Chapter Text
“Alya, why did you reject him?”
Since I was little, I’d heard that question more times than I could count. I never understood why everyone made such a big deal out of it. If I didn’t know the boy, why would I date him? It would be strange to say yes to someone I knew nothing about.
Even after realizing my way of thinking wasn’t exactly common, I still had no intention of dating anyone during school. It would only get in the way of the work I set for myself.
A boy would just drag me down.
“I’ve never even talked to him before. I don’t know him at all. Why should I date someone just because he likes how I look?”
You don’t know what I’m aiming for, you don’t know how I act, you don’t know anything about me.
Just my appearance.
That isn’t a reason.
“What are you going to do after graduating? If you keep this up, you’ll end up alone. I heard it’s harder to find someone in university. What if no one pays attention to you because you act so cold?”
It was… a blunt question. For a moment, I wondered…what if I really grew older with no one by my side? What if no one cared for me at all?
I had no real goal, only the habit of working hard. No end in sight. No boy could stand beside me as an equal. They were all so foolish, caring only about how pretty I looked. None of them cared about my feelings.
None of them could support me.
If, by some miracle, someone appeared who could care for me at this height… maybe I could move forward without fearing the unknown. But there was no one like that. I’d already left everyone behind.
It was too late.
Everyone is too lazy. Everyone is incompetent. How could I date someone who can’t even get their work done?
Even when I decided I would live alone, the fear of falling remained…falling with no one to catch me.
But I still kept walking.
I don’t even know why.
“Just shut up and take my hand!”
When he said that, it felt like a weight I’d been carrying on my own finally loosened, letting me breathe again.
Maybe…just maybe…I could have someone who accepted me, someone who stood beside me, supporting me, caring for me…
Loving me…
I can’t explain how much those few words meant. Part of me wanted to be loved, but another part wanted to stand above everything.
If I became student council president, maybe I could finally be free of that pressure…
“Yeah… I see. You’ve worked hard. Really hard.”
“I’m happy for you. You earned this.”
Hearing that made me feel seen. The fear of the unknown faded. Even when his carefree behavior annoyed me and I complained over little things, he never pushed back. He handled everything so gently…never with resentment or irritation.
It was frustrating how kind he could be, how he never blamed me even when he had every right to.
He was the only one who could stand by my side, who understood what I felt and what I went through.
Realizing that I wasn’t the only one wandering in the dark was comforting. His warmth made the weight I carried feel lighter.
I felt like I could fly as long as he was there.
But somehow, he could never fly next to me freely. Something held him down—something he couldn’t show me.
Whenever I asked, he only smiled gently and teased his way out of it.
On my 16th birthday, Masachika finally told me what weighed on him. His sister Yuki, his family, the things from his childhood he had kept hidden behind that smile.
I never imagined he had been holding back so much.
He promised to become the head of the Suou family, to take responsibility for everything…but only if we win next year’s election. I can’t let that slip.
I can’t afford failure.
But… how long will you stay by my side?
[ I… I need you ]