Work Text:
Shinobu Kochou kept a strict list of things she liked. Shinazugawa would probably say it’s pretty easy for her to do that since there are so few things on that list. He wouldn’t be wrong in saying that, but Shinobu detested the sentiment.
Her sister Kanae always said, “Shinobu, you’re a fighter, not a lover.” Shinobu would always argue back, “No! I’m not the problem; it’s that everyone else is useless!” She later realized that was not a good argument and decided to accept her fate as a hater.
The short list of things she liked went:
- Her sisters, Kanae and Kanao
- Her best friend Mitsuri
- Her research
- Butterflies
- Purple
- The rest of her acquaintances
Ever since beginning her PhD, studying alternative drug delivery methods, she had attempted to quell her temper, deciding to approach every day with a smile. While all of her college acquaintances (not friends, Kanae!) were remarkably put off by this change in personality, they knew her anger was bubbling right under the surface.
What they also knew were some of the items on the equally detailed but much longer list of things she absolutely fucking despised. This list included, but was not limited to:
- Her family dying
- Kanao’s teacher, who didn’t respect her accommodations
- Tomioka Giyuu
- The professor who gave her an A- freshman year of undergrad
- The ocean
- Western blots
And the item most relevant to this instance…teaching.
As part of her PhD program, Shinobu had to teach students. Idiotic, brainless students who wouldn’t fucking listen. It would be fine if she were teaching a higher-level psychopharmacology class or a grad-level seminar, but since she was a mere PhD student, she was stuck teaching introductory biochemistry to a huge lecture hall of bored undeclareds and pre-meds, who would soon decide that that career was too hard for them.
She dreaded every Tuesday and Thursday when she would have to walk into that class of 100, plaster on a smile, and pretend like she didn’t want to murder each and every student in that class. Okay, maybe not all of them, but most of them.
Even worse than class was the hour after, in which she held office hours. The best days were the ones when no one would show up, and she would eat lunch (usually prepared lovingly by Kanao, when she wasn’t busy with her classes) alone in her office. The worst days were a tie between the times that people would show up and demand she repeat everything she had just said in the two-hour class and the people who would show up and recite everything she had just said in the two-hour class for no reason. They didn’t need help, and they didn’t have any interesting questions, so their presence was simply wasting her time.
But, as a teacher, it was her job to educate these buffoons, despite her ire.
She tried her hardest not to complain, but sometimes she encountered something so incredibly baffling that she had to tell someone.
“Mitsuri, you will not believe what my student said today.”
“Nice to hear from you too, Shinobu. My day was great! How was yours?” Mitsuri’s voice was distorted through the speakers in Shinobu’s car, but her exuberance was clear. “Oh! Obanai is here with me. Say hi to Shinobu, Obanai!”
Shinobu faintly heard Iguro in the background saying, “Hello, Kochou.”
“Are you busy right now?” Shinobu asked, suddenly aware of the abruptness of her call, “I can call you back later.”
“Nonsense! What’s up?”
Taking this as an indication to continue, Shinobu launched into an impassioned rant.
“I was teaching the students about Michaelis-Menten kinetics today, for the third time, and so many people were still confused! It’s not that hard! Kanao understood it easily when I taught her!”
Mitsuri hummed in a sympathetic manner.
“And then! And then, Mitsuri, you’re not going to believe the audacity of this little shit! One of my students asked me to hold extra office hours. Extra office hours! Like I would ever spend more of my life with these ungrateful brats.”
Before she could continue spitting more insults towards her students, Mitsuri interrupted.
“Maybe you should try teaching it a different way? Like, maybe more active participation could help? Or graphs instead of words?”
“You don’t understand, Mitsuri. Children are infuriating!”
“Really? I don’t understand?”
Oh shit, Shinobu thought. It was always a bad sign when Mitsuri got irritated. In her rage, Shinobu had conveniently forgotten that Mitsuri was, in fact, a kindergarten teacher and knew exactly how infuriating children were.
“Your children are different, though.” Shinobu defended, “They’re at least endearing because they’re young.”
Mitsuri sighed, and Shinobu heard a muffled conversation on her end.
“I’m not going to argue with you, Shinobu, but Obanai agrees with me,” Mitsuri said.
“Iguro is a herpetologist. He does not get any input in this conversation.”
“Kochou has a point,” said Iguro, in his usual monotone.
“You were supposed to be on my side, Obanai!”
“I intentionally chose to work with snakes, not children, for a reason.”
Shinobu rounded the corner onto her street.
“Perhaps…perhaps I will take your advice into consideration, Mitsuri,” she conceded.
“Thank you! I’m glad you’ve calmed down enough to realize that I’m right!”
“I never said that,” replied Shinobu.
“She did not ever say that,” Iguro agreed.
“What the hell, Obanai! You’re supposed to be agreeing with me!” Mitsuri protested.
“I’m just stating facts. Why do I have to agree with you?”
“Because I’m paying for your new salamander!”
“Touche.”
Shinobu pulled into her driveway, noticing that Kanao and Kanae were both home already.
“I’m home now. Thank you for listening and for your advice, Mitsuri. Bye to you, Iguro, as well.”
“No problem, Shinobu! Love you!” Mitsuri said cheerfully.
Shinobu hung up, making a note to update her slides with more graphs and move Mitsuri Kanroji even higher on her list of likes. Perhaps one day she would even expand the list of likes to include teaching, although that seemed extremely unlikely.