Work Text:
Sukuna gets the call—several calls—while he’s doing the dishes. He glances at his phone on the countertop.
Unknown number. He lets it ring.
Lets it ring two more times. It would have been a third, but Yuuji groans from the couch.
“Ryo, come on.” He holds up his controller with a glare. “You’re making me lose.”
The blaring sounds of Super Smash Bros reach his ears. Home for his college’s winter break and Yuuji has done jack shit, parking his ass on the couch and playing video games for hours.
Sukuna raises an eyebrow. “Thought you’d be better at it by now, all that time you’re logging.”
“Shut up.” Yuuji turns back to the screen, mashing the buttons furiously. “Answer the phone before he knocks me off the stage!”
“Fucking brat,” Sukuna says without heat, picking up the phone and thumbing the answer icon.
“What?”
“Hello, I’m calling from Northshore Regional Hospital. Is this Sukuna Ryomen, the emergency contact of—”
“Yes,” Sukuna interrupts, hands starting to shake. Sukuna’s only listed as the emergency contact for two people: you, and the brat sitting on his couch. “I’m her emergency contact. Is—is she—what happened?”
But he knows, he already fucking knows.
“She was in a car accident.”
Sukuna’s world blurs at the edges.
Car accident. He’s been here before.
He knows what happens next. Soon the police will come knocking at his door and Wasuke will sit his fourteen year old grandson down and tell Sukuna that his parents, that Mom and Dad are—
“Sukuna? Hello?”
“I’m here.” No, he isn’t. Not really.
He forces himself to get it together.
If you were—it would be the police, he reminds himself with gritted teeth. Not police on the phone, hospital.
“She has a broken arm and a concussion, she’s unconscious now.”
He is fourteen, and gripped with fear. “But she—she’s gonna wake up?”
“We expect her to. Visiting hours end at nine pm, if you want to come see her.”
“Okay.” The woman on the other end of the line disconnects.
Sukuna puts his phone down, grips the edges countertop. A panic, a sheer terror he’d buried years ago claws its way out of the dirt.
It overwhelms him. There is nothing but the fear, the urge to hide, despite knowing he has nowhere to go, that the knowledge of what happened to you will reach him everywhere. Sukuna is powerless.
Vomit reaches up his throat.
He is fourteen, and all of a sudden, he is alone.
“Ryo?” A hand shakes him. “Ryo are you okay?” Yuuji asks.
Sukuna inhales sharply. He looks at Yuuji with something on his face, he doesn’t know what.
Yuuji’s expression hardens. Wordlessly, he hands Sukuna a bottle cap that was lying on the counter. Sukuna takes it, immediately drags his thumb over the sharp edge.
Yuuji gives him a few moments.
“What happened?”
Sukuna bites his tongue, tastes blood.
Yuuji looks at him carefully. “I heard…is it—”
“Yeah,” Sukuna interrupts. “Yeah. She…car accident.”
Yuuji gasps, eyes flying wide. Sukuna’s still looking at him with something on his face.
“Hospital?” Yuuji clarifies.
“Yeah.”
Yuuji nods, determined. “Okay, let’s go.” He goes to put his shoes on.
Sukuna stays where he is, rigid, motionless.
Yuuji comes over, shoes on, jacket on, hat on against the cold. “Ryo, let’s go.”
He stares blankly at Yuuji. He—he can’t face it.
“I…”
His little cousin looks at him gently. Only not so little, anymore: Yuuji’s eyes are almost level with his own. “What’d they say? On the phone?”
“Broken arm,” Sukuna mumbles. “Concussion, she’s…unconscious.”
Yuuji’s eyes narrow. “Gonna wake up?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” Yuuji nods forcefully. “Let’s be there when she wakes up, c’mon.”
C’mon.
“Okay,” Sukuna grunts, putting on his shoes and coat.
Outside, Yuuji raises an eyebrow. “Want me to drive?”
That snaps Sukuna back to full capacity. “No.” He shoots Yuuji a withering glare.
“There he is,” Yuuji laughs under his breath.
Sukuna gets them on the road, and then there are three horrible minutes of silence. He white-knuckles the steering wheel and desperately tries to keep his thoughts from sliding away.
What the fuck are you going to look like, tucked into a hospital bed?
Then Yuuji grabs the aux cord and connects his phone. Soon, the most god-awful sugarpop music is blasting through his speakers.
He glares at Yuuji, who grins innocently.
“This is garbage,” Sukuna says flatly.
Yuuji shrugs. “Well, everyone at my school says it’s the future of music.”
“Then you go to school with fucking morons,” Sukuna mutters. “Why’re we paying so much money to send you there if everyone’s stone dumb?”
“Because it’s going to be pivotal to my success, actually,” Yuuji informs him. “Didn’t you know?”
“Ha!” Sukuna barks. “You just like it ‘cause you can get laid.”
He’s expecting Yuuji to scoff, mumbling under his breath. Instead, the kid squeaks, cheeks turning bright red.
Oh-ho. Sukuna raises an eyebrow, smirking. “Got something you wanna share, little man?”
“No.”
“Relax, brat, I’m not fucking Wasuke, remember?” Sukuna rolls out his shoulders.
He gives Yuuji a few moments. Then—
“You gettin’ pussy? Dick?”
“When we get out of this car I will kill you,” Yuuji mutters.
“Some of each?” Sukuna continues gleefully.
“I am going to dislocate your shoulder, I swear.”
Sukuna howls like a hyena. “S’good,” he says when his laughter dies down. “That you’re—”he waves a hand in his direction. “One of the best things about college.”
“Really,” Yuuji deadpans.
He shrugs, turning serious. “Yeah. Gives you a chance to start figuring all that out.” He smiles crookedly. “Part of leaving home, brat.”
Yuuji scoffs, turning to look out the window.
Sukuna lets a few minutes slide by. The brat’s clammed up tight, won’t let anything slip.
Huh. He’s never really talked with Yuuji about this stuff; girls or guys or any of it. It just…never came up.
He considers that for a moment.
“You using protection?”
Yuuji hesitates, then nods.
“Good.” Sukuna thinks for a moment. “If you need to buy condoms, put it on the credit card.”
Yuuji shoots Sukuna a look. He shrugs again. Sukuna can shell out so the brat doesn’t end up with HIV. Or an unplanned pregnancy.
“Anything happens, you call immediately,” he says, suddenly serious.
“Uh…” Yuuji looks around furtively.
“I mean it,” Sukuna continues. “I’m not gonna fucking care, okay? Call, we’ll figure it out.” He thinks for a moment. “She can probably tell you more about birth contr—”
Reality hits like a truck.
Sukuna realizes they’re at the hospital.
Yuuji kept him distracted all the way to the hospital. Kid’s a genius.
“S’alright, Ryo. Park the car.”
Sukuna nods.
He parks the car.
Forces himself through those sliding glass doors. Presents his ID. Gets a sticker with his name on it.
Moves sluggishly through the ICU until they find your bed.
And there you are. Scratchy, shitty blanket pulled up to your shoulders, bandaged head lolling to the side.
Arm in a cast, eyes closed.
It hits like a bullet, right between his eyes. He almost stumbles.
He’s fourteen again, and so small.
“Ryo.” Yuuji bumps his shoulder against Sukuna’s. “Ryo, nurse is trying to talk to you.”
He tries to clear his head. “What?”
“Hello,” the nurse watches him carefully. “Are you Sukuna Ryomen, the emergency contact?”
“I…yeah.”
“Okay, great! I’m Crystal, I’m her nurse for the evening. Are you her…”
“Boyfriend.” Sukuna grits out.
“Great, thank you. I’m going to tell you about her condition, okay?”
Sukuna nods.
The nurse speaks slowly and clearly as she explains what happened. You were T-boned on the passenger side, car totaled.
Sukuna has to stop for a moment there, because he’s a mechanic. He’s seen what cars look like after getting T-boned, seen how the interior is warped and crushed, and so is the person in the driver’s seat.
The nurse must sense his panic rising, because she adds: “The car and the airbag did their jobs. Her arm took the brunt of the impact, and it was a clean break. No need for surgery.”
Sukuna breathes out slowly. He gestures to you in the hospital bed; knocked out.
The nurse—Crystal—takes it in stride. “Right. Also a concussion. Moderate swelling, no bleeding, which is a good sign.”
Sure it is. “When will she wake up?”
“We can’t know for certain.” Crystal checks her watch. “She received the injury an hour and a half ago. With the kind of injury she sustained, she may wake up in the next four and a half hours.”
It’s six. So that’s—ten thirty.
Visiting hours end at nine. He swallows uneasily.
Sukuna really, really needs to see you wake up.
“Of course, that’s no guarantee,” Crystal says apologetically. “It could take longer.”
Even better.
“Is there—anything?” Sukuna asks lamely.
Crystal smiles gently, shaking her head. “Not really anything else I can tell you right now. If there’s a change in her condition, we’ll go from there.”
If there’s a change. Sukuna realizes they’re dancing around the possibility that you might not wake up.
He bites his tongue, tastes blood.
Fear, again. Nowhere to hide.
Yuuji speaks up next to him. “Thank you,” he says earnestly.
Then he lightly pushes Sukuna into the chair by your bed.
“Of course! There’s the call button, let me know if you need anything.” With that, Crystal makes her exit.
Yuuji immediately parks himself on the floor at Sukuna’s feet, leaning against your bed. He puts one of the drawstrings of his hoodie into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
“They’re not saying it, but she might not wake up,” Sukuna growls, wanting to—to prepare Yuuji, or something.
The kid glances at him. “Yeah, I got that, too.”
Confirmation. The pit of fear grows. Sukuna could puke.
“But I think she’ll wake up,” he says decisively.
Sukuna lets out a dry, strangled laugh. “How the fuck do you know that?”
Yuuji shrugs. “Nurse said moderate swelling. A guy on my floor got a concussion last month; he got drunk and ran into a wall. He said he had moderate swelling, too, and he woke up that day.” Yuuji thinks for a moment. “And he probably had alcohol poisoning, so Miss Teacher will be in much better shape.”
A kid ran into a wall, huh? “How’d that happen?”
“Oh man, Ryo, it was so funny.” Yuuji shakes his head, laughing. “Someone dared him to run into a wall.”
School full of morons. And Yuuji, king moron himself.
The pit of fear spreads. “Brat, if you get yourself a concussion doing stupid shit like that, I will kill you,” Sukuna snarls. “I will pull you out of that moron school and ‘Miss Teacher’ will homeschool you for the rest of your life.”
Yuuji cocks an eye at him. “Chill, Ryo. I’m not that stupid.”
Chill, Ryo. Sukuna wants to break a finger.
After a few minutes, Yuuji pipes up again. “That kid had amnesia for a bit, it was so weird.”
Sukuna’s stomach pitches. “What?”
Yuuji immediately realizes his mistake. “Yeah, he just couldn’t remember the week before the accident. But, like, only for a few days,” he says, trying to placate Sukuna. “Then he remembered everything, it was fine.”
Holy shit. Amnesia?
“Plus, alcohol poisoning,” Yuuji reminds him, now sounding slightly nervous. “She’ll probably be fine.”
Sukuna’s face is doing that something again. He digs his forearms into his thighs and hangs his head in hands, pressing his palms into his eyes.
The black pit of fear widens its maw.
Sukuna grits his teeth. “Guess we’ll just have to wait for her to wake up.”
Which you do, thank god.
An hour and a half later.
Sukuna’s staring at nothing when you let a groan. Yuuji darts to his feet, and Sukuna’s fingers slam the call button.
Crystal appears a moment later, assessing you in the bed. “Ma’am?” she says softly.
You open your eyes and immediately squeeze them shut, grimacing. “Ow, fuck.”
There you are. Sukuna’s stomach loosens.
“You don’t have to open your eyes,” Crystal reassures you. “The light might be painful. We’re all just glad you’re awake.”
Sukuna’s so relieved he might cry. Yuuji sniffles bravely at the foot of your bed.
“Is this…” you trail off.
“You’re in the hospital,” Crystal confirms.
“Why am I in the hospital?” you croak.
Sukuna’s hands clench into fists. You sound so fucking scared.
“You were in a car accident,” Crystal says gently.
You suck in a sharp breath. The heart rate monitor beside Sukuna ticks up.
“But you’re awake now,” Crystal soothes. “You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”
“Okay,” you say thickly.
“You have some visitors,” she continues. “Can you tell me who they are?”
Your eyes open a crack, alighting on Yuuji. “That’s Itadori Yuuji, he’s in my class.”
What?
Sukuna narrows his eyes, and Yuuji looks to him, confused.
Crystal clocks it and stretches up to whisper in Sukuna’s ear.
“Was that wrong?”
“Yuuji was in her class three years ago,” he rumbles quietly.
Crystal’s expression hardens. “How old is Yuuji?” she asks you.
“He’ll be fifteen in a few months.” You’ve closed your eyes by now. Yuuji shakes his head at Crystal.
Sukuna feels the noose start to tighten.
Crystal opens her mouth, but you beat her to it. “Yuuji, what are you doing here? Why are you at the hospital, does Wasuke know you’re here?”
Yuuji gasps. Sukuna’s heart calcifies.
Crystal stretches up again. “Died three years ago,” Sukuna mutters, like his world isn’t coming apart at the seams.
Sukuna only met you after Wasuke bit it. Which means—
“Do you know this man?” Crystal asks.
You open your eyes again, turning towards him.
His head’s on the block, and you’re holding the axe. Sukuna tenses, tries to ready himself for the blow.
Your stare is blank. He can tell already.
You don’t recognize him.
Axe in your hand, and you don’t falter. “No.”
Quick and clean. Severed Sukuna at the shoulders, severed his head from his feet planted in the only reality he wants to live in, the one where you know his name.
He hears Yuuji’s teeth clack. He feels like he’s been dropped from a cliff.
The black pit of fear is there to catch him, swallowing him greedily.
He is fourteen, and he is alone.
“Who is that?” you ask carefully.
Sukuna can’t do this.
“That’s Ry—Sukuna,” Yuuji pipes up. “My older cousin.”
“Oh. Nice to meet you,” you say with a grimace of pain, closing your eyes.
Holy fuck.
Sukuna clears his throat. “We’ve met before,” he rasps.
Crystal eyes him.
You’re caught off guard. “Wh—what?”
“You have a concussion,” Crystal says slowly, softly. “Sometimes, that can cause memory loss.”
“Memory loss?” your voice quivers.
The heart rate monitor beeps even faster.
Crystal eyes it warily. “Yes,” she confirms. “It’s often temporary.”
“Oh—okay,” you say weakly. “Um, do you know how—” your voice breaks. “How much I can’t remember?” You’re on the verge of tears
Crystal looks to Sukuna.
“Three years.”
Your eyes fly open. “Three years?” You look at him with such fear and confusion that he instinctively reaches for your hand, lying on the bed.
You flinch away.
The punch rattles from his head to his toes. Sukuna feels like he’s dying.
Your heart rate monitor jacks up. Crystal watches it closely.
“Who—” you’re still looking at Sukuna. “Who are you?”
He knows what you mean.
“I’m your boyfriend,” he says through clenched teeth.
Your heart rate spikes.
“What?” you whisper, terrified. “I—I can’t remember.” Tears roll down your cheeks, and your breath comes thick and fast. You start to tremble.
Crystal’s at his ear again. “She’s too agitated,” she mutters. “If she keeps shaking, the pressure in her brain could increase; that’s life threatening. She needs to calm down.”
Sukuna looks at her blankly. He can’t exactly help with that right fucking now.
Crystal nods. “I know. We can sedate her, but we need her consent.”
They both turn to look at you. You’re sobbing, shaking like a leaf.
She turns back to him. “If we can’t get her consent, we have to attempt to contact her health care proxy.”
Sukuna blanches.
Shit. That’s definitely your mom.
They can’t contact your fucking mom right now. That’s the last thing you need.
He quickly reaches across the bed and grabs your hand, holding tight. You look up at him in terror.
“Sweetheart,” he murmurs. “They want to put you back under.”
“What?” you say, aghast. You’re still trembling.
“Just for a few hours,” Crystal says encouragingly. “We want to give your brain time to heal. But we need you to consent.”
“But—” you take a shuddering breath. “I can’t, I don’t know!”
“I know, sweetheart, I know,” he says soothingly. You stare at him, lip wobbling. “But if you can’t make a decision,” he pulls in a deep breath, looks at you seriously. “They’re gonna call your mom.”
That stops you dead, as he knew it would. Doesn’t matter if your brain is stuck three years in the past or ten in the future. In this life and the next, you never want your mother involved.
“Oh—okay.” You nod, still shaking. “Uh, you—you think I need to…be sedated?” You look at Crystal.
“I do. I think it’s what’s best to protect your brain at this time,” she explains gently.
“Okay.” You sniffle, glancing at Sukuna fearfully. “Oh—okay. I give consent.”
Crystal pulls a clipboard of nowhere. “Sign here, love.” You pull your hand from Sukuna’s to scrawl your name, then quickly grab it again. Something burns bright, just for a moment.
Placing the form on a table, Crystal busies herself with your IV drip. You stare at the line taped to your hand.
He rubs his thumb over your knuckles. “It’ll be okay, sweets,” he rumbles, low in his chest. “You’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” Your eyes are already starting to close.
“See you when you wake up.”
And then you’re out.
Sukuna stares at your hand in his. The world tips off its axis.
You don’t know him. You don’t remember the three—three years. With him.
You don’t remember—anything.
This is a waking nightmare.
“Sukuna?”
He chokes down a swell of vomit, raising his eyes to Crystal. Sukuna tries to wipe the something off his face, but she must catch it, because her face softens.
“This kind of amnesia is extremely common,” she says in the soft, reassuring voice she used on you. “People often regain their memories within weeks, maybe even days.”
Weeks.
“With head injuries, everything is one day at a time,” she continues, looking at him seriously. “Things may change tomorrow. I’m not saying they will, but, remember, it’s day to day.” She glances at the IV bag hanging above you. “She’ll be out until morning, let’s see what happens then.”
Let’s see what happens.
Let’s see if you remember the man who coaxed you into falling in love with him, because as soon as Sukuna realized he was in love with you, he knew he couldn’t eat that overwhelming, impossible feeling alone.
Let’s see if you remember the time he’s spent changing and pushing himself to become the sort of person who belongs in your life, just how you’ve changed to become the sort of person who belongs in his.
Let’s see if you remember why Sukuna’s your emergency contact—only for you and Yuuji—and you’re his.
If you don’t, Sukuna’s life will shatter like it’s been dropped from a great height.
Dead on impact.
Crystal’s still looking at him. He swallows uneasily.
“Okay.” His voice is unrecognizable. “Thanks.”
Sukuna looks to Yuuji. The kid nods, looking determined through red-rimmed eyes.
Silently, the two of them walk through the ICU and out of the hospital.
Yuuji coughs. “Want me to drive?”
Sukuna hands him the keys.
He gets in the passenger seat, clicks his seatbelt, and then there’s nothing to do but let despair take him.
Nowhere to run.
It slops onto his head and trickles down his back; pours into his socks and stuffs itself up his nose until he feels like he’s suffocating.
Reaches up to cover his eyes and then that’s it.
Sukuna’s completely covered. Blind. Can’t see a way out, can’t imagine the possibility of you waking up and remembering who he is, what he’s made himself to you.
All he has is the bitingly cold, rigid certainty that he is alone.
He bites his tongue, tastes blood.
The fear envelops him from head to toe. And the only person he wants to talk to about it doesn’t know who the fuck he is.
“Ryo,” Yuuji says quietly.
His eyes only make it as far as the steering wheel.
“Hold out until tomorrow.”
Sukuna manages a nod.
Anguish holds him by the hair until they get home.
Inside, Yuuji taps him on the shoulder. “You going to bed?”
The something’s back on his face.
“Wanna play video games?”
Sukuna exhales slowly. “Yeah, brat. I guess I do.”
They play smash until Sukuna passes out, already dreading the next morning.
•••
Abruptly, you’re awake.
That’s the thing with sedatives, you reason, gritting your teeth. Unnatural sleep. Slamming you from one moment to the next.
Ugh. You feel like shit. Your head hurts like a motherfucker.
Like you’d slammed it into the window of your car or something, you think grimly.
Shifting lightly under the blanket, you crack your eyes open, just enough to see two shocks of pink hair above anxious faces.
The light fucking burns. You close your eyes with a hiss.
“Hey, Ryo,” you mutter.
Sukuna gives an inhumane, choked-off howl. His body shifts next to you, and then his head is on your chest, face buried in your neck. He’s shaking like a leaf, and you feel hot tears slide onto your skin.
Wha—oh.
That’s right. You’d forgotten.
Eyes still closed, you turn and rub your face into his hair. “‘M so sorry, honey,” you whisper into his ear.
Sukuna grunts, hand finding yours on the bed and squeezing tightly.
Your head pounds. God, what fucking nightmare.
“Ma’am?” Peeling your eyes open, you see the nurse from yesterday, Crystal.
“Hi,” you croak.
“Hi, love. Glad you’re awake.” She smiles at you. “What can you tell me about yesterday?”
Your eyes slide closed. “Car accident. Couldn’t remember. You put me back to sleep.”
And almost called your fucking mom. Thank god Sukuna had kept that from happening.
“You bet I did.” Crystal sounds extremely satisfied. “Now, who are these visitors?”
You push a tiny smile into Sukuna’s hair. “It’s Sukuna Ryomen and Mister College Kid himself.”
“That’s me,” Yuuji speaks up happily. “Hey, Miss Teacher.”
“Hey, kiddo.” You try to grin at where you think Yuuji is, but end up wincing. “Ouch, fuck.”
“How do you know it’s them?” Crystal asks.
Your lips twitch in annoyance. You know she’s just doing her job, but come on.
“They have pink hair. Its process of elimination at this point.”
Sukuna snorts.
“Fair enough,” Crystal says easily. “How old is Yuuji?”
Right. The hit set you back three years. “He’s eighteen.”
“Where does he study?”
“Jujutsu Tech.”
“What subject does he study?”
You laugh. “Fryin’ eggs and fuckin’ around, it’s his first semester.” Opening your eyes, you smile at her so she knows she’s in on the joke.
Her lips tick up in a grin while Yuuji cackles. “Glad you’re back, love.”
“Yeah.” Your head falls back against Sukuna’s. “Me too.”
There are a battery of tests, including an x-ray and an MRI, and then it’s just the three of you, screened off from the rest of the ICU by the thick, hanging curtain.
Sukuna’s sitting in the chair next to you, hand still gripping yours. Yuuji’s standing at the foot of the bed, fidgeting as he looks at his phone.
Your eyes are still closed, but you clear your throat to get Sukuna’s attention.
You take a deep breath, forcing yourself not to dig your nails into his hand. It’s nerve-wracking, but. But you have to ask.
You don’t remember—
The. The accident. Not really.
But you could. If you thought about it hard enough. Memories are fuzzy, on the edge of your consciousness.
But they’re there. You could find them, if you looked.
But you don’t want to.
But, you need to know more.
Sukuna must know something. Something that you can handle.
The details of your accident have been plaguing you, but for some reason, this is the question that’s been driving you insane.
“My car?” you ask Sukuna hesitantly.
“Totaled,” he grunts.
“What?” you open your eyes to look at him wildly.
He raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. “You got T-boned, sweets. That’s not a fucking fender bender.”
“I had shit in there!” you cry. “My work laptop, my good pair of pants, that one phone charger that went really fast!” All of these seem tremendously important.
You try to raise your arm to gesture at him, but can’t. It’s in a cast.
Oh, god.
You need the shit in your car.
You look at Sukuna imploringly. “Can you try to get any of it?” He’s a mechanic, he knows where junk cars end up.
“Sweetheart. I couldn’t give a fuck about any of that,” he says flatly.
The light is too much, you have to close your eyes. Which is good, because you’re fighting back tears.
“Ryo, please,” you beg, anxiety building in your chest. “Please, please, I need to get that stuff.”
“It’s probably crushed,” he says dismissively.
Your breathing ratchets up. “Please. I need it. Please.”
You practically hear him roll his eyes. “Fine,” he rumbles. “I’ll go tomorrow.”
You exhale shakily. “Okay.”
There’s silence for a few minutes. You feel better knowing that Sukuna’s going after your things, but it’s not enough. Your pulse jumps uncomfortably.
“Never should’ve let you drive that thing,” Sukuna mutters.
You wince. “Ryo…”
“It was used, sweets, and the last owner rode the brakes like they were his fucking boyfriend,” he snarls.
Your breathing jacks up, your grip on his hand tightens. You can’t—you can’t hear this right now.
“I told you to let me check the power steering,” he continues angrily, “I knew the fluid needed replacing, why didn’t you let me me fucking check?”
You shudder, breath hitching. Sukuna ignores it.
“Ryo—”
“What even fucking happened?” he demands, accusatorially. “Did they run a red light, I thought I taught you what to do when that happens. Why didn’t you—”
“Sukuna, for fuck’s sake,” you manage to say sharply. You turn to him, opening your eyes. His face is twisted in anger.
“I know why you’re—you’re freaking out,” you begin, sniffling. “But my—my head hurts so fucking bad.” And you lost all your shit, and your car is totaled, and your arm’s in a cast, and, and—
You look at him pleadingly, tears starting to spill over.
His expression flattens, but he nods once.
The tears are coming thick and fast now as you start to cry. Everything, everything that happened hits you hard. You reach for him. “Can—can you?”
In a second his arms are around you, holding you to his chest as you sob into his neck.
“I was in a car accident,” you say desperately.
And saying it makes it true. The memories aren’t pushed to the side anymore; they’re there, square in the middle of your brain; the one that took the hit.
You remember; you remember driving home after work, and everything was fine. And you had needed to stop at the grocery store, to pick up more coffee. And eggs for Sukuna, because Yuuji was home and burning through his food like a house fire through wood.
And everything was fine. And you were listening to the radio. And some idiot flew down the road perpendicular, the one you had just started to drive past. Barreling toward you fast as anything, ignoring the stop sign and—
And before you could move, before you could speed up or brake to avoid him, the nose of his car drove into the passenger side of yours with a sick crunch.
You shudder violently, and feel Sukuna’s lips at your temple, just below the bandage.
You remember the airbag inflating, the way your body jumped, bounced off it, thrown harshly into the wall of the car.
Nothing after that.
You twitch in Sukuna’s arms. You were in a car accident.
“I know, sweetheart,” he rumbles.
“I broke my arm.” You’d be in a cast for weeks.
“I know.”
“I—I had fucking amnesia,” you whisper thickly.
Sukuna’s arms tighten around you.
“I woke up,” you continue, choking on your words. “And everyone told me I was—was wrong.”
That fear, that sheer panic of learning you were missing time, that you were three years out of date—
You flinch away from it, pressing yourself further into Sukuna’s neck.
And you knew it was true, you believed them when they said you were wrong, because Yuuji looked different. Older than fifteen.
And the man—Sukuna—was looking at you like he loved you. Loved you so much that he fell apart when, suddenly, he meant nothing to you.
Remembering Sukuna’s face makes you want to die.
“I didn’t know you,” you gasp, reaching your hand up to claw at the hair on the back of his head. Thinking back on it is terrifying.
You feel him start to shake. He crushes you into his chest, holding as tightly as he can, while a gentle hand comes up to cradle your head.
“I’m sorry,” you insist desperately, raining tears and snot onto his skin. “Ryo, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“Not you, sweetheart,” he mutters, voice shaking.
But you can’t stop. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I didn’t mean to get in an accident—”
Because you know what that means for him. You went through hell, but you also put him through hell, and it feels like your fault.
You feel him freeze, and you let out a sob.
“I’m so sorry, Ryo, I—”
“Stop it,” he grunts. His hand comes up to grip your chin, fingers gentle. “Stop.”
He’s still shaking, hand on your jaw trembling slightly. “Don’t worry about me.”
You nod, biting your lip to keep it closed. Anxiety dies down as he strokes along your cheek. “Can’t—can’t help it,” you say, voice wobbling.
He sighs, loosening the hold on you. “Save it for later,” Sukuna mumbles.
You sniffle, tears beginning to slow. “Okay.”
Sukuna holds you until your shoulders settle and you pull in a deep breath, relaxing slightly in his arms.
“You want me to call the nurse, get you some water?” he rumbles.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” He picks his head up. “Brat. Go get some water.”
You burst into surprised laughter and hear Yuuji gasp, affronted. Opening your eyes, you see Yuuji turning around from where he’d taken several careful steps away from you.
“Call the nurse!” he insists.
“She’s probably busy,” Sukuna says dismissively. “You’ve got legs.”
“So do you!” He blanches as you raise your eyebrows and Sukuna growls.
“Don’t poke the bear, Yuuji,” you say reproachfully.
“‘M not a bear.”
“You’re literally growling,” Yuuji points out.
“Don’t poke the bear, Yuuji.”
“I’m not a fuckin’ bear!”
“You’re right, Miss Teacher.” Yuuji nods forcefully. “I don’t what I’d do if you weren’t here, I’d probably get mauled.” He turns on his heel as Sukuna hisses at him. “I’ll get you your water!” he calls, diving around the curtain.
You snicker, tucking your head back under Sukuna’s chin.
“Don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here,” he says, voice low in his throat.
You know what he means, what he’s thinking about. “I’m here,” you say simply. You can’t say anything else, not now.
“Mmh.”
You chew on your lip. “Thanks for coming,” you whisper.
He scoffs. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Okay.” You lean your head down to bite lightly into the forearm laying on your chest. “Love you.”
His breath hitches. “Love you, sweets.”
•••
They discharge you a few days later. Sukuna drives you right to your apartment, packs you a bag while you wait in the car, and takes you back to his place.
You take a week off work. Yuuji budges up on the couch so you can listen to audio books while he plays video games. Sukuna stays home from the shop for the first day, watching you like some kind of predator. Then he goes back to work, comes home at five with groceries.
Yuuji cooks, Sukuna cleans up. You watch something mindless together. Sukuna holds you at night.
It’s—nice. Needed.
The day before you have to go back to work, Yuuji pays Megumi a visit, and you and Sukuna take advantage of the empty couch. He stretches his long, long legs over the coffee table and you sit perched on his lap; back leaning against the armrest, head on his shoulder, knees drawn into his chest.
His eyes are closed, head tipped back against the cushions. One arm over your shoulders, the other snaked underneath your thighs. You’ve stretched your good arm up and are carding your fingers through his hair.
Your teeth worry into your lip. Sukuna’s relaxed, but you’ve got something on your mind.
Now’s as good at time as any.
You tug at his hair. “Hey.”
He grunts.
“Look at me, just for a second.”
He obliges, raising an eyebrow, taking in your even, resolved expression.
“Was it bad?” you ask quietly. “When you got the call?”
His face freezes, arm going rigid against your neck. Then Sukuna lets out a weary sigh, digging his face into your hair.
“Why’d you bring it up?” he mutters.
“Had to,” you whisper, pulling back to knock your head against his.
He glares at you. You look back, eyes unblinking.
Sukuna cracks. “Yeah.”
Instantly, your hand is in his hair again, fingers scratching light patterns across his scalp. You press yourself even closer, curling around him as much as you can, nose at his ear.
“Wanna tell me about it?”
“Tch.” He leans his head against yours.
You wait patiently.
“S’like I was there again,” he says finally, voice rough. “Like I was fourteen, and—”
Sukuna growls, even as his shoulders hitch, just once. “And everyone was gone. You were already gone.”
Your throat tightens painfully. Shivering, you press your lips to his cheek and stay there. His hand grips your shoulder.
“At the hospital,” he continues, “you—fuck.” You taste salt on your lips. You’ve got your arm around his head now, holding him fiercely against you.
“Nurse didn’t say, but, you might not have—”
He cuts himself off.
Might not have woken up. The thought eats through your stomach.
“Woke up,” you whisper desperately. “Right here.”
“Yeah.” He steadies for a moment. “Yeah. But then—”
You shudder. You’ve been dreading this.
“You didn’t…fucking hell.” Sukuna’s voice is thick, weak.
You start to cry, too, breath hitching as his stutters.
“Didn’t remember,” he grits out.
There’s the bite, sharp and deep as you’d feared.
Sukuna pulls in a ragged breath. “You looked at me like I was nobody.”
Oh, god. You let out a choked sob.
“Gone, again,” he mutters. “Snatched away.”
He pauses. “Like the universe kicked me in the balls.”
Shocked, you laugh, shaky and wet. You feel Sukuna’s lips tick upward, just for a moment.
“I’d feel like the universe kicked me in the balls, too,” you say quietly.
Probably feel a hell of a lot worse, actually. To have Sukuna severed from you like that? Your whole life with him ripped away, like you never meant anything to him?
You’re not sure you would recover.
You take a shuddering breath, then pull back so you can look him in the face, cradling his cheek with your one good hand.
Sukuna looks low and lost, eyes red and swollen.
“I love you,” you say simply, looking him dead in the eye. “You will always mean everything to me.”
His expression wavers, and that’s all you see before he crushes you to him, shoulders shaking beneath your cheek.
You wriggle yourself up so your lips are at his ear. “I will never leave you alone.”
You feel Sukuna’s mouth open in a silent howl, ragged breath punching through it.
Shifting in his lap, you pull his head to your chest, so you’re holding him more than he is you. You lean against the arm rest and gently tug him down, taking the weight of his upper body as he snakes his arms around your waist, mindful of your bad arm hanging off to the side.
Arm tight around his shoulders, you thread your fingers gently through his hair, murmur sweet nothings in his ear, and let snot and tears soak your shirt.
Eventually, Sukuna’s body stops trembling in your arms. He clears his throat.
“Thanks,” he mutters
“Tch,” you chide him. “Don’t be stupid.” He huffs a laugh into your chest.
You swallow, laughing weakly. He’s settled, but his grip on you is steel-strong, and his breathing’s thick and fast. Your own breaths are stuttered, halting; your arm rigid around him, clawing him to you desperately.
You’re both tensed, waiting. It’s not a surprise Sukuna makes the jump, sliding a hand down to skim at the edge of your cotton shorts.
“Sweets.” He picks his head up, eyes frantic and longing. “Sweets, can I?”
“Yeah,” you nod breathlessly, rising up on your elbow to kiss him as he slips his hand into your underwear, fingers starting to touch you gently.
You shudder, and he groans into your mouth. He goes slowly, so slowly, putting a hand on the back of your head so he can keep his mouth on yours. Sukuna is careful, delicate; pads of his fingers brushing against you lightly, like he’s worried you’ll break. Or disappear.
Soon, he has you gasping against his lips, hips jerking up lightly. Sukuna moves his hand away, and you part your legs for him so he can softly put a finger inside you, then another.
You moan as he starts to open you up for him, fingers driving your walls apart. He moves to your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin. Sukuna’s hand is big and his fingers are long, and he can push them deep inside you while keeping the heel of his hand on your clit, brushing against it every time he shifts his fingers.
He’s got you on the edge, touching you soft and perfect because he knows you so well. You tell him so.
“You know me, Ryo,” you gasp, hips lifting into his hand. “You have me coming already.”
“Fuck.” He bites your collarbone, and you come with a jolt.
Sukuna moves his hand off your clit but keeps sliding his fingers in and out of you as you roll through your orgasm. You hang your head off the couch, panting as he soothes his tongue across the bite and licks over your neck.
His fingers are slow and deliberate, working you open until too much becomes not enough and you’re driving your hips into his hand.
The hard length of him presses into your thighs. You tweak his hair. “Ryo,” you beg, “please.”
Sukuna pushes himself up, gently moving you aside so he kick off his sweats and boxers. He helps you slide off your shorts and panties and then settles you as you climb onto his lap.
You put a hand on his shoulder, lifting yourself up, only to give him a pointed look.
“Gonna need some more help,” you mutter, glancing at his cock.
Sukuna laughs, taking his cock in his hand and positioning it so it’s lined up with your pussy. You grin, and start to roll yourself down.
Only to groan as soon as you push past his tip. “Never gets any easier,” you mutter, forcing your body to swallow his length.
“You’d think that pussy would be used to me by now,” he smirks down at you.
You roll your eyes. “You have a big dick. Don’t let it get to your head.” You grind your hips slowly, taking him in even more.
“Too late,” he hisses.
“Yeah, I know.” He grins. You roll your hips one last time and he bottoms out, your hips sitting pretty against his. He groans, and you smile, steadying yourself with the hand on his shoulder and grinding slow and wide on his pelvis, because you know he likes it.
He moans again, and you rock yourself back and forth, his cock still fully inside you. Then you push yourself up, drawing his cock out of you slowly before sinking back down.
One of his hands sits at your hip, keeping you in place, while the other squeezes your ass. You find a low, languid rhythm, fucking his cock as slowly and deliberately as his hand fucked your pussy. You wish you had a free hand, but content yourself with kissing and biting at his shoulder.
“Fuck, sweets,” Sukuna mutters, hips kicking up into yours. “You don’t know what you do to me.”
“I know,” you grit out, pulling back with a smile. “I know you.” You twist your hips because you know it’ll make him crazy.
He looks at you wide-eyed for a moment, before smirking happily. “Damn right.” You pick up the pace, and he helps you along, both hands at your hips bringing you up and down along his cock. You’re moving together, now; Sukuna bucking his hips up when you roll yours down, meeting in the middle, slick and perfect. The stretch of his cock is familiar and incredible.
You crane your neck to kiss him. “Your cock always feels so good,” you murmur against his lips. “Want you to fuck me like this forever.”
You slide a hand into his hair so he’ll growl, and he gets a hand on your clit so you’ll swear yourself blind.
God, how could you have forgotten this?
Sukuna’s hips stutter beneath you, knees spasming. You rock yourself even faster and soon he’s biting sharp on your shoulder and groaning, spilling his cum inside you. You don’t stop moving, grinding up and down until a hand grips your ass and holds you in place. The other hand works at your clit, thumb brushing back and forth until you curl yourself around him, orgasm cresting through you.
You stay there for a while, panting, Sukuna licking absently at the skin of your shoulder while you trace the tattoos on his abdomen.
Eventually, you pinch him lightly. “I have to piss,” you mutter.
He raises a lazy eyebrow at you. “So go piss.” But he’s already lifting you gently off his lap, making sure you’re steady on the floor.
Later, after he’s helped you cover your cast in plastic wrap and followed you into the shower, Sukuna tugs you into his bed. He holds you to his chest, tracing lazy patterns across the bones of your elbow.
“Talked to Yuuji earlier.”
“Yeah?” you hum.
“About sex, and stuff. If he was messin’ around at college.”
“Okay.” You wait for him to get at what’s bothering him.
When he doesn’t answer, you rap your knuckles against his chest. “What’s wrong?”
He sighs. “Kid didn’t tell me anything, didn’t even want to talk to me about it,” he admits roughly. “I never went over any of that shit with him, just…didn’t think to. And now—” he rubs a hand over his face. “What if he gets someone knocked up or something? And he doesn’t want to tell me?”
You hesitate, then shift so you can look Sukuna in the face. “Okay, uh. Don’t get mad.”
Sukuna immediately narrows his eyes.
“Yuuji…kind of called me about something,” you admit. “A couple of weeks ago.”
“What happened?” Sukuna demands.
“Condom broke.” You grimace. “He was freaking out.”
“What’d you do?”
“Took him through it,” you say simply. “Stayed on the phone while he went for plan b, made sure the girl was under 250 lbs. so it would work. Explained what the next steps would be if it didn’t.” You shrug. “Told him to call me back when she got her period, which she did. All ended up fine.”
Sukuna’s eyes flit back and forth across your face. You know what he’s going to say next.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Yeah. You bite your bottom lip. “Yuuji asked me not to,” you say quietly.
Sukuna sits with that, body tense beneath yours.
“I’m sorry.” You hang your head. “I know I should’ve told you, I didn’t mean to overstep.”
He doesn’t seem to hear you, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. “Why the fuck didn’t he call me first?” Sukuna breathes.
You chew on your lip, silent until Sukuna looks down at you.
“I don’t know.” Semi-true.
“Guess,” Sukuna pushes.
“I think…I think he was afraid you’d be mad at him,” you say carefully. “Because he’d made a mistake.”
“Shit.” He pushes air through his nose. “Am I really that hard on the brat?”
“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. “No, he showed you his grades, remember, and they weren’t all that great. He knew you wouldn’t make a huge deal. It’s more…”
You smile despite yourself, shift so he can see it. “You have a very low tolerance for everyday stupidity.”
Narrowed eyes, again. “Remember when you were teaching him to parallel park?” you offer.
“Kid fucking jumped out of a moving car,” he mutters. “Couldn’t stand practicing with me. But everyone knows how to parallel park.”
“No, Ryo.” You push his hair back, still smiling. “They don’t. You raced cars in high school, you’re better at parallel parking than most of us dorks.”
“Hn.” He’s scowling.
There’s silence for a few minutes. You lay your head back down on his chest.
“Damn it.” You look up to see him grimacing. “What the fuck do I do?”
“What’d you say? When you talked to him?”
“Told him to call me if anything happened,” Sukuna mutters. “That I wouldn’t get mad.”
“Well, there you go,” you say easily. “Good start right there.”
Except—
“You said you wouldn’t get mad?” you clarify hesitantly.
“Yeah. Why? You think I’ll get mad?” Sukuna asks accusatorially.
You chew the inside of your cheek. “Probably.”
Sukuna growls, clicks his tongue in protest. You flatten your nose into his chest.
“So what should I fucking say?” You glance up to see him looking at you helplessly.
You look back, equally lost. “I dunno.” This is the edge of your expertise.
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
You think about it for a moment. “Well, what do you want him to know?”
“That I won’t get mad,” Sukuna says immediately.
You wrinkle your nose. “Yeah, you will.”
He opens his mouth indignantly, but you look at him, gaze steady.
Another thing that’s been weighing on your mind—
“You got mad at me,” you say softly. “At the hospital.”
He goes rigid beneath you. You pull your eyes from his, digging your nails into your palm.
“That was fucked up,” you say quietly. “I was really scared, and you made it worse.”
You let him hold that in his mouth, let the ugliness seep onto his tongue.
“You made me feel like it was my fault,” you mumble.
His arms wrap around you instantly, grip almost too tight. “‘M sorry, sweetheart,” he rumbles into your hair. “I was…”
“Yeah,” you say after he trails off. “I know.”
Your tone is unforgiving, and he clocks it; tugging at your hair and lifting your chin to look at him.
Sukuna’s eyes search yours. You look back, not giving an inch.
Eventually, he sighs, running a hand over his face. “Yeah, you know,” he mutters. “Doesn’t make a difference. Shouldn’t’ve made you feel like that.”
You hum. “Thanks.”
‘Thanks,’ not ‘its okay;’ you’re not over it.
He looks at you, startled, but you shake your head. Not now.
Sukuna blows a stream of air through his teeth, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling.
You hesitate, then press your lips to his chest, then again. He loosens his hold on you. Taps your shoulder lightly, slides his fingers into your hair.
You clear your throat. “You’re gonna get mad at Yuuji when he pulls stupid shit.”
“Yeah, I will,” he mutters.
“So don’t say you won’t.”
“Yeah.”
Silence for a moment. “But even if you do…” you prompt.
“I’m still gonna help him,” Sukuna says immediately. “I’m never gonna leave him in the fucking dust. Never. Kid needs to know that.”
You consider that. “I think that’s pretty good.”
He looks at you hesitantly. “Yeah?”
You nod. “Yeah. Go with that.”
Sukuna stares at you intently, then brings a hand up to frame your face, palm cupping your cheek.
“Can’t pull that shit again,” he mutters, voice rough, gesturing to your bruised forehead. “Can’t leave me now, sweets. Me and the brat need you too bad.”
You turn and bite the meat of his thumb. “‘M not going anywhere.”
“Yeah?” He leaves his hand where it is. You sink your teeth in for a moment longer, then meet his eyes.
“Yeah. I’m here forever.” Sukuna nods, satisfied, then pulls you gently to his chest.
He strokes your back for a while, both of you starting to drift off. You watch his eyes fall closed, listen to his breathing even out as sleep takes him.
The steady rise and fall of his chest is soothing, and his arms are tight around you, holding you against him even as he’s unconscious.
Yeah, you think to yourself as you nod off; yeah. You could do this with him forever.