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Syd never thought she’d find herself holding a gun.
It wasn’t even heavy, not like the ones in action films. This one was old, scratched, half-rusted, and probably jammed more often than it fired. But in her trembling hands, it weighed as much as all the years she had dreamed of college, all the days she spent staring at brochures she couldn’t afford.
Education was treasure. Everyone said so. Teachers, neighbors, even her mother who ironed clothes until her wrists ached. “Anak, makakapag-college ka rin.” But when the lists of accepted students came out, and her name wasn’t there, when every scholarship turned her down with polite form letters, what else was she supposed to do?
“’Wag ka nang maarte,” Calix, her friend, had told her that night in the back of a dingy carinderia. “Kung gusto mo ng pang-tuition, join ka sa tropa. Madali lang ‘to. Holdap-holdap lang. Tapos ka na agad.”
Syd laughed in her friend’s face. "Boang ka ba? Ako? Holdaper?”
But laughter didn’t buy her books. And three weeks later, she was standing in a cramped basketball court turned hideout, surrounded by five strangers who called themselves a “crew,” holding the gun that would apparently change her life.
“Unang rule,” said Kuya Rey, the leader with a scar under his left eye, “confident ka dapat. Kung nanginginig ka, mahahalata agad. Talo ka.”
Syd swallowed. She was already shaking.
“Pangalawa,” another guy chimed in, twirling a balisong like it was a toy, “dapat mabilis. One, two, grab. Para hindi maka-react. Gets?”
“Gets…” Syd muttered, though nothing made sense.
“Practice tayo,” Kuya Rey barked. He shoved a plastic toy gun into her hands. “O, imaginein mo, holdaper ka. Ako ’yung biktima.” He puffed out his chest, mock-acting like a rich man with a bag.
Syd inhaled deeply. Then she walked up to him, tapped his shoulder, and whispered, “Excuse me po, holdaper to.”
The entire crew burst out laughing.
“Tanga, holdap ba ’yan o nanlilimos?”
“Excuse me po?!”
“Baka magbigay pa siya ng barya!”
Her face burned, but she couldn’t help but laugh too. Her laughter had always been shallow, ready to spill even at her own humiliation.
"Eh kasi po dapat hindi masyadong makakakuha ng atensyon ng iba, diba? Baka may tumawag ng pulis" she reasoned out.
“Isa pa!” Kuya Rey barked, but he was smiling now. “Dapat intimidating. Dapat parang demonyo.”
She tried again. This time she puffed her chest, planted her feet wide, shoved the toy gun against his side, and declared, louder this time, “Holdap to! Wag kang kikilos ng masama!”
“Yan!” Kuya Rey cheered. “Pwede na. Medyo katawa-tawa pa rin, pero pwede na.”
They drilled her for hours on how to shout, how to grab, how to run. Syd failed every mock run. She tripped on her own shoelaces. She accidentally dropped the gun once and yelped when it clattered too loud. Still, she didn’t quit.
Because quitting meant no tuition.
Night had fallen when she was finally sent out. Her first solo.
The alley smelled of damp cement and old garbage. Syd’s palms sweated around the gun as she forced herself to breathe steadily. Kaya mo ’to. Isang bag lang. Para sa tuition.
Then she saw her.
A woman walking alone. Dressed in a cream blouse tucked into slacks, tiny shoulder bag dangling from her arm. Her earrings caught the dim light of a broken lamppost. She walked carefully, like someone not used to dark alleys, like someone rich who’d gotten lost.
Perfect target.
Syd’s stomach twisted. She raised the gun with trembling hands and closed the distance. Slowly. Carefully. She touched the woman’s shoulder making them both shout and flinch,
"Ahh!"
“Ay Bilat! to, wag kang kikilos ng masama—
ay, holdap pala to, wag ka kikilos ng masama!”
The woman gasped. Then without thinking, she bolted.
But only for two steps.
Because her heel caught on a crack in the pavement, and she pitched forward with a yelp, sprawling face-first onto the cement.
Syd froze. Then, despite every instinct screaming at her to stay serious, she burst out laughing.
“HAHAHAHA ano ba yan, sorry HAHAHA! Ate! Grabe ka, nag-sprint agad tapos—HAHAHAHA!”
The woman groaned, clutching her elbow. “Ano ba! Bakit ka tumatawa?!”
“I’m sorry! Hindi ko kaya—HAHAHA! Ay Hala! May dugo!” Syd doubled over, laughter died down the alley. The gun dangled uselessly in her hand as she slowly approach her supposed victim in worry.
The woman turned her head, eyes wide, finally noticing that Syd wasn’t some hardened criminal. Just a girl with an awkward grin, laughing and caring like an idiot.
“You’re not… serious, are you?” she asked cautiously in English, dusting off her blouse.
Syd caught her breath, wiped her eyes and pull out a handkerchief from her pocket “Serious na sana! First holdap ko pa naman! Pero—” She paused as her full focus was entirely on giving first aid to the woman's bleeding elbow.
“First holdap?” the woman repeated, incredulous.
Syd nodded sheepishly. “Oo. Pasensya na. Ang pangit ng performance ko. Training lang kasi kanina, tapos ngayon… ayan. Epic fail.”
For a long moment, the woman just stared at her. Then, slowly, she started to laugh too. A soft, nervous giggle that grew louder. Until both of them were laughing like old friends in the middle of a failed crime.
They sat down on the curb. Syd tucked the gun back into her backpack, ashamed but strangely lighter.
“Name’s Syd,” she said finally, offering her hand.
The woman hesitated, then took it. Her grip was soft but sure. “Jemma.”
Silence stretched. Jemma glanced at her bag, then back at Syd. “So… you’re really doing this for tuition?”
Syd nodded, suddenly shy. “Wala nang slots sa state colleges. Private schools lang natira. Wala kaming pera.”
Jemma tilted her head. “You know… there are other ways to afford college. Maybe not easy, but not like this. I can help you. I know some people, some scholarships, grants. You just need to apply.”
Syd blinked at her. “Bakit mo ako tutulungan? Eh, hinoldap kita.”
“Hindi mo naman tinuloy,” Jemma said softly. “And… you laughed at me. Not many people laugh at me like that. Nakakatawa ka rin kasi.”
Heat crept up Syd’s neck.
“Come on,” Jemma said, standing and brushing herself off. “Coffee? My treat. You can tell me about your plans. And maybe… we figure something out.”
Syd hesitated, then smiled. The kind of smile that came easy to her, shallow yet genuine. She picked up her bag, slung it over her shoulder, and followed.
For the first time that month, she felt lighter. Not because she succeeded at crime, but because a stranger had looked past it.
Maybe treasure wasn’t just in education. Maybe it was also in unexpected company, found on the curb of a dark alley, after a ridiculous failed holdap.