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⌚️12:13
“Sidney, this is Charlotte. Your one job today is to make sure my favourite person at work enjoys herself and that Edward does not come on to her. Is that understood?” Mary looked sternly at her handsome brother-in-law.
“Charm, entertain, protect. Got it,” Sidney grinned, offering his hand to the woman with the amused expression next to Mary. “I am Sidney.”
“So, I gathered. Charlotte,” she said and took his hand. “And you are the safe haven here today?” She looked at him with mock scepticism.
“Yes, the very epitome of a protective gentleman, willing to offer his services to a damsel in distress. I have a girlfriend, you see, so you are quite safe with me.” He kept her hand in his for a little too long.
“Perfect,” Mary exclaimed with exasperation in her voice. “I have to go do shit. Diana is sick and I do not trust Arthur with decorating the cakes and handling food in general. And you—” she said, effectively blocking Charlotte and Sidney from offering their help. “—Are here as guests.”
Sidney looked at Charlotte, who looked nothing like the other guests at Tom and Mary’s garden party. Most were his brother’s business connections, all dressed as if they were going to the Ascot. But his new companion wore a white tank top and tan shorts, Birkenstocks on her feet. Her brown curls were gathered in a messy bun. The only ornament was a pair of Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses.
He was the only man in shorts too, by stubborn principle, refusing to come off as a preppy nepo baby just because his brother had airs. He had paired the navy linen cargos with a white short-sleeved shirt with the top buttons undone. His sunglasses of the same brand and model hung from the opening.
“Do you know a lot of the guests?” she inquired, looking around.
“All of them, which is why I am standing by my own,” he said sardonically. “Pricks and cunts, the lot of them. Forgive me the crass wording, but they are.”
She laughed. “Noted. And Edward is especially?”
“Edward is the king of pricks and dicks. He is as leery and creepy as they get. And he is right over there.” Sidney nodded in the direction of a good-looking blond man with a large brand logo embellished on his blue sports jacket. His white pants were rolled up, displaying tanned ankles in loafers. He looked about as obnoxious as his rumour suggested. At the moment, he was obviously chatting up a busty blonde who giggled at his every word.
“I advise you to stay clear of him,” he said, sounding serious. “And never find yourself alone with him; there are too many rumours not to be true of his deafness to the word ‘No’. My brother insists on his presence, which says something about my brother’s poor judgement of character.”
Mary’s marriage to Tom Parker was something that had made Charlotte wonder more than once. She liked the man well enough, but his frantic nature and inability to just sit still and be quiet grated on her. In the two years she had known Mary, this was the first time she had met Sidney, though she had heard plenty of him and his failed relationships in particular. Enough to know that the man held quite a star with his sister-in-law.
“Beer?” he offered. “Or do you prefer wine?”
“Oh, beer, please. I did not wear shorts as the only woman to drink wine.” She scrunched her nose.
“There’s a keg on the patio.”
️⌚️ 12:42
“What has that poor beer done to you?” Charlotte teased, grabbing the glass from Sidney’s hand after his third failed attempt to draft them a beer.
“Nothing. What is wrong with bottled beer, though?”
“Here, let me. I paid my way through uni bartending.” She drafted them two perfect beers. “See? You just need a little patience and a tender touch.”
“I have a tender touch,” he murmured to himself, sulking a bit.
⌚️ 13:30
“Mary and I both work at the law faculty. It was a gift to have someone with her experience return to teach.” Charlotte placed her empty glass on a small table.
“Do you have tenure too?” he asked.
She burped lightly. “Forgive me,” she giggled. “That beer went down a little too fast. My next drink is water. And to answer your question, no, I don’t. I am too young and a woman, but I love teaching.”
“You are hardly much older than most students,” he commented.
“Uh, an insult and compliment combined. How very legislative of you,” she quipped with a laugh. “It’s true, though. I have no difficulty with the female students, but some of the male ones want to shag the hot professor.”
Sidney dropped his jaw a little.
“Hey, I do look exceptional in my work clothes. Always heels to stand taller, and always pencil skirts for distraction while I make my case.” She rolled her eyes, but there was no real heat in her voice. “I am not ashamed to use my professional appearance strategically. Men do it all the time—growing beards, planting new hair, insoles, expensive watches the size of a dessert platter.”
He raised his hands in defence. “I meant no offense. Now, of course, I need to visit you at work.”
She laughed. “You are welcome. The coffee is dreadful, though.”
⌚️ 14:01
“I must have you participate,” Tom said. “It’s tradition, Sidney. You know that!”
“Yes, brother.” Sidney and Charlotte had had one more large beer and were in the middle of a heated discussion about who the most likely Marvel hero was.
The three-legged racecourse was at the far end of the garden. Couples and teams were already there, most of them quite drunk—as prescribed for enjoying such a childish game.
With her left leg tied to Sidney’s right, Charlotte raised her hand. “Tom, this is my first rodeo. Are we qualified as long as our legs are tied together, or are there other requirements?”
“As long as you do not untie the rope, you’re good,” he drawled, wrapping his arm around Mary’s waist.
“Thank you, Game Master,” Charlotte bowed.
When Arthur sounded the race gun, she twirled, wrapped her right leg around Sidney’s hip, and clutched her arms around his neck. “Run!” she whispered.
Keeping her lithe body in a tight embrace pressed against his chest, supporting her with a hand solidly planted on her bum, he took off, sprinting with ease in uneven steps, careful not to break the connection between their legs, and crossed the finish line before most of the other teams had even managed to take off.
“Charlotte and Sidney are the winners,” Tom announced. “Though, I’m not sure their unconventional interpretation of the rules applies.”
“I asked, you should have been more precise,” Charlotte countered with a wicked grin, snatching the trophy from his hand and raising it triumphantly in the air.
“That was brilliant,” Sidney said as they retreated to their corner of the garden.
“Winning or besting your brother in his own rules?” she asked, trophy still in her hand.
“Definitely the latter. Winning an argument with my older brother is near impossible because he simply doesn’t listen. He just talks, wearing his opponent down.”
“I’m happy to have been of service. Consider it a thank you for keeping me safe.”
“It has been my absolute pleasure.”
⌚️ 15:10
“I prefer Ham & Cheese. A classic combination with a sharp twist of mustard,” Sidney mused out loud as he surveyed the spread of sandwiches on the buffet. “You?”
“While Ham & Cheese is a safe bet, I’m more of an egg sandwich kinda girl. Especially if there’s cress in.” She picked two sandwiches and placed them on her plate, along with some meatballs and cheese.
“I like those too, but I miss the kick of something spicy.” Sidney loaded his plate as if he were going somewhere for months without access to food.
“Are you passing on that platter when you’re done?” she asked, nodding to the mountain of food.
“Ha ha, very funny. I just raced carrying dead weight, I need sustenance! And H&C are Arthur’s favourite as well. Food is not a joke in the Parker family.”
“I am not dead weight! I was the brain to your muscle, Parker boy! Without my brilliance, anyone else could have won,” she huffed.
“True,” he surrendered. “You, as the only one, are allowed to help yourself from my plate.”
“Thank you, that is only fair.”
⌚️ 16:22
“Parker, didn’t your mother teach you not to hoard all the new toys yourself?” slurred a visibly drunk Edward, slinging his arm around Charlotte’s shoulder. “I have not seen you before.”
“No?” she replied coldly. “That’s funny, because I see your type all the time. Mostly in court, lamely defending themselves, claiming that it was the way she was dressed that made it impossible for him to keep his dick to himself.”
Edward paled. “That’s aggressive,” he spluttered.
“So is putting your arm around a stranger.” She looked with disgust at his hand, which was grabbing tightly around her upper arm.
Sidney’s eyes had turned black with anger, and he appeared ready to kill, but Charlotte gave him a discreet shake of the head.
Edward instantly let go and raised his hands in the air. “No need to be bitchy about it,” he mumbled.
“No need to be whiny about being rejected,” she countered. “Now, piss off. Sidney has been longing to punch someone for ages.”
“I thought you had a girlfriend,” Edward said, with a clear accusation toward Sidney. “How is Alice?”
“Eliza is fine, she is away on business. And it is possible for a man to talk to a woman without needing to fuck her. So, Edward, piss off. I have yet to share with your aunt your latest scam.”
Edward snarled but walked away.
“Scam?”
“A bluff. I found it likely that he’s been up to something he doesn’t want his wealthy aunt to know about. She threatens him regularly to cut him off. Right now, she’s the only income he has; the man has not worked a day in his life.”
⌚️ 18:39
“My brother, Thomas, is the most important person in my life. He is three years older than me, but he always dragged me along when we grew up. I spent more time with his friends than with children my own age.” She placed the beer between her feet and took a large sip from her water bottle.
“I could never imagine having my siblings in tow. We are four tremendously different people, to the point that it’s hard to believe we come from the same two parents. Not that I don’t love them—I do. But I could never imagine travelling with them. Ironically, the only person I wouldn’t have killed or returned home within the first day is Mary.” He plucked at the grass in front of him.
“I don’t think you’re compelled to like your siblings just because you love them and are related. I’m grateful that Thomas is my best friend as well as my brother, but I realize it’s the exception, not the rule. I don’t take it for granted.”
“For us, everything changed when our parents died. It was as if we all felt the need to be more together. To be a family—be very much together, to be very much in denial that we couldn’t be more mismatched.” He sighed and lay down on the grass.
She lay on her side, resting her head on a bent arm. “That is actually something. You should all be proud of that. You can decide to stick together as a family without feeling the urge to be friends. Life is short and unpredictable, and you have tethered yourselves to each other to make sure no one is left behind. I think that is quite beautiful, actually.”
He turned his head and looked at her with wonder, his brown eyes soft and warm. “I never thought of it like that. Thank you.”
⌚️ 20:08
“I may be hopeless at drafting a beer, but I do know how to assemble a burger,” Sidney claimed. They stood near the large grill, watching as more or less intoxicated guests assaulted the large platters with patties, cheddar cheese, greens, and condiments.
“Alright, I’ll trust my food with your expertise,” Charlotte said in mock surrender. “I’ll get us fresh beer then. No raw onions for me, please.”
“No raw onions?” he echoed.
“No, I don’t like the sharp taste, and they go sour quickly, especially if they’ve been sitting on a table for ages.”
He pressed his hand to his heart. “I wholeheartedly agree. Pickled red onions, yes please. Yellow, raw onions, no thank you. I must warn you, I prefer to spread my bun with mayo, not ketchup.”
She looked at him, dead serious. “I love you. Now, I truly trust you with my food.”
⌚️ 21:54
“Knock knock,” said Sidney to a laughing Charlotte, literally rolling in the grass.
She struggled to speak. “Who's there?”
“Cow says,” he continued, struggling to keep a straight face.
“I am almost afraid to ask but Cow says who?”
He lay down next to her. “No silly, cow says MOOOO!”
They had been trading knock-knock jokes for over half an hour and Charlotte had to admit she’d met her match.
“Knock knock,” he said again.
“Oh fuck, you really are determined to kill me. Who’s there?”
"Olive.”
She managed to sit up with his help. “Olive who?”
His brown eyes turned a little darker. “Olive you and I miss you!”
Her laughter stopped and she blushed. “Drink?”
⌚️ 22.39
“I see your mouth moving and I hear some kind of words coming out, but I don’t compute. How can you not have a sweet tooth? This cake is divine. The caramelized coconut is out of this world,” Charlotte scolded.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t... I think everything was saved for Arthur. He lives and breathes for cake.” Sidney shrugged his shoulders.
“I will immediately go find him; he sounds like my spirit animal.” Charlotte turned on her heels but didn’t get far before he gently grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.
“He also talks about little else. You’ll be bored, and I promised Mary to keep you entertained.”
“Then I must insist you try this cake!” She raised her cake-ornamented hand to his mouth. “Open.”
When he complied, she shoved the entire piece along with her fingers and a giggle.
He wrapped a hand around her wrist and held it still while he sucked her fingers clean. “I stand corrected,” he mumbled. “I do have a sweet tooth.”
They stood in silence for a while, both breathing a little heavily—both knowing full well that he had just crossed a line there.
⌚️ 00:33
“I’m so sorry, Charlotte. The day has been chaotic. Did you enjoy yourself?” Mary slumped into a lounge chair near Sidney and Charlotte’s little spot.
Charlotte looked around. To her surprise, most guests had left without her even noticing. She had managed to spend the entire day with Sidney.
“I did. Sidney has taken very good care of me. It’s getting late, I should get an Uber.” Standing, she gathered her things and hugged Mary. “Thank you so much for having me. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Sidney said, taking her bag from her. “Go to bed, Mary. I’ll carry everything into the kitchen and pick up the trash.”
“Thank you, love. Goodnight.”
Charlotte pulled out her phone and ordered her transportation, and they walked out to the street to wait for it.
“Thank you for taking care of me. I really enjoyed myself.”
“Me too,” he said quietly.
For the first time, there was silence and awkwardness between them, and the few minutes until the Uber arrived felt long. When a car pulled up, they looked at each other.
“Maybe I’ll see you at the Christmas Party?” Sidney waved at the driver to let him know he was at the right place.
“That would be lovely, and I look forward to meeting your girlfriend.” Charlotte’s stomach clenched at the thought.
“Yeah... Goodnight, Charlotte.” He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek.
“Goodbye, Sidney.”
He opened the car door for her and helped her in, handing her bag to her. Standing on the pavement, he waved until he could no longer see the taillights.
⌚️ Three months later – give or take
Unknown caller ID
“Hello?” Charlotte answered the call, ready to reject whatever annoying salesperson she expected to be on the other end.
“Hello, this is Sidney. Sidney Parker. We met--” a male voice said.
“I remember you,” she interrupted a little too eagerly, kicking herself for not having more restraint. She remembered everything about him. His voice, his scent, his shy laugh, his hands.
“Good.” There was a large intake of air on the phone. “I was wondering if you would like to meet for a cup of coffee?”
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, but she still felt sad. “I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea. While I do believe that men and women can be friends, I don’t want to be someone your girlfriend is upset about.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“I haven’t had a girlfriend since I met you.”
“Oh.”
Another breath on the phone. “Before you think this is some kind of MO of mine, this is the first time I have been the one to break up. Normally I am the one who’s left. I think she was more upset that I beat her to it than actually heartbroken. And I know I flirted a little heavily with you. Also, not a standard. Just... I felt something... more. It wasn’t fair to stay with her when I thought so much of you.”
“Oh.” Charlotte winced at her inability to form a coherent sentence.
“My plan was to wait until the Christmas Party to see if maybe you felt something too, but here we are.”
“Here we are,” she echoed. “So, coffee?”
He let out a breath he must have been holding. “Yes. Mary gave me your number and address along with a long list of things she would do to me if I hurt you. There should be a café near your flat. If that goes well, perhaps we could have dinner at the Italian place next to it.”
“And if that goes well?” she continued.
“Maybe a nightcap before I say goodbye like a gentleman, go home, and spend the night pondering a text that will be so charming and witty that you will accept another date with me.”
“I like that. Are you free tonight? Can you be here in an hour?” Charlotte was already speculating on what to wear.
“I’m already here, standing outside your building.”
She hurried to the window. True to his word, he was there, waving at her. She waved back.
“Let me summarize. Coffee, Italian, nightcap?”
“Hopefully.” He smiled from across the street.
“I have instant coffee, frozen pizza in the freezer, and hot chocolate we can spike with Bailey’s. Will that do?”
They stared at each other through the window.
“Just to be clear. Are you inviting me up?”
“Yes.”
He sprinted across the street, and she was ready by the time the buzzer sounded. Opening her front door, she could hear him bolt up the stairs to her flat on the second floor. He was a little out of breath when he arrived, standing in front of the open door as if he needed permission to enter.
“If you come inside, we can close the door,” she suggested.
Entering, he kept his jacket on. “I feel I need to explain something. While my ex-girlfriends find me incredibly handsome, they also think I’m a total bore. I don’t give enough of myself, I can’t carry a long conversation that isn’t about my job, and I am basically too brooding and aloof. They’re probably right, but with you, it felt like a conversation that could never run out. Knowing this, do you still want me to come inside?”
She laughed softly. “I do.”
“Thank God.” He wrestled out of his jacket, a little too eager and nervous at the same time.
The air was filled with electricity between them.
“Knock knock,” he whispered, taking both of her hands in his, running his thumbs over the silky skin.
She giggled nervously. “Who’s there?”
He took a half step toward her. “Honeydew.”
Wetting her lips, she moved a little closer. “Honeydew who?”
“Honeydew you know how much I like you?”
Charlotte kissed him, releasing his hands to grab his shirt and pull him close. “How many dates do I have to invent in this flat before you stay?”
He chuckled into her mouth. “None. I’m yours.”