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Changing a lightbulb should be a simple task. One simply has to screw it out and swap in a new one, easy as pie. So when Keito saw the singular light flicker in the storage closet, he immediately took it upon himself to get it fixed. After all, risking an injury now before their comeback will definitely cut sales and disappoint the fans. Just imagining their wallets stuffed thick with cash in their sparkly purses laying dormant because a certain pink-haired clumsy member of F/ACE sprained his ankle and couldn’t make it onto the album makes Keito shudder in dread.
So he got to work, dragging in a 4 foot ladder and then, switching on his cheap flashlight attached to his 20 yen keychain, he rustled around and immediately spotted the dusty box in a discreet corner with a huge stock image of a lightbulb plastered onto it. Reaching down to grab it, Keito felt a tug as his shirt got hooked onto some broken-wired clotheshanger. He swore under his breath, because of course it had to be today that he was wearing his 2200 yen shirt. He fumbled, trying to untangle it out but hesitated in the darkness of the room. One wrong tug in the blurry darkness and he would need to fetch the sewing kit or worse, buy a new shirt. And Keito was anything but willing to spend. This lightbulb problem just jumped his priority list. With a long sigh, he reached for his phone.
Ori was definitely not the one Keito was hoping for when he texted his message in the F/ACE group chat but he was the first one to show up, which Keito was—begrudgingly—grateful for, stomping in all bow-legged and making the loose debris stuck on the ceiling fall. Great, another pile of laundry. Ori laid his eyes on Keito, squatting in a corner with a banged-up dusty box in front of him and he let out a snicker. “Hey, didn’t think you liked sitting with trash too, did that wimp finally influence you with his habits too?”
Keito ignored him and instead opened the box and gestured at the sole remaining lightbulb inside. “We need to change this lightbulb in the closet.”
Ori blinked. “So? Ask the manager to do it”
“He’s not here right now and none of the other members are answering their phone so..” Keito was explaining with a shred of impatience in his voice until a sudden thought occurred to him. “You don’t know how to change a lightbulb?” He didn’t bother to hide the incredulousness in his tone. As someone who had to always run around taking care of all his younger brothers, he couldn’t even fathom the idea of someone not knowing basic household maintenance.
Ori shrugged, not at all bothered by Keito’s raised eyebrow. “We had cleaners who did it for us.” Because of course his parents’ million yen mansion would be kept tidy by paid cleaners.
“Well, you’re gonna have to learn it yourself today. First, get on the ladder,” Keito sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples in disappointment. “Then take the lightbulb out and-” His instructions were cut short as he whipped his head towards Ori, the crackling sound of breaking glass echoing around the closet. “What- Ori, what did you do?”
Ori huffed, standing from the shaky ladder with his fist in the air, posing like the picture perfect resemblance of a gorilla who won his first fight. “What? You said to take it out, so I did.” He gestured to the cracked lightbulb remnants on the floor at Keito, whose face had many different emotions flickering through it at once, namely exasperation and disapproval.
“I didn’t mean for you to punch it! What if someone else steps on the broken glass? Clean it up immediately!”
“Your fault for not saying it clearly. I can’t even get off! This stupid ladder is too shaky, where did you even get such a-”
“-What’s goin’ on here?” A familiar cigar smell oozed in from the doorway. Natsuki bumbled in with nothing on his person but briefs, clearly inebriated as he staggered to lean against the wall.
Keito wrinkled his nose in disapproval at the sight as Ori barked at him to “Put some clothes on! Nobody wants to see your birthday suit!”
Natsuki dismissed Ori with a lazy wave, waiting for Keito to explain the situation.
Keito briefed Natsuki. “We needed to take down this broken lightbulb but Ori decided to punch it instead, to take it down.”
“Not my fault you didn’t word it properly, I did what you asked!” Ori interjected with a roll of his eyes.
“Well, we now need to unscrew the lightbulb. Natsuki, stabilize the ladder still for him.” Keito snapped back.
“Natsuki can unscrew the lightbulb, I wouldn’t trust him to walk in a straight line, I’d be stupid to let him hold the ladder.”
As Natsuki teetered up the ladder with Ori on the ground and holding the ladder up, Keito and Ori watched in anticipation as Natsuki reached up to grasp the broken lightbulb carefully.
A moment passed.
Then another.
Someone coughed.
Nothing happened.
Ori glared up. “What’s going on up there? Why’s it taking so long?”
Natsuki blinked blearily. “Huh? Is it not spinning?” He could hardly even see the ceiling, the room spinning like a roundabout around him. Maybe he had been drinking a little too much lately, but he couldn’t find it in himself to really care.
Keito slapped a palm over his face. “For god’s sake, he’s too drunk to even differentiate what’s moving and what isn’t.” He rustled around and produced a tool box, digging inside to find screwdrivers, garden gloves, wrenches and pliers. “Here, Ori, pass Natsuki these.”
At that moment, a quiet voice hesitantly rings out from the corridor. “Natsuki? You left your phone in my room..”
“Tamon! Get your ass over here and make yourself useful!” Ori called out.
Tamon, holding Natsuki’s phone, traced the voice to the maintenance closet. He hoped Ori wasn’t planning on smacking him around again, his thoughts tracing all his recent memories to analyze anything wrong he could have done to piss him off. Was it because he forgot his line and Ori was forced to step in yesterday? Or when he hugged Ori a little too hard on camera last week? His thoughts turned chilling. Ori wasn’t planning on eliminating him to cut down F/ACE’s competition, was he? Tamon knew Ori hated how he took the centre position originally and always held a grudge towards him for that.
Tamon took cautious steps towards the dark closet, peering inside slowly. Within, he was greeted with the faces of Natsuki, Keito and Ori. All of them looked irritated, covered in dust and holding pointy tools in their hands while sharply shaped broken glass decorated the floor. Was this really an assassination attempt after all? Tamon immediately covered his head with his hands, eyes watering and blurting out, “I’m sorry, whatever I did, my useless existence drove you all mad and now you’re planning to kill me, right? Just make it clean, I don’t want my body making a mess of things even after death.”
Natsuki huffed, the smell of cigar circling the small closet. “We’re not gonna kill ya, bud. We just need yer help taking out this broken lightbulb and replacing it with a better one.”
Replacement. That was one of Tamon’s biggest fears since joining F/ACE. “The lightbulb is just like me..” Tamon muttered under his breath gloomily, before taking a shaky breath and facing Keito. “Uhm, I don’t actually know how to replace a lightbulb..” With another thought, Tamon prostrated on the floor, “I’m sorry! I’m so useless I don’t know how to do a simple household task like this.”
Ori laughed, “I already expected that from you, considering the notes your mom sends.” Meanwhile Keito just shook his head. “Just get out, the moisture from you is going to rot this room. It’s already moldy enough.”
Tamon nodded, mumbling more apologies. “Um, I’ll find a broom and sweep up this glass on the floor.”
He darts away and the fading footsteps are almost immediately replaced with loud whistling.
It could only be Rintaro. He pops his head into the closet cheerfully. “Hey guys! Fukuhara told me about the lightbulb issue, and fear not! I’ve never changed a lightbulb before—always had my Jeeves for that—but in episode 851, Kanpyo roll was forced to overcome this disaster of a tidal wave that threatened to..”
“Aaaand he’s gone.” Natsuki said. “I’m itchin’ for another smoke.”
“Don’t you dare! I have a recording to be at in a few hours, and that toxic scent never wears off!” Ori complained, shooting a dirty look at him.
“There you are! Ori, the production team said to send you over now!” Mr. Fujita’s weary voice reached over from the entrance of the closet. He carried a box in his arms and bent down to drop it into a shelf on the closet. “What are you all doing here?” He asked as he wiped sweat off his face with a worn out handkerchief.
Keito, too exhausted to explain anymore, just pointed to the lightbulb. “We need to change this one.”
“Oh yeah. I saw that earlier today and went out to buy a new box. It turns out the lightbulb in the old box here was of the wrong version and wouldn’t actually be able to replace this broken one.” Mr. Fujita explained as he took out a lightbulb from the newly purchased box and replaced the old shattered one with lightning efficiency.
There’s a moment of silence before Tamon popped his head in, and stammered, “I-I think the other lightbulbs on our floor stopped working too.”