Chapter Text
Steven’s hands fumble with the packaging of the test as he pulls out the old-earth style stick he’s apparently supposed to use. He would’ve preferred something closer to the technology of his own time, but this would have to do.
There can’t be many other explanations, Steven thinks as he takes the test then goes to sit at the rim of the bathtub, hands shaking and mind in a frenzy. Two minutes- that’s how long it takes to know.
It all added up, with the way he’d been feeling recently. The sickness he’d tried to hide from the Doctor and Dodo for fear of causing them to worry, the way his body ached after each adventure, he’d even snapped at the Doctor without meaning to, though the Doctor was used to such aggression and didn’t take offence.
Steven thought about the Doctor and wondered how he would feel. His partner had been a father before, that Steven knew. But that part of his life had ended and he even had a granddaughter to show for that. He couldn’t just throw this burden upon the man and expect him to take responsibility- and the Tardis hardly seemed like the best environment to raise a child.
If he had to leave, then Steven would accept that. Perhaps the Tardis would take pity on him and drop him off somewhere resembling his home time. That would leave him to live his life as he had wanted, albeit carrying the child of the man he’d loved then lost.
One minute; Steven felt like his head was spinning. He can feel himself sweating in anticipation and has to resist the urge to throw up again. He swallows his unease and tries to keep his focus, but it’s difficult. Dodo had always said he was heart over head and that description applied even now.
He isn’t quite sure he’s fully grasped the situation yet, that if this test comes back positive then in some months he’ll have a child, the Doctor’s child. That is if the Doctor wants it. Steven isn’t sure what he himself wants but he feels like he could take care of a little life. But it's both him and the Doctor’s decision, he’ll accept whatever sounds right.
The two minutes have passed, having ticked away as Steven counted from his internal clock. He can’t bear to look down. Instead he looks up at the bright white lights of the bathroom he occupies, blinking furiously to hold back his emotions.
But he can’t hide from it forever, the inevitable truth that might just change his life. His face is red with blushing fear as he cranes his head downwards to stare at the possibly life-changing results.
It’s as he thought.
Positive.
Steven’s hands go numb for a moment and he drops the test; it clatters to the floor with a soft thud and he cringes. The Doctor and him, they’d been careful, he was sure of it. They hadn’t discussed the possibility of anything like this happening but they were aware of it and took the proper precautions. And yet that clearly wasn’t enough. Steven didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This was just his luck, he thought with an internal scoff.
He knelt down and gently picked up the test, staring the two lines down with a glare as if he could make them disappear. They taunted him, glowing in a shining red that indicated only one thing. Trying to seem nonchalant to himself but finding that endeavour unsuccessful, Steven put the stick in his pocket and stood up, ignoring the lightheadedness that came from he supposed both his nerves and also burgeoning nausea.
The Doctor had to know. He couldn’t keep this secret, it had already been difficult enough disguising it when he feared he might be. Perhaps he was just being paranoid but he’d even been wearing his more loose jumpers for worry that the Doctor might notice something. Steven pulled up his shirt for a moment and placed his hand against his abdomen, cringing at the cool touch of his palm.
There was something inside of him, Steven was beginning to accept. He could feel it- he wasn’t showing too much beyond his usual broadness but there was a certain firmness that indicated where the life inside of him was occupying. Pulling his shirt back down Steven adjusted it to try and hide the mild changes that were starting to take place.
Taking a gulp of air and scrunching his nose at the mild feelings of sickness that accompanied that, Steven sighed and left the bathroom. This was really happening, he was going to tell the Doctor.
He began walking the corridors in search of the Doctor. At first it had been hard adjusting to their new connection, ever since he had opened his mind up to the Doctor there had been moments where they intruded on one another’s emotions and thoughts. But over the time they’d been together Steven finally felt like he was adjusting and learning to control this bond. He hadn’t been able to open it up for a while now in the anxiety that the Doctor would find out what he’d been worrying about, but soon he supposed he could.
This bond meant that, if Steven concentrated, he could in a way track the Doctor. Even without it he was sure he’d be able to find his partner but it certainly helped, especially with his brain as scrambled as it was at present.
In the end he found the man sitting in the corner of the Tardis library, reading a book on the horticulture of ‘Krynoids’. Steven couldn’t help but smile when he saw the Doctor, he looked so peaceful. Giving a nervous cough Steven tried to alert the Doctor of his arrival, it worked and the man looked up with a ‘kind glare’ if such a thing existed.
“Steven! Come to join me have you?” The Doctor seemed delighted at his presence. “You know there’s a fascinating book somewhere here on the history of the panda, or at least a close relative of it, evolving from panda’s sent to the planet Arbtraxus, I think you’ll find it-”
“We need to talk.” Steven cut him off quietly. He almost hoped the Doctor wouldn’t hear him and keep talking; his voice calmed Steven to no end. But he did, and looked at Steven with a concerned expression.
“Of course my dear, of course we can talk. May I ask about what in particular?” The Doctor patted the chair next to him and Steven slowly lowered himself down into it with a reluctant sigh. “I am sensing you have something to say, hmm?”
“It’s…” Steven started and then trailed off. “I don’t know how to say it.”
The Doctor took Steven’s hand in his and rubbed circles in his palm soothingly. He was quiet, not wanting to disrupt Steven’s momentum.
Steven pinched his brow, shivering at the sweat that had gathered there. Once again he was in a situation where it was now or never. He’d have thought his oftentimes brash attitude would come in handy here, but it seemed reluctant to rear its head in the face of such a frightening confession.
“Doctor… I’m pregnant.”
“What?” The Doctor barked out suddenly, almost as soon as Steven had finished speaking. “What?”
Steven sighed, at a loss for what to say next. “I’ve been thinking that perhaps I could be for a while now, but I just took a test and…” Steven pulled out the stick from his pocket and handed it to the Doctor, who stared at it with wide eyes.
“You’re really… pregnant?” The Doctor stuttered, Steven couldn’t tell what he was feeling. He reached out via their bond but the Doctor gently batted his mind away. “But that’s… how do you feel?”
Steven thought for a moment before speaking up. “Physically I feel like I’ve been run over by a cargo-ship, emotionally I’m not sure. I know we haven’t talked about it but I’m open to having children- but if you aren’t then I can always change my plans.”
The Doctor’s widened, “My dear, my dear Steven.” He moved forward to cup Steven’s flushed face in his hands. “If you are happy to be with child, and I shan’t stress enough how important it is that you’re comfortable, then I am happy.”
“You mean you really want to keep it? To keep me?”
“Don’t act as if I would throw you aside if I disapproved!” There was the Doctor’s fury again, not directed at Steven but it still made him wince. The Doctor regretted his tone almost instantly. “I never had the chance to raise a child with someone I truly… loved. Back on my own planet, there was nothing besides menial affection and duty. But you Steven, you are that chance.”
Steven blushed and scoffed at the Doctor’s compliment. “Come on now Doc, I mean who’s to say we’ll be any good at this?” He asked nervously.
The Doctor smiled his all-knowing smile. “My dear, I have seen the way you take care of Dodo, you already see her as someone incredibly special to you. I am sure that our child will be nurtured in that same way. You shall be a magnificent father you know. And I have gone through this before, I shall guide you through fatherhood with the best knowledge I can offer.”
Steven blinked hastily, trying to hold back tears. The Doctor looked at him worriedly but Steven reassured him, “No, I’m alright. It just doesn’t take long for me to get emotional these days, it’ll pass.”
Just then, he had a thought. It wasn’t something he’d considered much, already preoccupied worrying about even just the possibility of pregnancy happening at all let alone the things that came with it. But now as he tossed the idea around his head, he was afraid.
“Doctor, is it…safe for me to have this child?” Steven knew the Doctor’s alien physiognomy was quite different from his own. “A human and your species- can they, you know…?”
“Interbreed?” The Doctor said bluntly; Steven cringed and muttered that perhaps he shouldn’t put it like that. “Hm, I cannot recall such an occurrence, there are no recorded cases neither factual evidence nor hearsay.”
“Oh.”
Steven could hear the gears turning and creaking in the Doctor’s head as he tried to reassure him. “But that does not mean it is impossible! No, no. It merely shows that humans and the Gallifreyan people have not previously interacted or attempted such affairs.”
“But there is a chance things could go wrong? It’s unknown territory.”
Then Steven remembered the incident on Kembel. “Doctor, I mean what if I’m the problem, what if the Time Destructor did something and I can’t-”
“Please, do not work yourself up about this, being pessimistic may be your mantra but we must look forward to the future, not dread it!” But Steven could tell the Doctor was worried too. “All it means is that we shall keep an extra eye on you, that is all.”
“Great, bed rest, just what the Doctor ordered.” Steven groaned. “I don’t want to stay in the ship wrapped up in bubble wrap, I’m still capable.”
“I only want what is best for you. Perhaps the Tardis may be able to steer our course to more peaceful adventures, for the time being. Though we may want to steer clear of earth’s history, the people may not be so accepting of you once you start to, well, show.” The Doctor admitted. “Speaking of that, do you know how far along you are?”
“About two months, almost three.” Steven said with a tired sigh. “And I feel dreadful Doctor.”
The Doctor ignored his groans of discomfort, his brain focused on studying the curve of Steven’s shirt. “Ah yes, I see…”
“Can you really tell already?” Steven asked skeptically. “I thought I was hiding it well.”
“To the unaware person, it isn’t noticeable. But now that I do in fact know, yes I can almost see something there.”
The Doctor looked to Steven for his approval and the man nodded, the Doctor then placing his palm down on Steven’s stomach. “Yes, yes, you were right about the stage of your pregnancy. I shall do some further checks and a full medical as soon as I can!” He declared.
“Don’t tell me your doctorate’s about this, though I wouldn’t be surprised knowing you.” Steven laughed, a full laugh which he hadn’t felt like doing since the nerves had started. “I expect your full devotion, forget about all those hours spent tinkering on the Tardis.”
“Of course my dear.” The Doctor agreed at once, Steven was taken aback by the kindness in his tone. “Anything you need, I shall be there to provide it.”
Steven blushed (he really needed to stop doing that, it was unbecoming of a distinguished space pilot), he leaned back in his chair with a sigh and gave the Doctor his best puppy dog eyes. “All this talking’s made me rather hungry, I don’t suppose we could have lunch here? But nothing with mustard, the stuff’s been making me sick.”
“I hadn’t thought you liked mustard in the first place?”
“I don’t, but you do.” Steven rolled his eyes.
“Do I now? Hmm, I suppose I do, on the rare occasion I have an earth style meal. Though I do prefer other-”
“Doctor!” Steven nudged the man. “Lunch, remember? You can choose whatever you want as long as it’s not mustard, or anything with tomatoes, or… well just bring me something and I’ll see if I can stomach it.”
“And if I bump into Dodo on the way?”
“Invite her to join us.” Steven suggested, smiling at the thought of their young friend. “You know she doesn’t like being left out.” The Doctor nodded and started walking towards the doorway. “But please, don’t tell her about this yet. I’ll do it in my own time.”
“A wise decision, we shall plan the best way to tell her after I’ve done my checks.”
“Sounds fine by me!” Steven shouted to the Doctor as the man left the room.
He still felt anxious, and rather ill, but having confirmed it and told the Doctor, Steven felt at least slightly more at ease. He wasn’t sure how he'd break the news to Dodo- the people of her time did seem rather backwards in this aspect. Though Dodo was kind, she would probably understand he hoped.
This was real, him and the Doctor were having a baby. In just over 6 months time there would be another life aboard the ship, Steven held his stomach and promised he’d take care of it. Perhaps it was his emotions running high, or some unknown repercussion of him and the Doctor’s bond, but he almost felt as if the baby was reaching back, sending a calming chill through him.
He needed to be optimistic, it was what they (this little family of Steven, the Doctor, Dodo and now this new child) needed. Perhaps after this child they could even get a dog, and be a perfect nuclear family.
Steven mentally scoffed at that, nothing about this life was ordinary, and yet being with the Doctor made him not mind. He could almost stay here forever, in this family home