Chapter Text
Standing alone on the rooftop garden you let out a shaky sigh, staring at the large 35 in the distance. Every year you came to this spot to watch the Gommage. You didn’t dare go out onto streets, it felt wrong, but it also felt wrong to stay hidden away in your house so this was the best middle ground you could come up with. A tiny secluded garden where no one could see you, but you could still see the monolith.
You had always been seen as a bad omen. Since birth nothing but bad luck followed you everywhere you went and everyone had something to say about it. Those older than you called you unnatural, those younger than you whispered purposeless rumors, and those around your age either ignored you or made sure you knew exactly what everyone thought of you. All of this because-
“You know, if you stared at it hard enough I really think you could make the number disappear.”
With a slight smile you turned around to see a woman slowly walking up to you, long black hair and flower necklace blowing in the wind.
“If anyone were to destroy the monolith with a death glare I think it would be you.” Smiling back, the woman came to your side and looked out over the city.
Emma, your best friend…truthfully your only friend. One of the only people left in Lumiere who seemed to care about you and today was her Gommage. If you were seen as a bad omen, she was seen as a good one.
“The sun's about to set. You should be down there.” You nod your head over to the harbor.
“I think the view up here is better.” She says, “Besides, I want to spend my Gommage with someone I love dearly.”
You let out a huff, Emma was popular. There was just something about her that drew people in. Her very presence could immediately light up a room and turn any event into a party. She had tons of friends, ones who were Gommaging today as well, so you didn’t really understand why she wanted to be here with you. This wasn’t your funeral.
“Y/N?” You look over at Emma, her facial expression soft but her eyes filled with worry.
“Sorry” You whisper forcing a smile, “Just lost in thought.”
She nods slowly, looking back at the harbor. There was a decent sized crowd now. You hated looking at it. A bunch of people just standing there waiting, watching the sun, and counting down the seconds until the paintress stood up to make them all fade away. Maybe the people down there didn’t care about you, but you couldn’t help but feel bad for them.
“Are you at least excited about the expedition?” You can clearly hear her trying to bump up her voice, “I mean having a previous expeditioner make it back to Lumiere is rare, lots of good information right?”
You have no idea
“Heh..you're not gonna try to stop me from going?”
Emma looks at you.
“No.” She says firmly, “You made your decision, just like Aiden…” She pauses for a second, biting her lip, “Just like Aiden made his and I made mine.”
You notice Emma rubbing her wedding ring, but don’t mention it. You remember how upset she was when Aiden told her he wanted to go on the expedition, but somehow accepted it in the end. You on the other hand never did. Another person who cared crossed out like they were nothing.
“I’m still surprised they're letting me go…”
“Well believe it or not Corinne likes you and she knows how talented you are.”
You really did have Corinne to thank for this. You knew she took a big gamble on letting you join. She knew your…condtion and how you were a magnet for bad luck, but after some tests she deemed you fit for the expedition. A little bit of pleading with the council later, the papers were signed off.
“Lumiere WILL be losing its best writer though” Emma says with a smirk.
You groan, tilting your head back and throwing your arms out in frustration.
“Not like anyone even knows it’s me.”
“Right right, I mean they’ll be losing Ms. Autumn Winters.” She giggles throwing up jazz hands when she says the name.
“I picked that name when I was like 14 ok!?” You cover your face in slight embarrassment wishing for so long that you could change it.
It was a spur of the moment decision when you decided to publish your first book. Despite writing in incredible detail, that was the best thing you could come up with. Emma and Aiden never let you live it down.
“You don't want to say anything before you leave?” She asks, tilting her head. “Tell Lumiere who you are.”
You almost immediately shake your head
“No. Some things are best left a mystery.”
“That IS your strong suit seeing how many of those stories you’ve written.”
There was no doubt that you were going to miss it. Emma did have a point though, your books were quite popular. It was strange how Y/N was so pushed aside by the people while Ms. Winters was embraced by them even though they were the same person.
A brief moment of silence passed between you before Emma sighed.
“Could you do something for me while you're over there?” she asks, nodding her head over to the continent, “I know Mathieu was the one keeping the journal for the 35, but I’m sure Aiden had one too…so maybe you…could..”
“I’ll look out for it.” You say, a soft genuine smile creeping onto your face.
It’d be nice to hear Aiden's voice again
Emma smiles at you. She then stands up straight, grabbing your shoulders, and puts on a serious, commander-like tone that you can't help but laugh at.
“Y/N. You are part of the great expedition 34, about to go on the adventure of a lifetime. And I know somehow you will have a great impact as you are the bravest, most stubborn child I know.”
“Child?” You cock an eyebrow at her, “I’m 27.”
“You're younger than me so that means you're a child.” She says matter of factly, waving her finger in front of you before she looks out to the monolith, her smile slowly fading.
You look over to see the sun almost gone. The city’s eerily quiet now. No one talks, no one moves, it’s almost like no one's breathing. Time feels like it slows down as you try to control yourself, the sun getting lower and lower.
“Don’t let any of these clowns stand in your way.” Emma grabs your hands, pulling your attention away from the monolith.
You start to shake. You want to look at her, but you know as soon as you do everything will come crumbling down, so you keep your eyes on the ground seeing nothing but her shoes.
“Just know that I’ll always be with you. No matter where you are, me and Aiden are watching and no matter what you’ll never truly be alone.”
The sun has finally set.
“You’ve always been like a sister to me. I know you and I know how strong you are, so show them.” She squeezes your hands as tears begin to well up in your eyes.
The paintress stands up.
“Show the expedition who you are, show the continent who you are. No more holding back.”
With one wave of her hand the glowing 35 changes into a 34.
“There’s something special about you Y/N.” Emma's talking faster now, “ Your NOT a bad omen, your NOT unnatural, you-”
Just as quickly as she stood up, the paintress sits back down.
You look up just as Emma begins to fade away into red petals. In any other circumstance they would be beautiful, the vibrant red flowing in the wind, but this was the most painful sight one could see.
Tears spill down your face. There’s no point in trying to control them anymore.
“Please don't leave me.” You sob.
Emma looks into your eyes and with one final whisper: “I’ll always be with you.”
And with that Emma's gone, disappearing right before your eyes never to return. You drop to your knees with a thud, tears blurring your vision and yet in the distance you can still clearly see the glowing 34.
You slowly walk down the steps to a landing near the harbor. The Expedition 34 “party” had started.
3 tables…about the same as the 35, so not bad I guess
You begin to take in the scene in front of you. Multiple people were already tipsy, no one had touched the chocolate cake, and some were trying to haggle stuff from the vendors. Besides that people were scattered around in little groups talking to each other trying to calm their nerves. That was until someone bumps into you, wine spilling on your arm.
Catching yourself you turn around to see who else other than Geovanni and Mark.
“Ooh ssssshhit…” Geovanni says, still trying to get his footing, “I’m sooooo sorry…uh…what was your name again?”
“Bree?” Mark asks with his arm around Geo, eyes squinting, “Harper?...Gweeeenn?”
There both absolutely wasted
“It’s ok, but uh maybe you two should sit down.” You motion over to one of the tables.
“Yeah *hic* Maybe that's a good idea.” Geo nearly falls over before Mark catches him and practically drags him over to the tables.
Just as you were surprised about getting into the expedition you were genuinely surprised these two did as well. Mark and Geovani are the most notable alcoholics in the city. Yes they could be funny when they were drunk, but more often than not they caused a lot of trouble. You can't even begin to count how many times they’ve been detained, although rarely for messing with you. You knew that they knew that they could get away with it.
“HEY!” Mark yells even though you're right in front of him. “SORRY ABOUT YOUR JACKET.”
You look down and see a blotch of red on the back side of your sleeve.
At least the jackets black
You take a deep breath before looking over. Other than the ones haggling or a little too tipsy to notice everyone was staring at you. They nonchalantly averted their gaze, but the side eyes were clearly visible. You shifted awkwardly before heading over to the commanders table. Like the Gommage it felt wrong to come to the party, but at the same time you WERE part of this expedition so it felt wrong to not show up at all. The constant need to find a middle ground for everything you do has gotten so frustrating. You were so…so…tired.
Just give me a fucking bre-
“Nice to see you made it”
Bringing yourself back to reality you look up to see your commander, Corinne, looking back at you. There was a soft, but slightly amused expression on her face.
“Yeah I uh…yeah” you softly stutter before looking away again
“It IS nice that you made it.” she said earnestly.
Noticing the others looking at you she pipes up again.
“No matter what anyone says you ARE part of the 34.”
The comment did make you feel warm, but you knew nobody else on the expedition really felt that way.
“Here.” she said holding up a token, “Go spend it, have some wine, maybe some cake, and try to relax a little.”
You grab the token and fiddle with it for a second before nodding and giving a little smile to Corinne.
“Thank you.”
You start to make your way over to the tents when someone taps you on the shoulder. Turning around you see the unmistakable blonde curls and piercing blue eyes of the one person you were really hoping to avoid tonight.
“Monique.”
“Y/N.”
You hated those eyes so much. They made you feel small especially when they were glaring at you like that. Nothing about Monique was kind. Many people in Lumiere didn’t like you or just avoided you all together, but you never understood why she despised you so much. Maybe it was because she knew she could get away with it or something about you being younger, but neither of those really fit.
Arms crossed and looking you up and down she finally spoke.
“Try to leave your bad luck at home, yeah?” You couldn’t stand to look in her eyes anymore, “Try not to bleed either. You know how gross it is and nobody wants to see that.”
With that she turns away and walks back to her group who immediately start to whisper.
It was a quick jab, things you’ve heard before, but it still hurt. It always does.
Fucking bitch
You wanted to say it out loud so bad. You wanted to spit in her face and tear her down for everything she's done to you, but like always you just stand there and stay silent.
I never should have come here
Some time must have passed because a voice startles you as it calls everyone to gather around. You snap out of your delirium and sit on one of the nearby tables, in the back but close enough to still hear everything. Corinne stands up on a platform and begins to speak.
“Alright, before anybody gets TOO drunk,” she glares over at Mark and Geo, “let's go over this one more time. Our expedition's main goal is NOT to kill the paintress.”
They had all been sworn to secrecy. The truth about Expedition 34 and its mission were only known by them and the council. It felt a little odd, being told that you were avoiding the one thing the expeditions were always told to do, but it’s not like it was out of nowhere. Year after year expeditions were sent out and nobody ever came back, until a couple of months ago.
Early in the morning some fishermen had come rushing back to the city saying that they had found a man out at sea drifting on some plywood. Apparently his name was Fredrik and was a part of the 35, and was also incredibly injured. His clothes, skin, and hair were completely white and for some reason neither healing spells nor tints were working. The best anybody could do was wrap him up in bandages and wait. Nobody knew if he was going to wake up, but miraculously the next day he did…although not for long.
At first what he was saying didn’t make any sense, but through the rambling some things came through most notably that there were people over on the continent. Time and time again he mentioned white haired people, dangerous people, and the more he talked the clearer it was that whoever they were, they sounded like they were invincible. It didn’t seem possible and it could have just been a broken man spouting nonsense, but when he said to look in his bag they found locks of white hair.
Although the council tried to pry him for more information the man soon fell silent, peace at last.
“Now, based on the information we have, our landing spot was where Fredrik swam from so we’ll do our best to retrace his steps and go from there.” Corinne looked up from her notes and scanned everyone's faces. “We know these people have killed expeditioners and we don’t know how many of them there are, but I need you all to remember exactly what you signed up for. You are to capture and bring back one of them to Lumiere under Any. Means. Necessary.”
You didn’t stay for very long after that. You didn’t spend the token either, deciding to keep it instead of trading it for something probably useless. Maybe it’d bring you some good luck and everyone knows you need more of that. You did manage to snatch a whole bottle of wine though. At the very least you could enjoy that all by yourself without anybody else taking it away from you.
Early the next morning it was finally time to head out.
Unlike everybody else who were a bit tense and nervous, you had never felt more excited in your entire life. Just the thought of leaving Lumiere was thrilling, but getting the chance to explore an entirely new world, a place you’ve only read about in books, was absolutely exhilarating.
Practically jumping onto the boat you headed for the opposite side, looking out onto the sea. You blocked out all the other noises from your ears other than the flowing water and creaking of the boat. As it began to move you didn’t look back once, never letting your eyes leave the continent.
Maybe you’ll finally find a purpose over there. Maybe people will start to think differently of you. Maybe things will start to change. The thought of going on an adventure just like how you’ve written in your books puts a genuine smile on your face.
I’ll make you proud Emma