Chapter Text
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Akutagawa had never thought that the words 'golden boy' suited him well, but once he'd enrolled at Yokohama University, which was a university that expected excellence, he'd stepped up as quickly as he could. He wanted his professors to be proud of him, possibly more than was healthy, but he knew what the expectations were, and he was more than willing to follow them.
He'd quickly become the darling of the English department, which his history-major twin sister was quick to start teasing him for. The only good thing about college, Akutagawa often thought to himself, was the fact that his sister was here with him.
Gin told him that he should make more friends, but Akutagawa hardly saw the point when they'd just be graduating - he saw even less purpose for it when it hit his junior year and he was disgustingly busy all of the time. Unfortunately, there were parts of him that sort of wanted friends, when he saw people sitting together on the quad or enjoying a meal.
Now, he was mostly stuck hanging out with Gin and her stupid boyfriend, Tachihara. Akutagawa wished he would've learned to count his blessings when he'd wished for friends.
**
There was not a ton of competition for Suma Cum Laude, and Akutagawa had been on track for it basically since enrolling in university. He should've known things were too good to be true: his advisor seemed to like him, the other students were friendly with him, and even though his student mentor hated his guts, Akutagawa was able to ignore that.
Mostly.
So when Fukuzawa, the head of his department, had Akutagawa sat in his office to tell him about the new student entering the English department as a transfer, Akutagawa was understandably blindsided.
His knuckles turned white where they were laced together, hands settled neatly in his lap. "Sir, why would a new student in the department be any of my concern? I have too much to think about when it comes to my studies."
Fukuzawa made a noncommittal sound, regarding Akutagawa carefully. "You are a remarkable student. You haven't built much of a community here."
"I don't need help making friends-"
"-So you have a little more free time to show Atsushi the campus and help him get involved," Fukuzawa raised his eyebrows, as though to say 'you'd do well to let me finish speaking'. Akutagawa slumped in his seat, feeling sufficiently chided.
"This isn't a death sentence, Akutagawa. It's an opportunity."
Akutagawa hated when he said things like that. He sat up straight again, prideful nature re-entering his system. "And just what will I be expected to do?"
"The room next to yours is vacant. I'm suggesting that Atushi is placed there so he has a friend nearby if he needs one." Fukuzawa paused, waiting for Akutagawa to protest. Honestly, this was the part of the arrangement that Akutagawa was the most okay with so far, mostly because it meant that this 'Atsushi' would not be in his room or in his space. He lifted a shoulder, and Fukuzawa continued:
"You won't be in all the same classes but I will put you in some together. You are to be his point of contact for anything he might need here at school."
"I am in my own student advising program, if you recall," Akutagawa said tersely. He was hoping that Fukuzawa wasn't suggesting that Atsushi also work under Dazai. Akutagawa had a hard enough time getting Dazai's focus on Akutagawa's own assignments.
Fukuzawa smiled a little, like he knew this might be a concern of Akutagawa's. "Your sessions with Dazai will remain the same. Atushi was not interested in the advising program." Fukuzawa tapped the side of his nose. "Though if you wanted to invite him to spend time with the both of you I don't think that would be a bad idea."
Akutagawa felt his own shoulders fall. "Dazai does not spend time with me outside of our studies."
It wasn't that Akutagawa was interested in Dazai. It wasn't like that. It was more like he wanted Dazai's approval, which felt very stupid, but he couldn't shake the feeling that if Dazai wanted something to do with him, it meant that he was worth something.
"Well... That's too bad. I'll mention it to him too." Fukuzawa sat forward, steepling his fingers in front of himself, elbows rested on the desk. "Akutagawa, I'm asking you a favor. Are you willing to accept?"
Akutagawa clenched his jaw. Certainly not, he thought to himself - there was no way he could feasibly be friends with someone who would be going up against him in terms of academics, but it would be alright. It would earn him Dazai's approval most likely as well as Fukuzawa's.
Akutagawa wanted to chew on his bottom lip, a nervous habit he had kicked years ago that still reared its ugly head now and again. He forced it down so Fukuzawa wouldn't see his uncertainty.
"Yes," he finally said through gritted teeth. "I accept."
***
Gin had been planning to come over to his dorm room anyways to study and catch up, but Akutagawa wasn't in the mood much for chatter. He sat brooding at his desk while Gin sat on his bed, papers strewn about with not a care for his space. Though he supposed having a twin one never did truly have their own space.
"So Fukuzawa wants you to what, babysit the new transfer student?" She asked, after he'd asked her no less than three times to leave it be.
He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I do not think babysit is the word I would use."
"What word would you use?" Gin asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Ugh," Akutgawa frowned. "I suppose it is kind of like babysitting."
"Maybe it'll be fun. You don't get out too much, Ryuu, it might be nice to get to hang out with someone new."
"I don't like new people."
"I know that you pretend that the only people you can stand are me and Chuuya." Gin shook her finger at him. "I'm just saying give it a chance, you don't usually get a chance to meet other people in your class."
Realistically, he knew Gin was right. He was too much of a homebody and would end up completely alone for the rest of his life if he wasn't careful. And truth be told, he wasn't being very careful. The idea of friends only appealed to him when he was alone in his dorm, watching the social media of his classmates, who he told himself he followed to be gracious, but really he lived vicariously through them, just a little bit. He considered parties and campus sponsored events, but when it came down to it, he could never convince himself to go. Really, the only socialization he got was with Dazai, and those were academic sessions.
Thinking about it all made him feel a little bit pathetic.
He hoped Atsushi didn't want to go to any parties.
***
Professor Fukuzawa had let Akutagawa know when Atushi would be arriving on campus, which was only a couple of weeks into the new semester. What he was not expecting was for a knock to sound on his dorm room door at seven thirty in the morning.
Akutagawa opened his door, blinking at the change in lighting in the hallway. It was a good thing he lived in a single dorm and didn't have to worry about a cranky roommate either.
The man who stood in front of him was way too bright eyed and busy tailed for so early, and Akutagawa usually woke up quite early as well. He had silver hair in a choppy haircut and a black streak, and wore a casual button up and black jeans, ratty black boots on his feet. And, God, he was smiling, and that made Akutagawa feel like he had to squint even more because of the light he seemed to radiate.
"Good morning! My name's Atsushi, Fukuzawa gave me your room number so I could introduce myself."
Akutagawa blinked. "What?"
"I didn't mean to wake you, but I'm excited to get to know-"
"I don't believe the professor's intentions were for you to wake me with the sun," Akutagawa said bluntly, feeling irritated that his whole day had been upended from the start. How annoying.
Atsushi's smile slipped, but only a little. The twinkle in his eye never went away, so Akutagawa couldn't imagine that he'd made him feel too insecure. "I'm sorry, we're just in the same nine am class so I thought it might be nice to get breakfast together."
Akutagawa wanted to scream. This was the first day of the semester and Atsushi already wanted to spend time with him? He heaved a sigh through his nose, trying not to get too frustrated right away. Atsushi might just be excited about the new school, since he was a transfer and all.
"I... Fine. Wait out here while I change."
Akutagawa did his best to put himself together as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, and this was the worst part about the thing so far, was that Atsushi was very handsome. He looked exactly like the kind of guy Akutagawa would go for, if he actually had experience with such things. As it was he was always too nervous to talk to anyone he had any interest in, so he was painfully inexperienced in the romance department.
This was going to be hell.
That was how he found himself walking down to the dining hall with Atsushi next to him, the other boy vibrating with nervous energy. "I'm really glad you answered the door, you know, and that you're willing to hang out with me. I'm not the best at being new places, and -"
"Please don't misunderstand. I'm doing this as a favor for Fukuzawa."
"Oh... I mean, I know he kind of assigned you to me, so I wouldn't be all my myself, but, um... We could still try to be friends. I think it might be fun." Atsushi's voice got less and less confident as he spoke, clearly thinking better about actually trying to be friends with Akutagawa.
"All I'm saying is that I believe we should establish some ground rules. I expect not to be contacted after ten pm. I can give you my phone number because I believe Fukuzawa wants me to, but I am not a social person. I would not take it personally if I were you."
From the expression on Atsushi's face, it looked like he was very much about to take it personally, so Akutagawa went on before he could say anything.
"I plan on graduating at the top of the class, so I will consider you my rival, I'm afraid."
"Your rival? Dude, what year are you from?" Atsushi asked, his brows drawing together. He yanked open the dining hall door for Akutagawa, stepping to the side to let him through. Such a think shouldn't have irritated Akutagawa quite as it did, but he forced it down, nodding in thanks as he passed Atsushi.
"I want to be the best. Someone people can be proud of. Fukuzawa is hindering me by giving me you as a responsibility."
Atsushi huffed out a laugh. "Well, thanks for that, man."
The following interaction was... Awkward. Akutagawa didn't usually meet people for meals, especially for breakfast. It was too early and he would much rather read a book then have to deal with socializing before he'd even had his first class of the day. Atsushi seemed skittish, but Akutagawa suspected that was because he was being standoffish, which, he thought to himself, Atsushi was going to have to get used to if he was going to spend any time at all with Akutagawa.
They selected a table and split off to get food, and once Akutagawa sat down, Atushi started talking again.
"So... What do you like about Yokohama?"
"It's a good school. I got a scholarship."
"Oh, wow!" Atsushi grinned, clearly excited to have received any information from Akutagawa at all. "That's awesome. I was hoping to get some scholarships, but I think I'll have to try again next year... I didn't qualify for too much after transferring."
Akutagawa tried very hard not to be pleased by that, but it was a little comforting that he was still at least a little bit better than Atsushi. Not that it was a competition.
But if it was, Akutagawa would be winning.
"Hm."
"So, um... We have English Lit this morning, and then I have a couple classes that I think you aren't in..."
"I believe we are only sharing our major courses, which would be English Lit, Romanticism, and Shakespeare. Is that correct?"
Atsushi blinked. "Yeah, that's right. I have to take some electives because mine didn't transfer, but... Those are the main ones I'm taking this year."
Akutagawa nodded. While he didn't want to spend that much time with Atsushi, it would at least be nice to only have to be around him for three classes a week. Some of those were several times a week, but Akutagawa was willing to ignore it for now in favor of that silver lining.
It didn't get any less awkward from there, but Akutagawa really only had himself to blame for such a thing. Atsushi attempted conversation a couple more times before realizing that they would be better off eating and walking to class in silence. If Akutagawa didn't know any better, he would say that Atsushi looked a little bit disappointed.
Atsushi sat right next to him in English Lit, which he supposed looked good for him since Fukuzawa taught this class. He gave Akutagawa a nod of approval before beginning the class.
It was... Annoying, how attractive Atsushi was. And he wasn't an irritating desk mate either. He didn't chew his nails or fidget in his seat or sniffle every two seconds. He seemed very intelligent, and was taking notes that even impressed Akutagawa. He had a line of highlighters that seemed to be color coordinated based on what kind of notes he was taking, but it was a system that Akutagawa couldn't figure out.
"I'll, um, leave you alone then," Atsushi said after their class ended. "And see you at Shakespeare and Romanticism tomorrow?"
"Yes, you will." Akutagawa watched Atsushi fidget a little with his messenger bag before putting him out of his misery. "It's not you. I'm just... Not good with people."
Atsushi smiled a little. "I kind of figured," he said softly. "We could be friends though, even if you do think we're rivals or whatever."
Akutagawa squinted. "I am quite alright. I have enough companionship."
"Dude, it's crazy, it's like you're from the middle ages or something."
Akutagawa rolled his eyes, heading off down the path. Atsushi trotted after him, and Akutagawa wasn't sure what to do to get rid of him. Despite being the base level of polite (which was usually off putting for other people his age) Atsushi didn't seem to be taking the hint. Maybe telling him that he was introverted had been a mistake.
Eventually, when they reached Akutagawa's dorm building, Atsushi pointed towards a door towards the far end of the building. "I'm down there."
"In the same building?"
"Yeah. It would've been like, extra creepy if I'd come across campus to pick you up for breakfast."
Akutagawa's lip twitched against his will, almost up into a smile. "Well, good thing you won't have to do that."
"Um... Would it be okay? If we got breakfast together a couple times a week? Not... Not all the time, but I have a lot of trouble making friends, and Professor Fukuzawa said he wanted us to hang out outside of class every once in awhile, and-"
"That's fine," Akutagawa cut him off, not wanting any more long-winded explanations that did not need explaining. "I agreed to the program Fukuzawa set up, and I plan to see it through. You do not need to feel like you can't hang out with me."
Atsushi squinted. "I mean. You are kinda hard to talk to."
"It's by design."
"I can tell. But I'm allowed to talk to you."
"Yes."
"How lucky."
Akutagawa sniffed, tilting his nose up in the air as he headed for his own dorm, leaving Atsushi behind him.
"How lucky, indeed."