Chapter Text
It’s like the unholy offspring of Death and Satan.
It had been an uneventful day at the Tokyo training camp. The week was halfway through, and Karasuno had played dozens of practice matches against the other teams. Tomorrow would surely be another full day of tough practices, diving drills, and hill sprints, but for now the boys were getting ready to turn in for the evening. Most of them were already settling into their futons, and Daichi had given the last-call warning for bathroom runs before lights-out.
It’s kill or be killed, and I’m not going to die here.
A pair of short, spiky-haired boys made their way down the dim hallway, chatting amicably. Hinata was trying to gather as many receiving tips from Nishinoya as he could before their next round of matches. A good meal and a hot shower had done a lot to lift their spirits, though neither was the type to get very discouraged in the first place. Tsukishima and Asahi trailed a few steps behind them, half-listening to their animated conversation.
If we framed it right, we could burn the place down and nobody would suspect it was arson.
“And whenever Lev spikes towards me, it’s just like, WHAM! And then if I actually receive it right, like bap, not like whap, the whap receives don’t go up right, if I hit it like bap then it goes TWICE as high as usual!” Hinata gestured broadly upwards, illustrating his point. Noya’s gaze followed, but then he caught sight of something past Hinata’s waving arms.
“Hey, what the hell is that?”
All four stopped just as they turned the last corner towards the bathroom. High above the bathroom door, just below where the wall met the ceiling, was an oblong dark smudge, about the width of a hand. But no, not a smudge. Something with a solid center and around it…fuzz? The hallway was dim, and Noya and Asahi took a couple of steps forwards, squinting to get a better look.
“Run.”
Hinata had frozen. All traces of good humor were gone, and his face turned slack, eyes staring blankly. It took the other three a second to realize that the softly-spoken command had come from him. Just as Noya was about to ask what was going on, Asahi inhaled sharply and seized the smaller boy’s shoulder with a deathlike grip. In that instant, Noya finally got a good look at their mystery smudge. It wasn’t a dust bunny caught in a cobweb. That wasn’t fuzz. Those were legs.
Suddenly they were sprinting, Hinata and Asahi towing a now-terrified Nishinoya and screeching in unison.
“HOUSE CENTIPEDE!”
-----
Ennoshita glanced up from his book. Did he just hear something? The rest of the team was settled in for the night, chatting softly in the few minutes before lights-out. A couple of them, exhausted from the day’s practice, were already asleep. Tanaka was snoring, but aside from that, the building had been pretty quiet. He turned towards Daichi and Suga, who were still bent over a whiteboard, outlining plays and hashing out strategies. They didn’t seem fazed at all. Were they concentrating too heavily to notice? Maybe he just imagined it in the first place. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him. Maybe Tanaka just snored strangely at the same time that he caught a word or two of a background conversation.
Or had he really heard someone in the building scream?
-----
“Where are we running?” Noya interjected after a couple of seconds, stumbling under Asahi’s grip.
“Back to bed, that’s where!” Hinata called back.
“But I still have to use the bathroom!”
“That bathroom is a lost cause, just hold it for the rest of your life!”
Suddenly, Asahi spoke up. “Guys, hold on. What if we wake up tomorrow and it’s gone?”
The three skidded to a halt as the implications hit them. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere and there would be hours for it to decide where best to strike. The thought of all of those feather-light but ever-so-slightly-prickly legs whispering into their breakfast, gliding into the folds of their blankets, tickling across their faces…
Hinata turned on his heel and dashed back in the direction they had come, the other two in hot pursuit. What if it had already moved? What if their thunderous footsteps and voices had already spooked it? What if it had skittered into some air vent, and was plotting some horrific revenge upon them for disturbing its peaceful evening? As they turned back around the corner, they were almost relieved to see the Death Smudge still in the same spot. Almost.
For some reason, however, Tsukishima was also in the same spot, staring calmly at the Minion of Evil. He didn’t even turn to look as his teammates barreled around the corner and stopped just short of crashing into him.
“Someone had to stay and make sure it didn’t move. Honestly, with all your running around I’m surprised you didn’t spook it.”
The four stood quietly for a few moments, suddenly convinced that Satan’s Dust Bunny was going to make a break for it at any second.
Asahi was the first to break the silence. “So what do we do with it?”
Tsukishima answered with what they were all thinking. “We kill it. Obviously.”
“With what?” Hinata asked. “I have a big book at home I use for bugs, but we don’t have anything here big enough.”
“You could just smack it,” said Tsukishima. “We hit spikes and jump serves; one little bug isn’t going to survive a hit like that.”
Noya reeled backwards, shaking his head. “Do you see that thing? It’s got, like, a billion little spindly legs! You couldn’t pay me enough to actually touch it.” He shuddered at the idea.
Asahi nodded emphatically. “Besides, what if we accidentally put a hole in the wall? Daichi would murder us.”
“What about a slipper? They’ve got hard soles, it would do the job.” Tsukishima suggested.
“No way Hinata or I could reach that,” Noya retorted. “Jumping only goes so far, and that thing is almost on the ceiling! Besides, what if we miss?”
Tsukishima shrugged. “Just try to hit it again. Duh.”
“No, no, if we miss it’ll scurry.” Noya countered. “And I don’t think all those legs are just for show; that thing looks like it can move.”
“Yeah, it has to be one of you two.” Hinata agreed.
Noya patted Asahi on the arm, the very image of insincere encouragement. “C’mon Asahi, you can do it! Just a little hop up and it’s gone!”
Asahi, who had been very intentionally Not Looking At The Thing, flicked his gaze towards the ceiling for a fraction of a second. The color drained from his face, and he went back to pointedly staring at the floor tiles. “Are you kidding? Look at that thing! It’s like the unholy offspring of Death and Satan!”
Hinata turned to Tsukishima and started, “Then, Tsukki…”
“Don’t call me that.”
“You’ve got to kill it!”
“Why does it have to be ME?”
“Because,” Nishinoya interjected, “You’re the only one who’s tall enough to hit it, and you’re not scared of it!”
“Of course I’m scared of it,” the taller boy responded, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. “No way in hell am I getting any closer.”
“Then how do you propose we get rid of it?” Hinata balled his fists in frustration. “It’s kill or be killed, and I’m not going to die here!”
“If we framed it right, we could burn the place down and nobody would suspect it was arson,” Tsukishima suggested. Something about his tone made Asahi shudder. Behind the sarcasm hid a cold layer of intent.
Hinata glared upwards. Hell’s Toothbrush hadn’t moved so much as an antenna, but once they made their move it would run faster than any spider. He grimaced. “If only we had a can of roach spray or something. Then we wouldn’t have to get close to it to kill it.”
Noya’s eyes widened, and he turned towards Tsukishima. “Hey, there are cleaning supply closets around here, right?”
The taller boy nodded, catching on immediately. “Yeah, there’s one or two on every floor. If you guys all split up and look…”
“We can still make it through this alive,” Asahi finished. “But we’ll have to be quiet. The coaches and managers are probably all asleep already.”
“No need to worry.” Nishinoya and Hinata had taken on a sudden air of grim determination, and the second-year spoke for both of them. “No matter what, we’ll make sure our precious managers’ sleep remains undisturbed!”
Asahi nodded back gravely. “Then let’s go. We’ve got no time to lose.”
The three parted ways, Hinata and Asahi out of sight in an instant. But after only a few steps, Nishinoya hesitated, then backtracked to stand next to Tsukishima. He spent a quiet moment staring at the Hellspawn. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow, but before he could say anything, Noya explained.
“I have literally never seen a bug like this in my entire life.”
Now both eyebrows were raised. “Really?”
“Yeah, really,” Noya took a small step forward, squinting in the dim hallway to get a better look, then shuddered as he instantly regretted it. “I didn’t know anything this ugly existed. I kind of wish I could have lived my whole life without knowing that these things were creeping around, you know?”
Tsukishima nodded quietly. When neither of them kept talking, Nishinoya waved his hand awkwardly and jogged off to continue the mission, leaving Tsukishima alone to guard the Killer Feather. He shifted uneasily. He really did hate house centipedes. The first time he had seen one, he had just turned nine, and caught a glimpse as it darted between the refrigerator and the stove. It moved so quickly and so smoothly, unlike any spider he had ever seen, and when it didn’t reappear he had almost convinced himself he had imagined it. Nothing that impossible could have actually gotten into his house. It wasn’t until his mother spotted one in the living room two years later that he understood the reality of what he had seen.
He glanced quickly down the hall, impatient even though barely a minute had passed, then instantly returned his gaze to the target. It hadn’t really moved since they had seen it, but while everyone else had been bickering, he had hardly taken his eyes off of it. He had seen antennae twitching and, once, he was almost certain it had taken a single step forward. It was definitely alive, probably awake, and certainly ready to dash if they made even the slightest misstep.
Damn it, he even hated looking at them. The more he stared, the more he had to imagine how it would move, where it would go first, or even which end was the front. Suddenly filled with morbid curiosity, he spent a minute or two trying and failing to spot a pair of pincers. He concluded that it was probably harmless. Most of the scariest-looking bugs were, after all. Like rhinoceros beetles. Or no, like craneflies! Those things looked like enormous killer mosquitoes, but they didn’t even have mouths to bite with! There was really no reason to get this bent out of shape. No way it could actually hurt any of them.
But he still couldn’t stop imagining the horrible prickling sensation of all of those legs…
After what felt like an eternity, the first scout returned. Asahi tiptoed back down the dim hallway, clutching in his white-knuckled hands a… Swiffer dust mop?
Tsukishima’s brow furrowed. “What do you think you’re going to do with that?”
Asahi shrugged nervously. “Well, I was thinking we could use the flat end and hit it from a distance, so none of us would have to get close to it, but I don’t know…the hinge moves around too much, and if we don’t kill it in one go, it could take longer for someone to get the second hit…”
“It was a pretty good idea,” Tsukishima said. “Hang onto that in case they don’t find any roach spray.”
The other boy nodded, gripping the dust mop. The two stood in silence for a few seconds, one staring at the Hellfeather, the other pointedly pretending it didn’t exist. Asahi was just about to say something when he spotted an unruly mop of orange hair turn the corner. “Hey, Hinata’s back. Maybe he found someth…” He stopped when he saw Hinata’s spoils.
All he had were a clipboard and a frustrated expression.
Tsukishima snickered. “What are you going to do with a clipboard? Sign it up for the team? Not too bad of an idea, with all its arms it could probably receive better than you…”
“Shut up!” Hinata turned red, barely restraining himself from shouting in the empty hallway. “It was all I could find!”
“Hey, hold on,” Asahi held out a hand, trying to cut the tension. “At least you found something. You could use that as a pretty good weapon. All I found was this dumb mop that probably won’t work at all.”
“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing you have me!” A new voice cut in. The other three turned around to see Nishinoya striding towards them, brandishing a roll of packing tape and, impossibly, a can of Raid.
“NOYA-SENPAI, YOU’RE AMAZING!” Hinata shouted, then instantly clapped his hands over his mouth as the others shushed him. “Sorry, sorry,” he whispered through his fingers. “Nice find, senpai!”
“I know, right?” The libero puffed out his chest, waving the blue can around. “And,” he continued, holding up the tape, “I have a foolproof plan.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” Tsukishima muttered, but Noya barreled on.
“All we have to do is stick a piece of tape over the trigger. That’ll guarantee a constant stream of death so that we don’t have to worry about our fingers getting tired. One solid hit and it’s done for!”
Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. “Hey, let me see that.” He swiped the miraculous can out of Noya’s hands, and his brow furrowed. He turned it back to the others. “This is for ants.”
“So what?” Noya asked. “It’s Raid. It kills bugs. That,” he emphasized, pointing to the Legbeast, “is a bug. It’ll do the job. End of story.”
“I’m actually not so sure,” Asahi countered, wringing his hands nervously around the dust mop. “Ants are tiny, and it doesn’t take much to kill them, you know? But that thing is probably, like, 30 centimeters long…”
“It’s not that long,” Tsukishima said, adjusting his glasses. “It’s barely half that size, and this is one of the smaller ones I’ve seen.”
“That’s what she said?” Noya suggested in a weak attempt to lighten the mood.
“The point is,” Asahi plowed on, “what if the Raid isn’t powerful enough and it just makes a break for it after we start spraying? Sure, it’ll die at some point, but not before it could get to one of us.”
“And after that it would be covered in poison, so we couldn’t just hit it,” Tsukishima added.
The four of them paused, considering their options.
“Hey, I’ve got an idea. Gimme that.” Hinata snatched the tape and scrabbled at the roll until he found the end. He then started wrapping the end of the mop in tape, sticky-side-out. His tongue peeked out from between his teeth as he concentrated, and the other three leaned forward, in various stages of figuring out his plan.
They jerked back as Hinata suddenly brandished the sticky-ended Swiffer. “This way, if we hit it at all, even if it’s not hard enough to kill it, it can’t run! None of us have to get close to it, either! All we have to do is not miss the first time and we’re safe!”
“That’s brilliant!” Noya grinned, slapping Hinata’s shoulder. “I’m never letting Kageyama call you a dumbass ever again, you’re an absolute genius!”
Hinata handed the mop to Noya and picked up the clipboard again, squaring up against the enemy. “Great! So you can use the mop, Tsukishima and I can be backup with the roach spray and this thing, and Asahi can…”
“Nah, I’m okay back here.”
The other three turned around as Asahi’s voice carried from further back than it should have. He had taken refuge just behind the corner. All that was visible of the tall spiker were white-knuckled fingers curled around the corner and half of a terrified face.
“Hey, no fair…” Hinata began, but he was cut off by Tsukishima.
“Let him be. Besides, we don’t have a weapon for him, so there’s really not even any reason for him to stick around and watch. You know, if you don’t want to.” The last comment was directed at Asahi, who shook his head vigorously.
“No, I need to know that this thing is dead. I’ll just… make sure from over here.”
“Alright then,” Nishinoya said, squaring his shoulders and hefting the Sticky Swiffer like a broadsword. “I guess it’s now or never.”
The others shuffled nervously. Hinata brandished his clipboard. Tsukishima adjusted his finger on the trigger of the spray bottle. Asahi swayed, ready to make a dash for it if things turned sour. All three waited for Noya to make the move that would decide their fates.
Any second now.
Any. Second. Now.
Any.
Second.
Now.