Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and carefully lifted the crystal bottle on his desk to pour a glass of fifty year old scotch. He filled it right to the brim with no ice. Usually the bottle was reserved for clients; something that was old and expensive to decorate his gorgeous office. It was also useful to calm people down. But right now he was the one who needed to calm the fuck down.

The Alpha was having a perfectly good day until evening when two of his shitty friends waltzed into his office. Netflix was calling his name but tweedle dee and tweedle dum made themselves at home with a mountain of binders stacked on his coffee table. Now he was getting a headache.

Continuing to ignore the noisy pair, Levi raised the glass to his lips to take a few large gulps of the burning liquid and slammed the now half full glass back on the desk. It tasted like shit and it will make him feel like shit but if he drinks enough he will be able to forget this inconvenience and be too drunk to stab his friends to death. Maybe he could drunkenly watch netflix instead. Always a good option.

"See? Now he has a drinking problem," Hange yelled as they raised a pointed finger. "Add that to the list; anger issues, obsessive cleaning tendencies, super short, socially awkward, mean spirited, emotionally stunted, blunt, shit sense of humour, and now he's an alcoholic!" They counted his so-called attributes on their fingers. The Beta was sprawled across the expensive leather couch adjacent to Levis desk with three stacks of black binders piled on the coffee table in front of them. They turned towards the Alpha perched across from them in one of the leather chairs. "What else did I miss, Erwin?"

"He's also rude. You should enquire if your guests desire a drink before you pour yourself one, Levi. I for one would gladly accept a glass of the scotch I bought you," Erwin teased, clearly enjoying himself.

Levi glared at Erwin before he stood up to make his way to the second chair with the alcohol. His body melted into the leather as he handed Erwin the half empty glass while keeping the bottle to himself.

“Oo I want some,” said Hange, reaching for the liquor from where they lay. “Gimme!”

Levi hugged the bottle to his chest and gave them the finger.

"Very rude," Hange exclaimed, sitting up. "You will never be able to find a mate like this."

Levi stiffened at the word mate. Then he slouched further into the chair. "I don't want a mate," he said rocking the scotch like it was a newborn baby.

"As your best friend-" Hange started, hearing the lie in the smaller alpha’s voice.

"Shitty glasses, the blonde fucker is more of my best friend than you-"

"As your bestest friend in the whole wide world, I am worried about you," the beta finished as they leaned toward Levi from the couch and fixed him with their intense spectacled stare. "You haven't gotten laid in years and honestly your alpha needs to get some. I don't care if you want another Alpha, Beta, or Omega. I don't judge. You just need to get er done."

A blush ghosted across Levi's usually impassive face at the mention of his nonexistent sex life. Time to deny. "I get laid all the time."

"Pfftttt." Hange snorted. "I practically stalk you, my precious little goblin.”

“Wait? You stalk me?”

“I prefer the word ‘shadow’.The point is I would know if you had wetted your whistle and you most certainly have not," they crossed their arms and leaned back into the leather with a smug smile.

Levi tensed forward to get up and strangle Hange to death when Erwin put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hange has a point," said Erwin. He took a small sip from the used glass and avoided Levis gaze.

“You’re siding with the stalker?” Levi said, the betrayal hitting deep.

“Shadow!” corrected the Beta, wiggling their fingers mysteriously.

Erwin ignored them both.

"All you do is work. You have very few friends. You never go out and we hardly see you. Even if you are not an alcoholic, you cannot deny that you have been drinking more heavily and more often. And Hanji is correct about your love life as well." He turned to look Levi in the eye. "You never take a partner to ease your ruts and frankly your use of suppressants is unhealthy."

Well shit. If Erwin was worried then maybe Levi did have a problem. The fucker usually left Levi to figure out his own shit but the other Alpha always listened to any problems and offered advice when requested. Of course he would mention the drinking though. Levi put the bottle on the floor next to his chair.

"So what you two are saying," Levi said alternating his glare back and forth between Erwin and Hange, "is that you're worried I'm not out fucking every willing person in the city?"

"That's not what I meant Levi," said Erwin, clearly exasperated.

Hange’s eyes flashed dangerously, losing their teasing demeanor. "There's nothing wrong with sleeping around Levi. The demonizing of sexuality should be left back in the 20th century. Having sex with more than one person does not sully a person’s body."

It was Levi's turn to be exasperated. He threw his hands up in the air.

"That's not what I meant! People can do with their bodies as they please," Levi said as he put his head into his hands to rub as his eyes. He really didn't want to admit this but the two would never leave him alone otherwise. He mumbled into his hands, "personally, I can't sleep with someone without commitment. If I wanted a partner, not that I'm saying I do, I'd want them to be someone I'm bonded to for life. My mate." This was probably the most embarrassing conversation he's ever had. Well, except the sex talk with Kuchel. A shiver went down his spine at the memory.

Erwin stared at Levi as he thought over the new piece of information. "But you haven't even tried looking for a long term partner either, if you do really want a bonded mate," the blonde countered.

Levi's hands shifted from his face to pull at his hair in frustration.

“Didn't you listen to Hange’s earlier list? Yeah sure I'm attractive enough and a lawyer. But no one wants to bond with this mess of idiosyncrasies,” he said through gritted teeth. “Not to mention I hate everyone and everything.”

If Levi had looked up, he would have noticed the anger leaving Hange's eyes to be replaced with affection for their poor grumpy baby.

"I figured that was the problem. But don't worry bubba. I got you," they said with a grin gesturing towards the binders.

Levi slowly lifted his head and stopped pulling his hair. He shot one curious gaze towards Hange then he reached forward with his pale hand and slid the closest binder onto his lap. On the cover written with gold lettering was a website. It read 'www.hotomegabrides.com'.

The frustration and self pity he felt a moment before left his body. It was replaced by disgust and outrage.

Usually, Levi had very good control over his alpha nature. He kept his scent reined in and never used persuasion over the other dynamics. His omega mother taught him to respect others before she died, unlike some alphas. But that did not mean he was weak. Hell no.

The smell of fury swept through the room as Levi's eyes lit up the office casting shadows on the furniture and bookcases. He stood up slowly letting the binder fall to the floor, his Alpha gaze locked on the Beta across from him.

Hange of course was completely unperturbed by the display, raising their eyebrows at the sudden shift in demeanour of their Alpha friend. They didn't even turn their head in submission to placate the Alpha.

"How fucking dare you," Levi growled, "You want me to buy an Omega? Like some sort of sex slave, Hange? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Levi's whole body shook as he tried to hold himself back from attacking his friend.

Hange's eyes opened wide with shock. Then they started to laugh. Their head was thrown back, with arms clutching their stomach as their gasps and giggles filled the room.

Levi's eyes turned back to normal and his body stopped shaking, too shocked by Hange's response to continue being furious. He rounded on Erwin with a ‘what the fuck’ look. The other Alpha was also snickering behind a hand trying to cover his amusement.

"What the fuck is going on assholes? Why are you laughing?" Levi demanded as his seated friends continued to cackle. He resisted the urge to stomp his foot like a child.

"I can't breathe-" the Beta screamed between laughs as they fell off the couch and continued to writhe on the floor in front of the coffee table.

Erwin gained his composure much faster. "Levi, you can't just buy an Omega anymore. Well, legally anyway. That is not what we are suggesting."

“Then what the hell is with the name? Hot Omega brides? That’s offensive,” Levi huffed, unconvinced.

“The name is pretty stupid,” Erwin conceded, “but I’m sure it’s more of a marketing ploy to get idiotic Alphas to come to the site. Besides the name, it’s reputable. So sit down and stop with the scent. You're hurting my nose”

Levi narrowed his eyes but he did as he was told. Once again seated in the leather chair, he took a deep breath to calm down and rein in his scent. He would need to spray some scent maskers to get rid of the smell completely though.

Hange, finally over their laughing episode, sat up from the floor and fixed their stray glasses. "Oh man that was a good laugh. I needed that," they said grinning up at Levi and picking up the dropped binder to place it back in the stack.

"Get to the point, shitty glasses," grumbled Levi.

"This website is an international dating service for people with the intent of finding a mate to bond with. And it's not just to match Alphas with Omegas. You can also find another Alpha or a Beta as well. It's closer to an arranged marriage I guess," said Hange searching for the correct description.

"Yeah like an arranged bond leads to a happy marriage," muttered Levi unconvinced.

"It's how I met Armin," said Erwin with a sheepish smile mentioning his tiny omega mate that he had been bonded to for two years now.

Levi's jaw dropped as he whipped his head to the blonde. This conversation was going to give him whiplash.

"Seriously," the Levi asked the Erwin in disbelief.

"And how I met Moblit," Hange added.

Levi shocked into silence, looked back and forth between his two closest friends. Eventually he slumped back into the chair, not exactly sure what to say when faced with this kind of information. There was one question that was bothering him.

"How the fuck did I not know about this?"

The other Alpha and Beta both just shrugged looking at each other.

"It's not something to be advertised. But we would have told you if you had asked how we met our mates," said Erwin holding out his now empty glass for more scotch which Levi obliged grabbing the bottle off the floor and refilling the glass.

Hange clapped her hands together, "now that's cleared up, which set of binders do you want to go through? I've got all three dynamics here since I didn't know your preference. I bet you'd be into alphas you sly dog-"

Without thinking, Levi shook his head and said "I'm more into Omegas. Ones who identify as male." The alcohol was loosening his lips for sure.

"OH EM GEE" Hange shrieked, "That's so cute!"

"You would say that no matter his preference," Erwin pointed out.

"So? It's nice to finally know what he's into after all these years. I swear he won't tell me anything," they said as they stood to pass Levi the middle stack of binders. The Beta also managed to swipe the scotch from the ravens hands while he was distracted.

The pile was now in his lap, but he still didn't know what to do.

"If you've both been successful with this before, how the fuck does this work," Levi sighed running his hand over the smooth surface of the top binder.

Hange took a generous gulp of their newly acquired brown liquid then smiled in victory. They knew they had managed to catch Levi's interest if he was asking how to do this. So they dived into the explanation.

"Okay first things first snookums-"

"Hange for fuck sakes-"

"In the binder, go on open it, no seriously I'm not continuing until you open it. Good. Okay in the binder you will find a list of names. These are the candidates. Under each name their dynamic, their gender, their age and occupation will be listed-"

"Wait what are these weird baggies-"

"Stop interrupting Levi that's very rude. Under the font you will find samples of scent to smell inside the baggies taped to the page. Basically you pick a couple of the scents you find the most appealing then you send a scent sample to the candidate. If they like it then you are a match," the brunette finished.

"But wait," Levi scowled in confusion. "I have to pick my potential partner without knowing what they look like? What about their likes, dislikes, stance on children, and political alignment? That shit is important to know."

Erwin decided to answer this question. "To pick a good partner, you don't want to be distracted by the way they look. If you are matched through scent then you will be able to exchange pictures and emails with your matches until you decide you want to meet a couple of potential mates in person. Through the emails you can get to know your potential partners."

"You don't have to do this Levi if you don't want to," the Beta interjected suddenly sounding worried about forcing the idea. "The people on this website are committed to finding their forever bond. If you aren't committed then you really shouldn't begin the process."

Levi ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't know what I want. Or what I want to do. Or if I would be committed to this."

Both Erwin and Hange smiles faded at his words. It was obvious they were both disappointed

"I'll think about it though," Levi compromised staring at the binders in his lap.

"YAY!" screamed Hange. They jumped from their seat and showered the room with the rest of the fifty year old scotch. The Beta pointed at Erwin as they waved the empty bottle, "Find us more expensive booze commander money bags. We need to celebrate."