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To envy someone is to harbor discontent and resentment because they have in their palms something you desire or because they have achieved something you yearn to.
That is exactly how he felt when he stared at him. He envied his power, his ability, and his skill. He envied a friend who had done so much for him, who would do so much more if he said even just a word.
It didn't start this way; when he first met him, he saw a friend, someone who was kind and willing to help him. But now when he looked at him, he could only think of his own failures, how he could never be him.
He was perfect, everything he was not. He could do it all, do everything he could not. Time after time he would watch him do it, the impossible, the unthinkable, all like it was his purpose to mock him.
He shouldn't think like this; it was disgusting, selfish, and atrocious, but he couldn't help it. How else was one to react when they saw someone have everything they wanted? He had all the skill and charm which would solve all the problems he had and that would save all the trouble he never would have wished to face.
Right now in front of him, he was watching as he did the impossible yet again, assembling what he wanted without even breaking a sweat. As if the world adored him.
The man who felt such strong emotions of jealousy, who was bathing in a sin, was none other than the brilliant Sword Saint, Reinhard.
Yes, Reinhard. The Reinhard. The one whose very existence serves to trample on the strength of others was jealous. Of whom, you ask? Of The Hero, Natsuki Subaru.
How could he not be jealous? Subaru was able to do what Reinhard lacked; he had done what was Reinhard's duty to do. He had taken what was Reinhard's, and he couldn't even blame him for it.
Reinhard remembers the first time he heard how Subaru had conquered what Reinhard couldn't. Then, to put forth greater shame, he had done it again. He had done even more than the last time he had seen him.
Had he not had enough? How gluttonous was he to go for more? But deep inside, Reinhard knew that Subaru was innocent and had done nothing to invoke such feelings. It was Reinhard's own sin that called upon such rude remarks.
But he wasn't the only one to feel this; even Julius was envious of Subaru's talents.
He stared at Subaru as he was flocked by the love that Reinhard wished for.
He had tried to replicate it, but it never landed; he didn't even get a touch in. He was denied what Subaru was permitted.
Maybe this is why even esteemed Grandfather favors you over me.
It was surely because Subaru could attract what they could not.
His blue eyes watched the scene unfold before him. His heart clenching as if a hand was grabbing it, yet his face calm as if the inner turmoil didn't even exist. His divine protections were working well to keep him at bay, working well to not show others the green monster inside him.
So he stared diligently as the black-haired knight he was thinking about approached his liege with a bright smile that would surely do what it always did.
"Yo Felt, been a while, so what have you been up to?"
"Nothing much, big bro, just a bit annoyed I had to show up here, but I guess I get to see you, so it's fine." Replied back the blonde candidate with content.
Subaru's smile grew as he closed one eye and gave a smirk to the smaller girl in front of him. "Aww, didn't know you missed me so much, little sis." He put a hand to the girl's head and gave her his signature head pats, causing the girl to grow flustered.
"Hey, stop that!" She barked with her crimson eyes matching with the new hue of her skin.
Hmph, Betty's Subaru shouldn't be going around giving what's Betty's to others, especially those who don't appreciate it, in fact." The girl with blonde drill hairs beside him tugged his sleeve with bitterness.
To her side was another little girl, this time with blue hair and a teasing smile. "Leave it Beako~, you know Oni-chan is shameless, and can;t control himself around little girls.~" Meili jabbed at him.
"Hey, don't say it like that!!! You're making me look like a real shady guy."
His yelling earned a pout from a brown-haired maid that watched the play unfold. "Subaru-sama, you are a knight; you shouldn't do that sort of stuff with other girls."
"Not you, too, Petra!" He expressed his horror at being portrayed in a bad light by another.
He saw his fiery lady, who would never bow down to anyone, yield under his touch.
He saw a Great Spirit, who is said to have rejected many for 400 years, vying for his attention.
He saw an assassin who was raised to kill and mask her real self be at ease and laugh around him.
He saw a simple maid, a village girl, have a look of pure determination guided by the love she had for him.
He saw them gather around Subaru, as if he were some magnet.
And he felt envy.
For he knew no matter how much he wanted, he could never be him.
He could never be the Lolimancer.
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Mini Extra
Od Laguna: Ah Reinhard, my ever favorite child, what is it you wish for? What Divine Protection shall I grant you this time?
Reinhard: I humbly ask you for the Divine Protection of... Lolimancing.
Od Laguna: ... Uh the what?
Reinhard: You know the Divine protection to charm lolis. I wish to use it to get along with Felt-sama.
Od Laguna: Yeah no such thing exists I'm sorry.
Reinhard: What it's not a blessing! Then how does Subaru do it?
Od Laguna: Oh that shitty sage, yeah that's just raw talent, don't know how he does it, but he's been at it for a while. Guess he's just built different.
For the first time in his life, Reinhard, the Sword Saint, the strongest being in the whole world, had suffered true defeat.
...
Reinhard: Wait did he say sage???