Chapter Text
Sasuke returns to the village after a journey of wandering the world at large. He’s not sure if he’s truly learned anything during his travels, beyond how much nothing beats a warm bed and a busy market full of people with easily accessible groceries. It was nice to take a break from the village, at least, and to ruminate on what he wants with his future.
Ideally, Sasuke wants to revitalize his clan. As the last Uchiha alive, it feels rather like a duty to fulfill, one Sasuke goes back and forth on if he actually looks forward to doing. The difficult part is that Sasuke seems to lack… the libido for the required method of repopulating a clan.
He’s tried. During his travels, he’s perused bars and clubs, enjoying a night with a woman who found him attractive enough, and it never satisfied that itch in him. He never felt pleased, even if he had orgasmed, which he sometimes struggled to do in beds with women he wasn’t sure he was actually even attracted to, beyond knowing they were supposed to be attractive. Curvy bodies and symmetrical faces, soft lips and well groomed hair. Traits he was aware made a woman attractive, traits he sought after in clubs and bars and other social places, but he wasn’t sure how much they truly meant to him.
That said, Sasuke’s pretty neutral about his own gender as well. Perhaps if he could find a way to repopulate his clan with a man, he would be investigating them more, but at present, Sasuke has never found a man good enough to go experimenting with, and he doesn’t have the same drive, so to speak, to bother having more sex he probably won’t care for.
There’s only one person Sasuke had ever felt sexual attraction for, but it does him no good. He would never be interested in Sasuke, considering the strained relationship spurned after Sasuke had left the village, and he wasn’t able to give Sasuke what he wanted, anyway. Still, it was sometimes that man who lingered in the back of his mind when a woman propositioned him at a bar, and it was him that he sometimes saw when he tried to arouse himself enough that the women he bed wouldn’t be suspicious.
It was supposed to be nothing more than a childish crush. Kakashi was one of the first adult figures he interacted with on a regular basis after the rest of his clan had been wiped. He was often forced to be physical with the man, in training or in combat, and it was supposed to be nothing more than the typical teenage attraction from a powerful authority figure who happened to have a striking figure.
Sasuke’s never seen his face, for fuck’s sake. But that did nothing to curb his interest, considering as time passed, it only grew. Meeting Kakashi again after his training with Orochimaru only proved that the attraction hadn’t faded. In fact, it had grown even worse than before, and after the first time they had crossed paths, Sasuke had jacked off to the fantasy of putting that man in his place, of making those powerful muscles bend to his will, of forcing him on his knees so he wasn’t so high and mighty, of making that smooth voice stutter, of making him test his flexibility with the positions Sasuke had in mind.
It would be a lie to say that Kakashi’s physical body was the only thing Sasuke was attracted to, though it certainly helped. The tight clothes that emphasized his arms and legs and other assets didn’t exactly keep Sasuke’s eyes off of him. But Kakashi was powerful as well, clearly having grown stronger in the past few years just as Sasuke had, unlocking a new power within his sharingan, and proving what a menace the legendary Copy Ninja was with his physical prowess. It was a body that was attractive, no doubt, but it was a finely tuned weapon Sasuke could also respect.
Besides that, perhaps Sasuke held some softness for the only man who had ever reached out to him after his clan was massacred, the only adult who had tried to set him on a better path, and remind him of all the things he had gained despite so much loss. Sasuke had not felt cared for in a long time when he had been saddled with team seven, and while Kakashi wasn’t exactly a soft caring figure, the man was quick to affirm he would never leave a comrade behind, that he would lay down his life for the students under his command, and that he truly did wish the best for each of them.
He was flawed as anyone else, certainly, but the longer Sasuke reflected on the past, of the months Kakashi had them as genin, it was clear that Kakashi had done the best he could do. The man was still an active jonin thrust into high level missions at any given moment, and had been given both the most powerful and volatile students in the village to teach, whom also had a grudging rivalry with each other that sometimes edged into homicidal if their tempers were left to spark. Kakashi had done what he could for them, and knowing that he had given his best, once he realized his students weren’t going anywhere, and truly had the potential to make for a great team, was enough for Sasuke to allow the man to grow on him, knowing no one had shown this much care, this much attention, to him in more than half a decade.
Perhaps it’s some of that fondness that leads to his interest never fading in time, and only growing, as he remembers the man Kakashi was, all those years ago. Each of them have fumbled, but sometimes Sasuke thinks Kakashi was the only one to truly understand him, despite what Naruto claims, because Kakashi is one of the few who understands the ilks of society in ways Naruto has either never seen or blindly refutes.
The burning desire for the man that was once his teacher doesn’t fade the closer he wanders to the village. In fact, it only grows, knowing he’ll be seeing the man for the first time in years. He’s mildly interested to see how Sakura and Naruto were fairing as well; he can’t decide if he hopes Sakura has moved on from him, or is still willing to enter a relationship. She might be his only option, if pursuing the revitalization of his clan is what he wants.
She’s tolerable. She has an average, rather plain look to her. But she likes Sasuke, and has a good enough personality that Sasuke wouldn’t hate being married to her for the rest of his life, if he was forced to do so. She’s fine. She can give him what he wants.
Naruto had sent a letter to him a month prior, inviting him back to the village to celebrate Naruto’s twentieth birthday. They could all officially go drinking at bars together now, and Naruto thought it would be fun to celebrate this milestone together. And, as an aside, an excuse for Sasuke to begin his reintegration into society.
Sasuke had little else to do, and after enough years, figured he should check in on the village that was once his home. So the week before Naruto’s birthday, Sasuke had begun to somberly walk back to Konoha, taking his sweet time, unsure how he felt about returning to both the place and the people within.
He arrives the day before. The idiot gate guards he can never remember the names of are stationed at their post, playing a card game, and nearly miss him until he clears his throat. The sight of him clearly spooks them, much as they try to play it off, and they hesitantly allow him back inside. They don’t seem terribly surprised to see him, just the usual reaction to an ex-terrorist who had a rinnegan, and Sasuke wondered if Naruto or Kakashi had warned them of his return.
The streets are busy. Sasuke keeps his head down, letting his bangs cover his face and his cloak cover his body as he walks across the new paths, forged from the amount of damage Konoha had seen since the last time he had walked these streets, as a genin who thought he knew everything. Things have changed, of course- buildings and landmarks he was familiar with had been rebuilt in different places or disappeared altogether.
Even the people seemed changed, more peaceful, calm, as they walked beside him, not even wary of his darker appearance as they might have once been. Despite the trials and tribulations, the paranoia of old has been fading, for the peace between the five great nations has left everyone rather giddy. It was too soon to know if it would truly last, but each kage has expressed an interest in upholding the alliance.
As Sasuke approaches the tower, shouting can be heard from above. Sasuke grimaces, glancing up to spy Sakura and Naruto pressed against the window of one of the offices of the hokage’s tower, waving eagerly at him before they finally opened the window and hopped out. Sasuke remained still, letting them jump off the roof to land beside him, both eagerly greeting him.
Naruto sweeps him into a hug, laughing, while Sakura waits her turn, impatiently crossing her arms. “Sasuke! Wow! It’s good to see you!” After nearly cracking his ribs, Naruto finally lets go, taking in Sasuke’s look. “Still as dull as ever in your fashion sense, huh? Oh! And you’ve gotten taller!”
The difference between their heights isn’t much, but just slightly noticeable. Sakura, however, is much shorter than he remembers, and Sasuke glances at the tower, wondering how he compared to the man who always seemed so high and mighty. Sakura pulling him into a bone crushing hug interrupted him, and he hesitantly patted her back, not enjoying the amount of touching they were doing, but knowing he had been gone long enough to warrant placating them.
“Come on already,” Naruto cries, grabbing his hand, preparing to drag him forward. “Let’s go inside! Kakashi is just as excited to see you as we are!”
Somehow, Sasuke doubts the enthusiasm Naruto is claiming. He removes his wrist from his hand but follows after them; Sakura rolls her eyes at both of their antics but gives him a warm smile as they walk inside the building, Naruto calling for them to pick up the pace.
The journey to the office is far more daunting than the journey to the village had been. Sasuke keeps himself neutral as Naruto prattles on about this and that until they finally enter the office.
Cool as always, Kakashi doesn’t even look up from the piece of paper he was writing on. “I assume it was the real Sasuke this time out on the street?”
Naruto bashfully scratched the back of his neck. “That was one time, alright? And he looked exactly like him! Even Sakura was fooled!”
“You said it was him!” Sakura shouted. “I was just following your lead!”
Before the two could get into a proper argument, which Sasuke could tell Naruto was about to lose, considering how much chakra Sakura was storing into her fingertips at the moment, Kakashi finally sets his pen aside with a noticeable sound that catches all of their attentions, and he glances up, offering a smile. It was odd seeing both his eyes, even if he knew Naruto had healed his other one, and it was nice to see more of his face than he used to. It didn’t give him much more information beyond seeing his scar longer than he usually did.
“Welcome home,” Kakashi says. “You can give me an official report on your travels later. For now, give me the polite small talk version.”
“You haven’t changed,” Sasuke mutters. It was both true and untrue. There was something different about Kakashi since the last time he saw him; perhaps because the wounds from Obito hadn’t healed yet, and the mounting pressures of becoming hokage were only growing. But Kakashi’s back was straighter than he’d seen outside of combat, and there was a peace within his eyes Sasuke had never noticed was missing until now. “It was uninteresting, if you must know. Nothing to report.”
“Come on,” Naruto cried. “You leave us again for almost another three years and you’ve got nothing? Not a single story? What about the villages and their reconstruction? What about interesting local cultures? Or cuisine? Had any good ramen?”
“None of you guys have changed at all,” Sakura complains, crossing her arms.
“Did you bring me a present?” Naruto asked, nosing at Sasuke’s side. “Tomorrow is my birthday, after all.
“What do you think?” Sasuke answered, scowling. In truth, what do you get the man who saved the world? Sasuke doesn’t think he owes him a present, but if Naruto gets annoying about it, he’ll just pay for a bowl of ramen. “You’re a grown adult with a job. I have no reason to give you anything.”
“Ugh! You’re so mean! And on the day before my birthday!” Naruto cries, leaning against the hokage’s desk, batting his eyes at Kakashi, who was not looking at him. “Do something about this menace!”
“You’re the one who invited him back,” Kakashi drily said, writing something on the document in front of him.
“Well, you approved it!”
“I guess we’ll both suffer the consequences. You can deal with Sasuke’s personality… and I’ll deal with yours.”
“I’m a delight, thank you!” Naruto cries, plucking the pen out of Kakashi’s hand, who resignedly lets him. Sasuke tilts his head, feeling… strange, watching the two interact. He’s not sure why this feels different than all the other conversations he had seen the two have, and he’s not sure why his stomach is tightening.
Perhaps it's the ease Naruto has with being in Kakashi’s space, leaning languidly across his shoulders to get his attention, and Kakashi allowing it without a care. The man had always been rather ruffled by displays of affection given to him, though he made an effort to dole out some of his own, perhaps knowing Naruto and Sasuke didn’t have anyone else to receive it from at the time.
“Stop working,” Naruto complains, twirling the pen he had stolen. “Sasuke’s as rude as ever, but you’re being just as impolite.”
“Since no one else is mentioning this,” Sakura begins, sending a look at Naruto and Kakashi before giving her attention to Sasuke. “Naruto graciously offered to host you while you’re in town-”
“What?” Naruto cried, sitting up, no longer leaning against Kakashi. It was a strange relief he had, seeing Naruto no longer touching the man. “I did not!”
“And we weren’t sure when you were going to come, so we didn’t make plans for tonight. I have a shift at the hospital later, and Kakashi’s rather busy with his hokage duties, so I’m sure Naruto can keep you entertained tonight. We have a lot to catch up on, anyway.”
“Entertained?” Naruto repeated. “I’m the birthday boy, shouldn’t you guys be entertaining me?”
“We already do on a daily basis,” Kakashi murmured, sliding another pen out from his desk to continue marking on his report. “Humor us for a change, won’t you?”
“On my birthday!” Naruto exclaims.
“Terrible, I know.” Kakashi glances away from his report to look at Sasuke. Their eyes meet; Kakashi’s are mischievous. Sasuke can’t help the way he swallows. “If Naruto is too annoying for you to manage, we can find better accommodations for you.”
Sasuke ponders the option while Naruto tries to pick a fight with Kakashi about his charming personality. Naruto is… a sore spot Sasuke doesn’t know how to heal. As much as he appreciates the effort Naruto put in to bring him back, Naruto had never understood him, and mainly just assumed he had. Indeed, Naruto managed to come out on top anyway, earning the praise, the love, from the village and from their friends, that Sasuke would forever be denied. He isn’t entirely sure he can handle being around Naruto for long periods of time and be constantly reminded of everything he lost, versus everything Naruto had gained.
“Would it be possible for me to stay with you instead?” Sasuke asked, looking at Sakura. A small voice wanted him to be asking that question to Kakashi instead, but he kept his goals reasonable for now. Besides, if Sakura was still holding a torch for him, this would be a great way to see if Sasuke could really stomach a relationship with her.
Sakura’s eyes light up. “Of course you can! My apartment is probably cleaner than Naruto’s, anyway.”
Naruto immediately goes on a long tangent about how he isn’t twelve years old anymore. Sakura flicks his ear, making him wince. “We all know the only reason your apartment isn’t a pigsty is because Kakashi comes over and makes you clean.”
Naruto turns pink, immediately spinning on his heels to yell, “That’s not true! He’s not over that much, anyway!”
“Aw, you clean for me?” Kakashi teases. “How sweet. And here I was, thinking you finally became a civilized member of society.”
“I don’t do it for you! I grew up! I’m good at cleaning now!” Naruto defensively crosses his arms.
“Why are you even inviting Kakashi to your place, anyway?” Sasuke asks, trying to ignore the strange flash of emotion knowing that the two hang out together, alone, in the proximity of a private bedroom, and knowing that Naruto makes a conscious effort to impress Kakashi. “Showing him your meager functional adult skills? Proving you finally learned how to use a stick of deodorant? Do you really still need your sensei’s approval for things?"
“At least I have an apartment!” Naruto cries. “I pay rent! I have a job! I don’t wanna hear it from you of all people!”
“Oh, Naruto’s lined up to be the hokage after Kakashi, remember?” Sakura prods. Her eyes sparkle mischievously, though whatever joke she seems to be in on, she doesn’t share. “They hang out sometimes to talk about all the boring paper work stuff Kakashi has to do.”
“I appreciate how much respect you have for my position,” Kakashi drawls.
“You’ve complained about it enough that I think I could do the job for you.”
“Is that an offer?”
“No way!” Sakura laughs, tossing her hair out of her face. “I’d rather work three double shifts at the hospital than set foot in this office for anything other than bothering you, or dropping off more paperwork for you to do.”
“The job is mine, anyway,” Naruto says, proudly. “Besides, you don’t want Sakura in charge of things. She’ll spend all the money on gambling, just like old Tsunade.”
“I told you I don’t do bets anymore!”
“Because of how much you lost last time?”
“Shut up!”
“Alright,” Kakashi begins, clearly uninterested in the shouting match that’s about to occur. “Sasuke will be staying with Sakura until he decides to leave again or gets his own place. Tomorrow, we are going to be celebrating Naruto’s birthday at a shinobi bar. Sakura can give you the time and place. Naruto, you have a report you need to finish. Sakura, you have a shift starting soon. Why don’t you take Sasuke back to your place and help him get settled in? After she goes to work, Sasuke can comeback and give me an official report over the last three years.”
“Ugh,” Naruto moaned. “How come you always got to be late on your reports, but I can’t be…?”
“Perhaps I have learned from my mistakes.”
“You just like to punish me,” Naruto whines, taking the pen from Kakashi’s hand and grabbing a blank mission report Kakashi had clearly intended on giving him. “You hypocrite.”
“Come on,” Sakura entreats, already walking away from the others. “I live somewhere different now, so I’ll have to show you the way. I need to get dressed for work, anyway, so it works out.”
Sasuke lingers for a moment, reluctant to leave. Something stirs inside him, seeing Naruto left behind with Kakashi, leaning into his space and poking and prodding at whatever the man was doing, ignoring the chore Kakashi had assigned him. Kakashi was already indulging him, a teasing banter striking between them as Sasuke finally closed the door behind him, swallowing the emotion back down.
Sakura tells him all the latest gossip and news, as much as she can pack into their walk back towards the apartment. Sasuke tunes her out as soon as she started talking, mulling over the current state of affairs. He only perked up when he sensed a lull in the conversation, and could use the opportunity to ask a question.
“And so that’s how Ino and Sai got together,” Sakura finishes.
“Interesting. What about Naruto?” Sakura’s discussed all the faceless classmates that became their friends. Sasuke couldn’t care less about them. There was one girl that had a crush on him, wasn’t there? He doesn’t remember her name, but she had a byakugan. “That Hyuuga girl still interested?”
“Ha! Naruto let her down. She wasn’t his type, which isn’t surprising. But Hinata and Kiba have been dancing around each other for forever now.” Sakura launches into a conversation about those two, which Sasuke could, again, not care any less than he already does. He lets her ramble for a while, ruminating on the new information.
“So neither you or Naruto have gotten with anyone?”
“Ah, no.” Sakura looks a little embarrassed, pushing some hair behind her ear. “Well, I’m holding a torch for someone, but we’ll just have to play it by ear.” So she was definitely still interested in him. Good. “Naruto is in the same boat, I think.”
“Who are you interested in?” Sasuke asks, because it’s the correct response in this scenario, and he can feign being interested.
“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Sakura shrugs. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, anyway. I’m going to become the head doctor of the hospital soon. I’ll be far too busy to handle something like that.”
Probably only half true. She will be busy, but she is likely still marginally interested in trying anyway. Noted. “And Naruto?”
That mischievous look crosses her face again as they hit an apartment building that must belong to her. They climb the stairs together, Sakura smiling. “I think Naruto’s crushing on Kakashi!”
His stomach sinks. His ears ring. He steadies his breath as best he can, not daring to look at Sakura. “Really?”
“You saw the way he was acting!” Sakura nods her head, agreeing with herself. “Besides, he’s had a crush on him since he was a little kid, probably since he was a genin. But I think Naruto’s getting more confident on actually having a shot with Kakashi, now that he doesn't see us as his students anymore. Hell, Kakashi is going drinking with us tomorrow, like were real adult colleagues.”
“You think he might make a move soon?” Sasuke wonders, a bitter taste on his tongue at the idea.
“Maybe.” Sakura taps her chin as she unlocks the door. “He’s definitely gotten bolder. I’m sure that after his birthday, he’ll probably try something. I bet he’s been waiting ‘til he turned twenty to try to seem as mature as possible before hitting him up.”
Anger flares within Sasuke at the idea. How wonderful, for him to have come back just in time to see Naruto make a move on one of the only people Sasuke has ever had feelings for. How wonderful, to see Naruto steal something that Sasuke should have been given the chance to have. How wonderful, to see Naruto win at everything in life, while Sasuke is forced to keep losing things he didn’t even know he could lose.
His mood was completely soured after that. Sakura gave him a small tour of her apartment, noting things of interest for him while she’s gone, but seems to notice he isn’t in a pleasant state of mind. She leaves him be, preparing for her shift at the hospital, and Sasuke stares at the pictures in her apartment.
There are many he recognises, from days spent as a team under Kakashi’s command while they were genin. There were others he did not, taken while they were older teenagers, and a few more recent ones, as adults. Sasuke was absent in all but a handful, and his jealously stirred tighter at the sight of Naruto and Kakashi in each picture, moments Sasuke deserved to have instead.
Sakura entices him to walk with her to the hospital, perhaps to try to lighten the mood one last time before her shift, and so he would know where the building was, just in case. Sasuke wanders around the village for a while after, not in a hurry to rush to the tower where the object of his turmoil sat. The last thing he should be doing is causing a scene only a few hours after he had gotten back.
Besides, it’s not a given that Kakashi actually likes Naruto back. Sasuke could make a list of all of Naruto’s negative qualities and end up needing more paper to cover them all. He’s immature, he’s a slob, he’s bone headed, he’s naive, he’s sometimes down right stupid. Sasuke could feel the tightness in his shoulders lessen. Kakashi might not always be the best at knowing what was good for him, and he put up with foolish relationships like whatever he had with Gai, but that doesn’t mean he’ll reciprocate a romantic relationship with childish, air headed Naruto.
Sighing, Sasuke finally began to head back towards the hokage’s tower. Of course Kakashi wouldn’t reciprocate. If any of them stood a chance, it would obviously be himself. Sasuke had been Kakashi’s favorite student when he was his genin, after all, and Kakashi had officially pardoned him. He was foolish to get so worked up over nothing.
Naruto is gone by the time Sasuke comes back to deliver his report. Either he finished writing (unlikely), or Kakashi shooed him away so they could be alone together. The idea was almost enough to make him preen, thinking that Kakashi wanted to be with him, and not that imbecile.
It was a standard affair. Sasuke occasionally sent letters of interest to Kakashi, to keep him updated about his whereabouts and what he has seen and done, since he is officially a village shinobi. Sasuke really hadn’t done or seen much, nothing that wasn’t already reported on. Kakashi asked a few mild questions, interested in some finer details of previous reports he had sent, but otherwise wasn't particularly demanding with his report.
“Now that we have the formalities out of the way,” Kakashi smoothly says, Sasuke trailing the way his lips move under his mask, “Why don’t we actually catch up? What do you think of the village?”
“Different than I remember it being,” Sasuke begins, slowly. “The new architecture looks nice. Very modern. The people seem at ease, too.”
“Good to hear. Glad to be back home?”
There was something hidden beneath that question. Sasuke pauses, taking in the sight of Kakashi, searching for the potential meaning. Kakashi looked as lazy as ever, propping up his head on his desk with one of his hands, dreamy eyes drooped so low he looks halfway ready to fall asleep at any moment. Kakashi gave nothing away in what he really meant, and Sasuke decided to answer as straight forward as possible, “Yes. There’s company here that’s been waiting for me, after all.”
Sasuke makes direct eye contact when he says that. Kakashi doesn’t bat an eye; is he looking underneath the underneath, or is he choosing to ignore it? Sasuke didn’t anticipate Kakashi suddenly declaring having feelings for him; it wasn’t his style. It had been several long years since they had last seen each other, and Sasuke is sure he’ll have to worm his way back into Kakashi’s life and prove himself as a superior partner.
“Naruto and Sakura have been very eager to see you again,” Kakashi notes. “It’s been a long time, after all. The last time we parted ways was rather bittersweet. I hope we’ve all grown and can move forward together.” Kakashi hums idly. “What are your plans while you’re here, anyway? Do you know how long you want to stay?”
“I didn’t really have any plans,” Sasuke admitted. “I just wanted to see what had changed, or what hadn’t, while I was gone. I don’t know how long I’ll be here for. It just depends…”
Kakashi raised a brow, curious. Sasuke crossed his arms. “I have been thinking about my future, lately, and the relationships I desire. Perhaps I will meet someone here… or perhaps I already have.”
“Sakura is still interested in you,” Kakashi begins, slowly. He almost seems unsure if he should be giving him this information. “Though she is steadily climbing in her career. But I’m sure anything can be made to work, with enough hard work involved from both parties.”
Was this Kakashi’s way of signaling he wasn’t interested? Or was he simply doing his duty to keep Sasuke at a slight distance, and encourage other relationships? Then again, Kakashi’s always been prone to keeping those he loved an arm’s length away. Perhaps it’s habitual, or perhaps Kakashi is afraid of the potential between them.
Sasuke smirks quietly. “Yes, I’m sure that’s true.”
Kakashi looked at him for a while, like he was studying him. Sasuke stayed in his gaze, unbothered by being the center of this man’s attention. In fact, he rather liked it, and hoped it could stay that way.
Sasuke wanted to revitalize his clan, so ultimately, Kakashi wasn’t a long term option. It didn’t mean Sasuke couldn’t have a taste of what he wants. And it didn’t mean he couldn’t make sure no one else has Kakashi while he’s available and free to do as he pleases. If Sakura has been holding out this long, surely she could wait a while longer. Just enough so Sasuke doesn't miss out on the one thing he’s wanted since he was a kid.
Yes, Sasuke’s made up his mind. He can fool around a bit with Kakashi. There was no harm there. If Kakashi isn’t interested… He’ll be disappointed, for sure, but he can live with himself knowing that if he can’t have him, no one else will be allowed to, either. Besides, if Kakashi wasn't interested in him, there was no way in hell he could be interested in his less mature teammate.
“I’ve been thinking,” Sasuke continues, edging closer to Kakashi’s desk. He’s watching him with that bored look of his, and Sasuke wants nothing more than to rip that mask off his face and kiss him, just to make him react. “That I’ve already met the person I’m interested in.”
Kakashi remains still. “And it’s not Sakura?”
“No.” Sasuke leans against the desk, placing his hands on the edge. Kakashi had to look up at him, sitting in his chair, and the sight of him peering up through his lashes is enough for Sasuke to feel a heat within him spark. “Someone else.”
“Interesting,” Kakashi says, mildly. “And who might this lucky person be?”
It’s obvious. Kakashi already knows, and yet he’s playing coy, making Sasuke say it out loud, making him boldly proclaim that he wants him. Sasuke doesn’t mind that Kakashi is leading him on. Maybe he just doesn’t want to make an assumption; it would be embarrassing, after all, to assume someone was into you when they were talking about someone else. Or maybe he just really wants to hear Sasuke express how badly he wants him.
“You.”
Sasuke makes his move, climbing on top of the desk and all but forcing himself on to Kakashi’s lap. It was bold and physical for him to be doing this, something Sasuke doesn’t think he would do for anyone else. But there’s that look on Kakashi’s face that’s all but begging him to confirm that he wants him, and Sasuke can’t deny the instincts inside him, slotting his legs around Kakashi’s thighs, cupping Kakashi’s chin in his hands, forcing him to look up at him.
“I want you,” Sasuke states, plain as day, and the flicker of emotion in Kakashi’s eyes has him reaching for his mask, prepared to unwrap him like the gift he is, wanting to see every inch of him, and all the emotions he can give him, especially when Sasuke starts kissing him.
Kakashi’s hand wraps around Sasuke’s wrist, stopping him in his tracks. For a moment, neither of them breathe, sitting completely still, silence settling across them as Sasuke wonders what Kakashi is doing. Is he really that shy? He can’t even remove his mask for a kiss?
“I’m sorry,” Kakashi begins. “I’m flattered you think of me this way, Sasuke, but I can’t return your feelings.”
Hot arousal crashed into burning anger. Sasuke gripped Kakashi’s chin, tight, making Kakashi’s eyes glance at his hand, his body tense, like he’s prepared to fight, which only ticks Sasuke off more. “Can’t? Or won’t? Or don’t?”
“Don’t,” Kakashi clarifies, as calm and cool as ever. The urge to ruffle him, to see an emotion beyond the mild pity in his eyes has Sasuke only barely restraining himself from doing something he was likely to regret. “I don’t feel the same way, Sasuke. We can talk more, but for now, please get off me.”
Sasuke’s lips twitch, thighs instinctively tightening around Kakashi. The rejection hurt far worse than he thought it was going to. “And why not? Why don’t you like me?”
“I just don’t feel the same way,” Kakashi says, and his grip around Sasuke’s wrist was tightening, almost painful. “Get off. Now.”
There’s a challenge in his voice. Sasuke wonders what would happen if he stayed in his lap, if he tore off his mask and kissed him. Or if he reached down Kakashi’s pants and fondled his dick. If he showed him how much fun, how much pleasure he could give him, perhaps he could convince Kakashi that he could return his feelings, at least sexually. It would be nice, to see every inch of the man he’s been interested in for almost a decade, and it would be nice to strike a little fear in him, just to see him squirm, just to see him drop that unflappable demeanor for even a moment.
Sasuke lets go of Kakashi’s chin, roughly shoving him away. With great reluctance, he climbs off of Kakashi, annoyed by the heat in his groin and the denial of making use of it. Kakashi casually adjusts his wrinkled pants, seemingly unbothered by Sasuke’s sour mood, which only infuriates Sasuke even more.
“I see,” Sasuke finally says. “And you won’t change your mind?”
“No.” Kakashi looks like he wants to say something, then decides against it. Instead, he tidies up a stack of paper Sasuke had pushed around while he was climbing over the desk. He settled on, “I’m sorry I don’t feel the same. I told you once you don’t need a reason to love someone. The reverse is also true. You don’t need a reason not to love someone. I appreciate you as my former student, and hopefully a friend, but I can’t and don’t love you any other way.”
Sasuke remains silent for a few moments, watching him. Kakashi doesn’t flinch under the weight of his gaze, however, and his eyes rise to meet his, steady as always.
Sasuke is…
Disappointed.
The anger fizzles out and Sasuke sighs. He’s embarrassed now, knowing that Kakashi doesn’t feel the same way as him, even though he had long accepted this would likely be true. They have been apart for so many years, Sasuke was probably like a stranger to him. While Kakashi hasn’t changed at all, not in any meaningful capacity, Sasuke is like a funhouse mirror version of the person Kakashi once knew. It makes sense that Kakashi doesn’t feel the same way. He simply hasn’t gotten reacquainted with him yet.
Disappointment spins into determination. He’ll just have to worm his way back into Kakashi’s heart, then. He knows Kakashi cares for him, despite how much he’s changed, despite all the betrayal and lies between them. Over time, he can convince Kakashi into cultivating a romantic interest, or at least a sexual one, between them.
Sasuke is going to get what he wants, just this once. He’s earned this, after everything he’s seen and done. He deserves one good thing as a reward for all his hard work, and then he’ll resign himself to marrying Sakura or someone else and having the children he feels duty bound to have.
“I understand,” Sasuke says, trying to keep his calm. Kakashi’s pity settles into something else, perhaps relief, that Sasuke is willing to give this up. Of course, he isn’t, but Kakashi doesn’t know that yet. “Then we can settle for being friends.”
For now, he doesn’t say.
Kakashi smiles, something warm. “I’m glad to hear it. It’s nice to have you back, Sasuke. Please, remember this is your home, and it’s always waiting for you.”
Sasuke tries not to twitch, thinking about those words one day applying to Kakashi himself. Coming home to the man after long missions, welcomed with open arms, waiting for him every day. He can’t have that yet, but he will soon enough.
“Of course,” Sasuke says, trying to sound as dismissive as he usually is. “Do you need me for anything else?”
“No, I guess not.” Kakashi leans against his desk. It’s unfair how sensual the man is without even trying, the way his flak jacket shifts so Sasuke can peek down it a bit, seeing the way the tight shirt sticks to Kakashi’s chest fiercely. “You should probably get some rest. It’s been a long journey home. I’ll see you tomorrow for the celebration.”
It wasn’t spoken like a question, but it still felt like one. “Of course. See you then.”
Sasuke dismisses himself, leaving the hokage tower. He can’t have Kakashi now, but at least no one else will, either. Sasuke will make sure of that.