Chapter Text
Homura Akemi remembered the day she was born.
She was one of those people who could fully recollect the time where their first breaths were taken, when they saw their mother crying in happiness, the lights set by the doctors too bright to comprehend.
She remembered her mother, Supaku, cradling her body in her arms, little hands reaching out for her face, eyes blurry and wet. She remembered the doctors cheering, and one wiping a bead of sweat from his face, relieved at the prospect of something going well.
And it went by so fast.
She was a toddler, chewing on the plush toy her mother bought on her 3rd birthday.
She was a child, trying to read a Japanese poem in front of her 2nd grade class, the text too blurry to make out. It was also the day she bought herself those red glasses. The brand “Rim Specter” ringing out in her head like a catchy rhyme.
And then she was 13. She was now considered a young teenager, moving onto the next stage of life. And soon, she would have to face responsibility as an adult.
But as her mother said, there doesn’t need to be a reason for Homura to take this period of life too hard. “Just go with the flow. Focus on what kind of future you will have, and focus on obtaining it.” That was what she would say.
But Homura didn’t have a dream or a future. She thinks that she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve anything. She thinks that people would find her too off-putting to befriend, adults would see her as too ordinary to achieve anything worthwhile in life. She just… Felt a sense of emptiness despite nothing warranting it. She felt like… The world she’s living in feels too perfect. Too good. Too stagnant. Why does somebody like her deserve it? There’s always got to be a twist. What if this world was fake? What if it was a facade? What if it was a stage play for a 1-star actress that would be pelted by tomatoes mid-performance?
She didn’t blend in nor stand out. Growing up, she didn’t make any meaningful bonds or friendships. The only person she can consider her “friend”, is her mother, who always felt like she had her at a very young age. It’s hard to imagine that she is around 35 years old. Supako was always not the best mother, she herself admitted one time. She was always far too busy with her work selling school supplies from home, but when there was time, she always devoted it to making sure her daughter was provided with the food, games and resources she needed. Homura felt like she doesn’t deserve her mother’s kindness, and Supaku felt that she never had enough time to show how much she loved her daughter. It was a strained relationship as a result of a sense of self loathing.
Soon, it was 2025. Homura had just turned 16. She was about to enter 11th grade for her high school. 6:00. She woke up, throwing away the blanket covering her eyes and yawned. She put her hands together, made a cross sign (she got it this time. Thank God as always) and did a quick morning prayer. She put on her glasses placed by the table next to the bed, and jumped down the bed.
She went outside of her room and walked to the bathroom, carrying the school uniform her mother just got her. It was a bit more complicated than the other school uniforms at Mitakihara. From what she saw about the school she’s going to online, it seems like a more advanced version of their middle school uniform. Still a cream-ish color with a big bow and checkered patterns at the sleeves and the end of the blazer with the main difference is that its less sweater-like and more-so a button up. There’s also an extra blazer with a specialized badge used to identify the school. It’s… Pretty. It’s obviously better than her old sailor fuku she used to wear for her old school, and it fits to a t. She showered for a bit, and begun putting on her uniform.
She walked back into her room and approached the mirror on the table in front of her bed, grabbing her hair comb. She began brushing her hair as usual, and finishing it off by messily making pigtails. Or whatever they are, as they barely resembled the neat tied pigtails she had seen on anime and fashion magazines. It looks more like she had just attached two snakes that have been cursed to be hair on her head.
“Homura-! You’re awake.” Supaku exclaimed as Homura walked down the stairs. The dining room was the living room, so she would always eat in front of the tv.
“I made breakfast. Nothing much really, just leftovers.” She kneeled in front of the coffee table and looked at the bento box in front of her. Steaming. Supaku was watching a gameshow on tv, holding a mug of coffee in her hand. It would always air in the morning and she would watch it every day before working. Homura doesn’t consider herself a tv fan, but she’s the type of person to watch whatever is on it when it’s on.
“I-I’m kinda afraid of what’s gonna happen in school today.” She said. “I’m worried the kids will make fun of me for that…”
Supaku glanced at her daughter, smiling in pity. “Well, I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time much better here. Mitakihara High has a much more strict anti-bully policy. If not, you know you can always call, right?”
Homura munched on her food. “Hmm.”
“Well, if you’re not feeling good, you can always talk to the school therapist! Maybe they can help with-“
“No mom.” Homura interrupted, “I’m better off alone.”
“Alone?” Supaku tilted her head, “Dear… I know you don’t have much friends, but trust me. The moment you connect with someone, the better person you become, well, depending on who you connect with.”
Supaku looked in Homura’s eyes. Supaku, is best described as a much older Homura with shorter hair and much more traumatized eyes. Adults and neighbors would always say that Homura is somehow Supaku’s cloned child. Looking back, it’s weird how her child is just 99% of her genes. Just like that man’s capacity to care, his genes didn’t even try.
“I won’t judge you for the friends you make, as long as they are well-intentioned. Just… I want you to be happy. Hopefully one day, you’ll make many friends, and maybe, get into meaningful relationships.”
Homura starred back. She… Didn’t say much. “Okay…”
“Well, that’s settled, I already called your taxi. It’ll arrive at 7, so be prepared before then.” Supaku turned the tv off before getting up, placing her mug on the table. “I’ll be off for work at the store today. If you need anything, call. Just don’t use your phone during lessons.”
“Bye, mom.” “See you soon, sweetheart.”
Homura looked down at her food and sighed. Did she deserve friends? Can she-?