Actions

Work Header

Double Black

Summary:

Chuuya and Dazai are dating, with enough PDA to make one vomit rainbows. Both are hiding a huge secret from each other: that they’re assassins.

Turns out they’re working for rival companies too. Turns out they were actually sent to kill each other by their respective companies. Turns out they actually hate each other’s guts and were just pretending to like each other (well, okay, maybe not the last one).

[aka The Fake Dating AU + assassins + crossdressing + shenanigans , because why not]

“T-That’s so s-sweet of you!” Yeah, so sweet that he can just gag. “N-Nobody’s ever told m-me that.” Probably because he’ll kill them dead if they attempt to do so.
“It’s been fifteen hours since we saw each other.”
Chuuya wants to scream: If you’re gonna flirt like that, do it right! It’s been sixteen hours, damn it, not fifteen!

Notes:

as mentioned in the tags, this was inspired by the Mr & Mrs Smith movie, though I haven't watched that movie in a loooong time so there probably wouldn't be very similar plot points lol

Chapter 1: prologue

Chapter Text

the zero move: prologue

 

“Hey, babe, sorry I took so long!”

Nakahara Chuuya turns around quickly, a happy smile on his face. The smile grows bigger when he sees the huge bouquet of roses on his date’s hand, a blush painting his cheeks.

“T-T-That’s fine,” he stutters shyly, his voice barely above a whisper. And in the crowded cinema on a Friday night, his voice is practically mute. “I didn’t wait long.”

“I’m still sorry.” Dazai Osamu, ever the gentleman, reaches out for Chuuya’s right hand and brings the knuckles to his lips. “It won’t happen again.”

“I-It’s fine, Osamu-san.”

“By the way, here’s some roses for you, though please accept my apologies that I can’t find flowers that can match your loveliness.”

“Y-you’re always teasing me, Osamu-san...”

“I’m not, I’m only telling the truth.”

“Y-you’re always like that,” Chuuya covers his blushing cheeks with his hands - or at least, attempts to.

“You really are lovely,” Dazai comments with wonder, lovestruck being the only adjective acceptable to define his expression at the moment. “But in the meantime, we should go and watch the movie you wanted.”

Dazai’s hand settles around Chuuya’s shoulder, the extravagant bouquet in Chuuya’s arms attracting envy from the other patrons.

“A-Are you really fine with ‘For The Tainted Sorrow’, Osamu-san?”

“Anything that my beloved wants to see is fine with me.”

“You’re always so s-sweet to me.”

“That’s just because I’m a man in love.”

Chuuya replies by leaning closer into his suitor’s one-armed hug.

And as they go inside the cinema, practically shoved into each other’s personal space, the two of them have a rare moment of having the exact same thought:

Urgh, I can’t wait until this mission is over so I can kill this guy.

 

 

 

 

end of the zero move