Work Text:
It isn't until you finish the drawing that you hesitate. You had promised yourself that you would post pictures of all the drawings you finished, but none of them up until now had been drawings of strangers on youtube. It felt weird; you didn't know BurningRose like you knew Karkat and she wasn't a fictional character. Was it okay if you posted it? What would she think if she saw it? You scold yourself at the ridiculous thought of her stumbling upon and praising you. You huff, and post it on facebook. It receives seven likes. Karkat messages you and convinces you to create a tumblr to post it on. It receives twenty-two notes there, mostly due to Karkat's fairly large follower count.
It isn't until Vriska follows you back that you realize just how popular your art has become. You didn't much care for the "feud" Karkat had with her, fanfic never really interested you. As far as you were concerned, she seemed like a good person. A couple of weeks later she messaged you asking to exchange skypes. The two of you chatted a bit. She asked if she could link John to your art. You said yes. He liked it. Showed it to Rose. She thought it was wonderful. You felt small. Vriska asks if you'd be interested in participating in an event with John. You turn her down with out asking the details.
You meet Rose for the first time at a con. She and the others had been posting about it a little on various accounts. Vriska had been pulling strings as usual and had gotten a meet and greet/panel sort of activity approved. It's about thirty minute drive for you and you brought a watercolor you were quite proud of. You introduce yourself to Vriska (she was fairly easy to identify for a number of reasons) and she greeted you like a childhood friend. You are aware of each individual beat of your heart as you approach the table they sit at. You make note of how their friendship is definitely not an act. Dave has spread as much of himself across John and Rose as he can while still staying his own chair. They're both ignoring him rather well and Jade is doing her best to focus on the fan in front of them. When you reach the front of the line you choke up and are about to apologize and flee when Jade gasps and points to the painting held loosely at your side.
"Did you draw that? It's gorgeous! Rose, look! It's you!"
You glanced down at it and all the imperfections are magnified. Why did you think it would be a good idea to bring this?
"May I see it?" She's curious and you can't fathom why. Surely, she's seen better, but you place it down on the table.
Her fingers hovered over it, tracing without touching. "It's beautiful," she murmured. When her expression changes from awe to something almost pained you worried that she's found some fault with your work. You were surprised when she asked you, "May I keep this? I have some money on me, I can pay you."
"No. No, it's fine. I'd be honored if you kept it." She's your muse, it's only fair.
"Hey, I think I recognize your style. You're friends with Vriska, right?" It's John who spoke but he's was staring at Rose, not you. There seems to be some sort of silent communication between the two done in a matter of seconds.
"Um, yes?"
He nods as if approving your answer.
Later that day, when you're home, skype notifies you of a request.
Big Real Guns: Hello, this is Rose. I apologize for not asking your permission or notifying you that I wished to contact you outside of our introduction today, but I'd prefer not sharing my skype in a semi-public environment. I hope you understand.
Gay Stitches: I Don't Mind.
Big Real Guns: I was curious if you maybe you'd like to go out for coffee sometime? I don't know where you live but I'll be staying near the con's location for its duration, if you'd like to meet up. Privately, this time.
Gay Stitches: That Sounds Splendid. I Believe I Saw A Caribou Coffee Nearby.
Big Real Guns: Does ten tomorrow work?
Gay Stitches: Yes.
Big Real Guns: It's a date then.
Meeting for coffee lead to frequent skype calls which lead to you falling head over heels. And you thought your silly infatuation was bad. This. This is so much worse. You take note of the small quirks she doesn't show in her videos. The little things that indicate your trusted, a friend. The way she brushes her back and looks down when she's nervous. How she cups her chin in her palm and taps her fingers to her cheek when deep in thought.
You don't draw these things, even though you want to. They're too sacred for a canvas, you think.
She hung your painting up in her room. You can see it in her videos.
It's a Friday afternoon and you're bored. You check your subscriptions. Dave has uploaded something new, it has a more click-baity title than his usual content, "OTP CONFIRMED???" You try to recall if he's declared an 'otp' before but fail to think of anything. You click it. The camera angle is awkward, he's filming from behind the couch and has it slanted upwards so you can see the heads of Rose, Jade, and John. They're talking about something, but it's muffled and you can't make it out. John turns towards the camera, makes a face, and tries to give Jade bunny ears. She brushes them away, laughing, and Rose rolls her eyes. And then...
She kisses Jade.
The camera moves quickly and the mic must've been uncovered because then you can hear Dave's purposefully overdramatic reaction and John yelling out, "Nerd!"
You're frozen, shattering slowly.
She messages you on skype.
You
You can't. Do this. Right now.
Big Real Guns: Kanaya, Dave uploaded something today and I need to talk to you before you watch it.
I probably should've told you this before but I was afraid.
I've been seeing Jade for awhile, but I like you too and she understands that.
I would like to continue our romantic relationship.
In fact, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner this weekend?
Kanaya?
Gay Stitches: What
You Still Love Me?
Big Real Guns: Of course, I wouldn't just tease you on like that. We've been talking for months now, I would hope you think better of me.
Gay Stitches: I Do, It's Just, Terrible People Can Come From Unexpected Places And Seeing That Without Any Context
I Jumped To The Worst Conclusion
Big Real Guns:
I'm sorry if it made you panic, but I really would like to continue this. If you're okay with the arrangement.
Gay Stitches: What Were You Thinking For Dinner
Big Real Guns: My place. We're all making various dishes without checking to see how they'll match up. Should be interesting. It's likely to end in take out. Does that sound good?
Gay Stitches: Wonderful, Actually