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Eren’s earliest memories consisted of sitting in the basement with his father, learning about the outside world.
“They all hate Eldians. The people outside the walls think we’re ’island devils’, that we don’t deserve to live.”
It was nothing like the world Armin told him about - the winding rivers, imposing mountains, the stretch of salty water covering most of the earth.
Eren was barely old enough to understand the concept of Eldians and Marleyans when he sat staring at a photo of his father’s first family.
He was left shocked by the revelation. His mother still had no idea about any of it either.
Eren didn’t know how to feel.
He had a half brother in Marley, and his father’s ex-wife was a mindless titan, cursed to wander the island eternally.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt lost.
—
He understood the importance of keeping it all a secret from his mother. Grisha warned him that if any of these secrets got out, their family would be in danger.
Eren had only slipped up once, accidentally mentioning something he shouldn't have during dinner. His father had been quick to cover up his mistake and blame Armin for filling Eren’s head with foolish ideas.
Eren had learnt his lesson that night when his father dragged him by the arm through town, and took him to the edge of the forest. Grisha had gripped his shoulders, screaming in his face.
“You’ll get your mother killed! You’ll get us all killed!”
“My plan will be ruined if you don’t listen to me!”
“Keep your mouth shut from now on or so help me…”
Grisha had never been a ‘scary’ man.
Eren’s image of him changed, however, as he stood there, feeling the spit land on his face as his father went on a tirade about how Eren was going to be the reason the world ended.
Eren made sure to never speak about anything his father told him with his mother or strangers.
Armin didn’t count though. Eren trusted him to keep his secrets.
—
A few years later, his father introduced him to Mikasa, the daughter of one of his patients.
Eren went with Grisha during a routine check-up for Mikasa’s mother and spent the afternoon walking around the nearby forest with Mikasa.
It had been awkward at first. Eren had never had any friends other than Armin so all he knew to talk about was what he read in Armin’s books.
To his surprise, Mikasa had been happy to sit and listen to Eren ramble about how he and Armin were going to see the ocean and travel the world together.
A few months and visits to her house later, Mikasa’s family ended up moving to Shiganshina. It allowed the family to be closer to Eren’s father in preparation for the birth of their second child.
Eren was welcomed into the Ackerman house whenever he wanted, which was often.
He was happy to have another person to hang out with, and another excuse to spend time away from home.
Eren arranged for Armin and Mikasa to meet, wanting his two only friends to also be friends. The three quickly became a package deal, rarely seen without each other.
Armin and Mikasa unfortunately bonded over their shared worry for Eren’s wellbeing.
He was prone to getting himself in dangerous situations. Like threatening bullies twice his size for Armin’s sake, much to Mikasa and Armin’s exasperation.
During their sleepovers at Mikasa’s house, Eren often confided in them both, not knowing what to think about the things his father told him.
Mikasa was skeptical. She found it hard to imagine that the entire island was brainwashed into forgetting centuries of history.
Armin wanted to believe that maybe things weren’t quite as bad as Grisha made them out to be.
Eren grappled with how the world he saw and the world he was told about were so different.
—
When he was stuck at his own house, Eren often spent the night laying in bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling, hoping that none of it was real.
Grisha continued to ‘enlighten’ Eren about his future role as the next Attack and Founding titan, the ‘saviour’ of Eldia.
Eren dreaded getting older.
—
After a few particularly bad incidents of Armin getting bullied and Eren trying his best to treat Armin’s wounds by emulating what he saw his father do, Grisha took the time to properly teach Eren first aid.
This led Eren to contemplate his future.
If he had it his way, he’d like to become a doctor so he could always take care of Armin and Mikasa.
But that also meant spending more time with his father in the basement and hearing about how the subjects of Ymir weren’t actually evil island devils but instead built society, and Marley were the cruel ones, and it was his responsibility to fix the world and-
Eren enjoyed spending time with Mikasa’s family.
—
The Summer Mikasa’s little brother was born was an exciting one. Eren and Armin practically lived in the Ackerman home during the months following the new arrival.
Baby ‘Kaito’ quickly became the three children’s fascination. Mikasa’s mother, Hana, explained the meaning of Kaito’s name - the ocean, vastness, to soar.
Armin made sure to bring his books with him and show the newborn drawings of the outside world, which only got him gurgles in response.
Eren and Armin tried to make up for their constant presence by doing every chore imaginable and helping watch the baby. Mikasa’s parents only laughed and told them to make themselves at home.
Eren would often sneak looks at Mikasa and her parents sitting together, fussing over the baby. He would watch the way Mikasa’s father would dote on his wife and two children, the way he’d speak softly to Mikasa.
Sometimes he would remember the fact that he too technically had an older sibling, though it was unlikely he would ever meet him.
Eren wonders what his brother is like, what their relationship would be like if they ever found each other.
He ignored the tight feeling in his chest every time Mikasa’s father playfully called him “son” and brushed off the sting in his eyes when he saw Mikasa hug her father.
—
That Spring, Grisha went on an ‘extended visit’ to the inner walls.
Only Eren knew that his father wasn’t coming back.
Grisha had taken him to the forest once again, this time injecting him with titan spinal fluid.
Eren stumbled back through town the next morning after falling unconscious in the forest.
This was it. He was now both the Attack and Founding titan.
For once, he followed his father’s instructions and didn’t tell anyone, even Mikasa and Armin, about what happened.
It was his responsibility to use his power for the good of all Eldians, and stop Marley from taking over.
Eren mulled over the number of birthdays he had left.
When his mother saw him walk through the door, she scooped him into a hug and worriedly scolded him for not telling her that he wasn’t going to be home.
He wiped his tears before she could see them.
—
Eren, Armin and Mikasa had been reading books under the sun when they saw the colossal titan appear.
A few seconds of quiet passed, broken when the wall was breached.
Debris had started flying through the air, smashing houses before anyone had time to react.
The gate had been kicked in, and titans were flooding into Shiganshina.
They split up to find their families. Eren felt sick as he ran past the bodies of people he had spent his childhood pestering.
When he made it to where his house once was, he found it flattened, and his mother crushed under the rubble.
“Mum!” He runs over to her and desperately tries to heave the pieces of wood off.
“Eren… Just run, it’s too late for me.”
“No! I can do it-“
Eren steps back, preparing to throw away everything his dad taught him and transform for the first time.
He’s snapped out of his plan when thundering footsteps start approaching them.
“Eren! You need to run!”
Eren locks eyes with the titan coming towards him and stops breathing.
“RUN!”
Memories that aren’t his flicker behind his eyes.
Dina Fritz. His father’s first wife.
“EREN! LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE AND RUN!”
He can’t move, his body frozen as he stares up at the smiling titan.
Suddenly, everything is too real. Everything his father told him is being proven to be true. Marley is coming to finish off the rest of the island devils-
“He’s over there!”
He hears Mikasa’s voice in the distance but can’t bring himself to turn around.
“Mr. Ackerman!” His mother yells out, “Take Eren and run!”
He feels himself being thrown over the shoulder of Mikasa’s father but he doesn’t react.
It’s only when the smiling titan picks up his mother that he comes back to his senses.
She’s going to die.
Eren still can’t find words. He makes choked sounds and flails weakly. He cries out as they get further and further away from Carla.
—
He sits despondent next to Armin and Mikasa, her parents trying to comfort the three children.
“We’ll find your grandfather, Armin. He’ll be on one of these boats. And I’m sure Grisha will come find us once he hears the news.”
Eren screams out his tears and pulls at his hair.
His family is gone.
If only he hadn’t been so afraid, hadn’t hesitated, then his mother might still be here.
He can’t even tell them Grisha won’t be coming back.
—
Famine strikes shortly after the arrival of refugees to Wall Rose. Armin’s grandfather and Mikasa’s father are sent on the mission to reclaim Wall Maria.
Neither of them return.
With no sign of Grisha, the others assume he too got sent away.
The three children, along with Mrs. Ackerman, are sent to work in the fields.
Baby Kaito wasn’t pleased by the change in scenery and spent most days wailing, to the annoyance of the other people on the farm.
The nights are cold and unforgiving in the tiny shelters they’re all crammed into. Eren, Armin and Mikasa cling to each other and Hana for warmth, making sure Kaito has the most layers possible.
Every cough from the baby has them all on edge. Any time he refuses to feed sends the kids into a frenzy.
They often argue over whether Hana should eat more than them, since she’s feeding Kaito as well. The kids push their food to her, which she rejects, wanting them to eat as much as they can.
Hana prays every night for her children to make it through the Winter.
—
As soon as they’re old enough, Eren has Armin and Mikasa sign up for cadets with him.
Eren wants to ensure that the others will be able to achieve a comfortable life in the interior by the time he’s gone.
He plans to have them get into the Military Police. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep them together.
—
Eren doesn’t bother getting close with anyone in cadets. He already has his important people and isn’t interested in widening his circle.
Unfortunately, there’s one person Eren can’t seem to avoid enough.
Jean pisses Eren off, in many ways. The biggest reason being that the other boy is nothing but a selfish prick.
While both of them aspire to join the Military Police, Jean’s motivations are entirely self-serving.
The horse-faced bastard plans to ditch his mother and live in the lap of luxury behind Wall Sina.
Eren tried his best to ignore Jean’s gloating, but his patience reaches its limit as their graduation looms closer.
“Ugh, that old hag is still bothering me, even while I’m training here! She’s always sending letters telling me to take care of myself like I don’t already do it. She even sent me this ugly thing.”
Jean holds up a messily made sweater, continuing his bitching to Connie who is half listening and half watching Sasha deep throat a loaf of bread at an alarming speed.
“I mean, it looks warm. Just wear it to bed or something.” Connie slaps a choking Sasha on the back.
“Hell no. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this anywhere. I’ll just throw it out.”
Eren storms over to Jean’s table, confusing Armin and Mikasa who had been chatting with each other next to Eren.
“Hmm? What do you want?”
Jean looks up at Eren with a raised eyebrow. The two rarely interacted.
Eren doesn’t say anything and instead punches Jean in his left eye, shocking everyone.
Jean stands up, backing away from Eren.
“Dude, what the fuck was that for?”
“You’re an ungrateful, selfish asshole.”
Jean scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You’ve said like, two words to me in the three years since we met. You don’t even know me.”
“I’ve heard the way you talk about your mother. She goes out of her way to look after you and you throw it in her face. Appreciate her more while she’s still alive.”
The dining hall goes silent as everyone watches with bated breath.
“My life has nothing to do with you. You’ve got issues if your instinct is to punch me for having a conversation with my friends. If your mum’s dead - that’s your problem, not mine.”
Eren lunges at Jean, shoving him to the ground.
The two tussle on the floor while the rest of the cadets form a circle around them, cheering on their fight.
Mikasa quickly yanks Eren off Jean, but not before they land a few hits on each other.
“Eren! What are you doing?” She holds him back from attacking Jean again.
Armin stands in between them, attempting to fix the situation.
“We’re so sorry about him- Eren’s not usually like this.”
Him and Mikasa drag Eren outside, attempting to calm Eren down.
“What on earth were you thinking? Why’d you punch him?”
Mikasa narrows her eyes at him when he doesn’t answer.
Armin hugs Eren after noticing the subtle wetness and reddening of his eyes.
“Eren, you can't let people get to you like this. It’s not worth it.”
Mikasa sighs, knowing they won’t change Eren’s mind.
“He had it coming.”
—
Eren doesn’t share the excitement during their graduation.
He worked his ass off during cadet training, pushing Armin and Mikasa to do the same, so they could all rank in the top ten.
It paid off as they’re granted their spots in the interior.
Eren does the maths in his head, only eight years left.
It’s nowhere near long enough to prevent Paradis’ destruction or fix Marley.
He smiles and converses with the rest of the cadets during their last dinner together, ignoring the tension between him and Jean.
His stomach is in knots the entire night.
The next morning, Eren, Armin and Mikasa leave for Wall Sina.
Before the departure, they spend a lengthy amount of time crying and cuddling Hana and Kaito, promising to write letters and visit whenever possible.
Eren promises they’ll send her enough money for her to join them in Wall Sina soon.
Eren spots Jean speaking to his mother as well. Despite his previous comments, Jean acts remarkably kind to her this time, insisting that he’ll get her out of their shabby house.
Maybe people can change.
—
The next few years pass in a blur.
Eren decides to start medical training again, taking on patients from the Military Police Ranks, and those associated with them.
Before long, he’s known as ‘Dr. Jaeger’ when he’s on duty.
He internally cringes every time someone refers to him that way.
Although, he’s honestly glad to have a reason to ditch Military Police assignments. Most of the other MP’s are useless or outright corrupt.
When he can, Eren leverages his position as the renowned doctor to have Mikasa and Armin assigned with him if he has to complete missions.
Most of his days consist of sitting in the Military Police headquarters, waiting in the infirmary for someone injured or sick to visit him.
Eren’s eighteenth birthday nearly goes by without him realising.
He gets back to him and Armin’s room, shocked when he sees the space decorated and his friends waiting excitedly.
“Happy birthday, Eren!” They shout happily.
He recounts in his head.
Five years.
“You guys didn’t need to do all this.”
Eren sits on his bed, next to Armin.
“A ‘thank you’ would have sufficed.”
Eren rolls his eyes, “Thank you or whatever.”
Mikasa huffs but hands him a small box.
“We got you a little something.”
Eren opens the gift, finding a necklace inside.
He holds it up and sees that it has a circular metal charm with a wave pattern on it.
Eren stares at the necklace, his eyes wide and mouth agape.
“Where… How did you get this?”
Not many people knew about or believed in the sea.
“We had it custom made. We even got something special put in the back.”
Mikasa flips the charm, showing two fingerprints etched into the metal.
Eren sniffles as he puts the necklace on, smiling at both of them. If possible, he’s never going to take it off.
“Thank you…”
He hopes they’ll bury him with it.
—
Eren knows he should tell them.
They deserve some warning about his inevitable demise.
As days pass, he becomes more and more conscious of his deadline, and the impossible task he’s been burdened with.
But when he sits with them, talking about the house they’ll all live in, thinking about how much Kaito has grown since they’ve been away, discussing their future plans and goals..
He can’t stand to shatter the illusion.
Eren would rather let his father down and allow the world to crumble if it meant shielding Armin and Mikasa from the truth.
If they were directly threatened, he’d reveal himself. But so far, there hadn’t been a second attack after what happened to Shiganshina.
So he waits, letting his titan power lay dormant for the eighth year.
—
“Dr. Jaeger, a woman is here to speak with you.”
“Let her in.”
Eren pauses reading his textbook to face his next patient.
The woman, likely in her thirties or forties, pushes her hood off, revealing short blonde hair.
He nearly falls off his chair when he recognises her.
It was the woman from the photo.
Dina Fritz.
His father’s first wife.
The titan that ate his mum.
Eren screams, scrambling into the corner of the room.
“W-What are you doing here? Get out!”
Dina looks taken aback, cautiously putting her hands up and stepping away from Eren.
“…Do you know me?” She asks hesitantly.
Eren mentally slaps himself. She has no idea Eren has seen her before. He needs to get a grip.
He shakily sits back down in his chair.
“What did you come here for?”
“I’m looking for Dr. Jaeger. Is he out right now?”
“I’m Dr. Jaeger.”
Dina pauses.
“Was your father also Dr. Jaeger?”
Eren sighs. There’s no getting out of this.
“Yes. He passed away years ago.”
She frowns, averting her gaze to the floor.
“I see…”
Silence fills the room as they both avoid looking at each other.
Eren has so many questions.
How was she here?
He knows from his father’s memories that she definitely turned into a titan.
Had she also become a titan shifter somehow?
He can’t ask these questions without giving himself away, and can’t trust her just yet.
He’ll test her honestly.
“Did you know my father?”
“I did. Quite well, in fact. But… You already know that, don’t you?”
“You were married to my father.”
She looks surprised.
“He… Told you?”
“He told me many things.”
Dina sits down in the patient’s chair.
“I have time if you want to discuss this. I spent eight years looking for Grisha.”
Eren takes a deep breath, his hands shaking from the weight of the secrets he’s been hiding.
Realistically, neither of them can expose each other. This is probably his only chance to talk to someone who can understand the full truth.
“I possess the Attack and Founding titans.”
Her eyes widened.
“D-Did you inherit them from Grisha?”
Eren nods.
Dina covers her mouth with her hand.
“We both have a lot to share, I assume.”
“Clearly…”
—
Eren tells Dina everything he learnt from Grisha, and admits to having seen her in Shiganshina.
Dina is horrified to know that she ate Carla, even if she had no control over the matter.
Eren quickly steers the conversation away from the topic.
Dina explains what she can remember after waking up in Shiganshina, and what she can piece together from the memories of the previous shifter.
She gained the power of the Colossal titan from a Marleyan warrior.
Their mission had been to breach the wall and infiltrate Paradis.
Eren and Dina come to the conclusion that after having lost two of their shifters during the early stages of the mission, the remaining two warriors must have fled and returned home.
Marley was likely biding their time and planning another attack.
A knock sounds on the door.
“Dr. Jaeger, a patient is here to see you.”
“One moment please.” He calls out.
Dina stands up.
“I should go. I’m glad we could talk.”
Eren feels conflicted.
“We’re no closer to ‘saving’ Paradis.”
“I’ll come visit another time. We can discuss more at a later date.”
She puts her hand out.
“Nice meeting you, Eren.”
He shakes her hand.
“Likewise-“
Eren’s head throbs as memories and events flash in his mind.
“You must really take after your mother. I barely see Grisha in you.”
She bows before heading off.
Eren doesn’t have it in him to respond.
He crumbles to the ground once the door closes, heaving for air.
They both only have five years left.
And he’s seen all of them.
“Dr. Jaeger? The patient is still waiting.”
He sits back down in his chair, straightening his posture.
“Let them in.”
He’ll find a way to apologise to Armin and Mikasa at some point.