Work Text:
Mia went to open her phone.
1 new message
Oh alright that's not that bad, it's just a voicemail... wait wait WAIT why the FUCK is it 47 MINUTES??????????
"Hi Mia I'm gonna tell you what happened today because lowkey I don't know what just did.
Uhm anyway, so basically I started off by showering right because I actually do unlike half my team so its all cool I'm just there showering and then like I get out and I've got my towel around me because I'm sopping wet and I'm like where the FUCK are my clothes..
So I'm just yknow walking around and then for some god forsaken reason I just see Two Time but like there's no issue with that but my issue is why they're on the CEILING. Like so I go up to them and I'm like Two Time why the FUCK are you on the ceiling and then they say I'm the new survalince camera but like Chance superglued me up here bro
WHAT????????????? so at this point I'm still looking for my clothes because I only have a towel around me I'm COOKED if a round just decides it's gonna start and I'm just franticly looking for that shit because I'm NOT gonna be dealing with just a TOWEL so anyway moving I'm looking n shit..
Tell me why TELL ME WHY I see my clothes In the OVEN. THE FUCKING OVEN. Oh! Bro I was lowkey crashing out bro like WHAT. Anyway come to find out that bitch if a teammate I call 007n7 put my shit in the OVEN. WHAT?? right so I'm just sopping wet like a cat who's just been drowned and I stare and him and he just looks over and BOLTS but like you know how I said I was wet .. well basically I had left a small trail of water and this mf SLIPPED ON THAT SHIT LOLPLOLPOLOLOPPPPLOOLOOLOOLLLLPOLLOLOLLLLOOLLOLOLOLPOLLOK
So now I'm like less pissed but like I still need my clothes because I am NOT going into a round naked buddy nuh UH. so I just see dusekkar and I'm like vro PLEASE can you like whip me up some clothes I know that's not really how your magic works but like I'm desperate and bro when I tell you he did BLESS HIS SOUL BRO twin pulled through and he did..
So anyway I'm like vro thank you so much vro I'm gonna like help you next round like prioritise your heals and then the next round comes by he's getting TARGETEDDDDD so I'm like right gotta get in the grind then so I'm like healing him and then I go off because he looks like hes doing fine..
I hear a BLOOD CURDLING scream and I'm like what the fuck so I run over because like what did I just hear and I see Shedletsky with the BIGGEST FUCKING WEDGIE in the WORLD so 1x1x1x1 is just HOWLING on the floor because they stopped chasing duskkar roght but like Shedletsky is begging for help like PLEASE HELP ME GUYS THIS ISNT FUNNY sigh well I didn't really care but me and builderman where just also laughing our asses off like you should've BEEN there it was so funny omg.
Anyway so I say to Builderman like help him if you want this is WAY to funny and then I just go off to find a generator. I find one and Two Time and I'm like hey did you finally get off the wall how are your asscheecks. because like they just got superglued so I'm checking in like the humble and kind soul I am TELL ME WHY they say my ass ifms fine there's just no skin anymore
WHAT THE FUCK????? SO... THEYRE NOT LYING don't ask how I know but I'm like SHITTTT so I load up a pizza with medicine and shit and shove that shit into their mouth because like the skin need to grow back bro like huh??? Anyway I then proceed to hear ANOTHER blood curdling scream and keep in mind Shedletsky was hanging from a cliff with a massive wedgie this entire time and still was but I digress
So it turns out that the scream was from noob but it's because they were laughing so much because Shedletsky had somehow turned around and was basically mooning everyone so I'm just also laughing my ass off once again with builderamn noob and 1x1x1x1 because we are NOT letting that mf down bro but yeah si that was like only the start of it whatever you do don't get forsakened twin I know ts sounded funny but like yeah anyway see you sis I hope you're doing ok bye"
And then it just abruptly ended.
Oh! What the FUCK was that and WHY did that shit take 47 FUCKING MINUTES💔💔💔💔 but it's ok she braved throught it
Shit maybe I gotta block this hoe's number of he gona keep sending me stuff like this.. nah it was funny asf bro