Chapter Text
It was the usual evening in Vigil's Keep. All the Wardens and recruits had just finished dining. Circe and her Senior Wardens were in the middle of training their newest recruits and they were all exhausted. They had five new recruits. Young ones, not one over 25. She hoped they would all survive The Joining. They were not harsh with them, but she didn't do any hazing. Everything they do is for a purpose and they had to understand it. They were not out there playing games.
They had a brief each night before the next day's activities. Circe would rather Nathaniel or Velanna did it, but with all the new recruits they barely had time for each other, so she gave them an evening off.
She went to her office. She wasn't spending much time there, so she kept it simple - a wooden office desk, a bookcase, an armchair and a sofa. All beautifully hand carved. A hand knotted wool carpet and tiny oval shape mirror and a huge arched window.
There were lots of scrolls on the table. That reminded her that she had some paperwork to deal with. She hated that. It was highly annoying.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Samuel came in, breathless, before she managed to answer.
"Commander... I'm sorry to disturb you... but we have an unexpected visit... by The King himself."
She jumped off the chair.
"Thank you, Samuel." He nodded and closed the door behind him.
Samuel was a young mage, one of her finest young Brothers. He reminded her of Anders with his wittiness and sarcastic sense of humor.
Oh, Anders... She'd always known he was going to leave them, but so suddenly...
He was a good friend, a good Warden. Circe and Anders never fought, never had disagreements. One day, he just said he wanted to be alone for the night. In the morning, when the others woke up, they found out that he was gone. He hadn't left one trail after him. Like he'd never existed.
Circe snapped out of her thoughts. She tucked her bright blonde hair behind the ear, fixed her armor and headed to the front yard of Vigil's Keep. As she was near, she could hear the laughter of other Wardens. Alistair was undoubtedly amusing them with his stories.
She was nervous; she hadn't seen him in months. Circe took a deep breath. Two more steps... and there he was – still so beautiful, with that boyish smile. He glanced at her. Yes... that cute, once innocent boy was now The King. The years of this tiresome and hard duty were showing on his face.
Circe approached and bowed, smiling. "Your Majesty."
He rolled his eyes and lifted her chin. "Please, arise. You know I hate it when you do that. "
She got up, giggling. "Hello, Alistair."
"Hello, Circe." He smiled and caressed her face. He loved her soft dark skin. "You haven't changed a bit," he said.
Circe smiled. "Let's go inside." He nodded.
As they approached her office, he asked, "So... how are things here?"
"Well… The new recruits are advancing rapidly. It's the most emotionally and physically demanding experience of their lives, all at the same time... but you know that already," she said. "Sometimes it's just too much for them."
"Oh, don't get me even started..." he chuckled. "Any news from Amaranthine?"
"All is well, my King," she smiled as they entered her office.
"And you, my dear..." he took her in his arms. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, Alistair."
The last time Alistair looked into her mesmerizing light green eyes seemed like forever. He leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her lips. She caressed his back slowly. She knew where this was leading: to her bedroom. She didn't mind. She'd accepted it years ago... and she knew, in time, that she wasn't the only one anymore.
But there was something different. She hadn't seen him for a long time and something had changed. Circe frowned and pulled away from him.
"Alistair..." she asked as she sat down, "tell me... Why this sudden visit?"
"You…know me so well," he said. Then he sighed.
"I've been very busy, my dear. Even now... I don't know if I will be able to come and see you soon enough. We... need to talk," he sat down on the sofa.
"You've spent a lot of time in Highever," she said bluntly. He winced. "Oh, Alistair... we're not young Wardens anymore. You're the King now. People talk. I know all about Lady Cousland."
He lowered his head. "I... yes," he sighed again. "I can't lie to you. I can't run away from it anymore. I'll marry her."
Circe got up and approached him. For a moment Alistair thought she was going to slap him. But she didn't. She caressed his cheek.
"As you should," she said. "You need heirs, darling. We always knew it would come to this. "
He nuzzled her hand. "I'm sorry. It's very hard to tear myself away from you." He kissed her palm. "This doesn't have to be-"
"Yes, it has to be an end, Alistair," she interrupted him. "We were always good... great friends. And we'll stay like that."
He caressed her hand. "So this is goodbye."
"Goodbye, Alistair."
He got up and gave her a peck on the cheek. Circe closed her eyes.
When she opened them, he was already at the door.
"Alistair!" she cried after him.
"Yes?"
"Wait... I wanted to ask you something..."
"Anything." He smiled.
"I've been thinking for these past months. I want to... find Cullen... and recruit him. "
"Cullen? That Templar?" he asked surprised.
"Yes," she almost whispered.
"You know you don't need my permission to do that. Just... remember what happened the last time you saw him. And I heard some rumors-"
"I know," she interrupted him again. "I just..." she sighed, "wanted you to agree..."
"Circe... I know you've always loved him. Since the day I met you, you've worn that amulet he'd given you." He shook his head. "Even though I gave you much prettier and more expensive ones." He took a deep sigh and continued. "We've been through so much together. I just want you to be happy. So go... Find him."
Alistair came back over to her and embraced her as his lover for the last time.
"Thank you," she smiled. He returned her smile and left.
Soon she heard the clatter of horses' hooves moving away. Circe felt tears trickling down her cheeks. She wiped the tears from her face and went to her bedroom, took off her armor slowly and curled up in the bed. She stared at the empty walls that used to conceal the sounds of their laughter, the sounds of their love making...
The sounds of her pain, her crying...
She kept thinking... Alistair and her, over... Cullen... yes! Find Cullen...
With all those thoughts, she dozed off.