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"Why are you looking? Stop looking!”
But Anakin couldn’t. This was horrifying.
They should never have come looking. Force forbid that a couple of dead grandfathers should drop in to see their grandchildren every now and then, only to be confronted with this, this-
Abomination.
Obi-Wan was trying to drag him away. They didn’t need to be seeing this. They really, really didn’t.
“Why is he sticking it in his-?”
Why couldn’t he have a normal grandson? Why couldn’t he have a grandson who was a soldier, or a merchant, or a pirate; no, his had to be a Sith-Lord wannabe who masturbated with his lightsaber!
And Rey, she was no better, watching intently and giggling out of her mind all the while. What exactly did Luke teach these two? Maybe Anakin needed to pay him a little visit next.
“Because your grandson is a blasphemous little beast, that’s why.”
“Your granddaughter is the one egging him on!”
“He’s the one who said that he wanted to masturbate with a bloody lightsaber in the first place!”
“Like you’ve never said anything foolish during sex.” Anakin feigned contemplation for a moment. “Of course, it’s not like you’ve had much of a chance, barren as your love-life
was.”
Obi-Wan went red in the face, mouth dropping open. “That was uncalled for.”
“You calling my grandson a beast was uncalled for as well.”
In the background, said beast was still working diligently with his lightsaber.
“I’d not have called your grandson a beast if he weren’t besmirching our entire order!”
“Oh, and your precious star of a granddaughter egging him on and convincing him to go through with it in the first place means nothing whatsoever!”
“Hardly!”
Rey’s delighted cackling brought their attention, however unwillingly, back to the bed where the sinning had occurred. It was over, evidently, and for that Anakin and Obi-Wan were unbelievably grateful. Rey seemed overwhelmed with amusement, and Kylo Ren, at least, seemed repentant.
“My grandfather is looking down on me right now and weeping.”
“Serves him right. Pervert.”
Anakin turned and glared at Obi-Wan.
“‘Hardly.’ Sure.”
He needed to speak with Luke.
Force Ghosts couldn’t slap people, but maybe he would.
-End