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Seungkwon coughs, awkwardly. He speaks in a stilted manner, which is strange; Hyun-yi finds that usually Seungkwon doesn’t think things through at all. He just says them, and then he gets this stupid look on his face a second later like he didn’t mean to say something so bold out loud. Right now, he almost sounds… timid. It puts Hyun-yi on edge.
“Is it not, uh, PC, if I say I liked you both ways?” Seungkwon pauses, rounding out each letter in English. P-C.
“Huh?” Hyun-yi echoes, like Seungkwon’s trying to start a fight. If he is, she’ll finish it. Her hands fly to her hips, defensive. Pulling chairs off the tables for opening can wait. Then, ‘liked you’ catches up to her ears, a good second after ‘PC’. “Oh. Wait, what?”
“Before your surgery,” he starts. Then, he seems to rethink things. Clarifies, “before I knew you were a girl, to be honest.”
“You… liked me?” Hyun-yi pauses, embarrassingly breathless. This isn’t what she expected to hear- she feels a bit foolish now for gearing up for another one of their scuffles. Her hands brush out the skirt she’s wearing, smoothing the wrinkles before clenching her fists in the fabric all over again. Like a little girl in love. Hah, not that Hyun-yi’s ever been a little girl.
It’s Seungkwon’s turn to look embarrassed. “Yeah,” he says, kicking one of his scuffed shoes at the counter. They’re worn to bits; the last time they were like this, he fixed them with duct tape, and then Yiseo lectured him about brand image for, like, hours. Gave him way too much money to buy a new pair afterwards, though. Maybe she’ll pay for his next pair of shoes, too. Seungkwon thinks all this with his eyes to the floor, practically taking cover behind the kitchen island. “‘Course I did. I like you now, don’t I?”
Hyun-yi inches closer. If Seungkwon’s gonna confess anything, she won’t let him get away with half-truths. “It’s different,” she wheedles. She looks up through her bangs, tilting her head so she can see under the low brim of his cap. He’s twitchy, in that endearing way that makes Hyun-yi want to put him in the hot seat much more often. It reminds her of her old game of coming on to him at the worst times, after that night at the club, just to watch Seungkwon stutter and turn red. If the soju bottle-spinning version of truth or dare weren’t banned among their little friend group, the two of them probably would have gotten together a lot sooner, Hyun-yi thinks.
“I dunno,” Seungkwon mumbles, suddenly reticent. He looks nervous about pissing Hyun-yi off, or saying the wrong thing. It’s partly pissing Hyun-yi off, ironically enough. “Is it really that different? I just thought you were pretty, even as a guy. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
The whole thing startles an incredulous laugh out of Hyun-yi. “Even when I had… silver hair?”, she asks, running her hands pointedly down her sweater, swaying a little with the motion. When she had a boyish fashion, a flat chest, more like.
Seungkwon nods, still looking around with a wide-eyed intensity, like he thinks he’s in trouble. Hyun-yi’s grinning now- one of her rare, unguarded little smiles. The ones that come out when it’s just the two of them, or when Hyun-yi is teasing him viciously. Seungkwon used to think it meant Hyun-yi felt like she had the upper hand; now he knows that wide smile means she feels safe. She steps closer.
“Even when you asked me to go to the bathhouse with you?”, Hyun-yi prods. She tips her head even lower, forcing herself into Seungkwon’s field of vision, even as his gaze darts away. His face goes red at the memory, the now-obvious reasons she had rejected the notion. But… he nods.
Hyun-yi can feel her skin buzzing, in a good way. She doesn’t know what kind of expression her face is making, or how red her ears must be based on that hot rush of blood, but she feels that type of open curiosity that comes with love. How foolish. She pokes at Seungkwon’s shoulder, smirks. “You just wanted to see me naked then, huh?”
Seungkwon straightens to standing tall quickly, red-faced. Hyun-yi’s quite the interrogator. “I’m just trying to say that-“
Hyun-yi’s smile falters at his panic, but she doesn’t give up her line of questioning. Her expression turns sharp, laced with insecurity. Seungkwon would know- as much as Hyun-yi calls him socially inept, he knows which parts of her face say what. He can tell which gentle curve of her cheek means she’s trying not to be sad. He can track the downward turn of her eyes. The whole thing is as clear as day, to Seungkwon. At least when it’s Hyun-yi. “I see. You liked me better as a boy then?”
Seungkwon looks scandalized. His brows furrow together cartoonishly. “No! I-“
Hyun-yi goes on her tiptoes to get closer to his face, leering. Half-cocky, half-dangerous. “Wishing I went back?”
Seungkwon openly gapes. Geez, his girl turns on him quick. Like fire to ice, she can make the temperature drop. “No-“
“I knew it,” Hyun-yi sighs, turning away. Worrying her lower lip, like she’s broken something by holding on too tight. Looking at it too closely. “I-“
“I don’t think you were only beautiful before or after! I thought you were beautiful the whole time!”, Seungkwon yells, surprising himself with his own volume. Hyun-yi startles back, wide eyed. But when Seungkwon reaches for her hands, she doesn’t pull back. Makes herself wait for him. She’s always been the impatient type; Seungkwon’s always been slow. A match made in hell. Hyun-yi knows her hands are big for a woman’s, but when they’re enveloped by Seungkwon’s scarred knuckles, she feels a bit small, in a good way. A container of curry powder sliding perfectly into the rows of spices she keeps. She wants to avert her eyes, break the moment, but she can’t seem to look away.
“I see you, Ma Hyun Yi,” he says. Direct eye contact, this time. It makes her knees go wobbly; how unfair. “You’re gorgeous when you’re being brave. You look more like yourself, yeah? But I still like you when you’re not so confident. That version of my Hyunyi is cute, too.”
Hyun-yi doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s okay, Seungkwon can read it in her face. The way she blinks, which means she’s relieved. That rare, gentle smile- feeling safe. The twitch to the corner of her mouth, the one that says she’s falling for Seungkwon all over again, even if she thinks he’s being an idiot.
She breaks Seungkwon’s grip, moves beside him to slice the vegetables that he’s been rinsing in one spot for the past ten minutes. Leans to the side, knocking her shoulder into the curve of Seungkwon’s arm. Standing beside him, always.
“I must’ve done something right in a past life, to end up here with you,” Hyun-yi hums, idly.
“Have you seen our lives? We both did something wrong, for sure,” Seungkwon blurts. Then he looks down, catches the nasty expression Hyun-yi is shooting at him. Ah. He’s an idiot. “Oh- oh. Yeah. You’re my karmic reward, baby. I mean it.” he drawls, unconvincingly.
Hyun-yi doubles over with laughter.
After a second, Seungkwon joins her.