Nyx called out, glad she could focus on this while the Shadow fought. Their consciousness didn’t have to handle both tasks at once. There was no answer, so they continued their way through the changed Undercroft to find their way to freedom.
“ So they came to his bedside one by one, and his firstborn knelt there, and the old man said, 'my child... my child... why be your eyes so dry?'"
The voice continued, but this time Nyx could recognize it as Thrax. Of course he would lash out now that she was almost free. So close to the truth of it all. To who she was. To the exit she had fought for all of these years.
"And the firstborn said, 'So that I might be strong, father.' And so the old man gave to them the deeds for all his lands."
Time and space warped around them. Far enough that she could no longer tell how much time was passing. Duviri was lashing out at her. Days and nights bled together while Thrax continued his little story, sneering down at them as phantoms rushed the duo from all sides.
"To his second born, he said again, 'my child... my child... why be your eyes so dry?'"
She fought to empower Shadow as much as she could. Using the Void to wipe away the exhaustion. How long had they been fighting? Nyx blinked back tears, even as Shadow’s grim determination kept propelling them forward.
“And his second child said, 'I shed no tears, father, for I chose now to remember only the joy you made of my life.' And so unto him, the old man gave his family home."
Nyx tried to drop out of Transference to help, but Shadow snarled. His soul gripped onto hers fiercely. If she left, then he couldn’t protect her. So she needed to stay. Put.
It hurt to watch him suffer just for her. For dragging him into this. She didn’t try to fight him; knowing it would just distract him from staying alive. Throwing everything she could into strengthening his body. Stars protect us.
“And when his last child had entered, he said again, 'my child, my child, you were my favorite of all. Why show you no feelings at all?'"
She couldn’t hold their connection any longer. Feeling weak from the large amount of Void she’d had to spend, she crumpled to the ground beside Shadow’s feet. His alarm was plain across their bond, but she was trying so hard to not pass out. Nyx dimly felt him wrap his arms around her, using his power to hide them both. All they had to do was survive . She pressed one hand to the side of his neck, feeling the thrum of power almost like a pulse racing beneath. His terror that she had fallen.
"And the last child said to him. 'I feel nothing, for it was I... who has killed you.'"
When the portal back to the cave finally opened, after their long fight for survival, Shadow scooped her up in his arms and dashed through with all his might. The cave was the same as it had been before, with Lua cowering far against the cave wall where Thrax paid the creature no mind. Nyx tapped Shadow’s arm, feeling his reluctance as he set her unsteadily on her feet.
She lifted her pistol, silver eyes flashing violet with the rising tide of the Void within her.
“Where is he?” she hissed, feeling the Shadow settle into a crouch beside her with his scythe drawn. With him by her side she felt brave enough to turn on her ‘friend’, weakened as she was. ‘Thrax’ laughed and settled into a regal stance of his own. A stance he used to show off to her and claim was refined. Now the memory burned the backs of her eyes and ignited the embers of hurt in her heart.
“Don’t you worry. Justice comes swiftly in my kingdom.”
The doll readied their blade in a wide stance, tip pointed forward. Seeing this, Nyx responded by lifting her Sirocco and firing right into their face to break their concentration. The Shadow wasted no time in following up with a mighty leap through the shadows, scythe meeting sword with a screeching metallic clang that hurt her ears. She was glad for his assistance. Leaving her at long-range so she didn’t have to move. With how weakened she was, it was a miracle she could fire her gun at all.
Thrax’s doll quickly ran out of patience, making several attempts to get around Shadow to go for her, but was blocked each time by a furious Warframe getting in his way. Lua, seeing its chance, made a mighty leap past Shadow’s shoulder to tackle the doll to the ground. Where the little bunny proceeded to rip the doll apart until Thrax released it from his hold.
Nyx stood in stunned silence for a moment, before laughing as she knelt down to pet the bunny. “Good job, Lua.” She could almost swear Lua looked proud of itself. Shaking her head, she smiled softly. “We’ll bring Teshin back to you. Guard the cave, alright?”
Getting to her feet was easier said than done. She stumbled in her attempt, before Shadow gently grasped her arm and helped steady her. It was easy to accept his assistance, even if she was reluctant to leave. Nyx rested her head against his chest, mentally preparing herself for what would likely be the last time she’d see him. A phantom of her own making or not. He still had been her pillar against her despair and apathy. The thought of goodbye tightened her throat near the point of tears.
Nyx looked up at him, gripping onto his arms both to steady herself and to keep a hold on him in case he was just a figment of her imagination. With trembling lips, she finally spoke softly: “I know we haven’t been together for all that long. But… if we make it out of this… will we see each other on the flip side?” Nyx didn’t expect an answer. He hadn’t spoken in all this time. It wasn’t like there was any reason for him to reply. A nod would do. Any kind of reassurance that he wasn’t a figment of her power.
What she didn’t expect was for him to draw her into an embrace. She’d settled in his arms a couple times now, but this was different. He clutched her to him like a man loathe to let her go. It sent her heart into confused flutters mixed with a surge of tears she couldn’t hold back, and she could do nothing but hug him just as tightly in return. Sword-steel skin was warm against her own, even as his bigger frame bent over hers. Her eyes shut tight against the tide of emotion, but it did nothing to stop the tears slipping down her cheeks.
Don’t go. Her heart pleaded with a desperation she hadn’t acknowledged until now. Don’t leave me alone again.
A whisper echoed through the cave for the first time, making her eyes go wide in shock. A rasping growl of a voice that crawled out from the shadows to caress her soul.
“ I will never hurt you. ”
A voice that resonated with a deep hatred. Battered to the point of desperation yet still always holding onto a faint glimmer of hope. It was beyond the voice she’d expected him to have, yet it fit him all the same. Nyx could only clutch him tighter, a sob breaking free before she could stop it. He had given her a gift two-fold. Within his one statement was the promise that they would see each other again.
“I know you won’t,” she replied, her voice breaking. “I… I should go. This won’t end until I do.”
The Shadow slowly released her, brushed aside her tears after seeing how much she had recovered, then nodded and stepped back. He hated sending her off alone, but he could not follow her to Duviri’s surface. Their bond was alight with his belief that she could succeed. To bury the strange emotion tickling her heart, she rushed out through the portal to the stormy landscape above.
Wind howled through the skies, carrying Thrax’s booming voice as he decreed that Kaithes were banned - killing the plan to get there quickly and through brute force. He was aware she was on her way, and both of them knew how this would end.
As she ran, Thrax shifted through various emotions, and the sky changed to match.
He was happy to see her fighting for her freedom. So ready and willing to face combat. A vibrance matched by the saturated colors of the world around her. As Dax dolls fell around her, his glee only grew.
He was angry that she was fighting at all. Why couldn’t she be happy here ? This world was theirs to shape as they saw fit! Hostile reds that turned her race to the palace into a war-torn battlefield.
She never cared this much for him. Greens of envy as he screamed. Who could she possibly be fighting for? Nothing was out there! No one loved her more than he did!
Nyx approached the bridge, seeing her ticket across. A Dax rider stood with his blade drawn as his Kaithe pranced uneasily beneath him. When he charged, she threw herself through the Void in a rush of power. She wrestled the Dax rider for his Kaithe, knowing she would need it to cross the broken bridge. Once she was settled on its back, she urged it quickly across the gap to spread its wings. Just as she thought she was across, an Orowyrm flew up from beneath her to collide with her body, knocking her off her Kaithe and through the air with the wind knocked out of her lungs. For a brief moment… everything went black as her already weakened body couldn’t take the pain.
A beat.
Wake up, Tenno.
A woman’s voice.
A mother’s.
Lotus?
Nyx woke with a surge of power, twisting and using the void to buffer her fall. She staggered to her feet past the agony screaming within her body, drawing her blades. By some mercy she was on the side she needed to be, with enough bruises to show for it. So with a sharp cry she charged into the dolls in her way, tearing them down much like the Shadow had for so many days now. He wasn’t here to save her anymore. She had to do this alone. As she did so, Lodun shrieked angrily over the city. Familiar words that used to fill her with grief and agony.
"By order of his majesty, Dominus Thrax, you are charged with the crime of treason!"
Today she would not be the one to die.
"The penalty for which is DEATH! DEATH BY IMPALEMENT!"
Those words would never end in her death ever again.
In the courtyard where she had met her end too many times to count, she found Teshin kneeling and weak. He was already on his way to death; his robes soaked through with blood that pooled beneath him on the stone. This time he had been the one to be executed, though he had slain the dolls all around him before his wounds even stopped his stride. Nyx knelt beside him, clasping his shoulder just as he did to hers.
“Take care… of Lua for me…” he rasped.
She nodded. “I will.”
He looked at her face, reading the emotions in her eyes. She was no longer running. Heart blazing with life, and soul awakened out of its slumber. The Shadow had breathed life back into her bones, and now she knew who she was. What Duviri was. And the power she’d cast aside.
“You are feeling, now…” he whispered, proud. He saw the rage on her face, as the sky flickered red. No more could this measly cage built by a child hold the adult she had become.
“I am,” Nyx growled, ready to put an end to this. She moved to stand, hefting Sun and Moon. Her pain felt so far away. Emotion and the Void fueled her now. The warmth in her heart that lingered from Shadow’s presence held her together. Teshin’s guidance directed the path for her vengeance.
Teshin let out a “Good…” before he finally met his end, but it would not be the end. She would see to that.
Nyx lifted her chin a fraction, gazing up at the palace where she once stayed. Memories of playing there as a young teenager with the closest friend the Void could conjure. Rage boiled in her heart, with the cold certainty of what to do. The roar of an Orowyrm sounded in the skies behind her. That was her ticket. Beasts wearing the souls of the Courtiers, but containers for pieces of her heart that had been shattered. The dragons were mirrors of herself.
She turned and threw her Transference with all the strength she had, taking control of the Wyrm glowing with the fires of hatred. It was certainly a skin too big for her at first, but right now she didn’t care. Rage fueled her heart to burn away the rest of her reluctance. This was ending… Today. She took a moment to familiarize herself with her new body; twisting in the skies to eventually turn on the others that arrived behind her. Thrax snarled at her as she roasted one out of the air with her fire.
"Stop this childish tantrum RIGHT NOW! Do you understand? He's dead and gone and he's not coming back!"
Her serpentine body snaked through the skies towards the other wyrms, roaring a challenge. The others were simply puppets, she knew. Thrax had not enough control to make them attack her all at once. But this was her domain. Had always been. She had simply lost her way and allowed a spoiled child the reins. Another one fell to her breath.
"I don't care how angry you get! You can't change ANYTHING. You can't even change yourself!"
She had changed. Learned to fight and push back against the crushing weight of despair. Learned that she wasn’t alone. That despite the dread surrounding her once-lost memories, she could continue to fight her way through the hate. And knowing that he was waiting, believing in her ability to march forward, knowing she would pull through, she knew she would finally break free. Another fell.
“Jealous of my wyrms? You think stealing them will bring him back? Are you stupid? It's TOO LATE!"
It was telling that he thought she was doing this all for Teshin. That he had no idea what moved her now. No idea that the only one she truly trusted was a suit of living bio-armor. Nyx bore down on the final wyrm, glowing red and howling her fury to the skies. Never again would she bow to another. Never again would she die a pointless death. She headed towards the spire of the palace, coiling her long body around it to crush the stone.
Within, sitting on his empty throne, the child-king stumbled and fell as rubble crashed down from above. Down the steps he fell, until he was laying at her feet. The head of the doll bounced away from his hands, where she picked it up to stare down at this stupid thing that had kept her trapped for so long. He whimpered and reached for it, but not before she returned it to its rightful place.
Connecting the head of the doll gave her the final memory. The Zariman, under attack within the Void. The screams of people twisted into monstrosities. The halls painted red with her desperate fight to survive. Her doll of Thrax, resting next to the open childhood storybook of the Kingdom of Duviri as she cried in the long days of solitude. The whispers of the madman who coaxed her into escaping for her survival. This had always been her escape. Her world. “This…this is…”
“MINE!” Thrax ripped the doll from her hands, sobbing like the greedy child he was and stumbling away from her as he curled half over the doll. The child she had been, fed into a character never meant to exist. Still broken from her loss and what she’d had to do. Brought to life when no one asked to live in an endless loop of time. This was the flawed world of a storybook hardly understood by a pre-teen. Nyx sighed, approaching the throne that had begun to put itself together as time wound slowly backwards.
“Mine… Mine… It’s mine…!”
His simpering didn’t go unnoticed. She just didn’t care anymore. Nyx climbed up onto the throne, feeling the power curling in her veins. Power she’d always had, but tossed away in attempts to just be happy . The void curled under her fingertips with glee, eager after being separated from her for so long.
“You… can fucking have it. ” Her fist came down on the arm of the throne, and time wound back. Nyx was sick of this place, and wanted out. Yet… these had been her friends, once. Family. Deserving of at least a place to live. Characters she had given life. She could not even consider cruelly taking that from them now that they knew the breath of existence. So she gave up her hold on it, handing it over to the Child-King in a… quieter capacity. He could not trap anyone here ever again. But this was finally his world. He could protect those she’d loved once upon a time.
She was free.
“-you're thinking... is this real? Or some fevered dream?"
When she came to, she was in Teshin’s cave. He was well and whole, with Lua happily in his arms. She sagged with relief, finally giving her mentor a tired smile. Finally releasing the distrust and the hate she’d once harbored for the man. Teshin recognized what happened as soon as she did so, taking in her exhausted state and the settled Void within her body.
“You did it,” he praised softly. “You took control.”
She shrugged. “I always had it.” It had been a hell of her own making. It felt silly, at the end of the day, but at least she was no longer held in stasis. In a way this place had been what she’d needed to come to terms with what happened on the Zariman. “Thrax didn’t make this place-”
“-you did. But… you reset it. You gave it all to him. Why?” She didn’t need him to understand, but she glanced out of the cave to the bright skies above.
“...It just… felt like a good trade. My freedom, for his home.”
Teshin hummed an acknowledgement. Then his expression grew worried. “Those beyond the wall have helped you. You will need to repay that debt. But… you have earned your freedom. A way through the paradox and out of the spiral.” He shifted his weight, as if considering his next words. “Be warned… there will be another. One as you were then. Do you see it? The other side?”
Nyx almost could. A mother who waited for her return. A younger self much like a little sister rather than the same soul, now. Hundreds of brothers and sisters. Tenno.
The Shadow.
She whirled around, realizing he wasn’t here. Had he been sent back when she rewound time? This was before Teshin had called forth the Warframes to their cave. Something collapsed in her heart, and she blinked back tears. Never again would she spend a night safe in his arms. Protected and cradled in the safety of his soul. Would they really ever see each other again? Or had he been someone she’d created out of a need for protection? Realizing she hadn’t answered Teshin, she cleared her throat before speaking. “I… see it.”
“What will you do?” he asked.
Yes, the option was open for her to stay. To live with the new strength she had earned. Yet… she found herself itching to see the world outside the paradox. She looked back at Teshin with a smile, and he nodded back at her. They would see each other again. Anytime she wished to return to this waking dream.
Sometimes you get stuck. Sometimes you go numb. The color drains away. You stop trying, and that just feeds the spiral going down. Maybe you'll get lucky one day. You see yourself in the mirror and snap out of it. But for some of us... it takes more. A friend. A stranger. A story. A helping hand.