Archive of Our Own

Jeno has a problem.

It all has to do with how his best friend keeps bringing guys to their shared apartment and having sex with them. Initially, Jeno was worried that he somehow turned homophobic – a concerning prospect, because he’s an ally, always has been! He’s even prided himself on being Jaemin’s number one defender ever since he was the first person Jaemin came out to when they were thirteen. But in the months since Jaemin started being sexually active, Jeno has accepted that Jaemin sleeping with men isn’t the problem – it’s really just that Jaemin is sleeping with anyone.

The thing is, Jeno is confident in his status as a straight man, but he’s never managed to meet a girl whose company he enjoyed enough to want to date or even have a fling with her. When he and Jaemin moved in together as they started college, he had assumed Jaemin would still stay in that same category with him, that his virgin status would remain in place too, and they would continue their twelve-year-long tradition of spending all their time with each other.

And they do spend most of their time together, walking to class and going to the gym and finding new places to try for lunch and dinner, but there’s a catch – because Jaemin unexpectedly discovered the pleasures of an active sex life within the first weeks of their freshman year, and he’s still reaping the benefits months later. Jeno hadn’t even realized there were so many men who are into other men at their school, but Jaemin has never failed to bring home an entirely unfamiliar partner yet, so there’s clearly a wide selection to choose from.

To be clear, Jeno isn’t mad about Jaemin getting laid so often or anything – he’s always going to be the first to insist that Jaemin, lovely and precious and wonderful as he is, deserves all the happiness in the world. Jeno would never, ever begrudge Jaemin any source of contentment, no matter what. There’s also the fact that Jaemin is incredibly attractive. Being straight doesn’t prevent Jeno from having functioning eyes, and Jaemin would handily win every single looks-based competition in the world, if Jeno were the judge. Frankly, it would be more bizarre and honestly even a little offensive if guys weren’t falling over themselves to spend even just one night with Jaemin. And Jeno admittedly hasn’t spent much time pondering the ins and outs of gay sex, but what he does know is that Jaemin must really enjoy it, if the sounds that come from his bedroom whenever he has someone over are anything to go by.

Which brings Jeno back to the problem – a twofold problem, when it comes down to it. The first part is that Jaemin is loud. It’s not even that surprising, because it makes sense that Jaemin, hyper and excitable as he usually is, would be just as expressive in bed. That being said, Jeno isn’t sure how many more breathy moans and choked pleas for Jaemin’s partner of the night to go harder and faster he can stand to hear. He’s glad Jaemin isn’t having unsatisfying sex, of course, but it just seems a bit excessive.

The second part is the fact that, despite his apparent disinclination to see any of the men he sleeps with more than once, Jaemin has the most generous heart in the world. The guys he brings home never have to experience the walk of shame, because he always sends them off the next day with breakfast and a casual reminder that the sex was only a one-night thing. And as someone who relies solely on Jaemin’s cooking prowess in the mornings because he can’t make an edible breakfast for the life of him, Jeno inevitably has to interact with all these guys in some capacity before they leave, just enough to be polite, all while having to attempt to get past the fact that every one of them probably knows Jaemin’s body in ways he can’t fathom.

It bothers Jeno to an irrational degree, because he’s supposed to be the one person who knows Jaemin better than anyone else, but this is one aspect of Jaemin’s life that he just can’t be part of in any meaningful way. Jaemin has always been a pretty unabashed flirt, but before college, it never went anywhere, which is why it was quite a shock when that suddenly changed. In essentially every other way, Jaemin is the same as always – he just happens to follow all the way through with his flirting now. So Jeno can only wonder what brought on Jaemin’s newfound and unanticipated desire for frequent sexual activity.

He finally decides to bring it up one night while they’re in the middle of watching Suits – a show they started because Jaemin thought it sounded interesting and also because he found the leading men hot. “Hey, Jaemin-ah?” Jaemin makes a noise of acknowledgement, and although his eyes don’t leave the screen, it’s clear that he’s listening. Jeno clears his throat. “I want you to know that I’m not judging you or anything. I’m happy for you, obviously! But I just, I don’t know. I thought I should check in with you and make sure you’re all good.”

Jaemin turns and gives him a look that makes him feel like he was just speaking in tongues – which is fair, because his thoughts did come out sounding borderline incomprehensible. “Jeno-yah,” Jaemin says, adopting the fondly exasperated tone he usually reserves for things like explaining how something basic in the kitchen works. “What the hell are you on about?”

“Sorry, that wasn’t really how I meant to say it.” Jeno laughs awkwardly, feeling more self-conscious by the second. Still, he forces himself to hold Jaemin’s gaze as he tries again. “It’s just, you’ve been coming home with a lot of guys recently. And of course there’s nothing wrong with that! But it just seems like a big change for you, so. I guess I’ve been a little worried that you might be going through something.”

Something soft and affectionate flashes in Jaemin’s eyes before his expression shifts into a fully amused one. “Of course you have, you big sap,” he says with a laugh. “You’re very sweet, but I promise I’m fine. It’s just a good way for me to let off some steam, de-stress and all that, you know? And I get to have a little fun in the process.”

Truthfully, Jeno doesn’t know – he’s always thought their daily trips to the gym were supposed to serve those exact purposes. He’s dimly aware that it’s an odd thing to fixate on, but he brings it up anyway. “Isn’t that the point of our workout sessions?”

That same familiar mix of endearment and exasperation reappears on Jaemin’s face. “Sure, those help too. It’s a different kind of release, obviously, but yeah. And also, I mean, I mostly go to the gym to maintain my muscle mass these days.” Jeno definitely believes that – most of the time when they’re working out together, it’s impossible to keep his eyes from drifting to Jaemin’s arms and pecs, which are even bigger, if a little softer, than his own. “It’s actually kind of surprising how many guys like it when they find out that someone with my build wants to be pinned down and tossed around a bit.”

Jeno feels like his brain has stopped functioning for a moment. It’s almost like an out-of-body experience as he hears himself say, “What, like, they want to be rough with you? And – and you let them do it?”

“I encourage them to do it,” Jaemin corrects him. There’s an unreadable look in his eyes as he says it, but his tone is casual, like it’s no big deal, like the concept of men wanting to manhandle him – of him wanting to be manhandled by men – is completely normal. Which, apparently, it is.

“Oh.” Jeno still doesn’t feel fully present as he continues speaking on autopilot. “All of them want that? I don’t think I would ever want to, you know, be rough with a woman.” Vaguely, he registers that onscreen, Harvey is dragging Mike off somewhere by the elbow, manhandling him in a way that’s almost certainly inappropriate for a professional setting. He and Jaemin spend half their time watching the show joking about how Mike and Harvey have one of the worst cases of unresolved sexual tension in media history, but now the scene just makes him wonder how intense Jaemin’s partners get – how intense Jaemin lets them get – when they’re rough with him.

Jaemin, on the other hand, isn’t paying attention to the show at all anymore. He still has that unreadable expression on his face as he says, “Well, that’s why most of them approach me in the first place, so yeah. Something about the novelty of a buff guy also being submissive, I guess. But why do you think you wouldn’t want to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Jeno says, a little restless now. “It would just feel off, if it were a woman, I think. Not that a woman wouldn’t be able to take it, or anything, but I would just – be anxious about doing something wrong. It would feel too out of my control.”

His mind wanders, then, and for a moment, he lets himself think about what it would be like to be truly rough with Jaemin. He never really is, he realizes, never messes with Jaemin physically the way he does with their other friends, because Jaemin might be slightly bigger than him, but Jeno still sees him as delicate, somehow, and he’s always been extremely protective of him. But, he reasons, he’s also always had a bit of a possessive streak when it comes to their friendship, and sometimes he’s caught himself having a slightly too-firm grip on Jaemin’s waist or thigh. It shouldn’t be too difficult to go a little further than that, hypothetically speaking.

In fact, it would probably be easy to toss Jaemin around and pin him down, he thinks, because Jaemin might surpass Jeno in size, but he’s never quite managed to do the same in raw strength. He could try to put up a fight, but Jeno is pretty sure he wouldn’t bother in the first place, and either way, Jeno has no doubt that he would be able to get Jaemin to submit eventually. And he could never feel out of control or anxious with Jaemin, because the two of them naturally keep each other in check, always have. They both know that Jeno would never let himself actually hurt Jaemin, that Jaemin would never let it get that far anyway. At most, Jeno can see himself maybe leaving a few bite marks on Jaemin’s collar bones – it’s what he deserves, honestly, given how adamant he is that Jeno is a puppy in human form – and some finger-shaped bruises on Jaemin’s hips, just to stake his claim. Jaemin would probably be okay with that much, and might even like it, since he apparently enjoys being roughed up.

Jeno doesn’t realize how lost in his thoughts he’s become until Jaemin moves suddenly, snapping him back into reality. It takes a few blinks for him to reacclimate to his surroundings, but once he can focus again, he’s fairly confused and slightly annoyed to find that Jaemin has placed his feet on the coffee table and is watching Jeno with a somewhat cocky expression on his face, like he knows exactly what he’s doing and is daring Jeno to say something about it. And he certainly does know what he’s doing, because this is a habit Jeno has been very clear and vocal about hating since the day they moved in together.

“Hey,” Jeno says, and he almost doesn’t recognize the firmness in his own voice. It feels appropriate, though, so he maintains it. “Take your feet off the table, please.”

There’s a challenge in Jaemin’s eyes. “What if I don’t want to?”

Jeno is at a bit of a loss as to why Jaemin is suddenly acting up, but he does do it without any reason or warning, sometimes – and if there’s one thing Jeno is good at, it’s managing the situation whenever this happens. “Nice try, but this isn’t a negotiation,” he says, shaking his head. “Come on, our food is still on there.”

“But Jeno,” Jaemin says, drawing his words out into a whine. “It’s comfortable.”

Unfortunately for him, his pout, cute as it is, can’t get him out of this one. “Jaemin,” Jeno says, no leeway in his tone this time. “Feet down, now.” Jaemin exhales slowly, a flash of something indiscernible crossing his face, and then, without another word of protest, he lifts his feet off the table and sets them on the floor. A knot of tension that Jeno was previously unaware of eases immediately, and he suddenly feels so relaxed that he’s only faintly aware of his next words. “Good boy.”

Jaemin’s eyes sparkle, though what he’s so happy about, Jeno can’t say. “Can I keep my feet on your lap instead, then? Since I was good?”

Jeno is unable to find fault in that logic – even though it took three requests before Jaemin finally obeyed, he did still manage to earn Jeno’s praise. “Of course,” he says.

Immediately, Jaemin scoots over to him on the couch, and it’s really more like he’s in Jeno’s lap instead of just his feet, but Jeno isn’t about to complain about that. He just hooks an arm around Jaemin’s waist and keeps it there, not necessarily pulling Jaemin towards him, but not letting him draw away, either. Fortunately for him, Jaemin is a cuddler, so he presses closer of his own accord. “You good?” he asks, sounding more than a little amused as Jeno nuzzles into him reflexively.

“Yeah,” Jeno says, sighing contentedly. Now that Jaemin is right where he wants him, he can finally return his attention to Mike and Harvey’s sexually-charged banter onscreen. “I’m good.” And though he doesn’t say it aloud, his mind makes a little addendum that he doesn’t think too hard about, but that feels undoubtedly true. Because you were good. Just for me.

~~~

Jeno isn’t sure if he’s just imagining it, but it seems like Jaemin cuts down on the number of guys he bring home after their conversation. He doesn’t completely stop – not that Jeno would ever ask that of him, because that would be unfair – but Jeno is fairly confident that there’s been a perceptible decrease in awkward morning-after encounters since that day.

Jaemin has also started behaving somewhat strangely, in little ways that are inconsequential enough that they could be entirely innocent, but knowing him, are almost definitely not – so of course, Jeno takes notice right away.

First, there’s the clinginess. Jaemin has always been physically affectionate, and Jeno has always indulged him, but he’s definitely extra handsy these days. He’s always hugging Jeno’s arm whenever they walk anywhere together, always snuggling so close to Jeno during their movie nights that he might as well be making a home for himself in Jeno’s lap, always standing in Jeno’s way when they’re both in the kitchen or the bathroom and refusing to move when asked so that Jeno has to physically maneuver him aside instead. Jeno isn’t upset by this development, exactly, because loath as he is to admit it, he likes physical touch as much as Jaemin does – but the giddy jolt of electricity that tingles through his limbs whenever he gets another opportunity to manhandle Jaemin is new and difficult to explain.

Then there’s Jaemin’s sudden abandonment of all his inhibitions. He’s never lacked confidence to begin with, but there’s a new brazen quality to the way he acts around Jeno. He saunters about the apartment in crop tops and skimpy shorts instead of the oversized shirts and track pants he used to opt for, and he seems to spend more time ogling and complimenting Jeno than working out himself when they’re at the gym. And it’s no secret that Jaemin loves to rile Jeno up just to see long it takes for Jeno to stop indulging him, but he appears to be intentionally toeing the line these days. He does things he knows will successfully provoke Jeno much more often, just enough for Jeno to get a little frustrated, but then he relents before it gets to a point where it makes sense for Jeno to snap completely.

On one such occasion, Jeno is feeling oddly restless after days of not getting a chance to properly reprimand Jaemin even once – which, he acknowledges, is probably not a normal thing to miss doing, but it’s his current reality nonetheless. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, doing homework, and Jaemin has decided to turn the volume of his headphones up high enough for Jeno to be able to hear his music. Jaemin knows, of course, that Jeno likes absolute silence while he’s working, but this is a minor enough issue that usually, Jeno wouldn’t even bother saying anything out loud. Any other day, he’d just place a hand on Jaemin’s thigh to get his attention and signal for him to turn the volume down, and Jaemin might put up a little resistance, but ultimately, it wouldn’t be a situation that escalates.

This time, though, there’s some unknown, unfathomably strong tension pent up inside Jeno that needs release. So instead of going for a nonverbal approach, he speaks aloud. “Nana, your music,” he says. And Jaemin’s music is loud, obviously, but he still has perfectly good peripheral vision and can definitely tell that Jeno has stopped working and started looking at him. Regardless, he gives no sign that he’s paying any attention to what’s going on a few feet to his left.

Jeno takes a deep breath, attempting to calm himself. “Jaemin-ah,” he tries again, his voice a little louder, a little sharper this time. “Your volume.” He inches closer too, and even if Jaemin had somehow remained oblivious before, there’s no way he still is.

“Turn down your volume, please, Jaemin,” he repeats with significantly less patience and more resolve than before.

Jaemin finally looks up. The slow, deliberate way he removes one earbud only confirms Jeno’s suspicions that he’s been dragging this out on purpose, but at least Jeno is finally getting a response. “What are you going to do if I don’t?” he asks, sounding entirely unbothered. He flashes Jeno an almost patronizing smile. “Spank me?”

Jeno’s brain short-circuits for a moment. It’s such a bold, shameless thing to say, an option that Jeno hadn’t known until this moment was on the table. But if it is, if they’re operating in a world where it is a possibility, then – “Maybe I should,” he says tightly. “Maybe then you’d actually behave yourself.”

For one miniscule second, Jaemin’s eyes darken, but then he’s back to being as brash and smug as before. “Tempting,” he says airily, “but maybe next time.”

That proves to be Jeno’s breaking point. He feels a buzzing beneath his skin, like he’s seconds away from losing himself to something he doesn’t understand. He reaches out, grips Jaemin’s wrist and squeezes, not so hard that he’ll leave a mark, but firmly enough that Jaemin has no chance of freeing himself. “Jaemin,” he snaps, acutely aware of Jaemin’s heartbeat quickening under his fingers. His mind flashes, just for a moment, to the idea of restraining Jaemin by his throat instead and feeling the fluttering pulse beneath his thumb. He brushes it aside in favor of looking Jaemin in the eye and speaking again, intense and unyielding. “I’m not going to ask again. Turn down your volume, now.”

And this time, it works. Jaemin blinks a few times, and then he’s using the hand that’s still captured in Jeno’s hold to tap the volume button until the room is blessedly quiet again. Truly quiet, because as Jeno instinctively lets go of Jaemin’s wrist and pats his thigh instead with a nod of approval, he registers that the buzzing he was experiencing has also vanished, that whatever was coiled up inside him has unknotted itself.

In the silence that follows, Jeno takes a moment to reflect on Jaemin throwing out the possibility of getting spanked. He must have been joking about Jeno doing it, surely, but he was also quite nonchalant about the concept in general, which makes Jeno wonder how many guys have spanked him before. How many guys have had Jaemin bent over their laps with his pants around his knees and his ass pink with their handprints? It’s completely unfair, Jeno thinks, suddenly even more furious than he was about Jaemin’s previous misbehavior. He’s positive that none of them have ever had Jaemin talk their ear off while they’re doing homework solely because he wanted to get scolded for it, and none of them know exactly the right point in Jaemin’s antics to stop indulging him and put their foot down instead. Jeno is practically a professional at dealing with Jaemin constantly being a brat, and yet some random men have gotten to experience disciplining him more intensely than Jeno ever has?

When he eventually calms himself down, trying to understand why he’s even so worked up in the first place, he finds that Jaemin is still watching him in silence with an unreadable expression on his face. They’re sitting close enough now that their legs are pressed against each other, but for once, Jaemin makes no attempt to bridge the gap further. Instead, his mouth curls into a pleased little smile before he turns back to his laptop as if nothing happened. Jeno is left trying to figure out why his pants are suddenly a little too tight.

Another morning, Jeno walks into the kitchen to find Jaemin looking almost the same as he always does, dressed in a crop top and shorts. But something is different this time, because his shorts are riding so low on his hips that there’s a hint of pink lace peeking out over the waistband, and there’s also something made of the same fabric that just about becomes visible under the hem of his shirt whenever he reaches up to retrieve items from the cupboards.

“What – what’s that?” Jeno asks, his throat suddenly and inexplicably bone dry.

Jaemin doesn’t even blink before responding, which tells Jeno he already knows exactly what this is about. “What’s what?”

“You know,” Jeno says, because it’s true. Still, he gestures vaguely and wills his voice to remain steady as he clarifies anyway. “Under your clothes.”

Jaemin’s eyes flicker down before he smiles coyly. “Oh, these little things?” he says, his tone probably more provocative than it needs to be. “I bought a new set yesterday and thought I would try it on.” He does a little twirl, raising his arms above his head so Jeno can catch another glimpse of the pink bow nestled between his pecs. “What do you think, do I look pretty?”

Jeno’s face heats up against his will. He wracks his brain for something more coherent than “Uh huh” or “Wow” or “Uhhhh” to respond with. “You always look pretty,” is what his mind settles on, which isn’t much better, but at least Jaemin’s cheeky smile softens into something sweeter and more genuine at the compliment. “You know you always do, no matter how you dress. I just didn’t realize that you, um, like to wear this kind of thing.”

“Well, I won’t argue with you about how I look in it,” Jaemin says, laughing a bit before his expression becomes a little more uncertain. “I guess I’ve kind of held off on revealing all of this because I wasn’t sure how you’d react. But yeah, I wear lingerie sometimes, and skirts and dresses and stuff too. I like how they make me feel.”

“Oh,” Jeno says, suddenly lightheaded at the thought of Jaemin in lingerie and a skirt. “That’s – that’s nice. That’s good. That you like it.”

Jaemin ducks his head, uncharacteristically shy as he’s caught in a rare moment of insecurity. “You mean it?”

Jeno smiles at him, sincere and earnest. “Of course, Nana. And I know you don’t need my permission or whatever, but if you were holding back on wearing it at home because of me, you don’t need to anymore, okay?” Jaemin’s brilliant responding smile makes Jeno feel like the whole conversation has been worth it.

Even with that resolved, he can’t stop thinking about it all day, distracted at random times by the image of Jaemin dolled up in a crop top and a skirt with his lacy panties and bralette hidden underneath. It’s still on his mind when they settle in together for movie night that evening. Jaemin sits on the couch the way he always does, leaning against the armrest with his legs slung haphazardly over Jeno’s – it would probably be more comfortable for his back if he sat facing the TV like Jeno does, but this is one habit Jeno has never stopped indulging because he likes having Jaemin close enough to hold.

It’s difficult to enjoy their proximity today, though, because Jaemin has seemingly already taken Jeno’s earlier words to heart. He’s wearing a sheer nightgown with skinny straps and a skirt that barely falls to his mid-thigh, and it’s already ridden up a few times to reveal satin panties underneath. Jeno truly has no idea what’s going on in whatever movie they’re watching, because he’s too busy wondering how many of Jaemin’s partners have gotten to see him like this. How many of them have placed their hands on his thighs and rucked up his skirt to expose his panties? How many of them have caressed his nipples through the lace of his bralette? And what about the actual clothes? How many of them have been allowed to decorate his skirts with cum, to rip a hole in his panties out of desperation and fuck him just like that?

The line of questioning leaves an uncomfortable feeling in Jeno’s stomach – he’s infuriated by the idea of faceless men being allowed to bring Jaemin that kind of pleasure when Jaemin obviously deserves someone who knows him well enough to recognize how fortunate they are to even be allowed to see him in such a vulnerable state. At the same time, he finds himself moving slightly, trying to quell the feeble but definitely perceptible stirring of his cock. Jaemin seems to notice him shifting in place, because he draws closer, perching himself on top of Jeno’s thigh instead of next to it. “You okay?” he asks. “I didn’t think the movie was that boring, but we can watch something else if you want.”

Jeno shakes his head, trying to clear his head and smile reassuringly at the same time. “I’m fine.”

Jaemin seems unconvinced. He searches Jeno’s face for a moment before he presses again. “You’re a terrible liar, you know. Come on, just tell me.” He pouts, wriggling in Jeno’s lap a little – something that is absolutely not helpful, considering Jeno’s current predicament – as his voice rises to a whine. “Please?” Instinctively, Jeno places his hand on Jaemin’s thigh and grips it – not very hard, just firmly enough to convey that he needs to tone it down. And Jaemin does, immediately. He stops squirming and loses the pleading tone, and his request is more sincere this time. “Please tell me what’s wrong?”

It shouldn’t have worked, but for whatever reason, Jeno is overcome with the sudden need to indulge Jaemin, to reward him for listening. “Well, I was just wondering,” he says, clearing his throat, “do you let your – your partners fuck you while you’re dressed up?”

If Jaemin is at all put off by how intrusive that is, he does a good job of hiding it. He does raise an eyebrow at Jeno for a moment, but then he answers without hesitation. “Sure, some of them think it’s hot to keep me in my clothes.”

“No, like –” Jeno exhales, briefly considering abandoning this line of questioning before deciding to just commit to it – “when you’re dressed up like this. When you’re in your skirts or your panties.”

An oddly delighted gleam appears in Jaemin’s eyes. “No,” he says easily, and Jeno feels something loosen inside him. “I don’t let any of them touch me at all when I’m dressed up, actually. My feminine clothes are for me, not for them.”

“Oh,” Jeno says. He wishes he could string together something a little more eloquent, but all he can manage is, “Well. Well, good.”

Jaemin smirks at him. “Good?”

“Yeah,” Jeno says, looking down at where his hand is still on Jaemin’s thigh. He vaguely imagines tightening his hold on it, hard enough to leave bruises, and wonders if Jaemin would enjoy being marked like that by him. “I’m sure they’re all great guys and all, but they definitely don’t deserve the privilege of touching you when you’re dolled up. And they’re also definitely not good enough for you in general, either.”

“Okay,” Jaemin says, very obviously amused. “Let’s say you’re right. Who would be good enough for me, then?”

Jeno is well-versed in being teased by Jaemin, so he’s entirely undeterred by it now. “Someone who knows you really well, I would say,” he says, stroking Jaemin’s thigh with his thumb absentmindedly. “Someone who knows how to handle you when you’re being a brat and acting up on purpose because you want to be disciplined, but who also knows how to praise and reward you properly when you finally do behave yourself. Because those are equally important parts of your personality. Only someone who understands that really deserves you.” There’s something stirring in his mind now, something like recognition that there’s probably only one person in existence who falls into this just-made-up category.

He sets it aside for now, though, because Jaemin is beaming at him, looking pleased beyond words at that description. “They are equally important.” He places his hand on top of Jeno’s, flips it over, and laces their fingers together before adding, “But I don’t know. You know what men are like...a guy who can strike that balance would have to be something special. There probably aren’t too many men like that in the world.”

Despite being the one to bring it up, Jeno finds himself selfishly hoping Jaemin is right, that he isn’t able to find a guy fitting that description any time soon. Unless, of course – well. He can’t say any of that out loud without either feeling like a horrible friend or feeling like a walking, talking “straight guy who’s just realized he might actually have gay feelings for his best friend” cliche, so he settles for squeezing Jaemin’s hand instead. “I’m sure he’s out there somewhere.”

With a quiet laugh and a shake of his head, Jaemin brings their joined hands to his mouth so he can kiss the back of Jeno’s before he settles more comfortably on Jeno’s lap. He automatically goes pliant and melts into the embrace when Jeno wraps his free arm around Jaemin’s waist. “Yeah,” he says softly – Jeno can see the quiet contentment in his smile as he rests his cheek against Jeno’s shoulder. “I know he is.”

~~~

Everything changes for good on the night of June third. Jeno and Jaemin have a tradition of celebrating the anniversary of the day they met and became friends, and this year, they decide to go out to a club.

“Hey,” Jeno says, stopping in front of the entrance. “Let’s, uh, let’s not bring anyone home tonight, okay?” Jaemin raises an amused eyebrow – a reasonable reaction, since he hasn’t brought anyone home in almost a month and Jeno hasn’t brought anyone home ever – but he agrees, which is a relief. Jeno has already spent weeks trying to wrap his head around the fact that maybe, yeah, he’s actually jealous of every single guy who’s ever gotten to have sex with his best friend – the idea of Jaemin spending tonight, of all nights, with someone who isn’t him is actually nauseating to contemplate.

The night starts out fun. Neither of them want to get drunk, so they pace themselves, drinking just enough to feel good and mostly staying out on the dance floor together. Jeno lets himself enjoy dancing with Jaemin like he never has before, keeping a firm grip on Jaemin’s waist and not leaning away, no matter how dangerously close Jaemin gets to him. He feels kind of smug, if he’s being honest, because Jaemin is unbelievably sexy in his form-fitting sleeveless tank top and tight leather skirt, and he’s definitely getting looks from both men and women – but his eyes haven’t strayed from Jeno all night.

“I’ll go grab us some more drinks,” Jaemin says eventually. “Don’t have too much fun without me!” As embarrassing as it is, Jeno kind of wants to whine in complaint when Jaemin removes his arms from around Jeno’s shoulders, though the fleeting kiss he presses to Jeno’s cheek before leaving makes up for it a bit.

He hovers by the edge of the dance floor as he waits for Jaemin’s return, his eyes flickering over to the bar every so often just so he can get a sense of how much longer Jaemin will be gone. A while, he assumes when he catches Jaemin flashing his charming smile at several unsuspecting men in the line – an uncomfortable, prickly sensation pools in his gut at the sight.

He’s in the middle of glumly observing Jaemin flirt with one of the men while the bartender is preoccupied with another patron, unsuccessfully pretending that he isn’t burning with jealousy, when he’s unceremoniously interrupted by a girl he definitely doesn’t know throwing herself into his arms. “Jen! What took you so long, I missed you.”

“Um,” he says awkwardly, and the girl draws away immediately, looking startled. He offers her an embarrassed but friendly smile. “Sorry to disappoint, but I think you have the wrong person.”

“Oh, no, I’m sorry for jumping on you like that,” the girl says, her cheeks glowing pink. “It’s just, you kind of look like my best friend. I mean, you’re not quite as attractive as her, but it’s close.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow at that – the girl doesn’t seem to have noticed how breathless she’s suddenly become just talking about her supposed best friend, but even more striking than that is the fact that when Jeno really takes in her features, all he can think is that she’s the spitting image of Jaemin. “Huh. You actually kind of look like my best friend, too.”

The girl smiles cheekily, and it’s so uncannily reminiscent of Jaemin’s usual mischievous smile that Jeno feels a little dizzy. “So your best friend is a smoking hot pretty girl?”

“Try a smoking hot pretty boy,” he says with a somewhat wistful laugh. And it’s probably too much information to share with a stranger, but he can’t stop himself from adding, “Going anywhere with him is a hassle, honestly. He’s too alluring for his own good.”

“You sure he’s just your best friend?” the girl asks, and Jeno has to marvel just a bit at her lack of self-awareness – though, he acknowledges, it’s not like he’s been much better until very recently. “It sounds like there’s something else there.”

Jeno smiles wryly – if only the girl knew how much he wishes she were right. “We’re definitely just friends. I’ve spent my whole life thinking I’m straight, so. Yeah.” He nods at the girl, deciding on the spot that he’s going to help her with some self-reflection. “And what about you and your best friend, then? Do you always tell people they can’t compare to how good-looking she is in your eyes?”

She blushes even harder than before. “That’s different,” she says defensively. “She’s just objectively beautiful. Plus, I’m straight too.”

It sounds so similar to his own struggles that Jeno has to hold back a laugh. “I said I’ve spent my whole life thinking I’m straight,” he clarifies, before silently conceding that he’s spent more than his fair share of time trying to justify his feelings in ways that made no sense. He softens his approach and tries to elaborate further. “But recently it’s come to my attention that maybe I’m not. It turns out that it’s not actually platonic behavior to hate every guy my best friend has ever brought home because they ‘aren’t good enough’ for him.”

The girl shifts restlessly, looking uncomfortable. It’s all too clear that she can relate. “What? Why not?”

Jeno shakes his head, half-embarrassed and half-amused. “It’s just jealousy, plain and simple,” he says, admitting it out loud for the first time. “I want to be those guys. I don’t want him getting fucked by anyone but me.”

There are a few moments of silence, where the girl looks absolutely dumbstruck. Jeno can’t help feeling slightly proud that he’s helped her with this self-discovery. “You should tell him, then,” she finally says, sounding a little dazed. “Tell him you want him.”

Jeno shrugs, wishing it were that easy. “I want to. But part of me wonders whether I’ll be able to satisfy him well enough to not become just another one-night stand.” He can’t bring himself to even think about it, really – he has no idea what he would do if it turned out he truly can’t give Jaemin everything he needs when that’s been his number one priority since the day they met. “Because no one he’s brought home before could give him what he actually wanted well enough for him to invite them over again.”

“Maybe none of them could give him that because they weren’t you,” the girl says. There’s still a faraway look in her eyes, like she isn’t fully present anymore.

“You should tell your girl how you feel too,” Jeno says with a smile. “Maybe the same thing is true for the two of you.” This girl really is very sweet, he thinks. And it probably helps that she looks so much like Jaemin that it’s almost uncanny, but he genuinely wishes her nothing but the best.

Unexpectedly, he finds himself wrapped up in a very brief but sincere hug. “Good luck,” the girl whispers, and then she’s gone.

“Good luck to you too,” he says to the empty air, but he has a feeling she isn’t really going to need it.

A few moments later, Jaemin materializes at his side again, holding two drinks. He has an odd look on his face as he hands Jeno’s glass over. “Sorry,” he says, not sounding particularly apologetic. “I forgot to ask for less ice for you.”

Jeno furrows his eyebrows, wondering why Jaemin suddenly seems to be in the mood to provoke him. He wants to ask, but he can tell Jaemin isn’t going to be very receptive to questions right now, so he tries a different approach. “It’s okay. You know, I just had the weirdest conversation with this girl.”

“I saw,” Jaemin says a little too casually. “She was pretty.”

It’s slightly surprising that he noticed Jeno talking to the girl when he was ostensibly focused on getting their drinks and flirting with random men, but Jeno is more preoccupied with trying not to laugh – is Jaemin saying that because he only vaguely saw what she looked like, or because he saw her very clearly and realized that she looked exactly like him? “Sure,” he says. “What we talked about was actually the interesting part, though.”

“Really,” Jaemin says, and he still sounds just a bit too nonchalant for it to be genuine. Jeno can’t for the life of him understand why Jaemin is acting like this. “Maybe you should go find her again. Ask her for her number, or something. Assuming you haven’t already.”

“Whoa,” Jeno says, staring at him incredulously. “Where is all this coming from?”

Jaemin crosses his arms. “It’s not coming from anywhere. I just thought we agreed on no hookups tonight.”

Jeno scans Jaemin’s face, trying to determine whether a high level of intoxication might explain his strange behavior – it’s unusual for him to be bratty to this extent in public, but he seems agitated enough to not care about causing a scene. From what Jeno can see, though, he’s relatively sober. “We did,” Jeno says placatingly. “I’m the one who came up with the agreement, remember?”

“Yeah, well, kind of seems like that suddenly didn’t mean shit anymore the second a hot girl approached you,” Jaemin says with a shrug.

His attitude is beginning to get slightly grating now, especially considering the inherent hypocrisy in his words. Jeno narrows his eyes at him pointedly. “Kind of seems like you think it’s fine for you to flirt with people but it’s suddenly not okay when I do it.”

An obnoxious smile stretches across Jaemin’s face, the kind that only appears when he’s really trying to get on Jeno’s nerves. “So you admit you were flirting. That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Jeno exhales slowly, counting backwards in his head. Jaemin is pushing and pushing for something, but Jeno isn’t going to give in, not yet. He can’t give Jaemin the satisfaction of snapping too early. “I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you,” he says, “but you need to take it down, like, several notches.” He eyes Jaemin a little patronizingly. “You think you can manage that until we get home? Behaving yourself, for once?”

The smile drops from Jaemin’s face in a heartbeat. “Fuck you. I’m behaving just fine.”

“Yeah?” Jeno asks, unable to keep himself from scoffing derisively. His glass is dripping with condensation, but he barely even registers how cold his hand is, because the rest of his body feels like it’s aflame. “You think acting petty and bitchy for literally no reason is behaving?”

“Of course you think it’s for no reason,” Jaemin says, rolling his eyes.

“Whenever you’d like to let me know why I should think otherwise, I’m all ears,” Jeno retorts. He’s still pretty sure Jaemin is playing this up on purpose, but it’s hitting a little too close to home now, and he can’t help the hint of bitterness that slips into his words as he adds, “Because from where I’m standing, it seems like I just watched you flirt with like, ten different men, and now you’re the one throwing a temper tantrum because I talked to a random girl for a minute.”

Jaemin’s eyes flash, and he takes a step closer to Jeno, jabbing a finger into his chest. “And so what if I am? Like you get to have any say in it, anyway. Who are you to tell me how to behave?”

Jeno finally sees red. With two sentences, Jaemin has succeeded in pushing Jeno over the edge, because he knows full well that keeping him in line has always been Jeno’s role, Jeno’s privilege, something he needs as much as Jaemin does. He snatches Jaemin’s drink away and sets both their glasses aside before dragging Jaemin into a relatively secluded corner and pinning him against the wall with his forearm. “You need to back off and calm the fuck down.”

“Or what?” Jaemin bites back. He looks almost feral, his pupils blown as he struggles in vain against Jeno’s hold. “You aren’t actually going to do anything. You act like you know what’s best, but you’re all talk. You won’t even –”

“Jaemin,” Jeno growls, cutting him off and pressing him even more roughly against the wall. “I’m not fucking kidding. Behave yourself. Now.”

Jaemin’s eyes are ablaze with rage and frustration and such an unbridled need to be tamed that Jeno feels like he’s choking on it. “Then do your fucking job and make me.”

And just like that, it all clicks, instantaneously and with perfect clarity, in Jeno’s head. “You’re such a fucking brat,” he murmurs. Then he leans in and kisses Jaemin on the mouth.

Jaemin lets out such a needy moan the second Jeno’s lips meet his that Jeno is half-hard almost immediately. “Fuck – fucking finally,” he pants between kisses. “You’re so stu–”

“I don’t think you want to finish that thought,” Jeno warns, tugging at Jaemin’s bottom lip with his teeth as he grips Jaemin’s hair with one hand and uses the other to deliver a single strike of warning on his ass over his skirt. He doesn’t know where this sudden confidence has sprung from – all he knows is that he feels more clear-headed, self-assured, and in control than he ever has before. “Not unless you want the first time I spank you to be in front of all these people.”

The obscene sound Jaemin makes as Jeno says it, paired with how hard his cock is where it’s pressing against Jeno’s thigh, reveals that he’s apparently not quite averse to the idea – but Jeno is pretty sure he’s not ready for that level of public display just yet. He is, however, fully up for making Jaemin come right here and now.

“Look at you,” Jeno says, angling Jaemin’s head so he has easy access to mouth along his neck and suck a mark into his collarbone. To his satisfaction, he can feel Jaemin rutting against him, desperately seeking friction. “Should’ve known you’re the type who’s always gagging for it.”

“Just –” Jaemin breaks off with a gasp, his arms flying around Jeno’s shoulders as Jeno presses his thigh harder between Jaemin’s legs – “Just let me – ah!”

“Let you?” Jeno asks, leaving another bite mark on Jaemin’s shoulder. “I don’t think you’ve earned the privilege of me letting you do anything.” He tugs Jaemin in for another feverish, messy kiss. “You’re going to do what I want right now.” He rolls his hips into Jaemin, smirking when Jaemin moans at the sensation of Jeno’s cock against his. “And if you’re good, maybe I’ll reconsider.”

Jaemin blinks, looking slightly dazed. “Okay.”

Jeno tugs sharply at Jaemin’s hair so they’re looking each other in the eyes. “Okay, what?”

If it’s possible, Jaemin’s pupils dilate even more. “Okay, o-oppa,” he says breathlessly. “I’ll be good.”

Until this exact moment, Jeno had no idea he would be into being called that – from the way his cock leaps at the honorific, he certainly knows now. “That’s right,” he says, easing Jaemin’s legs apart a little with his hand so he can slot his thigh more securely between them. “You’ll be so good for me, won’t you? You’ll get yourself off just like this, just from humping my thigh.”

“Yes,” Jaemin whispers, his movements growing more frantic. “I will, I will.”

Jeno kisses him, more tenderly than he has up to this point. “Such a good boy,” he says, stroking Jaemin’s cheek. Then he cocks his head, considering. “Such a good...girl?” Jaemin whimpers, his hips stuttering – though, Jeno notes with some pride, he doesn’t stop altogether. “My good girl,” he says, bolstered by Jaemin’s reaction. “You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you? Make a mess in your pretty panties just for me?”

Jaemin nods, leaning in for another kiss – Jeno is happy to oblige. “Gonna, gonna come for oppa,” he promises. “You can – ngh – can even check after.”

Jeno cock throbs at the idea of kneeling here on the dirty club floor and checking to see if Jaemin’s panties are wet with his own cum, of drawing the ruined fabric into his mouth and sucking the taste of Jaemin from it. “Then come,” he groans. “Come for me, princess.”

And whether it’s the command that does it, or the endearment, or something else altogether, Jeno can’t tell. But the important thing is that Jaemin obeys, his hips twitching erratically as he releases with a cry. “J-Jeno!”

He’s still trembling through the aftershocks as Jeno kisses him deeply, gently brushing the tears from his cheeks. “So good,” Jeno coos. “So, so good for me, my Jaeminnie.” He runs a hand down Jaemin’s side, faltering when he reaches the hem of Jaemin’s skirt. Jaemin did just say he could check, but removed from the heat of the moment, Jeno can only think about what Jaemin said about his feminine clothes being for himself. “Can I – can I touch your panties?”

Jaemin peers at him through wide, watery eyes, looking genuinely confused that Jeno would even ask. “Of course. You’re always allowed to touch.” Jeno’s heart swells, because he can hear the implied message even though Jaemin doesn’t say it aloud. You’re the only one who is.

Carefully, Jeno slips his hand under Jaemin’s skirt, groaning quietly when his fingers come in contact with damp satin. Jaemin whines softly as Jeno gently caresses his cock, but doesn’t move. Jeno has to kiss him for it – he must still be oversensitive, yet he’s still letting Jeno coax him back into hardness. “Think you can handle another one?” he asks, acutely aware of his own aching cock. “Or should I wait until we get back home?”

“No!” Jaemin says, still in the middle of trying to catch his breath. “I can, I can do it.” It’s a complete reversal of how he was behaving not ten minutes earlier, and Jeno has to admire how easily he can switch between being the insufferable brat who resists compliance at every turn and the soft, willing submissive who’s so eager to obey.

“And you’re okay with our first time being in the corner of this dinky club?” Jeno asks. “Where anyone can see us?”

If the way his cock leaps under Jeno’s fingers is any indication, Jaemin is way past being just “okay” with it. “Please, Jeno-yah,” he begs. “Let them see. Just fuck me.”

There are so many things Jeno wants. In the future, he thinks, he’ll give Jaemin everything he can. He’ll spread Jaemin across his lap and spank him until he comes untouched. He’ll make Jaemin choke on his cock and come down his throat. He’ll edge Jaemin until he cries and begs for relief. He’ll make Jaemin come so many times that he passes out from exhaustion. He’ll fuck Jaemin in every position they can think of, tie him up and blindfold him and toss him around the way he likes. But they have plenty of time to do all that eventually.

For now, all he needs is to hold Jaemin up against the wall, push his panties aside to open him up with spit-slick fingers until he’s pleading for more, and undo his own fly so he can ease his cock inside Jaemin’s waiting hole. “I – I –” Jaemin gasps as Jeno pushes his cock in slowly. “Ngh, Jeno, I can’t – !”

“Oh, but I thought you wanted this,” Jeno says, pausing with his cock halfway inside. “Or maybe you don’t?” Teasingly, he starts pulling out again, but Jaemin keens and clenches around him.

“N-No, please, I want –” Jaemin hiccups.

Jeno smirks, hiking Jaemin’s legs higher around his hips before driving the rest of the way in. “Behave yourself,” he warns, punctuating his words with a thrust. ”I know what you want, greedy little vixen.”

Jaemin scrabbles at his back, letting out breathless “ah, ah, ah”s every time Jeno pushes back in. Jeno knows, rationally, that of course Jaemin would be good at taking it – he’s done this many, many times before. But the jealous, irrational part of his brain hates that anyone else has experienced Jaemin like this, and his thrusts get rougher the longer he thinks about it.

“Look at you, so desperate for it,” he says, his voice low. “You’d take anyone’s cock right now, wouldn’t you? Is that why you wanted to fuck here, so someone else can have their turn next? Maybe one of the guys you were chatting up at the bar earlier, yeah?”

Jaemin shakes his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. “No, no, Jeno, please – !”

But Jeno is on a roll now, and he’s sure that his fingers are going to leave bruises on Jaemin’s waist, something he can’t help feeling darkly smug about. “I’ll make sure you’ll never be satisfied with any other cock again,” he promises, driving his hips up steadily.

“Jeno,” Jaemin moans as Jeno keeps at it. “More. Give, give me your babies.”

Jeno’s vision whites out for a moment before he starts rutting in and out of Jaemin even more furiously. “Yeah, I’ll give you a baby,” he growls. “My baby.”

“Yours,” Jaemin agrees, nodding frantically. “Only yours.”

“Good,” Jeno says, leaning in to suck another mark into Jaemin’s collarbone. “No one is ever going to fuck you like this again. Could anyone else breed you like I can, Jaeminnie?”

“N-No!” Jaemin chokes out. “Only you can – only you can b-breed me like this, oppa.”

“That’s right,” Jeno says, panting. “From now on your greedy little hole belongs to me. You belong to me.”

“Yes,” Jaemin says, and he’s a vision with his glassy eyes and messy hair and flushed cheeks. He’s perfect, holding onto Jeno’s shoulders and letting Jeno thrust into him mercilessly like that’s the only thing he knows how to do. “‘M yours.”

That’s what ultimately sends Jeno over the edge – just the simple confirmation that Jaemin wants to be his. He spills inside Jaemin with a cry of his name, and Jaemin follows a few seconds after, shaking in Jeno’s hold as he comes for the second time tonight. They stay like that for a few moments, panting quietly with their foreheads resting against each other, Jeno still inside Jaemin.

“Hey,” Jeno says softly, leaning in to kiss Jaemin sweetly. “How are you feeling?”

“That – that was –” Jaemin says, his arms still wrapped around Jeno’s shoulders. “Fuck. Wow. I feel fucking amazing.”

Jeno thinks he’s allowed to be proud of that assessment of his newly-discovered sexual prowess and takes a moment to internally preen over it. Then the reality of where they are hits him and he decides that they probably shouldn’t linger here. He reluctantly pulls out, hissing at the loss of Jaemin’s tight, welcoming warmth around him – gratifyingly, Jaemin seems to be equally upset about it. He tucks himself back in his pants and wraps an arm around Jaemin to help him over to the restroom.

Once they’re inside, Jeno wordlessly begins cleaning Jaemin up with damp paper towels – it isn’t ideal, but it’ll at least allow them to get home in relative comfort. “Such a gentleman,” Jaemin says with a playful smile. “Making sure I’m all clean.” He grabs a paper towel of his own and signals for Jeno to unzip his pants. At Jeno’s raised eyebrow, he says, “Well, I’m not the only dirty one here, am I?” Jeno could point out that his pants aren’t really that dirty because all his cum went inside Jaemin, but he lets it slide. It’s nice, he thinks, and very endearing that Jaemin wants to take care of him too.

They head back to their apartment immediately afterwards, their fingers laced together as they walk. They’re about halfway home when Jeno finally breaks the comfortable silence.

“You’re seriously such a goddamn menace, you know,” he says affectionately. “Couldn’t you have just told me, like a normal person?” He’s pieced it all together, by now – Jaemin’s recent odd behavior, his increased clinginess and brazenness, him carefully, carefully planning out exactly when he misbehaved and how riled up he wanted Jeno to get every time he did. Even the events of tonight – Jaemin’s flirting with other guys, his complete overreaction to Jeno talking to a girl – it was all done on purpose. In hindsight, it’s obvious that all this time, he’s been trying, in his convoluted way, to ease Jeno into the knowledge that he’s already essentially been domming Jaemin for years, that what he’s really wanted all along is to finally formalize the whole thing in an actual sexual and romantic relationship.

Jaemin grins cheekily. “Well, where’s the fun in that? And you figured it out eventually, didn’t you?”

Jeno can only huff out a disbelieving laugh and shake his head before diving in to kiss him. “Yeah. Lucky for you that I did.”

“There was nothing lucky about it,” Jaemin says, and he looks completely sincere as he squeezes Jeno’s hand. “I told you, a guy who can strike the right balance to suit all my needs would have to be pretty special. And you are. I always knew we would get here eventually.”

“Well,” Jeno says, his cheeks heating up. He’s oddly touched by Jaemin’s faith in him. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

“Ridiculous man,” Jaemin says fondly. “You were always going to be worth the wait.”

“I still wish I realized sooner,” Jeno says with a wistful sigh. “I was so jealous of all the guys you brought home, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t even know I was jealous for the longest time. I was sitting there thinking it was normal to be mad that they might have gotten to spank you before I ever did.”

Jaemin giggles at that, and Jeno can’t even be mad about it – he laughs too, instead. “Is that why you zoned out on the couch that one time? When I asked if you were going to spank me?”

Jeno rubs the back of his neck, a little mortified, but there’s no reason to lie to Jaemin about this. “Yeah,” he admits. “The idea of it was infuriating to me. I thought it was so unfair.”

There’s still mirth in his eyes, but Jeno can tell Jaemin is being completely honest when he says, “It was never like that with any of them, you know. I was just trying to move on from my straight best friend, but it never felt right, since they obviously weren’t you. The most I could ever let them do was fuck me, in the end. No discipline, no gender play, nothing but kind of rough sex.” His cheeks turn pink as he looks down and adds, “I only wanted the rest of it with you.”

“Well,” Jeno says, his heart fluttering, “it’s a good thing I want it all with you too.”

Jaemin beams at him. “I love you,” he says.

Though he really should have seen it coming, Jeno can’t help blushing at the sudden confession. After everything they just did, it feels strange to be getting flustered over this, but here he is. “Wh-What?”

“I love you, Jeno,” Jaemin repeats with a smile. “As friends, of course, like always, but also not as friends. As someone who’s yours now.”

Jeno feels himself turning even redder, remembering the context in which Jaemin made that same declaration previously. “I love you too, Nana. A-And I’m yours too, of course. Always.”

Jaemin abandons Jeno’s hand in favor of latching onto his arm, and Jeno tries not to give in to the urge to hide his face in Jaemin’s neck. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about getting all macho-possessive, you know,” Jaemin says, amused. “I was kind of into it, in case you didn’t notice.”

“Yeah, well, it’s still embarrassing,” Jeno mumbles.

Jaemin stops short in the middle of the sidewalk, cupping Jeno’s face in his hands and peppering kisses everywhere he can reach. “Not to me,” he says. “I want you to be possessive over me forever. Because I’m definitely going to be when it comes to you.” He shrugs, looking very unapologetic. “I really was jealous of you talking to that girl, you know.”

Hearing that does actually help Jeno feel slightly better, and he smiles gratefully. “Well,” he says, “In that case, I’m setting a new rule. No other guys are coming into our house again, ever.”

Jaemin breaks into a smile too, leaning in to kiss Jeno sweetly. “That’ll be an easy rule to follow,” he says. “The only guy I’ll ever bring home again is you.”