Chapter Text
I slump in my chair, staring at the message on my laptop. It was just supposed to be routine lab tests. But those silly little tests turned my whole world upside down. Well, maybe I shouldn’t blame the tests. I would have found out without them, eventually. They were simply the harbingers.
I knew things had been going too well. Sylus and I have been “officially” dating for a few months, and I’ve been pretty happy. I think he’s been happy, too. But now I’ve ruined things. Because the lab tests told me that I’m pregnant. About 9 weeks. I’ve always had irregular cycles, so I hadn’t thought anything of missing a few periods. But I feel very foolish right now.
All I can think about is if he’ll be mad.
I must have messed up my birth control. It has been really hard to manage my pills lately.
He’s going to be mad isn’t he?
It’s not like we’ve talked about this in any way. Would he even want to have a child? He doesn’t exactly seem the type.
Tears blur my vision. It’s not until I hear gentle knocking on my open door that I realize I’ve been sobbing.
“Wy? What’s wrong?” My roommate, Blaise, asks. I turn to him. After a moment’s pause, I rush to him and bury my head into his chest, weeping. He pats my back to soothe me.
“Let’s sit down, okay?” He leads me to my bed, and we both sit on it. I take a deep breath and try to steady myself. He speaks again. “Do you want to talk about it?” I nod my head, but before I can get any words out I start crying again.
“Is it related to Sylus?” he asks. I’ve mostly told him the truth about who Sylus is and about our relationship. I nod.
“Did he hurt you?” Blaise asks, and I shake my head. Blaise pauses, and I wonder if he has guessed what’s up.
“Are you pregnant?” Yes, yes he did guess what is happening. I shakily nod. Blaise hugs me again.
“It’s okay, everything is gonna be okay.” Blaise consoles me. I rub at my wet eyes.
“I’m just afraid he’ll be mad,” I confess. Blaise furrows his brow.
“Well, I can’t say for sure how he will react, but I know that he cares about you. I think he would be more upset if you don’t tell him what’s going on. But, I think you should take the time you need to center yourself and think about what you’re gonna do.” I nod, and Blaise pats my back.
***
Before I know it, a week goes by. Time feels both excruciating slow but also so quick as I distract myself with work and crafts at home. With extraordinary effort, I avoid talking to Sylus as much as possible. It’s easy for the first half of the week; he’s on a work trip doing something I don’t ask about.
The hard part starts on Thursday morning when I check my phone after waking up. There’s a missed call from Sylus from 11:30pm; I’d been so tired from everything going on that I’d gone to bed extra early. I go to open the messages he sent me, but then I hesitate. If I open the messages now, they’ll be marked as read, and he’ll be worried or suspicious if I don’t respond right away. But, maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll have already gone to sleep for the day. It’s 8am, and he is asleep by then at times.
I bite the bullet and open the messages.
11:35pm
Sylus: I’m home
Sylus: Are you asleep?
1:26am
Sylus: What do you want to do this weekend?
Sylus: You can come over here if you want.
1:44am
Sylus: Or I can come over to your place.
I click my tongue. I’m not good at lying in person; he’d know something is up as soon as he saw me. What excuse can I give him that he’ll actually buy?
I can’t think of anything, so I decide to stall.
8:07am
Wy: Welcome home!
Wy: Let me think about it
Hoping he’s asleep, I set my phone down on the nightstand and go take a shower. I linger in the shower, letting the water wash over me. I catch myself rubbing my abdomen. My thoughts have been going in circles for days. Even putting aside the Sylus question, do I want to have a baby? It was early enough that I could still have an abortion. I don’t think Sylus would argue with me either if that’s what I wanted. But… I might want it? I know I love him, and that he loves me. I do want to be with him.
But he lives a dangerous life. Even if he wants to be with me long-term, would I want to bring a child into that world? Would he?
The thoughts weigh heavy over me, as if the steam from the shower is a stormcloud.
When I return to my room, I avoid checking my phone until I’m done getting dressed. Sure enough, there’s a message waiting.
8:09am
Sylus: Do you have something planned already?
8:36am
Wy: Not exactly. I just have a sewing project that has been on the backburner because of work. I sort of want to finish it.
8:37am
Sylus: I can help
Sylus: What are you making?
Damn, what am I supposed to say to that? I try to make a response that’s both a joke and an excuse.
8:41am
Wy: Your only use for sewing is as a pincushion. Is that really what you want?
8:42am
Sylus: I’m great at stitching
8:43am
Wy: Flesh and fabric are totally different
8:44am
Sylus: I can’t even come watch? I’ll bring your snacks
8:47am
Wy: You’ll just distract me. And be bored.
8:48am
Sylus: Being with you isn’t boring
My phone starts vibrating. It’s a call from Sylus. I start to panic a little before instinctively hanging up on him. Shit, what do I say?
8:51am
Wy: Sorry, I gotta go
I desperately latch on to this excuse, and start to get ready to leave. It’s still early, but I now I have time to stop for breakfast before work.
8:55am
Sylus: Call me later
Sylus: Also you didn’t tell me what you’re making
Sylus: More plushies?
***
Sylus frowns at his phone. He’d been disappointed when Wy hadn’t picked up the phone last night, but he figured they’d been asleep. He’d been getting ready to go to bed himself when Wy finally responded to his message, but their response was strange. He can’t figure out what’s going on in Wy’s head.
Is something bothering them? Had he done something wrong? Did something bad happen to them?
When it came to Wy, he couldn’t help but worry. They are strong in many ways, but Wy is soft in a sharp world. He does everything he can to protect them without stifling them. But what can he do when the person he loves won’t tell him what’s wrong?
“Mephisto,” he beckons, and the mechanical crow flies to perch on the arm of his chair.
“Go keep an eye on Wy, okay? I want to know if something is wrong.” The bird nods before taking off through the open window. Sylus leans back in his chair, thinking.
***
I clumsily navigate Sylus’s messages and calls for the next two days. It’s not unusual for Mephisto to stop by once or twice a day, but I notice him lurking while I’m both at work and at home. I need to figure out how I’m going to tell Sylus, and what I want to do.
Also, I need to figure out what my sewing project actually is. And actually do it. In my desperation, I fall back on an old favorite, Princess Zelda’s gown from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Not the most original cosplay, but something I like.
Which is how Blaise and I find ourselves at the fabric store at 10am on Saturday morning. As a nurse with odd proportions, Blaise likes to sew his own scrubs, so he joins in on my sewing party. Despite my worries, I have a lot of fun picking out fabric, including some shimmering pink fabric. I don’t hear my phone ding, and only at the checkout do I see the notification on my phone that Sylus has sent me money. More than enough to cover the fabric. I groan. Mephisto must have tattled on me. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, and I like his gifts, but I don’t want him to think that he needs to give me gifts.
We’re getting ready to leave the store when the pain hits. I stop, leaning against the wall. After a few strides, Blaise realizes that I’m not beside him anymore and turns around. My insides grind and clench, and I see Blaise’s face pale.
“Wy, you’re bleeding,” he says. I look down, and see my pelvis and thighs covered in red. Blaise runs to me, and wraps an arm around my waist, steadying me.
“We’re going to the hospital,” he says. I let him lead me to the car, and he gets me into the passenger seat. I don’t realize Mephisto is there, sitting on the rearview mirror, until Blaise starts talking to him.
“Go get your master,” he tells Mephisto. “Tell him to meet us at Akso hospital.” Mephisto flies off, and Blaise gets in the car and starts driving.
“I’m sorry,” I blubber, “I’m bleeding on your car seat.”
“I’m a nurse,” Blaise responds, his voice even. “Some blood doesn’t bother me.”
“Am I…” My head hurts as I try to organize my thoughts. “Am I having a miscarriage?”
“I think so,” Blaise says, “but we’ll need to get the hospital to be sure.”
“Am I gonna die?” I ask. Blaise pats my knee.
“Everything is gonna be okay,” he says.
I fade in and out of consciousness as we drive and arrive at the hospital.
***
When I wake up, I am laying in a hospital bed, and Sylus is sitting in a chair next to the bed. He’s wearing his reading glasses and reading a book. I lean forward to peer at the cover, my vision blurry without my glasses. He looks up, and our eyes meet. In my foggy brain, the title of the book captivates my attention.
“Wha’cha weading?” I slur, my tongue heavy. He holds the book out to me. It’s The Secret History of the Mongol Queens: How the Daughters of Genghis Khan Rescued His Empire by Jack Weatherford.
“You told me about it a while ago,” he says. I nod my head.
“Iz good…” I say, leaning back on the bed.
“How are you feeling?” Sylus asks.
“Sleepy…” I say, as drowsiness overtakes me.
“Then sleep, darling,” he says. He reaches out and grasps my hand. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” I try to hold onto wakefulness for a few more moments, because I remember what I need to ask him.
“Sylus…” I murmur, “Are you mad?” In the moments when he pauses, my heart squeezes.
“No,” he finally says. “I’m not mad.” I let out my breath, and let myself slide into sleep.
***
A few hours earlier
Sylus is just drifting into sleep when he receives Mephisto’s SOS signal. His phone blares a nuclear alarm, and he bolts up and grabs it.
11:17am
Mephisto: Emergency! Wy has a medical emergency! Bleeding! Blaise taking to Akso hospital. Sylus needs to come!
The message is accompanied by a video clip of Blaise helping Wy into the car and telling Mephisto to fetch Sylus. Sylus takes a moment to study the video. Mephisto doesn’t mention any attackers and he doesn’t see any. Wy’s pelvis and thighs are wet with blood, but he doesn’t see any obvious wounds, so it must be some kind of illness or internal problem. He quickly throws on his riding clothes and runs to the garage to get a motorcycle.
He ignores all speed limits, but it still takes him longer than he’d like to get from the N109 zone to Akso hospital. When he inquires at the desk, they direct him to a room in the intermediate care unit. He walks as fast as he can without breaking into a run.
When he enters the room, he sees Wy hooked up to an IV and a blood transfusion.
“What happened?” He asks Blaise. When he flinches slightly, Sylus leans back slightly and tries to tone down his intimidating aura. Blaise doesn’t meet his eyes for a few moments, then sighs.
“Wy should really be the one to tell you this, but… it’s probably best to just tell you now.”
“Well?” Sylus says, impatiently.
“Wy was pregnant, and had a miscarriage.” Silence stretches between them. A million thoughts swirl in Sylus’s head. How far along had they been? Is this why they had been acting strange? Why hadn’t they told him earlier?
“It’s probably best for you to discuss the rest with Wy,” Blaise says. Sylus nods. “I’m gonna go home and change, and get some food. I assume you’re good with staying with them for now?” For the first time, Sylus notices that Blaise has blood all over him.
“Of course,” Sylus says. “I’ll let you know when they wake up.” Blaise nods and walks out. Sylus sits down in the chair and pulls out his phone. He texts Luke and Kieran the basics of the situation, and gives them a list of things to bring, including a change of clothes for Wy and the favorite of their plushies that live at the Onychinus base. He gently takes their hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it.