Chapter Text
It’s not there when Ragatha arrives first, the Loser Corner dark yet surprisingly relaxing to be in, the small, cartoon aquarium glowing with digital light. If it weren’t for her own troubled mind, she’d certainly be using the small CD player left on the bench, passing the time listening to the random musics on the playlist provided by Caine, but all she can think about is Pomni, and the jester’s surprisingly positive reaction to Jax.
Then Kinger appears as well, nearly toppling onto the floor as he’s teleported inside; with him appears a good sized TV, the screen static until it settles on the Circus itself, the screen split in two halves: on the top Ragatha sees Gangle and Zooble, sitting quietly together and engaging in a hushed conversation, on the bottom half, Jax and Pomni, walking together side by side and conversing as well, Pomni laughing openly at something the other says.
Helping Kinger stand, Ragatha decides to forget the TV for the time being. She’s vaguely aware of the remote flickering into reality, two big buttons on it, one for each team’s visual, and a volume setting, but she leaves that be as well.
She doesn’t mind spending time with Kinger, crazy as he might be, and being aware of what’s happening outside of the darkened corner certainly helps her relax even further, some semblance of control back into her grasp.
Gangle appears in a flutter of ribbons and ceramic pieces.
“Did you have fun?” Ragatha asks, feeling weirdly amused at the usually shy girl’s behaviour when handed a gun. Jax’s face certainly made her day, his smug grin washed away in exchange for a panicked look while Gangle maniacally laughed and shot at him- and Pomni.
The TV now shows Team BadGuys running after Zooble, volume high enough to be heard over their casual chatter, but not so high as to bother them, the three decide to settle in to watch while doing their own, quiet activity.
“Uh,” Gangle says, ribbon grabbing the remote and raising the volume.
“You’re just gonna hide in your room?” Jax asks, standing outside Zooble’s room, gun cocked.
“Coward!” Pomni adds, smiling wide.
Despite lacking a visual, they can hear rustles and thuds coming from inside, Zooble probably trying to find a solution to win the game for their team.
Patting Pomni on the shoulder, Jax straightens up to his full height, hands clasped together as he starts his next mockery. “Daisy, daisy,” he starts, beckoning his teammate to join in.
Despite Jax’s surprisingly good singing voice, Ragatha wishes Pomni wouldn’t join; she already knows it won’t be true, having watched the two bonding on the screen, the colorful jester clasping her own hands together as she joins in on the song.
“Give me your answer, do.”
“You’re seriously gonna start singing that?!” Zooble shouts, irritated.
“I’m half crazy,” the two harmonize, music starting in the background from the Circus' omnipresent speakers. “All for the love of you.”
“They’re good singers,” Gangle says.
Ragatha bristles. “Jax is being mean to Zooble and Pomni is joining in.”
“It doesn’t seem inherently malicious,” Gangle points out. “They’re being irritating at best.”
“It won’t be a stylish marriage, I can’t afford a carriage, but you’ll look sweet, upon the seat,” Jax outstretches his hand, and Pomni takes it, the two twirling together as they sing, “of a bicycle built for two!”
“Are they really friends?” she wonders, unsure. She had tried being Jax’s friend, once, and almost succeeded before everything happened. She didn’t think Jax could be anyone worth knowing too deeply, she still doesn’t, but what she sees gives her a little hope.
Gangle shrugs. “They’ve been getting along fine from what I can tell. Jax isn’t as mean when she can see it.”
“But actual friends?”
“Perhaps you should just let the pieces fall where they may,” Kinger says, speaking up in that quiet voice of his. “It certainly wouldn’t hurt our Jax to have one true friend here.”
The two girls stare, unused to Kinger’s introspection.
“Or perhaps we can go back to being cats!”
Zooble appears in a mess of detached limbs, shaking their head as they rebuild their body.
“What.”
Ragatha, Gangle and Kinger stare, dressed with black cat ears, tails and whiskers.
“Aww, man, I hoped you’d win,” Gangle bemoans, ribbons fluttering.
Zooble shrugs. “It was fun while it lasted.”
The TV crackles once more, volume going up almost to its maximum setting all on its own, Pomni’s voice echoing through the Loser Corner as she laughs, elated, at her and Jax’s victory.
With a ‘pop!’, the screen grows bigger right as she hugs Jax in her excitement.
“We make such a good team!” she laughs, the four surprised when Jax doesn’t show any indication to push her off. He seems content, even, ever-present smile relaxed as he looks almost fondly down at her.
“Holy sh*t,” Zooble says, staring bug-eyed at the rabbit’s expression.
Something shifts, and Jax’s expression changes; his pupils become pinpricks, eyebrows furrowed in what could be panic, or a sudden discomfort. He pushes Pomni away, keeping her at arm’s length, then stares, wide eyed, at the hand he touched her with.
Almost as if he’s surprised by his action.
He shrugs it off when Pomni seems to want to speak up, going back to his usual relaxed stance. “Well, to be fair, our competition wasn’t anything crazy.”
“Eh, yeah, true,” Pomni agrees. When she turns around, her back at him, Jax goes back to stare at his hand, befuddled. “I suppose this is the part when one betrays the other?”
“I would expect that from Jax, but not from Pomni,” Ragatha comments, eyebrows drawn together in thought.
“They did work well together, annoying as that was,” Zooble points out. “Perhaps he won’t.”
Pomni then turns back around, gun pointed at Jax, who is still staring at his hand.
“Uh?” he blinks, confused. He carelessly throws his gun away, shrugging. “Oh, yeah, you can betray me.”
“ She can betray him ?” Gangle echoes, surprised.
“Does Jax actually want to be Pomni’s friend?” Zooble asks, looking around in search of an answer. “Like, for real?”
Ragatha purses her lips. “I’m not sure.”
She never really is, with Jax.
Pomni startles, losing her stance. “Oh. I just- I thought this was gonna be a mutual thing.”
“Nah, nah, go on,” Jax smirks. “Do it.”
“I don’t… really want to.”
“La-ame,” he singsongs. “Come on! I thought you were cool!”
“We could just be winners?” Pomni offers instead. “As a team?”
Jax chuckles as he walks away, waving her off. “We’re not a team! Come on.”
Ragatha glares. “Of course.”
“What do you mean? Yes, we are,” Pomni stammers.
Jax rolls his eyes, twirling a finger by his temple. “Delusional.”
“Weren’t we kind of bonding over being chaotic evil together?”
Jax scoffs. “I was merely entertaining you because I thought it was funny! Now, are you gonna shoot me or what?”
“Did I… do something wrong?” Pomni asks, confused.
“Ugh,” he groans, straightening up. “You sound like Ragatha right now.”
Ragatha shouts in outrage. “Why is that an insult?!”
“No wonder we’re not a team,” Jax continues, walking around the tiny jester.
“No, I mean-” Pomni breathes, gathering her thoughts. “We were doing fine. Having fun. Talking. But you’re suddenly just-”
“You’re not committing,” he interrupts, being down to her eye level. He kneels, grabbing her arm and pointing the weapon at his head, right between his eyes, smiling even wider than usual. His pupils are wide, almost covering in full the yellow of the sclera, but there’s no life to them. “Do it.”
“I don’t like where this is going,” Gangle mutters.
“If I shoot you right now, are we still gonna be friends afterwards?” Pomni asks, hesitating.
Jax’s eyes crinkle upwards, smile growing wider, more menacing, even. “We were never friends.”
Pomni flinches. “What- what about all the stuff you told me?”
“Probably they were lies, right?” Ragatha wonders, looking at Zooble for their opinion.
“I honestly don’t know what to think.”
“Do you know what he said?” Gangle asks.
Ragatha shakes her head. “I only started watching this after you got eliminated, really.”
Surprisingly, Jax doesn’t deny it.
“Yeah, I did tell you a lot, didn’t I?” He stands back up, eyebrows scrunched together. “Not looking forward to thinking about that tomorrow.”
“No,” Pomni says, voice raised, but still not to the point of yelling. “No, no, no, we’re not doing this.” She points at him, angered at his dismissal. “You’re not gonna look me in the eye and tell me nothing we’ve been doing together meant anything to you, because I know that’s not true!”
Jax blinks. “Are you coming onto me?”
“Unlikely!” Ragatha shrieks, blushing furiously.
“Yeah, that’s what everyone wants,” he continues. “A straight couple.”
“Oh my God!” Pomni shouts. “Can you take this seriously? Can you take anything seriously?”
Jax chuckles, crossing his arms. “Dude, you’re a cartoon clown. How am I supposed to take you seriously?”
“Why- I-” Pomni stammers, then shakes it off. “ You reached out to me , not the other way around! You’re just gonna pretend that didn’t happen?”
“You must be misremembering,” Jax dismisses.
“Is that why you didn’t show up to Kaufmo’s funeral?”
“I don’t show up to any funeral.”
“He showed up to Ribbit’s,” Kinger points out, quietly, in a sudden moment of clarity.
“He did,” Ragatha agrees, frowning. She really can’t tell what Jax’s game is.
“Yeah I bet you don’t- because you’re scared!” Pomni accuses, clearly fed up. “You’re scared you’ll actually show a human emotion.”
“I’m scared I’ll be bored to tears,” Jax disagrees, mimicking teartracks under his eyes with his fingers.
“Have you ever thought that this might be what causes people to abstract in the first place?” she demands.
Jax laughs, bitter, eyes narrowed and mouth pulled into a mocking grin. “Oh my GOD! Are you seriously gonna blame me for something everyone else did, too?! You didn’t even know him!” Eyes blown wide, and pupils reduced to shaking, tiny squares, Jax struggles to keep up a semblance of a smile. His composure cracked, he takes step after step, forcing Pomni to get back as he advances. “You don’t even know what people are like before they abstract! They are not pleasant to be around-” he jabs a finger her way, shoulders heaving “- like at all!”
The four in the Loser Corner share concerned glances. They may not like Jax, not particularly enjoy his presence, but they wouldn’t wish for him to abstract. Getting back at him because of his mean jokes and pranks is something they do, of course, something Jax expects from them even, but they try not to cross the line.
Seeing him crack, losing his ever present grin and smug attitude, it’s certainly something they didn’t expect.
“Did something happen between Jax and Ribbit?” Ragatha asks, staring wide eyed at the tv screen.
Zooble shakes their head. “Not that I know of. They were together until Ribbit abstracted. Jax got worse afterwards.”
“It’s not like Jax would tell us if we asked,” Gangle points out.
Jax scoffs. “You-” he sighs, giving up. He breathes in, then out, his features shifting back to his usual grin. A seamless transition. His eyes, usually containing a spark, are dull, empty.
“I- I’m sorry,” Pomni says, looking up at him almost hesitantly.
“I’m sure you are,” he scoffs. “Hooo, man! This is all sort of embarrassing!” He rubs at his neck, feigning embarrassment. He then puts his hand into a classic gun shape, pointing it at his head. “So, you’re gonna shoot me or what?”
“What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?” Pomni asks instead, voice quiet, yet still sounding clear in the silence of the Circus.
“I’d move on,” Jax says, voice even, facing her with a blank mask of indifference. “And probably forget about you.”
“You assh*le!” Ragatha snaps, the phantom feeling of tears tickling at the corner of her eyes. “How could you?!”
“He’s lying,” Gangle says.
Ragatha turns, looking at her mask. “He’s crossed a line!”
“I’m not saying he didn’t,” she defents, rasing her ribbons in a placating gesture, “but it’s clear he’s lying.”
“Okay,” Pomni mumbles. “Okay. I understand.” She looks down her gun, lost in thought, as Jax seems to struggle on what to say next.
“Geez, you really can’t take a joke, can you?” he chuckles, then doesn’t quite manage to dodge the weapon thrown at him, having not expected the girl’s sudden reaction.
“You’re not the funny one!”
“Uuuh, I don’t think that counts,” he mutters, then abruptly startles as Pomni throws herself at him, biting and scratching and tugging at anything she can grab.
“What are you doing!” Jax shouts, barely putting any strength into pushing her away.
“Are they actually gonna fist fight each other?” Zooble wonders, voice raised in excitement. “That’d be a first.”
“While I’m sure punching Jax in the face is a major dream of ours, I’m not sure it’s gonna be the best option here,” Ragatha placates, staring nervously at the screen.
“A pretty good dream,” Gangle grumbles.
“Fight back!” Pomni demands, throwing stuff at Jax, who barely bothers to dodge. “I said fight back!”
Pomni jumps at him, enraged, hitting him with all her might, biting and scratching with renewed energy. Jax startles, almost losing his footing, but eventually manages to grab and throws her onto the ground.
“STOP!” he screams, breathing wildly. “What's wrong with you?!”
“Why didn't you fight back?!”
“Oh, here we go. Here we go!” he growls, looking genuinely pissed. “Because I didn't fight back, that means I secretly care about you?! I'm just a misunderstood little chicken fetus in an egg that needs to be cracked open. Well, I am NOT! I do not care about you, or ANYONE ELSE in this circus in the slightest! End of story!” He breathes out, forcing a smile, breathing coming out erratic. “You are my playthings, and I get joy out of making you SUFFER. I'm the one who causes pain for FUN! If I led you on, it was just to make this part hurt you more.”
“Poor Jax,” Kinger whispers, voice echoing through the silence. “He must be really hurting.”
He turns around, smile twisting painfully, glitches blurring the purple fur at the edges. “F*ck.” He looks even more enraged at that, the inability to curse, looking up as he forces himself back into his mask, kicking at a rubick’s cube by his feet. “F*ck!”
With another careful breath, he goes back to look at Pomni, looking exhausted. A black, jagged mass covers one of his eyes, now a blue, neon colour “There's nothing more to me. So please , just stop looking.”
Ragatha trambles, shaken. “He’s abstracting.”
“That can’t be true,” Gangle warbles. “Pomni’ll be in danger.”
“Let’s get out of here,” Zooble decides, going for the door. “Of course it’s locked… Caine!”
“Jax, you need to calm down,” Pomni says, edging as close as she dares. The mass flickers, engulfing the first ear and moving further down, neon coloured eyes bursting open as soon as they have the space, their pupils set on the jester. “Jax, please .”
Jax lets out a warbled laugh, hand moving to his still normal eye. “I’m a lost cause, Pomni, stop trying.”
“I will not! No one’s a lost cause!”
“Caine!” Ragatha calls, banging alongside Zooble against the locked door. She glances at the tv, Jax’s body being covered in even more of the black mass, and Pomni is still there, stubborn, refusing to get to safety.
The glitching gets worse, Jax’s arm almost unrecognisable in shape with how much it’s warping on itself, elongated and clawed, eyes sprouting inside one another, eerie glow amating electricity from within.
“Can’t you see, Pomni?” he spreads his arms open wide, forcing his mouth into a wide smile. “If I’m gone everyone will be happier! No one there to prank them silly! Oh, I bet Rags will like the peace!”
Ragatha sobs, working uselessly on the door. “Jax…!”
Pomni lunges, grabbing his deformed hand in her own. “No!”
Jax flinches, tripping in the hem of his overalls, falling down on his back; Pomni goes down with him, legs straddling his belly, unwilling to let go even as glitches start covering her hands. “Pom-”
“I said no! You’re not abstracting on me, okay?!” she bends lower, cradling his head between glitching hands. The many eyes still, setting on her with an intensity she doesn’t want to understand. “I don’t want you to.”
Jax chokes on a breath, body trembling. “Everyone else does.”
“F*ck you, Jax!” Zooble shouts, trying to pry the door open using one of their sharper limbs as a lockpick. Gangle helps them, her ribbons tied to the door’s handle, trying to force it open while they work.
“They don’t,” Pomni says eventually. The glitching has moved up her arms, almost reaching her puffy sleeves, yet she refuses to let him go. “I don’t.” She glances at the mass, now covering almost in full the right side of Jax’s body; the last of it gets warped in black and neon, now spreading to the left, eyes still set on her. “I don’t want you to go.”
The first sob starts, leaving way for the others to follow; Jax shakes as he cries, Pomni stubbornly holding onto him as the abstraction keeps on eating him alive. “It hurts,” he breathes out, almost choking on the admission. “F*ck, it hurts .”
“I won’t leave,” Pomni promises, moving to hug him properly; she almost completely glitching as well, the feel of static through her limbs quite similar to ants crawling all over her skin, but not painful yet, not painful enough to force her to let him go. “I’ll stay for as long as you need me to.”
“I’m abstracting,” Jax says, breathless, trying to keep his voice from breaking. He doesn’t quite succeed. “The only place I’ll be staying, is down there in a f*cking cellar. f*ck. ”
Pomni’s hold tightens. “Tell me something.”
“‘Bout what?”
“About you, you idiot.” She lifts herself up just enough to look him in his eyes, one warped, one yellow. “If there’s truly no going back from abstraction, I want to know the kind of person you truly are behind your mask, so I want you to tell me everything about you and I’ll stay here, and remember you.”
Ragatha slumps down against the wall, eyes fixed onto the screen. Jax’s face is twisted in pain, his pastel colours dulled with gray as the abstraction moves to cover him even further. Only the last half of his torso is left uncovered, and the left side of his head. “After that, he’ll be gone forever.”
“Ragatha?”
The doll turns, looking at Gnagle’s ruffled appearance; ribbons frayed and eyes pinched with exertion, the shy girl looks at her with something she would define as despair.
“The door isn’t opening.”
Ragatha sobs.
Jax breaths, the sound broken by the pain. “... I used to write music.”
“What kind?” Pomni asks. “You look like a rock kind of guy.”
He laughs, a genuine little thing that breaks their hearts. “I knew you were cool. Yeah, mostly rock. I had this shitty computer program to use for the arrangement, but could only play the guitar. Little bit of piano. I was learning, I think. Before- before .”
She eyes the black, now stilled mass right underneath his chest. The eyes are still open wide, looking at her with intensity. “Did you publish anything? Maybe I listened to something of yours.”
“I had a youtube channel, but never managed to post anything,” he admits, hissing when one more eye forms. “My parents- they didn’t like that. The music stuff. We were arguing a lot. I bet they never bothered to ask where I went.”
“Sing me something,” she asks instead, even if it comes out more as a demand.
Jax blinks, and the eyes blink with him. He opens his mouth, ready to protest, then closes it. Slowly, carefully, he pushes himself to a sitting position, Pomni safe on his lap, arms wrapped gently around her. “ There were bunnies that were jumping on a trampoline, and I just learned that they weren't real, ” he starts, gently softly, voice rough around the edges. “ If a bot can inhabit an unknowing rabbit, it might manufacture the way you've made me feel. ”
Pomni looks up at him, leaning into his touch as he cradles her cheek with his un-abstracted hand. “ How do I know that the sky's really sunny? Sometimes it feels like your love is as real as an unknowing bunny, ” he sings, voice delicate even on the higher notes. He doesn’t notice when the neon eyes close and fade, the black mass slowly, but steadily, receding. “ There's a woman who was talking on my TV screen, and I just learned she doesn't exist. ”
“F*ck yeah, Kinger!” Zooble shouts, finally kicking the door open, Kinger rolled over on the ground. “C’mon, let’s go!”
Ragatha wipes her eyes, accepting a ribbon to help herself up as they start to run towards their companions’ location. They hear Jax’s voice echoing through the quiet of the circus, his song filling their hearts.
“ Her heart was created, her voice generated, her soul hasn't lived, and her lips have not been kissed ,” Jax sings, voice not quite up to the standards he’s preferred, but the words are clear, so is the melody, and Pomni looks at him, really looks, her attention on him and only him. “ How do I know that the sky's really sunny? Now you can change how it looks with the wave of your hand and a f*ck ton of money. ”
He feels Pomni move but doesn’t dare look, unaware of the abstraction slowly leaving its black back to his digital body; the pain from the glitching softens to a more bearable level, and pushes through the last of his song. “ Am I just an unknowing bunny? ” he asks, the question ringing true even as he sings it. “ Am I just an unknowing bunny? ”
He closes his eyes, cradling Pomni closer. His mind feels like stating, his limbs are heavy, but for the first time in months he feels content. Not quite at peace, not without regrets, but like life would be more manageable if he’d had any left to live.
“...Would you sing for me again?” Pomni asks, her touch feather-light against his good arm.
“Sure,” he murmurs, exhaustion suddenly crashing down on him all at once. “Whenever you want.”
“When you wake up, then,” she says, giggling. He gently helps him lay down, head on her lap, fingers bruising through his fur. “Goodnight, Jax.”
“Mmkay’. G’night, Pom.”