Chapter Text
“Ella, honey, grab your coat. It’s cold outside.”
“But I don’t want to, Mummy,” the little girl complained and stuck out her bottom lip in an adorable pout.
“Charlotte, get Ella’s coat on.” River sighed, exasperated, and motioned for her oldest daughter to help Ella. She was busy packing lunch for all three of her children, who would be off to school soon (or so she hoped). It was Ella and Josh’s first year of school, and though they had been looking forward to it for a long time, the novelty had now worn off, much to River’s chagrin. These days it was all she could do to get the three of them out the door on time.
“Mummy, I can’t find it,” whined Charlotte, who was the eldest of the three at nearly ten now.
River huffed. “Oh, for goodness’ sake, Charlotte, it’s right here!”
Meanwhile, Josh had found the peanut butter and was busy dipping his finger into the jar and licking the peanut butter off. River sighed to herself and called to him to get his hands out of that jar right now or no dessert for you. Then she told Ella to stop whining about that coat this instant, it’s cold outside and yes, Josh and Charlotte have to wear them too. Then she told Charlotte to get your bags and make sure to shut off the bedroom light.
She glanced at the clock and noticed with dismay that it was already a quarter to nine. With a soft groan she ran her hands through her mess of curls (not yet brushed- what mother had time for that?) and realized they were going to be late yet again. And where on earth was her husband? Not on earth at all, she suspected. She felt a mild flash of annoyance, though she knew it wasn’t his fault. The Doctor was off visiting an old friend who’d been going through some rough times recently- an errand which she had sent him on- but the fact was, he was never around when River needed him these days, now was he? He had a bloody time machine; he could pop off and visit their friend and be back in seconds. Yet he was perpetually late.
River finished packing the lunches and packed them up in Josh and Ella’s bags, noting that Charlotte’s bag was, as of yet, nowhere to be seen. She called up the stairs to her eldest daughter, “Charlotte, it’s time to go! Bring your bag down.”
“But, Mum, I can’t find my book!” River heard thumping sounds issuing from above and realized Charlotte was probably running around looking for her book. With an exaggerated eye roll, she spotted the volume on the kitchen table where Charlotte had been reading while eating breakfast.
“It’s down here, sweetheart. Now come on, you’re going to be late for school!”
More thumping sounds could be heard as Charlotte rushed down the stairs with her backpack in hand. River handed her the book and the lunch, both of which she promptly stuck in her bag.
Several minutes later, River had successfully loaded all three children into the car. She started up the car and pulled out of the driveway, a feeling of relief washing over her when she glanced at the clock. Five to nine. Good. They were almost on time. And best of all, they had everything they needed for the day.
“Um, Mummy, Josh forgot his backpack.” Ella’s voice drifted up to the front, shattering River’s content.
She groaned. This was going to be one long day.
***
It couldn’t have been that long, but to River it felt like hours later that she finally got home. Exhausted, she hung up her keys and slumped against the wall, stifling a yawn. Finally she stretched and took off her shoes, going upstairs to take care of a few things.
Several minutes later and with freshly brushed hair, River headed downstairs. Hearing knocking at the door, she frowned; she wasn’t expecting anyone today. She opened the door to reveal the Doctor on the doorstep, wearing a fez and smiling at her.
“Hi, honey, I’m home.”
“And what sort of time do you call this?” She wanted to be annoyed, she truly did, but she couldn’t quite manage to muster the exasperation required.
The Doctor grinned and took her hand as he pushed past her and through the door, spinning her around and off her feet into a quick kiss before setting her upright once more.
“How’re the kids?” It was always the first thing he asked when he got home from one of his trips. Though, River noted with satisfaction, the trips were getting fewer and further between these days; he had a family to take care of, after all. And though the occasional wanderlust did set in, he managed the domestics better than River would have thought possible, especially given that he had the attention span of a five year old.
“They’ve missed you,” River told him, unable to suppress her smile. “Same as ever.”
“I’ve missed them, too,” the Doctor grinned, his floppy hair spilling into his eyes. River reached up to sweep it out of the way, taking the opportunity to not-so-discreetly knock the fez to the floor.
“Rivah!” he protested, but she shook her head and smirked at him.
“No fez, sweetie.” Her voice had that commanding tone that only she could muster, stern yet still laced with a playful undertone.
“But it’s a fez! Fezzes are cool.”
“And so are bowties, I suppose,” she replied, amused, reaching up to straighten his perpetually crooked bowtie. She rather liked the bowtie, it was true, though she’d never admit it.
The Doctor smiled and took her hand in his own, tracing circular words of endearment onto her palm. His fingers brushed over her wedding ring and she couldn’t help but smile. They could finally do that now, wear wedding rings. She hummed contentedly and leaned her head onto his chest, listening to his double heartbeat. There were no more spoilers, just River and her Doctor forever.
***
“Daddy!” Ella’s voice rang out across the noisy playground as she ran towards her father. He picked her up and whirled her around before setting her back on the ground in front of him.
“How was school, Ella?” he asked, and she grinned.
“Okay. Joshie almost got sent to the headmaster’s office!”
“What for?” River interjected. Could be that this was just one of Ella’s stories; then again, Josh did have a reputation for getting into trouble.
“He called Annie a moron, and then Mrs. Johnson told him to stop ‘cept he wouldn’t. So she said she’d send him to the headmaster’s office but he stopped.”
“Is this true, Joshua?” River asked the other twin, who was just arriving at the scene.
“’Course not, Mummy.”
“Is too true!”
“Is not!”
“Is too!”
“Is n-”
River cleared her throat loudly and the twins looked up at her.
“Do I need to go visit Mrs. Johnson?”
“No, Mummy,” said Josh meekly.
Meanwhile, Charlotte had made her way over to them. She’d been walking with a couple of her friends but had broken away when she’d realized her father was home.
“Dad!” she ran up and threw her arms around him. “I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Me too.” The Doctor smiled. “I missed you all very much.”
“I want a hug, too, Daddy,” Ella pouted, and the Doctor scooped her up and twirled her around in a circle, causing the little girl to squeal and giggle.
“Do it again, do it again!” she chanted.
“Josh’s turn first,” River told her daughter, who stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout.
Watching the Doctor play with her children- their children- River couldn’t help but smile. He was so good with them; he loved them very much, and it was clear that they absolutely adored their father. It wasn’t surprising they got on so well, really; the Doctor was still a child at heart. He possessed a playful quality and an enthusiasm that surpassed even that of most children, and she loved him for it.
***
Every night, she dreamed. Sometimes she dreamed of her past life, of life before she settled down to have a family with the man she loved. Sometimes they were nightmares about a Library, about shadows that moved and a Doctor who didn’t recognize her. She didn’t know why she dreamed of these things, where her imagination dreamt them up, but she did all the same.
It was from one such dream that she awoke that night, gasping, head pounding and skin burning all over. They always ended the same way, those nightmares- the feeling of her body being engulfed in flames, a burning crown of metal cutting into her forehead. And that sense of sorrow, of love lost and the realization that this was the end for her.
She shook and trembled all over, and he held her like he always did. Her husband. Her Doctor. She didn’t know what she’d do without him here beside her, didn’t know what she’d do if he ever left. When they’d first come here, so long ago, she’d been fearful that she’d hear the sound of the TARDIS one morning and wake up to find him gone. But her worst fears weren’t to be realized. He’d stayed then, he was here now, and all the times he’d left in the past were forgiven.
Always and completely forgiven. You are always and completely forgiven.
The words drifted through her mind, and in her half-conscious state they seemed almost as if from another life. As if this wasn’t real, this life, as if her half-forgotten memories were more of a reality than her current life. She wondered how even when she was awake she sometimes thought she was dreaming. Something was strange about this place. She’d noticed it shortly after they’d come to live here. Things seemed less solid, less tangible than they used to be. Her memories of living here were muted, imbued with an almost dreamlike quality. Sometimes it felt like time stretched on for hours and hours, while other times days passed in what felt like the blink of an eye. Some days she couldn’t even remember what she’d done in the last hour, let alone recall how she came to live there on Luna with the Doctor.
There were people here, too; her neighbors were always in the Library dream, and it was unnerving. They were all there: Mister Lux, the two Daves, Anita. And Miss Evangelista. There was something… off in the way she looked at River, as if she could see right through her, as if she knew that something wasn’t right. Every time she met Evangelista’s eyes, the tattered spacesuit and blankly staring skull of her dreams always came to mind.
River tried to ignore it, but the feeling that something was wrong haunted her day and night. She told no one, not even the Doctor, about her dreams.
Dreams were not real, and she did not want to shatter a reality as near perfection as was possible with fears that were completely unfounded.