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“So how do those two work, do you think?” Ando asks to Toyama quietly. Uma ears are large; he doesn’t want either of them to overhear him. It’s rare enough to run into an uma outside of the racecourse, what with how heavily the human population outnumbers them; it’s even rarer to run into umas as well known as Mihono Bourbon (riding a scooter while recovering from a leg injury) and Rice Shower.
“I mean, I thought they would hate each other. I’d hate Rice if I were Bourbon, blowing up her triple crown chances like that,” Toyama says.
“Right? That hurt to watch, man, I can’t imagine being the one who actually lost the race.”
It’s clear, however, that the two of them do not hate each other. They’re holding hands, in fact. Ando can’t say they’re holding hands particularly well—Rice seems annoyingly shaky and Bourbon is holding Rice’s hand like someone who has only seen people holding hands in pictures. If it weren’t for the fact they clearly don’t think they’re being watched, Ando would wonder if they were being forced to.
“Even without that. The Cyborg and the Assassin? How does that work? The uma without emotions and the one that kills people’s dreams?”
“Shh,” Ando says, and pulls Toyama behind a banner on the street as Rice and Bourbon stop at one of the stalls.
“I have calculated a high probability that you would like a blue rose,” Bourbon says robotically. “This stall appears to dye their flowers blue. They are not naturally grown, however, I would… like to give you a gift regardless.”
“Boubon,” Rice says.
“If you are displeased, please state so.”
“No, no, I, I love it, I love it, Bourbon! I didn’t know you’d realized I liked that book.”
“It is on your personal racewear.”
“O-oh. You paid attention?”
“I consider you my… you are important to me,” Bourbon says.
“Holy shit,” Toyama says.
“She’s as robotic as the rumors say in-person. And the shy act from Rice? I can’t believe that’s working,” Ando says.
Bourbon buys Rice the rose while the two humans watch. Briefly, Ando considers if he should take pictures or something. It’s pretty rare to see Twinkle Series runners outside of either Tracen Academy or the races themselves; seeing one still recovering from injury, like Bourbon, is even rarer. As a result, the main thing known of their relationships is what they reveal in interviews. Photos of Twinkle Series runners showing them in their day-to-day money can go for a lot to the press. There are the rumors that the gods might curse him for doing something like that, but, well… the money.
He’s starting to pull out his phone when Toyama grabs his shoulder and points. Rice is now teary-eyed.
“You don’t have to do all of this for me,” she says.
“You are dear to me,” Bourbon says. “You are… hold.”
Carefully, the larger uma balances her flowers in the basket of her scooter. She tries to move one of her legs for a moment before starting to lose her balance. Rice yelps and goes to grab her. “Oh no, don’t, don’t fall over—”
“Apologies. I have miscalculated my balance with my leg injury.”
“You have to be careful! You said you wanted to train with me and, and I don’t run as well unless you’re running too! So you have to get better!” Rice says, lifting Bourbon back into her scooter with startling strength for a girl her size. She helps Bourbon balance and then, carefully, starts to help Bourbon move away from the flower stall to get out of the way. For someone who’d been too nervous to hold hands earlier, she’s suddenly incredibly sure of herself. This, Ando realizes, is the Rice he’d expected to see. This is the Rice that followed Bourbon like a deadly shadow in all of her races until the day she’d overtaken her and destroyed her dreams. This is the Assassin that had earned the nickname, and she’s putting all that strength into helping her rival stay upright.
Ando and Toyama are totally silent.
“I had intended to kiss you. My data suggested that at this point on a date, that is what I ought to do. Additionally, I had wished to celebrate your decision to enter a second Tenno Sho, as you still have bad memories of the first one. However, I have never kissed someone before, and I do not know how to understand… ‘the moment’. My data suggests I may have lost it.”
“Oh!” squeaks Rice Shower.
“My apologies,” Bourbon says.
“No, no, that’s—we can still celebrate! The flower is a really good celebration, and we’re going to get cake later, and, and that seems like a really good reason to—you want to kiss me?”
“Yes. I believe so. I have, with master’s help, identified the emotion I feel towards you as ‘love’.”
Rice Shower turns almost entirely red.
“Oh,” she says. “I don’t—I don’t think I’ve, um, ever had someone love me before. Not… not for a long time. People normally cheer against me.”
“I do not.”
“I know,” Rice says. “I know you don’t, Bourbon, and I, I’ve always… Even before we met, watching you, I always…”
The two of them trail off. Suddenly, Ando finds himself feeling horribly guilty, and he’s not sure why. Surely it’s normal to be disappointed and upset when an uma breaks the potential record-breaking achievements of two other umas in a row, right? Surely it’s normal to root against the person who prevents history from being made, again and again?
But the person who could have made that history—
“I also calculate that there is a 75% chance that Golshi appears shortly to drag us to another party that Team Sirius has set up to celebrate your entry into the Tenno Sho. I do not know if we’ll have time to regain ‘the moment’, as it were.”
“We could practice!” Rice suggests. “So, so that if we have another moment—if… If that’s really what you want. If I’m really who you want.”
“You are. I am still learning to understand my emotions, but I know this,” Bourbon says. There’s a long, awkward silence. “I still cannot lean in on my scooter without putting myself at further risk of injury.”
“I’ll stand on my toes,” Rice says, and she gets up to kiss her.
“Come on, look away,” Ando says suddenly.
“What? I was gonna get a picture! Do you know how much the tabloids—” Toyama starts.
“Nah. We wait until they’re done practicing,” Ando says. He feels stupid the moment he does, but in truth, there’s just something crushing his chest. He doesn’t want to be here anymore.
“Indeed! Once my friends are done practicing, they will be better kissers than even a lovefish!” announces someone from behind him. Both Ando and Toyama scream. Behind them, they hear Rice scream as well.
They turn around. Somehow, the massive Gold Ship has wound up behind them. There are rumors about that uma.
“Now, I have come in order to kidnap Rice and Bourbon! I am planning on dropping them in a distant hot spring, where they will have to rely on each other and their love to escape! Indeed, this is the perfect celebration of their decision to finally make a move!” Gold Ship nods as though any of those words in that order make sense. Ando backs up. “Unfortunately, Brian has forbidden me from kidnapping anyone! She does not understand the meaning of fun.”
“Do you?” Toyama asks, unbidden.
“Of course! Have you ever celebrated a milestone any other way?”
“Yes?”
“Doesn’t matter! So Brian doesn’t find out, I need to make sure I don’t have witnesses,” Gold Ship says.
…there are rumors about this uma.
“We didn’t see anything!” Ando says, before grabbing Toyama’s arm and dragging him away as fast as he can. Thankfully, Gold Ship doesn’t chase; no human could ever outrun an uma in a fair race, but she seems willing to take ‘we didn’t see anything’ at his word.
“See that you didn’t!” Gold Ship shouts after them. Neither Ando nor Toyama dare to turn back. However, as they round the corner, the last thing they hear is Rice’s laughter, right alongside the strangely hesitant laugh of Mihono Bourbon.
Ando finds himself thinking that ‘Android’ and ‘Assassin’ maybe don’t quite fit either of them at all. Somehow, he can’t bring himself to mind.