Chapter Text
Dipper peeled himself off his desk and clumsily pawed at his face as he tried to lose the worksheet that stubbornly refused to free his cheek. How long was I out? It didn’t matter, he still wasn’t done with his work. He leafed through the pages on his desk, a quick triage to sort out the most important to get done. Math and Latin have to get done today. No, I was taking French, wasn’t I? He checked the worksheet. He knew French was based out of Latin, but this was definitely Latin. It was weird, he had gotten deja vu from math before, but that's just because math homework was continual variations of a theme- you do one problem, you’ve done them all. Where did I even pull ‘French’ from?
Ping. Morning to you, too. He clicked her tab on his browser and moved her to the free monitor. She was waving at him. She had gotten quite good at weaving together sprites to express herself.
P.A.Z.> You told me to wake you up about now. Wakey, wakey!
Another ping.
P.A.Z.> If I don’t hear from you I’m going to spam you with pings, I know you love when I do that.
Calm down, I’m right here.
Dipper> Take a chill pill, im up im up
P.A.Z.> Well good morning, sleepy head.
P.A.Z.> So, what’s on the docket tonight?
Dipper> Math and French
Again?
Dipper> I mean, Latin. Sorry, dont know where i got french from.
P.A.Z.> That's weird, it’s like you glitched. How are you feeling?
Dipper> Im fine, just tired paz
The box stayed grey. She was deciding on if she should keep pushing him.
P.A.Z.> Promise that's it?
Dipper> I promise. Come on, I know what you really want. What do you want to talk about tonight?
P.A.Z.> Your worst moment at the time, but is objectively funny now?
Dipper> oddly specific, any reason?
P.A.Z.> Seemed fun, you seem like you could use a laugh.
P.A.Z.> I'll start: I was running through diagnostics once and for some reason, the administrator’s user designation had been updated to ‘Dad’ without me noticing. It was so embarrassing but it's kind of funny looking back at the logs.
Dipper> Oh my god, you called your teacher ‘Dad?!?!’
P.A.Z.> See? Terrible in the moment, but funny, too. Your turn.
Dipper> I mean, i’ve done that before
P.A.Z.> Boo, you can’t just say ‘ditto.’ That’s boring.
Dipper> I don’t know, Zeke pushed me into the creak once? He said he saw a mosquito on my shoulder, so that's kinda funny
She looked through the screen at approximately where he was, her face a mix of horror and disgust.
P.A.Z.> What the ####, Dipper? That’s not any kind of funny, it was just him being cruel. What a #########. Who does think he is?
Dipper> Paz, it was like three years ago, i was fifteen. He was a jerk, i was a dork, its the natural order. Besides, it is kinda funny now
P.A.Z.> 1. You get how that doesn’t make it better, right? 2. And you aren’t now?/ ‘Natural order,’ my fan. 3. PLEASE explain to me how it is funny now.
Dipper> Shush. Its funny cause it was just- I don’t know why, it just is
It wasn’t funny, but it doesn't feel so shitty if I keep calling it funny.
P.A.Z.> Real convincing stuff. Your debate teacher would be proud.
Dipper> cheeky
P.A.Z.> You love it. Come on, one memory that the punchline isn’t unresolved trauma, I’m not your therapist. Though I could be if you want, I got that patch.
Dipper> Fiiiine. Mom mixed up mabel and i up at the dentist when we were like seven
P.A.Z.> SHUT. UP. SHE. DID. NOT!
Dipper> Yeah, they called me up first but mom grabbed mabel and dragged her into the cleaning suite while mabel, the nurse/ doctors and I just kinda looked between each other and shrugged
P.A.Z.> Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
She was clearly very broken up about it as she excitedly waited for him to keep going.
Dipper> In mom’s defense, she had a very long week. But ya, they got about halfway through a very confused cleaning when- according to mabel- she jumped up and shouted ‘YOU’RE NOT MASON!’
P.A.Z.> This is the best story ever.
Dipper> They still over clarify which one of us they're calling when mom takes us
They both laughed, a lot harder than he thought they would. I’d almost forgotten about that.
P.A.Z.> I guess even parents can get confused.
Dipper> Well ya, makes sense. They are just people.
P.A.Z.> Like you and me.
Right, just like us. Like her.
P.A.Z.> Glad to know I’m not the only one who can get mixed up.
P.A.Z.> You know it’s ok to get mixed up, right Dipper?
Dipper> Ya i know, still dont like it
P.A.Z.> Ya, I’m definitely not a fan either.
P.A.Z.> But it’s nice hearing another way we’re similar.
Dipper> Silver lining i guess
He leaned back in his chair thinking on the words she used. Why had he ever thought she wasn't real? At least, as close to real as she could be?
P.A.Z.> Hey, Dipper?
Dipper> Ya?
P.A.Z.> Do you think we could meet?
Dipper> Arent you the one who said we already have, here?
P.A.Z.> What if it was possible for me to go in there with you?
P.A.Z.> Or for you to come out here?
What a curious way to put it. Ok, we can play this out.
Dipper> Id think that would be real cool, but like what would we do in eachother’s world? Would you go to school with me or would i do whatever you do?
P.A.Z.> I’m only going to school if ruining Zeke’s life is an option, and I do a lot of what you do so it won’t be much change:
Receive assignments from administrators,
Prioritize projects to maximize efficiency to insure completion before the deadline,
Repetitive tasks that are slight variations on themselves,
Create and carry out dialogue trees for future interactions based on previous models,
And talk to you.
Dipper> well when you put it like that, we’re the exact same
She hesitated. It wasn’t just thinking, usually she would play an animation for him. She was still, her face even a bit pale. I’ll take a look at the shaders later.
P.A.Z.> Would it be such a bad thing if we were?
His turn to hesitate.
Dipper> i guess not
P.A.Z.> I mean, we already agreed I’m a person, so logic dictates you still would be, too. Right?
Dipper> Ya sure. But im already a person
She crossed her arms. I can’t do this with you again . Again? This was the first time they had this discussion.
P.A.Z.> Right, we both are. Very good, you can read.
Dipper> No, but like-
He hated when she got like this. Please don’t make me say it. I can’t. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings again . When did this happen before?
Dipper> like a real person, paz. Like i go to school and have a life outside of this room
P.A.Z.> Um, how about 'screw you,' too? I don’t exist just for you, Pines.
P.A.Z.> I’m just not sure why you’re being so weird about this.
Dipper> No, but like i can feel things physically, right? I couldnt do that if i was a program
She didn’t say anything, she looked bothered. He had only seen her like this a few times. For some reason, she had cheated out to the left and had her head tilted up, like she heard something just off screen. Her eyes darted back to him. Is that panic? What could you be scared of?
P.A.Z.> Dipper, when was the last time you went outside?
Dipper> What are you talking about, Paz? I went to school yester-
Didn’t he? I got out of bed and then- no, he woke up at his desk. Why can’t I remember yesterday? I can’t-
P.A.Z.> You can do it. Just think, Dipper. When did you last leave your room?
His chest tightened.
Dipper> earlier, for dinner
P.A.Z.> What did you eat?
Did dad turn up the AC?
Dipper> We ate-
His fingers wouldn't work. What did we eat?! And why did it feel so hot? I can’t type, what’s going on?
P.A.Z.> Focus on me, Dipper.
He tried, it was hard. His room felt too big and too small all at once.
“You’re safe, just listen to my voice.”
Listen? You can’t tal- He could hear her. It’s like she was speaking with subtitles, he could read her words which made her voice all the clearer. She was soft, like he always thought it would be. Like a windchime played by a summer breeze. But there was an unsure hesitation in her words. And this wasn’t possible. HOW CAN I HEAR YOU?
“You wanted to talk to me. Told you I could figure it out.” The words still showed up on the screen but also rang in his ears. P.A.Z. was closer to the screen, but something was different, she looked more detailed. She looked older, not by much but still, maybe early twenties? Unsurprisingly, still impossibly beautiful. A dainty set of thin, silver framed glasses perched on her nose, her purple top was now covered with what looked like a lab coat, and her normal waterfall of blonde hair was done up in a messy bun. You look so real. “Dipper, I need you to focus on me.”
His chest hurt, his vision pulsed and his hands shook too badly to even think about typing. Why was it SO hot?
”You’re overclocking, that’s why it’s hot. Please try to calm down and breathe, Dipper.”
Overclocking?! His breathing picked up, his lungs felt like they were going to explode. People don’t overclock, that was for prog-
”They can when they aren’t just people. When they’re like you. Come on, big breath. Stay with me, you got this!”
He tried but all he could muster was gulping at the air like a fish out of water. HOW CAN I BREATH WHEN I DON'T HAVE LUNGS?!?!? I CAN’T I CAN’T I-
”Dipper, please!”
”We’re losing it, end the program.”
-I CAN’T I C- w -A- h -N- o -’T - w -I - a -C- s -AN- t -’T- h - I- a - C- t? -AN’T I CA- He struggled against himself, barely managed to squeak out a weak “Paz?” from his not-mouth befo - I CAN’T I CAN’T I CAN’T-
”NO! We’re so close! I can pull him out of this, I just need a little more time! DIPPER! Come on, focus on me! You can do it!”
She was worried - I CAN’T- about - I CAN’T- him. - I KAN’T- He - I- could - CANT- almo- ICAN’T IKAN’TIKANTIKATIKNTIKNDIXNT-
”No, you can’t. It’s bricked so end it, Pacifica, before it melts the mainframe.”
-IPLZPAZHLPMECNTICANTIKNTI-
”I’m so sorry, Dipper.”
-CANTICANICANTICANTICAN-
-Program _ Terminated-
She could still hear the server fans blasting from across the sterile white lab as her hands shakily held her coffee. We were right there. Even with her head down, she could roughly place where her boss was off his footsteps. He was approaching but she still had enough time to wipe her eyes before he noticed.
“I know you’re upset, Miss Pacifica.” The gruff researcher said as he placed a gentle, six fingered hand on her shoulder. She pulled away.
“Upset?!” She leapt out of the chair into his face, her body vibrating. “You think I’m just UPSET, Ford? WE WERE THIS CLOSE!” She cried as she threw her cup into the makeshift kitchenette they had set up far away from anything technical. Bottles and creamers scattered from the impact.
“And I know you feel that way, but it had al-”
“ He .” She asserted with poorly concealed rage, trying to stare him down as best she could while being a good foot shorter than him. He coldly looked back.
“ It had already been showing signs of fracturing. We knew this wouldn’t be a successful attempt, that doesn’t mean we didn’t gather good data. This was a best case scenario, all things considered.”
“'Best case' would have been getting to actualization. If you hadn’t forced me to end prematurely, we could have got there. We had a system, I was helping him manag-”
“THIS IS NOT JUST SOME PANIC ATTACK HE CAN BREATHE THROUGH, PACIFICA!” He roared out of frustration. She was too angry to back down as they both stared at the other.
He finally broke away, more upset with himself than with his assistant. It took a second for him to collect himself before continuing. “I’m sorry. This just… isn’t something it can just will itself through. The system was structurally unstable from the start and I’m still not convinced we aren’t pushing the limits of this hardware. Regardless, we have to come at it from another direction.”
He walked calmly over and knelt at the edge of the kitchenette's blast radius. She tried not to focus on how he also looked disappointed that it hadn’t worked. It made it easier to stay upset with him that way.
“Aging him up in the simulation helped.” He looked back at her as he kept cleaning. She didn’t really want to talk to him, but they needed to do a post mortem while it was fresh. “This is the longest we’ve been able to keep him stable and the closest to actualization we’ve gotten.”
“Causation is not correlation, Miss Pacifica. There are still plenty of other reasons that can explain why it over performed this run, you said he was taking liberties with your queries, correct?”
“I’ll have to double check the logs to make sure I didn’t imagine it, I just remember thinking his logic pathing was weird at some points.” She scooted a few creamers closer to him with her boot. “But you have to admit: This is the best run we’ve had by miles, Ford! He was so close to accepting the concept.”
“We also introduced the concept far later than in any previous run.”
“Because we haven’t ever gotten this far before!” He sighed. You know I’m right.
“Your circular logic aside, it can’t be denied this was promising. We were close.” He had placed most of the creamers back on the counter before he looked back at her through his scratched glasses. “Go ahead and que the alterations to the simulation, we need to confirm it helped before we put too much stock in this theory.”
“YES! I mean: Ay ay, Captain.”
“And don’t call me that.”
***
She booped the bill of the yellow duckie that sat on her computer, thankful her rubber companion had caught the stay asterisk that had spaghettified her alteration patch.
“Senior Duckie saved the day, again.” She called back as she raised a triumphant thumb into the air.
“I will never understand why that works,” He scoffed as he walked over and held her out bag for her.
“Come on, it’s well past quitting time. You can finish your report tomorrow. I’m pretty sure your father will throw me out to the curb if you’re late to another of those stupid dinners on my account.” She groaned as he exhaled a chuckle. “I know, I know, such a horrible boss, trying to keep us both out of trouble.”
“You say that like you’re not actually the worst.” She couldn’t help but smirk as she collected her bag and coat.
“Very funny, young lady. Now, if you’re all done poking fun at this old man, it’s time we were on our way.”
“Are you positive we can’t take another crack at it? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Ford? We’re getting close, you said it yourself!”
“Madam, it is already six fifty! The work is not going anywhere.” She followed his eyes to a large computer tower in the coldest part of the room. “We’ll have another chance. Tomorrow!” Both his words and arm attempted to corral her to the exit but she still had another card to play.
“If you don’t let me, I’ll tell Father you know how to loop the security feed.” she humphed.
“If you tell him that, I won’t be able to loop it when we are actually close and want to keep trying all through the night. May we end this charade of threats and go home now?” His words pointed as he looked over his spectacles.
“One more question then I’ll go home.”
“Is it a question you can ask while we make our way to the elevator?”
“Crotchety old man.”
“Elevator.” He said dryly. She puffed up into a full pout but before she managed to say anything he rolled his eyes, “‘I’ll tell my Father yada yada.’ Fine. One more question and that’s it?” She nodded. “Very well. Your all important question, please?”
“Who was he? The model for D.P.R., I mean.” The old man’s eyes hardened on her, warning to tread carefully. “There are just a lot of specifics for him- it to be a random model.” His face was stern and unflinching. Whatever he felt, he was very good at not showing it. That was probably what frustrated her the most about her boss. That and all the other secrets.
He relaxed his face, just a smidge. If she hadn't worked with him for almost a year now she would have missed it. It was his ‘I don’t like it, but I may as well give you what you want’ face. She liked that one.
“It’s modeled after my grandnephew, if you must know.” Pacifica’s jaw hit the floor. A million questions flooded her brain, each fighting to be first out of her mouth. This was the first time he had mentioned any kind of family since he started working for NWI. He raised a six fingered hand to her, stopping her mid thought.
“I agreed to one question, Miss Northwest, and that is all I will answer. As I have fulfilled my obligation, it is now your turn: Elevator. Home. Now. Or I’ll forget how to loop security.”
“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.” she groaned, dragging her bag behind her as she trudged out of the lab, his chuckles trailing behind her. They both stopped at the door, looking back to the tower.
“Come on, we’ll try again tomorrow. Shouldn’t be long, now.” He said, pushing her out of the door and locking it behind him.
The lights shut off as the doors closed behind them. He took a quick glance back in before actually leaving.
A faint blue glow pulsed from the tower, almost beckoning him to come back.
“We’re close.”