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Today was the day. Jisung was finally going to get the courage to ask Felix out to lunch. Not dinner but lunch. In a way, it was less scary, but the implication was the same. From the moment he laid eyes on Felix, he knew he wanted him. They were meant to be, born only hours apart and lived on the same block for the last three years, but were only now crossing paths a little after Jisung’s latest break up.
That was half the reason it took him weeks to build up the courage. Felix was so genuine and kind, he’d hate to think he was a rebound, especially after his last break up crushed him so horribly. They found out he was a virgin and ran. He swore he wouldn’t get involved with anyone else so soon, but this was Felix. They stayed up late almost every night talking about their favorite animes, how their day went, the foods they loved, and childhood stories few people ever heard. The pair connected instantly and Jisung didn't want to let him go.
The other half… well... he was also insanely hot, to the point it was inhuman. His golden locks framed his fairy like face that had freckles dotted across the bridge of his nose like stars in the sky. Each one was carefully placed by the universe right where it needed to be. Then there was his body, he had a small but well defined frame, not too muscular, but it was as if his body was sculpted perfectly to fit who he was as a person. Strong yet still delicate. Jisung would be lying if he hadn’t already had dreams of their bodies intertwined together.
A wild thing for his brain to do when Jisung could hardly speak to him in person without stuttering. Over the phone was always easier. His heart still beat against his ribcage and skipped like a school kid at recess, but it was easier when they had that little bit of separation. He was absolutely head over heels for him. But today would be the day he’d get over it, finally… sorta.
They had been on the phone for an hour discussing the latest episodes of solo leveling and the conversation was naturally coming to a close as it did when the sleep became evident in their voices. “Hey I have a question?” Jisung blurted out the moment there was silence on the other end of the phone. He was kicking himself for being so abrupt.
“Sure what’s up Sungie?” Felix already had a nickname for him, how was he supposed to answer when he was nearly a puddle in the floor just from his voice. That voice of his too… So deep, sweet and soothing… Jisung shook his head as if it would make his sanity come back to him, it seemed to work a little bit.
“Would you like to go out for lunch tomorrow? I think our lunch breaks line up actually,” Felix had mentioned it once and Jisung immediately was day dreaming about sweet lunches with his boyfriend where they brought each other their favorite foods and snacks and kissed until they had to go back to work. He was thoroughly gone for this man and they’d just barely gotten to know each other.
“As a date?” Not the answer Jisung expected... but he'll take it.
“I mean maybe, if that's what you wanted.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I read the situation wrong uhm, a casual lunch is fine,” Felix laughed nervously. He seemed just as nervous as Jisung was. While it was a relief Jisung had to try to right this sinking ship before he drowned in his own anxious sea of sweat.
“No I mean whatever you want, I kinda did mean as a date, but uh didn’t want to be too forward.”
“Jisungie,” Felix paused, he sounded as if he was about to scold Jisung which did nothing to help his anxiety. The pause felt like hours as he began to tap his foot against the mattress, “There’s no need to not be straight, heheh straight, with me . I kinda think a date would be nice.”
Felix’s cute giggle had Jisung a giggling mess too, god it was embarrassing but he reveled in this feeling. So much so his heart could barely contain itself inside his chest, “It would be… yea…” Flustered didn't even begin to describe Jisung at the moment, he was truly speechless for once.
“How’s the French cafe on the corner sound? It's not a long walk for either of us. How's that sound?”
“Yea that sounds really good, actually I love the food there!” It was Jisung’s suggestion to go out but Felix immediately took control of the planning. That was something Jisung never had in a relationship before, not that they were in one... at least not yet. However, the decision making not being solely on him was well appreciated. To be honest, he hadn’t really taken the time to think that far ahead yet anyways.
“Night Sungie, sweet dreams.”
“You too, Felix, good night.” As soon as the line clicked off Jisung flew out of bed. The grocery store he worked at didn’t really have a dress code. It was nice going in everyday in jeans and a tee shirt but he couldn’t wear that to meet up with Felix and not on their first real date.
However, after all the time and effort Jisung spent staying up late cleaning his button up and slacks, the effort seemed in vain. When he finally spotted Felix walking towards him he was in a more casual outfit: blue jeans, tee shirt and a windbreaker. Jisung wasn’t disappointed Felix could be wearing a burlap sack and still look like an angel on earth.
“I’ve never seen you in jeans,” Jisung blurted out. The filter between his brain and mouth seemed to dissolve.
Felix took it in stride though. He spun around as he got closer to Jisung with a slight skip in his step, “Casual Friday silly, whatcha think?”
“You look really good,” he said bashfully, adjusting his clothes. A bead of nervous sweat began to form by his temple when Felix started to look him over.
“Did you dress up like this for me?” As soon as Felix was within arms length he reached out to straighten Jisung’s collar. He could’ve sworn it was straight last time he checked…
“Uh… no,” Felix tilted his head in slight disappointment before Jisung continued, "Corporate was around today and I just wanted to make a good impression. I look weird don’t I?” Fuck. At least he thought of a slightly believable lie.
“Sigh,” Felix stated dramatically, “You look really good, all cleaned up and I thought it was just for me.”
Jisung began to stammer out sounds instead of words, trying to find something to say to that as the panic set in. Thankfully, Felix’s smile was all it took to bring him back to earth, “I’m kidding!!! Come on, let's eat before we're both late!” Before Jisung could form another poorly worded thought Felix linked their arms and practically dragged him inside.
Once in the cafe with their drinks and pastries Jisung finally calmed down fully. Definitely had nothing to do with the safe feeling of a table separating them now. Not that he wanted to be separated from Felix but it was like he was a magnet to an old tube tv; the closer he gets, the more he malfunctions. At this distance, he could carry on a conversation and even almost look him in the eyes. Almost only because when he did Jisung would get lost and malfunction again. If Felix wasn’t giggling along in their conversation, Jisung would be kicking himself for not being able to act normal. He might still do that later, but for now, this was really nice.
Ever the gentleman, as the time for them to leave drew near Felix cleared their table and returned with his hand outstretched to Jisung as he cleaned the crumbs off his slacks. Jisung thought the date went well, why was Jisung giving him a handshake? It would be rude not to reciprocate even if it stung but Jisung shook his hand anyways, resigned to his fate.
“I’m trying to hold your hand silly,” Felix rotated his hand in Jisung's until they were properly holding hands.
Oh.
Oh.
So the date wasn’t an absolute disaster. In fact, just holding hands was way more than Jisung ever expected for this date. It was hard for him to even feel embarrassed by the way Felix was using his thumb to stroke the top of his hand. It was so nice to feel close to someone again. A little scary, but the warmth blooming in his chest outshone the fear easily.
Even after they exited the cafe Felix still held onto Jisung’s hand, “Call me when you get off tonight. I hope everything with corporate goes well,” his voice no longer the confident, cocky one he spoke with usually but now it was gentle as a spring breeze as he spoke.
“Thanks,” Jisung returned shyly, knowing that was a lie, “I hope the rest of your day is easy too. Maybe this weekend we could play some games?”
“Asking me on a second date already? Wow, so forward.” There’s the cocky Felix he knew again. It was almost a relief the sweet, soft side nearly melted him into a puddle.
“I mean if you want it to be.”
“You know you don't have to say that every time right? I want to date you, I…” For the first time it was Felix tripping on his words which caused them both to blush as they tried to look away but seemed to be drawn back by an invisible force stronger with each attempt to shy away, “I like you.”
“I like you too,” Jisung looked down at his feet to hide his giddy smile. Yet, Felix had other plans and when Jisung noticed he turned in shock. Felix tried to kiss him, but thanks to the last second turn, he missed and got Jisung square in the cheek.
“I’ll see you later,” Felix chuckled softly as he practically ran away, leaving Jisung in a state of shock. He didn’t have time to process this; he had to shake it off, put it in the back of his head and try to get back to work. Just from that one kiss on his cheek he needed a very cold shower. His trousers hid nothing but at least Felix was in a rush to get back to work too and Jisung prayed he didn’t notice. But he couldn’t stop thinking of how Felix’s lips were just as soft and plush against his skin as he had imagined. So gentle and sweet, his body was practically lit up like a Christmas tree, sparking light, garland, the whole shebang. For the first time, he was close enough to truly take in his smell too. That was just as intoxicating as his lips, his scent was fruity and sweet but still warm in a way like some kind of spice Jisung couldn’t place. Whatever he was wearing Jisung wanted to bathe in it. It took smacking himself in the cheek multiple times before he could get himself composed enough to walk back to work. This did nothing to help the boner, however, and he didn't have time for a quick bathroom run. He just had to adjust the best he could and think about sad puppies or something on his walk back in an attempt to quell the ache between his thighs.
That night it wasn’t long after Jisung settled into bed that he picked up his phone with shaky hands to call Felix. Everything went so well today but somehow that made him all the more nervous. It felt like the phone was ringing forever before he answered but eventually Felix picked up. “Hey Sungie,” He sounded excited to hear from Jisung so that was good, “How was your day cutie?”
Jisung had to mute the phone for a moment to hide the squeal that escaped his throat involuntarily, “Great actually! I had a really fun date and then when I got back to work I actually got the promotion I applied for so looks like some of my nights are about to get longer. Front end managers have to do at least three closing shifts a week, but we get a two dollar differential for every hour past eight and it’s already a three dollar raise so I am very happy about it!” Thankfully, that wasn’t a lie. When he got back to work he was sweating bullets when the head of the store called him into the office. He figured he was going to be in trouble for being a few minutes late from lunch, but no one seemed to notice.
“Congrats Ji! Oh, is that why corporate was there today?” Felix asked.
“Nah, they were just doing some quarterly stuff. Enough about me, how's your night? Ready for the weekend?”
“About this weekend,” Jisung’s heart dropped, hearing the way he was already apologetic, “My mom tripped on a hike. I’m actually at the hospital right now. It doesn't seem serious, the doctors think it's just a sprain and a mild concussion but I’m gonna stay with her this weekend to make sure she rests. She listens to me and my sisters better but won’t listen to Dad. She's really stubborn. I’m so so—”
“No Lix, please don’t apologize,” Jisung quickly interrupted him before he could finish that sentence, “If you need anything please let me know ok. You should’ve texted me and I wouldn’t have interrupted you. Get back to your mom. She's more important but please keep me updated.”
“I actually wanted to hear your voice. It’s calming and the hospital… Ugh, everything’s beeping and driving me crazy so this is a relief. Olivia is in there with her now so she's not alone. Other than this my day was normal boring office stuff as always anyways tell me more about your promotion. I could use the distraction.”
Jisung took that as the go ahead to info dump as much as he could about his new position. All the ins and outs of how grocery stores work behind the scenes that customers don’t see. Felix fed into it asking questions that Jisung happily answered, anything to help Felix out. By the way he sounded, trying to apologize for something he never needed to, Jisung could imagine the look on his face and the mental image alone was heart breaking. Regardless of if they were dating or not, they were already good friends and Jisung just wanted to hold him.
Slowly Jisung ran out of things to tell, Felix filled that silence quickly, “I hate to ask this, are you working tomorrow? You said your schedule changed with the promotion earlier.”
“Yea I only have to work one Saturday a month. They still have paper work to do so definitely won’t be done anytime soon, you know how corporate bureaucracy works. Why?”
“Olivia just messaged me saying they are keeping her for the night. Mom needs some more testing and they want me to stay since both sisters are working. My sisters, I mean, Mom is insisting she’s fine. Would you come sit with me for a bit. Not long but just till she gets a room that's not in the ER where it's loud. I’d ask someone else I swear but everyone's working and I—”
“It’s no problem Lix, want me to bring my switch and some controllers? Could be a good distraction.” Jisung wasn’t really planning on going to sleep anytime soon. He was still running on adrenaline from earlier in the day. There also wasn’t a world where he’d say no to a friend in need and especially to Felix.
“Nah, I don’t think I can focus on playing a game right now. Do you have an extra pair of pajamas though?”
“Of course, I’ll be there in a bit.”
It wasn’t long until Jisung pulled into the hospital parking lot. It really should’ve been a lot longer but at least he didn’t get a ticket for speeding. Felix must’ve been watching for him because before Jisung could even get out of the car Felix was running up to him. The moment he stepped out, before he could even shut the door Felix crashed into him, sobbing. Jisung couldn’t find the words to say and waited for him to calm down, all the while holding onto him just as tight as Felix was.
“Is she ok?” Jisung finally asked when Felix’s breathing evened out.
“Yea,” Felix pulled back wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, “Sorry about that I didn’t want to cry in front of my sisters. I kinda held it all in.”
“It’s ok, the important thing is that she’s alright.”
“Did you…” Felix finally took a good look at Jisung, “did you come out in your pajamas?”
“Well,” Jisung protested with his hands on his hips, “I wanted to get here fast. Why? Should I have dressed up?”
“No, they actually look really good on you.”
Jisung looked down at his white stained tee shirt and plaid pajama pants with rips in the knees, confused as to how any of this could be attractive, “You must have no standards.” He finally said with a laugh.
“Or I just think you look good in anything, did ya think about that?”
“Are you really flirting with me at the hospital?!” Jisung reached up to try to hide the blush on his cheeks, but beneath the harsh LED street lights of the parking lot, it was useless.
“I’ve always flirted with you! From day one,” Felix protested, “Do you really expect that to change.”
“You have?” He has? Jisung surely didn’t catch on to it at all.
“Why do you think I gave you my number so quickly when we ran into each other at the bar?”
“In my defense, I was drunk and sad.”
“There’s no defense for missing it for weeks on end though. You probably have so many people fawning over you, you probably didn’t notice it, right?” Felix nudged him with his elbow as they began to walk towards the main ER entrance.
“Unless you count all the old cougars that hit on me at work, not really,” Or at least not that he had noticed, “I’ve really only been in a few relationships actually. You know, can I tell you something?”
“Sure anything, but honestly, I don’t believe that there’s no way people aren't all over you. Anyways, go ahead.” Felix turned around, walking backwards to face Jisung as he spoke.
“Everyone I have ever been with has left me because I am virgin, so I—” Felix tripped as he was walking backwards, but quickly saved himself by grabbing one of the lamp poles, “See, everyone acts so shocked.”
“First off I tripped cause my shoe is untied,” Felix pointed out as he bent down to fix it, “Second, that’s fucking horrible. What kind of person would leave you over something like that.”
“Everyone so far,” Jisung sighed, relieved a bit now that it was out and Felix seemed to be ok with it but he was also super emotional at the moment so Jisung took it with a grain of salt, “If it’s ever a deal breaker with you you’ll let me down gently right?”
“TBH,” He stated dramatically, “I don’t give a flying fuck if you’ve fucked zero people or a hundred as long as you're clean I really do not care. You can gain experience, but people can’t learn basic decency you have it or you don't.”
“Clean as a whistle I can promise you that,” Jisung chuckled, the confidence in his steps returning as they were almost at the entrance.
“I’d like to blow that whistle.”
Jisung’s eyes flew wide open, hands to mouth to stifle his shocked reaction as they entered the hospital. “We're at a hospital,” Jisung finally scream-whispered.
“Thanks I know, see this is why I asked you to be here. It's fun to see you flustered.”
“Uh, suuuureee.”
Oh how the tables turned after they checked in. Felix went in the room quickly and stood by his mom as Jisung trailed behind slowly, introducing himself to Felix’s sisters as his friend and offering his thoughts for the situation they were in. It was his mom that was the shocker. Jisung introduced himself to her standing beside Felix, their shoulders barely touching. It was definitely an unorthodox way to meet her but as far as Jisung knew, he was a stranger to her. Until she introduced herself, “You can just call me Mom, You’re the new boyfriend he’s been talking about right?”
“Moooom,” Felix whined as his sisters giggled in the background as they were leaving, “I told you nothing was official yet, chill.”
“I think it’s pretty clear, he showed up to sit with us here cause you are too stubborn to go home so he must like you a lot, just saying.” Jisung looked over to Felix who was completely beet red as he tried to formulate an argument but it seemed he couldn’t find one. Felix was right; it's fun to see people flustered.
“Boyfriend, friend whatever, I am just glad you’re ok. But for the record I do like your son a lot.”
“He won’t shut up about you, it's really cute. I haven’t seen him this smitten in a while. You boys don’t need to stay with me, I'll be fine.”
“Mom, I am staying, end of story. I know you’d try to AMA out of here the second I left.”
“And I’ll stay as long as Felix wants me to. From what I hear you are very stubborn but you have good kids that just want you to get better so I kinda have to side with them.”
Jisung kept to his word. Even after Felix fell asleep Jisung stayed and let him rest against his shoulder until he followed suit even if these chairs were super uncomfortable. At least they didn’t have to deal with the beeping once they got upstairs. It was just the constant comments from Felix’s mom that had them both flustered. She was really sweet but so blunt with her comments to them at least they were all good things. The rest of the morning at the hospital was truly full of all the good things. They finished all the testing and nothing was serious enough to keep her. So as hospitals do the moment she was cleared she was discharged home to make room for the next patient. His mom even invited Jisung to follow them home, she knew about their plans and said it would’ve been a shame if her being sick ruined them. Essentially guilting them into keeping their plans, but for good reason. She truly was just fine. The sprain would heal with rest and time as would the concussion. Jisung being there would also offer an extra ear to listen out in case she tried to do things for herself rather than asking for help.
Still in their pajamas from the night before, they climbed into the spare bed to play games. Even though Felix said it was fine to leave the switch at home, Jisung was glad he didn’t. They played Splatoon together for hours and then Felix introduced him to Genshin which would quickly become an obsession Jisung could see it coming. Good thing he’s getting a raise as soon as that paper work goes through.
“Hey I have a question,” Jisung asked, propping himself up in bed as Felix came back into the room after grabbing his mom a drink.
“Sure, what’s up, buttercup,” Felix responded joyfully as he plopped back down picking right back up where he left off on Genshin.
“Are we boyfriends? I meant to ask last night but so much is happening and when your mom asked if I was your boyfriend I was a little shocked and I just want things to be you know clear,” He stammered out, no longer paying attention to the game despite his character being ruthlessly attacked.
“First off don’t die,” Felix snatched the phone from Jisung’s hand, beating the Hilichurls quickly before returning it, “Second, I’m comfortable with whatever you want. I don’t want to rush you but I also really like you so what do you think about it?”
“I like it, you know, being someones… your boyfriend. I’m just nervous. I've never truly had a good one. You’ve been nothing but nice and sweet to me so yea maybe. What about you?”
To Jisung’s surprise Felix rolled over and climbed on top of him, legs on either side of Jisung’s hips as he looked down. Their faces just a breath away from each other, “Can I show you instead?”
Jisung just gulped and nodded vigorously until Felix grinned widely and finally took mercy on him and closed the distance. It was like fireworks exploding beneath his skin, everything… literally everything stood at attention as Felix moved his lip gently. Jisung returned the affection the best he could. It was uncoordinated and messy but full of so much genuine care and tenderness. As messy as it was, it was so sweet… until it wasn’t. Felix snaked his hand to the back of Jisung’s neck pulling him closer as he bit his bottom lip pulling it through his teeth with just enough force to sting but not to hurt. It was hot… way too hot. All the blood rushed to Jisung’s dick and exploded. He couldn’t hide it, the whine that escaped, the way his face twisted or the wet spot that formed on his pajama pants which unfortunately Felix was looking directly at. Jisung turned quickly to fling Felix off so that he could curl up, hide and cry. Even if he was a virgin coming from a barely heated make out was absolutely pathetic. It all but confirmed his thoughts when Felix left the room. Once he was done crying Jisung would leave and never look back he would have to be a loner the rest of his life. He had this happen before with previous boyfriends but never so quickly. That’s when they all found out he was a virgin and left. Felix didn’t know that exactly but he didn’t need to because Jisung was just going to disappear.
“Sungie,” Felix's voice was soft as he called out, cutting through the sound of Jisung’s rapid huffs and sniffles, “I brought you a wash rag and some clean clothes. I’m going to leave them on the bed for you and I’ll be back with snacks.”
Jisung couldn’t even mumble a feeble thank you before he heard the door shut behind Felix. This could be his chance to run but that feeling was subsiding rather quickly despite it being so strong moments ago. There was no snickering from Felix, no jokes, just genuine understanding. It was weird only for the fact he had never experienced it before but it was what any decent human being should do for someone they cared about. That was enough to make Jisung stay and clean himself up. Once he was done as promised Felix was back with snacks and drinks. Jisung didn’t care about those right now he couldn’t eat with his mind running at a million miles per hour. “Wanna talk about it?”
Yes. No. Maybe. Ignoring it for eternity potentially that was still an option, “I’m sorry,” instead was the only thing he could say. Of course Felix laughed at it, why wouldn’t he… this was down right embarrassing.
“No, oh god I swear I am not laughing at you I swear please no don’t get me wrong ok?” Felix said, gently swiping the hair out of Jisung’s eyes, “That was actually kinda hot. I’m laughing at the situation you have nothing to apologize for.”
“At the situation?” Jisung repeated back, not letting his guard down just yet. In fact he wrapped his arms even tighter around his middle section to ground him from breaking down further.
“You're embarrassed about something I find exceedingly hot and also not to mention the biggest compliment too. There’s nothing to cry ‘bout babe.”
“Really?” Jisung’s grip on himself loosened and Felix must’ve noticed the subtle shift and pulled at Jisung’s arms until they were untangled. He laced their hands together, holding onto Jisung with such tenderness and let the silence linger for a brief moment. It was as if he had to gather his thoughts as well.
“I don’t like the part where you are crying and someone has made you feel like you need to be ashamed of this. It’s nothing to be ashamed of at all. I want you to know right here and now, in front of me there’s nothing you need to hide from me or be ashamed of. I really like you… all of you. So nothing you say can change that, unless you are like a serial killer or something. Well wait you with a weapon... absolutely deranged... that might actually be hot too—”
“FELIX!” Jisung playfully smacked Felix’s shoulder interrupting his thought process.
“What you’re hot, not my fault,” He shrugged, playing off the stupid comment, “Anyways, deal? I’m not gonna leave, unless you want me too and even then I’d probably still fight you.”
“Can you answer my question first?” Jisung wiggled a bit as his confidence seemed to find him again. He still wanted to shrink down to nothing. However, the way Felix was finding ways to keep them connected even if it was just their knees pressing together as they sat cross-legged on the bed, it brought him back to the moment and out of the spirals his mind desperately tried to fling him down.
“Anything.” Felix leaned in closer, giving Jisung his full attention.
“So are we boyfriends?”
“You just came in your pants, in my mom's spare bedroom… I just told you I’m not leaving, what do you think?” He giggled almost shyly even if he was trying to poke fun at the situation he still seemed, as his mom said, smitten.
“But pleaasseee,” Jisung whined, “I just wanna hear you say it.”
“Yes, we’re boyfriends silly.” Felix’s cheeks blossomed a sweet cherry red as he kissed Jisung’s cheeks which rapidly reddened as well from the tender contact, “Now can we be boyfriends snacking and playing games together?”
“How about I be the boyfriend that beats you so badly at smash bros you rage quit?” Jisung rolled to the other side of the bed comically and uncoordinated, almost as if he were straight out of a cartoon to grab his nintendo switch. The mood was light again and he didn’t feel like running away. Embarrassed? Yes of course but it was easier to deal with knowing Felix was by his side. Even though Jisung can’t even fathom how that was hot, he had other things on his brain now thankfully. Gaming and snacking with his new boyfriend would be plenty of a distraction for him.
“Oh, you're on!!! Loser orders delivery for dinner!”
“Well get your credit card ready to cry baaaabbby!”