Chapter Text
jungkook loved taehyug so mu ch that he wrote him a letter
"I want ur eggplant (eggplant emoji)" it read
taehyung was confused but walked into his and handed him an eggplant
the end
his room*
jungkook and taehyung loved each other so much they decided to get married
everyone showed up except yoongi bc he was too busy sleeping
hes the worst
taehyung cried
so did namjoon
jin just wanted to eat
let him leave his life guys
the end
*live
okay so taehyung and jungkook were in love with each other but jimin was jealous bc he loved kookie with all of his heart
he tried to propose to jungkook with a cookie but jungkook just gave it to taehyung
"sorry jimin but taehyung already gave me his eggplant"
jimin cried
the end
taehyung likes..,, children and so he has his own and its his lovely son
jungkook looks at him and says whered you buy that one from
he says me and jimin had it im dumping him for u
jungkook says u cant, im pregnant
taehyung says thats impossible
fast foward nine months and he has his baby out the butt and tae and jungkook become jimins sister wives
the end
jimin bought a dog to try to get over jungkook, he named him kookie
"you love me dont you kookie?"
kookie walked away from jimin and started playing with an eggplany
jimin cried
the end
*eggplant
hoseok loved jimin with all of his heart and wanted jimin to be happy again
"look at my dance jimin"
he started twerking
"why this" jimin cried
he started twerking too
the end
jin looked in the mirror and sighed "why am i so pretty"
the end
namjoon loved jin so much but knew he could never get with him
jin loved himself the most
he tried offering food to jin but jin hardly glanced at him as he stuffed it all into his mouth
namjoon cried
so did jimin
the end
why did jimin cry?
jimin cried bc hes a loser
the end
jimin thought tat he could win jungkooks heart if he danced in front of him
he started to whip but got no reaction
hoseok came out of nowhere and started to twerk
jungkook clapped
jimin cried
the ens
"You know what jungkook i dont love you anymore i love namjoonc
"okay jimmy"
jimin cried
and so did namjoon
the end
hoeok was twerking sadly in the background as he wat ch ed
when will jimin be his
the end
jimin wondered if he changed his name to jimmy will jungkook love him
taehyung laughed at him
jimin *jimmyc cried
the end
yoongi woke up and noticed everyone crying and hoseok crying
"i hate this family"
he went back to sleep
the end
*hoseok twerking
*hoseok twerking while crying
jin shook yoongi awake
"this family is out of control help me you deadbeat dad"
"no im tired"
"thats it im leaving you for namjoon"
jin said tearfully
yoongi cried
namjob cried out of happiness
jimin cried because hes lonely
jin got divorced but figured he liked his single life
namjoon cried
jimmy cried with him out of pity
and relief, for he is not the only lone soul in this world
the end
*bts needs t stop crying, im suing them
jimmy got the mail this morning
in it he found a lawsuit
he cried
because it was a suit about him crying
the end
jungkook was bored and decided to write another letter to taehyung
"i love your banana (banana emoji) (wet emoji)"
taehyung is still confused
the end
"mom why does jungkook love my food so much" taehyung asked jin
jin patted his head and said "youll understand when youre older"
"but im older than jungkook"
"r u sure u act like ur 5 everyday"
taehyung cried
the end
but taehyung was not satisfied with that answer, so with tears in his eyes he ran to yoongi
"dad why does jungkook say he loves my food"
yoongi jerks awake and punches tae in the face by accident
taehyung cried
yoongi cried
the end
jin walked into the room as yoongi punched taehyung "this is wy i left you"
yoongi cried
so did namboob
he was watching the whole thing
why doesnt taehyung call him dad
the end
namjoon is getting himself a glass of water one day
taehyung goes up to him
youre not my real dad!
he pours his water on namjoon
namjoob cries
it mixes with the water on his face
very poetic
the end
jimin saw jungkook give taehyung a letter and thought he should try that too
"i loaf you (bread emoji)"
jungkook laughed
jimin smiled
"hey tae look at this letter jimmy gave me what a nerd"
jimin cried
the end
throughout the entire time, hoseok has been collecting everyones tears in little jars so that one day whats his name will love jom back
the end
*him
He decided to make it into a potion,,,
he puts it into another dudes food
jin ends up eating it because he cant not eat
yoongi sees him crying
Jim loves yoongi again
Hoseok makes a fucked up face because he messed up
the end