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Things are finally looking up. Christopher is readjusting well to life in LA and seems happy to be back home. Eddie’s papers for reinstatement at the 118 finally got approved, and he’s returning to work next week. He’s at a bar with his friends, celebrating their team being back together. Karen convinced everyone to drink cocktails tonight, and after a couple of drinks they started to throw in some shots. Maddie, who’d been sipping juice, took off as soon as it started to get crowded and loud, taking her already significantly drunk husband with her. Soon after, Bobby and Athena left, with Ravi joining them since Bobby was the only one who could give him a ride. Now, Hen, Karen, Eddie and Buck are the only ones left.
Eddie is sitting in a booth, sipping on his drink. He glances at Buck, who is sitting across from him, chatting animatedly with Hen and Karen, and feels warmth spreading through his chest. For over a month now, he has been living with the realization that he is in love with his best friend. It took him nearly a month of living in Texas to realize that what he feels about Buck—the aching to constantly be near him, the need to talk to him, make him laugh, tease him, and annoy him—is love. Even with hundreds of miles lying between them, Buck still was his anchor and support. If Buck hadn’t pushed him to reach out to Chris more, he wouldn’t have gotten his son back home as quickly as he did. He realized that Buck is his person, and no matter in what way, he needs to make sure Buck stays in his life. Ideally, as his husband.
Since he had decided a long time ago to never keep anything big from Chris again, he told him about his feelings for Buck. And Chris, being the best son ever, asked him to take him back home. Now, they’ve been living in their old house for nearly three weeks with Buck, who kept it warm for them without even realizing it.
His staring is interrupted by Hen’s voice, which is directed at her wife. “Babe, it’s time to go home. Let’s relieve May of her babysitting duty. She probably planned to do something better with her Friday night.”
Karen finishes her cocktail in one go. “Okay, let's go. Bye, boys, have fun!”
They hug Buck and Eddie goodbye and go away, giggling about something.
Buck sits down next to Eddie, pressing their thighs together. They chat about whatever comes into their minds, easy as always, then Buck puts his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “Man, I’m so happy you’re back. Now I have someone to drink with again,” he slurs into his ear and raises his glass. “I mean, Ravi is cool, but it’s not the same without you.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to be back,” Eddie agrees. “I haven’t gone out like this in ages.”
Buck perks up. “We should go out more! Just you and me, to make up for the lost time.”
“I’ll drink to that,” says Eddie as he raises his shot glass. They both drink.
The night is almost perfect. He’s with his best friend, free of any responsibilities for the night, drinking the most delicious cocktails he’s tasted in his life, fruity but still very strong (he makes a mental note to thank Karen for the recommendation later). He’s got that pleasant buzz flowing through him. He’s truly enjoying himself for the first time in god knows how long. There’s only one issue: the music here is shit.
The next song starts playing, and it’s one Eddie absolutely hates. “I hate this song,” he groans, pressing his forehead against Buck’s shoulder.
Buck chuckles and ducks his head. “Shame, I was gonna ask if you wanted to dance.”
“Oh,” Eddie raises his head. Damn it. Why did he have to open his mouth? “Um, I do. It’s just, the last couple of songs have been kinda shit. Let’s wait for a good one, that’s actually danceable?”
Buck hums thoughtfully in agreement. Suddenly, he perks up again. “You know what? I’ll go ask the DJ to play something else,” he says excitedly as he scans the room with his eyes, searching for the DJ. “Do you think they accept requests?”
“Worth a shot. Even if they don’t, just charm her with your smile and she’ll play whatever you want,” Eddie says, leaning back in his seat.
Buck huffs and downs his drink. “Okay, I’m going. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” Eddie chuckles and follows him with his eyes as Buck walks up to the DJ. He asks her something, smiling brightly. No doubt he’s using his flirting voice. Eddie feels uneasy at the thought. Her gaze is fixed on Buck’s face as she listens to him, but then she tells him something, shaking her head. He looks at Eddie for a second, then turns back to her again with a determined look. Eddie lowers his head and takes a few sips of his cocktail. He might need to go grab them a couple more drinks. When he looks for Buck again, he spots him crouching behind the DJ set. What is he doing? Did he drop something? Then everything goes quiet. There’s no music, no chatter. Other patrons take their eyes off their tables to see what’s going on. Everyone on the dance floor is looking at Buck. Buck is just standing there like a deer caught in the headlights.
“SEAN!” the DJ calls. A second later, a lanky young man who seems to be the manager strides over to her. Eddie stands up, ready to go over there and help resolve whatever issue they have with Buck, even though he has clearly done something stupid. In the silence, he can hear what they are saying.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. If you don’t cooperate, we’ll have to escort you out forcefully,” says the man, as the security guard appears behind him.
“What?” Buck says dumbly, looking around.
The security guard grabs him by the forearm and starts to lead him towards the exit. This seems to snap him back to reality.
“I’m not leaving without my friend,” Buck exclaims, finding Eddie with his eyes. “Eddie! Eddie! They’re kicking me out!” His voice bounces around the room. He’s smiling as if being kicked out by the bouncer is the best thing that’s happened to him all week. What an idiot. Eddie is so gone.
“Sir, you can stay, but he needs to leave,” the manager turns to Eddie. “He’s caused a disruption at our establishment. He’s barred.”
The music resumes, and it’s the same fucking song all over again.
“One minute, I’m going to close the tab and we’ll leave,” Eddie answers.
Outside, the cool air gently brushes against their faces. It’s nice. Buck rests his head against the wall. “They kicked us out!” he giggles.
“They kicked you out,” Eddie points out. “What did you do?”
“I very politely asked her to change the song,” Buck says innocently. Eddie raises his eyebrows skeptically. “She refused, so I unplugged the system.”
“Why would you do that?” Eddie asks, his voice filled with exasperation and amusement.
“You didn’t like the song,” Buck says with such ease, looking at Eddie earnestly. And Eddie’s heart soars. He’s constantly swept off his feet by the things Buck does for him. Sure, some of them are dumb, but it’s clear that they’re motivated by sheer love. Hope surges through Eddie’s chest. Maybe Buck loves him in the same way, maybe he even gets to marry him. It takes all the self-control he has left not to spill everything right here and now — on this dark street in front of some bar they'll probably never step foot in again, with a group of drunk young people talking loudly just a few feet away.
“Let’s go home,” he says instead, taking out his phone to order an Uber. He doesn’t want to do it drunk, when there’s a possibility one of them won’t remember it in the morning or they will play it off as a joke. He needs to do it sober so Buck knows he means it. And he needs to do it as soon as possible because he can’t hold it in much longer.
***
That’s why he is extremely antsy the next couple of days. He wants to tell Buck everything but he can’t find the right moment. Buck is either recovering from a nasty hangover, busy at work, or exhausted after. Eddie is vibrating with anticipation and he just can’t seem to act normal around Buck. He can’t sit still when they’re watching a movie together on the couch, mere inches separating them, or when they’re cooking or having breakfast together in the kitchen without Christopher acting as a buffer. And Buck must sense that something is up because he’s gotten jumpy as well. When they almost bump into each other in the hallway one time, Buck apologizes and runs off to another room. During dinner, when they both reach for bread at the same time and their fingers touch, he pulls his hand back quickly as if he got electrocuted.
That’s how they find themselves folding laundry on the couch one evening. Buck is subdued and a bit fidgety.
“I’ve been thinking,” Buck begins carefully.
“Didn’t know you could do that,” Eddie says, trying to diffuse the tension a little.
“Ha ha,” Buck deadpans. “I’ve been thinking, we should switch beds.”
Eddie is confused. “Why?”
“Come on, man. You shouldn’t sleep on the couch in your own house,” Buck says exasperatedly.
“It’s your house too.”
Buck shakes his head. “It’s not my house, Eddie. It was always yours and Christopher’s. Now that you’re back and I’m still here, it feels too cramped. It feels like, I don’t know, like I don’t belong here.” Eddie drops the shirt he was folding and rubs his chin, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “But I’ve been looking at apartments and I’ll find a place soon,” Buck continues placatingly. “I’ll be fine on the couch for a couple of weeks.”
Eddie turns to Buck and hugs him tightly. He feels Buck tense up for a moment, but then he relaxes and wraps his arms around him just as tightly. “You’ve done so much for us. I guess Chris and I got a little too comfortable having you here all the time. Of course you need your own space. I’m sorry, Buck.”
“It’s okay,” Buck murmurs into his neck.
They stay like this for probably longer than necessary. When they finally pull apart, Eddie’s hand lingers on Buck’s shoulder, his finger brushing his collar bone. Eddie looks at Buck and sees sadness in his eyes. Or maybe it’s longing. Maybe it’s Buck silently asking him to say something, to do something. He is desperately hoping that he is not wrong. He looks at his lips for a brief moment, then starts tentatively getting closer. When he’s gotten just an inch closer, Buck’s eyes widen.
“What are you doing?” he asks, sounding mildly panicked.
Eddie pulls his hand back as if Buck’s skin burned him. “I was… trying to kiss you,” he says, his voice growing quieter and more uncertain with each word.
“Why were you trying to kiss me?” Buck’s voice is slightly high-pitched.
“I thought… Never mind. I’m sorry,” Eddie responds, picking up the abandoned shirt and trying to resume what he was doing as if nothing life-changing—and possibly friendship-ruining—has happened.
“No, you thought what?” Buck pushes.
“I’m sorry, Buck, okay?” he keeps his head down, focusing on the laundry.
“Stop apologizing. You don’t have to apologize. Just tell me. What did you think?” Buck pleads.
Eddie musters up the courage to look him in the eye. “I thought you wanted me to kiss you,” he mutters.
Buck lets out a strangled sound. “Eddie, I don’t want you to kiss me just for my sake. I know you’re straight. I’m a big boy, I’ll get over it.”
“Get over what?” he looks at Buck, his eyes wide.
Buck doesn’t answer for a long moment. “You. My feelings for you. I’m— You just told me you figured out I’m in love with you,” he says, sounding frustrated.
“Buck, I didn’t—”
“Nothing has to change. I’ll move out. Just don’t make me stop seeing Chris and—”
“Don’t get over it,” Eddie cuts him off.
“What?” Buck looks at him in bewilderment.
“Don’t get over it. I’m in love with you too. I realized it while I was living in Texas. And Chris knows. He’s okay with it. He told me to tell you,” Eddie smiles.
“Yeah?” Buck is beaming now.
“Yeah,” Eddie assures him. “Don’t move out. Stay with us. Sleep in my bed. With me.”
“Okay,” Buck nods.
“Good.”
Buck ducks his head and smiles shyly before continuing to fold the forgotten laundry. Eddie does the same, but he can’t stop smiling. The silence is comfortable yet slightly charged. Now that Eddie knows they’re on the same page, he feels a rush of pleasant anticipation.
After a minute, Buck speaks up. “There’s this new documentary on blue whales at the Science Center. I asked Chris if he wanted to go see it ‘cause we haven’t gone out together to do something like this in a while, and he said yes. So, we’re going this weekend.” A pause. Eddie hums without looking up. “You’re welcome to join us, of course,” Buck adds quickly. “I know documentaries aren’t really your thing but—”
“Marry me,” Eddie blurts out, without thinking. Except he did. He’s been thinking about it for the last few weeks and can’t hold it in anymore.
“What?” Buck snaps his head to look at him.
“Marry me,” Eddie repeats, voice firm and smile wide.
“Are you serious? We haven’t even had our first kiss yet.”
“We would have if you hadn’t stopped me,” Eddie grins.
Buck shoves him lightly in the chest. “You asshole. You know what I mean,” he feigns indignation, but his eyes are sparkling with joy.
“I know. Buck, the way I feel about you, I have never felt so strongly about anyone in my life, aside from Chris. I know I will never love anyone again the way I love you,” he says, taking Buck’s hand. “And I’ve felt this way for so long, it’s all encompassing. I didn’t even realize it was that kind of love until you weren’t around anymore. When I was in El Paso, I felt like I was missing a limb even though we still talked every day. Even though I was so unbelievably happy to have Chris back. I feel the happiest when I have both of you, like right now. And I want it to stay that way forever.”
Buck wipes away tears rolling down his cheek. “Same here.”
Now it’s Eddie’s turn to shove him. “I bare my soul before you, and that’s all I get? Same here?”
Buck giggles and grabs his cheeks. “I love you both endlessly and I’m happiest when I have you both too. You’re my family. Of course I’ll marry you.”
Eddie lets out a relieved laugh. He feels lightheaded. “Now, can I kiss you?”
In lieu of an answer, Buck leans closer and connects their lips in a tender kiss. It doesn’t last long because they can’t stop smiling, giddy from all the revelations and their newfound happiness. But that’s all right, they have the rest of their lives to make up for it.
***
Eddie wakes up to an empty bed. He hears clattering sounds coming from the kitchen. Buck must be making breakfast. Eddie puts on a T-shirt and sweats before coming out of the bedroom. As he quietly approaches the kitchen, he hears soft voices.
“Yeah, and it’s interactive!” He guesses they talk about the new exhibit that Buck wanted to take Chris to. He promised Eddie it wouldn’t be boring for a teenager. Buck himself seems very excited, but that doesn't tell Eddie anything; he’s generally more excited about such things than Chris is nowadays.
Chris hums in agreement. Eddie takes a step forward, but stops when Chris suddenly speaks. “Buck?”
“Hm?”
“I noticed the couch was empty all night. Did Dad sleep in your room?”
“Uh, yeah,” Buck answers hesitantly.
“Are you two together now?” Chris asks bluntly.
“Yes. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay. As long as I don’t lose you if you break up.”
“Hey, no, you’re not going to lose me,” Buck rushes to reassure him. “First of all, we’re not planning on breaking up, ever. Second, if something does happen and we break up, I won’t disappear from your life unless you want me to. Pinky promise.”
Chris sighs. “Okay.” Eddie can’t see them fully but he knows they’re crossing their pinkies, as Buck taught him a long time ago.
“I love you,” Buck says softly and presses a kiss into Christopher’s curls.
“I love you, too. And I’m happy for you guys.”
Eddie’s heart is full to the brim with love for these two people. He wants to charge into the kitchen and envelop them both in the biggest, warmest hug.
“Are you going to get married?” Chris asks, teasingly.
Eddie can’t stand still anymore. Without letting Buck answer, he walks into the kitchen and says, “We are.”
Chris beams at him. He stands up from his chair, goes up to him and hugs him. “I’m happy for you, Dad. Told you it would be okay,” he says into Eddie’s chest.
“You did,” says Eddie and kisses him on the top of his head.
Chris wordlessly reaches his arm out in Buck’s direction, inviting him into the hug. Buck breaks into a radiant smile, walks up to them, and wraps one arm around Eddie and the other around Chris. Eddie buries his face in the hollow of his shoulder. They stay like this for a few moments. Eddie feels calm and settled. They’re finally home.