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yoongi is a boy, and he is okay with that. he's okay with male pronouns and certainly with the dick between his legs. he’s not okay with society seeing him as only a boy because sometimes, yoongi feels more girl than boy. its hard to explain to people who don’t know what it’s like to wake up one morning and feel uncomfortable with their own skin, but yoongi feels like sometimes his heart is too tight in his chest and that his stomach is too flat, hips too narrow and legs too bony. sometimes he feels like he should have a curvier torso, because thats how he should be; thats how he feels. its so hard for him to explain who he is. Is he a boy, is he a girl, is he transgendered?
the best yoongi can come up with is that he is a boy, goes by male pronouns but on some occasions is more of a girl at heart. even in those times he goes by male pronouns; not because it’s easier for people, but because that is what he is more comfortable with.
so some days yoongi will show up to his college classes with his nails painted, maybe some eyeshadow to blend with the eyeliner and if he’s feeling daring; a skirt over a pair of pants or leggings. yoongi keeps his hair short, buzzed underneath a long layer that flicks across his forehead and colored a grapefruit pink.
what helps on days that he feels more girl are his already feminine features. he’s dainty, doesn't have strong build like seokjin or jungkook and his facial features are softer, smaller. what doesn’t help are the comments that tag along to his male days, the softly muttered ‘faggot’ because of his looks bitter blows to his already meager confidence level. it also doesn’t help that while he does like boys (or to be more broad, people the same gender as him) he also likes girls (or people of the opposite gender of him); bisexual.
bisexuality one of the most unbelieved sexual identities in the lgbt+ society. hell, even his parents don’t believe in him, his sexuality. they think that because he's young, that it’s just experimentation and he’ll get over it soon and pick a gender to like, and not just both. wow sometimes yoongi just thinks about how he's truly fucked himself over. and lets not even get started on his lack of romantic feelings for anyone he’s ever possibly liked.
the lack of support from his family really sucks, it tears him down a bit and overall makes him feel shitty. he knows who he is, knows that its not just a phase, but he can’t articulate it well enough. can’t explain the crippling feeling he gets every time he feels comfortable enough to explain his sexuality to someone. hell only one person knows his gender preferences- that being hoseok. yoongi just feels like sometimes its Too Much to handle. he feels like crying.
logically, yoongi knows he has every right to feel the way he should feel, that it isn't his fault that he turned out the way he has and that nothing can change the way he is- that he’s perfect just the way he is. but…. but. he doesn't feel that.
there are some days where he just doesn't want to exist, he just doesn't want to get out of bed and go to classes or even listen to music, he just wants to cry. he doesn't do that of course, because min yoongi is tough as shit and doesn’t let the little things get to him. he pretends he's okay until its actually the truth. his current feelings are only temporary and all the dysphoria he feels now will eventually fade away and he will blossom into the butterfly that he is supposed to be.
and right now he's still stuck in the chrysalis stage, wrapped in his cocoon of protection, slowly getting to know himself as he grows and changes.
his only thought are thank fuck to friends who believe in him, who are understanding of his situation because he’s sure as fuck he wouldn't be in the place he is now without them.
min yoongi is a boy, a boy with pink hair, fair skin and a small build who sometimes feels like a girl. he still identifies as a boy because that is who he is, but sometimes he's a girl. min yoongi likes boys and girls and he’s not so sure quite yet about romantic versus sexual feelings. he’s still growing and as a college student, as someone who has more in life to experience, he has every right to not know everything about himself yet.