Chapter Text
Sakuragi Miharu was the most beautiful girl in Akebono Girl’s Academy.
Many say that beauty is subjective. Something that cannot be objectively measured. Those people have never met Sakuragi Miharu.
Despite the semester only having started a month ago, first-year Sakuragi Miharu had already found herself at the top of the school’s popularity rankings. Of course, this came with its downsides. When you’re seen as being the top of any category—beauty, athletics, grades—there’s a certain untouchable aura that surrounds you. People stop seeing you as being a person with complex thoughts and emotions, and start to see you as being a flawless, perfect being. There’s a certain loneliness that comes with being seen as perfect. Those who see themselves as being lesser tend to avoid you entirely, while those who look up to you put you on a pedestal where you can do no wrong. In a school environment, this is amplified tenfold, where rigid social structures punish anyone who dares to go outside the norm. Being viewed as ‘the best’ at your school guaranteed that most of the student body would form some kind of parasocial relationship with you, be it good or bad.
Miharu loved every bit of being thought of as the most beautiful girl in Akebono. To her, anything less was unthinkable.
Her walk to school was one that she did alone as she lived opposite to the rest of her friends, but she didn’t mind. To Miharu, it was the perfect time to prepare herself for the day ahead of her. To become the Sakuragi Miharu that everyone idolized.
As she got closer to school, the voices of her fellow students replaced the morning bird calls with an even sweeter song.
“That’s Sakuragi, right?”
“I can’t believe I get to see her this morning!”
“She’s even prettier in person…”
Miharu couldn’t help but smile as she overheard the words of her adoring fans.
As she walked through the entrance of Akebono, the comments surrounding her grew in number. Whenever she was around, the topic of discussion seemed to always shift to being about her. Of course, no one would try and talk to her directly out of the blue. Doing that was a guaranteed way to become ostracized by the entire student body. Miharu was the Akebono’s untouchable beauty, and no one wanted to disrupt that fact.
However, that didn’t mean that no one tried to get closer to Miharu. As Miharu opened up her shoe locker, she found a white envelope stuck between her indoor shoes. She already knew what this was—a love letter. Without giving it a second thought, she tossed it into her school bag before changing her shoes. The love letters were an almost weekly occurrence for her at this point, and rejecting whoever sent them became a subconscious task for her. Still, Miharu enjoyed receiving them. It was a reminder of her place within the school. That her looks alone would make her get hopeless love confessions from girls that she’s never met before. If they stopped, Miharu knew she would miss seeing them.
Miharu walked down the hallway of the first floor, stopping in front of the door to her classroom, looking up at the sign denoting which class it was. 1-1. She had always wondered if putting her in this class was intentional, given that it had most of the popular first years in it. She walked through the open door, ignoring the gazes of everyone as she found her desk close by. Seating was assigned, but Miharu was never able to make sense of how it was done. If it was done by family name, like how it was in her junior high school, then she would have been assigned a desk in the middle of the classroom. Instead, she was against the wall closest to the door, but still in the middle row. Walking up to her seat, she saw that her small friend group was already waiting for her.
“Miharu! What took you so long?” said a black-haired girl. It was Momose Kaede, Miharu’s best friend since elementary school. Miharu smiled when she heard her voice. Kaede always made sure that she was the one to first talk to Miharu at school. It was a level of devotion that she found endearing.
Miharu let out a sigh as she set her bag down on her desk, pulling out the white envelope she picked out of her locker earlier.
Kaede’s face turned pink when she realized what it was. “Another one!? You’re going to turn them down, right?”
“I don’t know, what if it ends up being from the one I’m destined to be with~”
“Sakuragi, you still should consider her feelings in earnest.” Miharu turned to look at the blonde girl that the voice belonged to. Of course, it was none other than the Princess of Akebono, Takahashi Elise. Miharu had always wondered if she got love letters as well. If she did, she never spoke of them.
“Ehh, it’s probably just another straight girl wanting to ‘experiment’ with me,” Miharu said as she took her seat. “Remember last week? That girl just thought that since I’m a lesbian that she could use me to help her figure out if she liked girls or not.”
“Straight girls truly are a dying breed. Soon there’s only going to be a few of us left…” said a tomboyish girl with short, choppy pink hair. Shimuzu Hibiki towered over the rest of the girls, being the tallest in their class by far. She faked wiping a tear from her face.
“Wait, Hibiki, don’t tell me that…” Miharu gave her a concerned look, which Hibiki laughed off.
“Miharu, you do remember I’m on the volleyball team, right? I’m pretty sure that being gay is a requirement to join,” she joked. “So, are you going to open it?” Hibiki pointed to the letter in Miharu’s hands.
“I—“
Just as Miharu had started to pull at the seal, the school bell rang. She shoved the letter back into her bag, crumpling it slightly. Miharu paid it no mind. She never kept any of the love letters she got anyway.
“During lunch then?” Hibiki said as she sat down in the seat next to her.
“Yeah.”
Miharu looked up at Kaede, who was still lingering by her desk despite her assigned seat being on the other side of the classroom. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could get the words out, Kaede gave her a smile and headed over to her desk.
Miharu watched as their homeroom teacher, Reiko-sensei, started to address the class. Her family name was Fujimoto, but on their first day, she insisted on them all calling her Reiko instead, so Reiko-sensei it was. Halfway through calling out roll, a girl walked in through the door at the front of the classroom. Her silver hair shone as it caught the morning light coming in through the window on the other side of the classroom. Miharu thought that in another school, the girl would be considered rather cute, but her quiet delinquent attitude here wasn’t doing her any favors. Reiko-sensei paid no attention to her as she walked along the edge of the room, taking her seat in the back row behind Miharu.
“Has that girl ever come in on time?” Hibiki asked Miharu in a whisper.
Miharu didn’t respond. She had more important things to focus on that weren’t the lives of delinquent girls.
Miharu and her friends always sat together at lunch with desks pushed together around Miharu’s seat. Since Hibiki and Miharu sat next to each other, centering them around Miharu made the most sense. There was an unspoken agreement that Miharu shouldn’t have to move for lunch, but none of them would ever say it out loud.
While the other girls were sitting down, Miharu took out her bento box from her school bag and set it down on her desk. When she opened it, she found a small note left for her by her sister, Akane, on top of the rice. Miharu felt her cheeks flush as she started to read it.
Have a good day at school, Miharun! I made this one with extra love in it! ♥ - Akane
“Woah… That feels illegal to have,” Hibiki said as she looked over Miharu’s shoulder at the note Akane left her.
“It’s just a note from Akane, don’t look so excited about it…” Miharu carefully slid the note into a pocket in her bag, filled with every note that Akane had left her since she started school.
“I had no idea she was such a siscon! I’m jealous…” Hibiki turned to Kaede, who was just starting to unpack her own bento. “Kaede, don’t you think that the bond between sisters is just the most wonderful thing in the world?”
Kaede nearly spilled the contents of her bento box onto the desk when she heard Hibiki’s question. “O-Of course not! After all, being on good terms with your sister is expected when you live with her for your entire childhood. The bond between close friends is so much better, because in a way, you’re forced to be with your sister, but you get to pick your own friends. So the bond between friends is much, much better!”
A few seconds passed without anyone saying a word. The entire classroom was still after Kaede’s passionate speech. She slouched in her chair as she tried to hide her face from the staring eyes of the girls around her. “T-That’s what I think, at least…”
“Never change, Kaede,” Miharu said, reaching out to give her best friend a pat on the head. Kaede instantly perked up, smiling back at her.
Miharu picked up her chopsticks, reaching for the rolled omelet before Hibiki interrupted her. “Hey, aren't you going to read that love letter you got?” she asked with her mouth full of food.
“Shimuzu…” Elise glared at Hibiki, evidently upset with her lack of manners. Miharu couldn’t help but chuckle at the scene playing out in front of her. That’s our princess for you.
Miharu set her chopsticks back down and pulled out the crumpled envelope from her bag. She started to open it up and pulled out the letter, rubbing it between her index finger and thumb. “Just a single page,” she said, disappointed.
“Even if she had no chance of ever being with you, she should at least put effort into it!” Kaede pouted at the letter, as if its writer could somehow tell how she felt.
Miharu quickly scanned the letter before setting it down in-between the desks the four girls were sitting at. “You can read it if you like. It’s nothing special. I’m a bit let down, actually. She didn’t even confess in the letter, just a vague ‘meet me on the rooftop after school’.” Miharu was much more excited to start to eat her bento that Akane put so much effort into preparing.
As soon as she had the chance, Kaede grabbed the letter and started to read it. It only took her a few seconds, given how short it was, but once she got to the end, her eyes went wide. “Watanabe Mei!?” The other girls looked up at her, confused at the significance of that name. “She’s a second-year in the student council…”
“A second-year, huh?” Hibiki glanced over at Elise, realizing she had spoken while still chewing. She waited a moment to finish before continuing. “Is the dating pool for them that bad? It’s only been a month, and they’re already asking out first-years.”
“She asked out Miharu, not any first-year,” Kaede told Hibiki sternly. “Miharu’s beauty transcends the boundaries between first and second years.”
“I guess you’re right about that.” Hibiki took the letter from Kaede, glancing at it before handing it to Elise. “So, what are you going to do? Think this mysterious second-year girl could be ‘the one’ for you?”
Not wanting to draw Elise’s ire, Miharu waited to finish the last bit of her rolled omelet before responding. “I guess I’ll see her after school… These love letters are nothing more than an annoyance now. The first few were cute, but do these girls honestly think that the tenth or so love letter is going to be the one that gets me to fall in love?” She glanced over at Kaede, who was listening intently. “Like, at least try to get to know me before confessing your supposed love.”
“But you don’t want them to stop, right?” Miharu turned her attention to Elise, who was wiping the corners of her lips with a napkin.
“Well… It does feel nice to get them, even with how shallow this one is.”
“You have a real conundrum on your hands, Sakuragi.”
“I guess I do.”
Miharu hesitated in front of the door leading to the rooftop. She had found out from Kaede that the lock for the door had been broken for years, and that there was an agreement not to tell any of the teachers about it. Miharu felt that the story seemed a bit untrue. Surely some member of the staff at the school would have found out by now. She took a deep breath as she grabbed the door handle. Would the girl who wanted to meet with her already be waiting? What was her name again? Miharu reached her hand into the pocket of her sailor uniform—an underrated perk of Akebono in her eyes—and pulled out the letter. Watanabe Mei. She repeated the name in her head a few times before folding the letter back up. Without hesitation this time, she pushed down on the door handle and opened it. Her wavy brown hair swayed in the spring breeze as she stepped onto the roof.
Miharu looked around, trying to see if she could find someone who looked vaguely like a second-year on the roof, but it was to no avail. Instead, what she found was much more alarming.
There was a girl with silver hair and the same white striped sailor uniform that Miharu wore, sitting on top of the fence that bordered the roof, facing the courtyard below. She seemed familiar to Miharu, but she wasn’t able to place where she had seen her before. Miharu’s legs were shaking and her heart was pounding as she started to walk closer to where the girl was. Miharu had started to wonder if this was all some cruel prank being played on her. She thought about asking the girl, but what if it wasn’t? Miharu felt her stomach tightening. She didn’t want to be the one making any wrong moves.
“H-Hey!” Miharu called out. “You… You should get down from there!” She cringed at the words coming out of her mouth.
The girl sitting on the fence turned around and made eye contact with Miharu, who was only a few meters away from her. The sun shined on her face just enough to show her gray eyes, and Miharu immediately realized where she recognized her from.
She was the delinquent girl from Miharu’s class.
The girl didn’t say a word in response to Miharu. All she did was stare at her, as if to wait to see what Miharu did next.
“Um… I’m Sakuragi Miharu! We’re in the same class… Are you okay?” Miharu’s voice was shaking as she tried to talk to the girl.
“So annoying,” the girl said before she turned to face the other way. Before Miharu could say anything, she pushed herself off the roof.
Miharu wanted to run over, to try and find some way to save her even though she knew that she couldn’t, but she was physically unable to. On that rooftop, she was frozen, and all she could do was watch. She was no stranger to death. She had experienced it growing up with some of her relatives, but it was nothing like this. Miharu felt like she was going to be sick.
Against her best judgment, she slowly started to walk forward. Maybe she caught herself on an open window and needed help getting back inside? Miharu grabbed at the fence for balance, feeling faint as she looked out at the horizon. She held her breath, preparing to want to lose her lunch as she looked down—and saw nothing.
Miharu couldn’t tell if this was worse or better than what she was imagining. She had at least expected to see some sort of figure in the courtyard. Someone completely disappearing wasn’t something that actually happened. So why didn’t she see anything in the courtyard below? Why was the track club still running laps like nothing had happened? They had to have heard something, right?
Before Miharu had time to think about it further, she heard the door to the rooftop open. She turned to look behind her, and a girl wearing a silver-striped sailor uniform came out onto the roof. Of course the second-years had to have silver stripes. Miharu wanted to throw up. Everything about this made her sick.
“Sakuragi!” The second year, who Miharu assumed was Watanabe, called out to her. Miharu was unable to say anything in response. The girl walked closer, and Miharu saw her lips moving, but if she was saying anything, it was completely unintelligible to her. All that Miharu could think about was the girl from her class, who she just watched die. If she had been a few minutes earlier, would things have been different? Could she have gotten there before that girl, making her not want to jump? What if she hadn’t hesitated at the door? Would that have been enough time to save her?
What if Miharu was the reason that she died?
Instead of trying to reason about what she saw happen, all Miharu did was make herself feel even worse. All while some hopeless second year was confessing her love. “I feel like I’m going to vomit…” Miharu said under her breath.
She looked up and saw Watanabe, her mouth wide open and tears rolling down her cheeks. It was obvious that she had heard her. Normally, Miharu would have tried to clear up what was an obvious misunderstanding, but she didn’t even have the energy to do that. “I’m sorry, Sakuragi…” Watanabe gave her a bow before running back to the rooftop door, the sounds of sobbing growing distant with every step that she took.
Miharu turned back to look over the courtyard, watching the track club as they continued to run laps around the school. The school had to make an announcement about it. They’ll make an announcement tomorrow, and everything will be back to normal.
That night, Miharu could barely touch her dinner. She felt bad about not eating given that cooking was one of Akane’s hobbies, but she felt that anything she tried to eat would find its way back up. She looked up from her plate at her sister, who looked worried.
“Miharun, was everything okay at school?” Akane asked.
Miharu briefly considered telling her the entire truth. About what she saw with the girl from her class. About her suicide. About how she disappeared. But Miharu decided against it. Even though she was free from the rigid social structures of Akebono at home, that didn’t stop Akane from thinking that she had lost it. Instead, she opted to tell her a partial truth. “I had a second-year confess to me today.”
“A second-year!?” Miharu thought that Akane sounded like Kaede, and couldn’t help but smile. “What is a second year doing confessing to my Miharun?”
“Careful, Akane. Hibiki already said you were a siscon for that note you left in my bento today. Don’t need to be giving her any more to go off of.”
“Hibiki said that about that little note?” Akane took her glasses off and held her head in her hands. “Kids these days…”
“You’re only six years older than us…”
Akane put her glasses back on, her exaggerated performance coming to a close. “How is Hibiki, anyways? You haven’t had her over in a while. Everything alright between you two?”
“She’s the same as ever. I think her volleyball practices have been getting more intense, so she’s had less time outside of school.” Miharu picked up a piece of the teriyaki chicken that Akane made with her chopsticks. “I should probably check one of her practices out someday. Not like I have much to do after school,” she said, dropping the chicken into her mouth.
“I think she’d like that,” Akane said, a smile forming across her lips. “Is she… dating anyone?”
Miharu finished chewing before she spoke, trying to make it more of an unconscious habit. “She isn’t, and before you suggest that I ask her out, she likes Elise.”
“I wasn’t going to, but really? Elise?”
“It’s so obvious, I really have no idea how Elise hasn’t figured it out yet. I’m pretty sure that even Kaede knows.”
“Oh Kaede…” Akane trailed off as she attacked the last piece of chicken on her plate. “Now if I was going to make a suggestion, then—”
“I know, I know. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that before, and not just from you.” Miharu stared down at her plate, not feeling eating past the one bite of chicken that she had. “I just… I’ve never seen her in that way.”
“I understand,” Akane said. She held up her last piece of teriyaki chicken, having won in her battle with an inanimate object. “I just don’t want you getting hurt by someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are.”
“I wouldn’t settle for anything else,” Miharu said with a smile as she stood up from her seat. Akane looked over at the plate that Miharu had left mostly untouched. “Are you still hungry?”
“No, I’m fine. I was just going to say that I can put your leftovers away for you.” Akane stood up and walked over to Miharu. She paused for a moment before giving her a pat on the head, rustling her hair.
“H-Hey! What are you doing?”
“Just felt like it!” Akane chuckled. “Make sure you get good sleep, okay?”
Miharu blushed slightly. “Akane… I’m not 12 anymore…”
“I know, I know. But you’ll always be my little sister to me, Miharun.”
Miharu gave her Akane a quick hug before turning to head to her bedroom upstairs. As she started to walk up, she turned around to see Akane putting the leftovers from dinner away. The two of them locked eyes, and Akane smiled at her. “Goodnight, Akane.” Miharu said softly, but loud enough so her sister could hear her.
“Sleep well!”
As Miharu walked up the stairs, her mind went back to what happened on the rooftop earlier that day. She couldn’t stop replaying it in her head as she continuously found ways to blame herself for what happened. She knew that she wasn’t going to barely get any sleep tonight. All that she hoped for was that tomorrow, this would all go away.
Miharu waved goodbye to Akane as she started her walk to school. She had barely gotten any sleep last night, as expected, but this morning her mind was more focused on dinner rather than what had happened yesterday. Akane told her that she was going to be busy tonight with a photo shoot in Shibuya—she did modeling for a job, mostly for teen magazines—and that there were leftovers in the fridge. Miharu didn’t get a chance to check the fridge before Akane handed her bento box, so she was left to wonder if last night’s leftovers were going to be for lunch or dinner. Would both be a possibility?
Her walk to school was fairly ordinary. Miharu couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety coil up inside her. She had expected that she would overhear at least a few girls talking about what Miharu saw firsthand yesterday, but all she could hear were the normal remarks about how beautiful she was. At least that’s still normal.
She figured that the school probably didn’t send out a message to any of the parents either. Miharu knew that Akane wouldn’t have brought it up on her own, knowing the state that she was in last night, but the lack of any gossip at the shoe lockers all but confirmed it for her. Miharu let out a sigh of relief upon seeing that her indoor shoes were all that was in her locker. No worrying about love letters today.
Once Miharu got to her classroom, she saw her friends by her desk as usual. As she got closer, she noticed the huge smile on Kaede’s face. “You’re in a good mood today,” she told her as she took her seat.
“Watanabe came to the student council in tears!” Kaede said cheerfully.
Shit. Miharu had forgotten all about how she left the second-year after her confession.
“Woah, really? You’re ruthless,” Hibiki said, adding to Kaede’s excitement.
Miharu turned to Elise, expecting to be scolded, but she was already moving to take her seat on the other side of the classroom. Before Miharu could explain herself, the morning bell started to ring throughout the school. “I’ll explain everything later, it’s all just a big misunderstanding.” Miharu watched as Kaede hummed on her way back to her seat. Whatever she was so happy about was a complete mystery to her.
Just as the teacher started to call roll, a girl came into the classroom through the door in front of Miharu. Her silver hair seemed familiar, and as she started to walk to her seat, the two of them locked eyes. Miharu felt like she was going to faint. She would recognize those gray eyes staring back at her from anywhere.
As the girl took her seat, Miharu finally put the pieces together.
Sitting two rows behind her was the quiet delinquent of Class 1-1.
The girl who Miharu saw die yesterday.