Chapter Text
The first time she ever laid her eyes on golden hair and deep blue eyes, she could literally feel her heart skip a beat. Clarke Griffin officially joined the advertising company as a graphic designer and easily made her way into Lexa’s life when her desk was conveniently placed right across from Lexa’s.
Clarke was beautiful, no doubt about that. She found herself stealing glances at Clarke every so often. The way her nose crunched up and her lips formed a small pout when she was focused gave Lexa that weird ‘butterflies in your belly’ feeling and made her heart flutter. It didn’t really help that Clarke looked absolutely mesmerizing when she was working, pouring her heart and soul onto the blank computer screen. Lexa didn’t like the way Clarke made her feel. Not one bit
Against all reasoning and self-control, Lexa kept doing it. Looking up from her stack of paper work to look at Clarke. Inching her head, a little bit to the left, past her desktop screen, just for a peek of Clarke gluing her blue eyes to her own screen. Sometimes, and it happened more than Lexa was proud of, the blonde would look back at her and they’d exchange smiles. Lexa hated to admit, but Clarke’s smile was probably the highlight of her days.
Clarke was friendly, energetic, amazing at her job and everyone in the office loved her instantaneously. Before Clarke, Lexa was the youngest hire of the company, being only 23. But now, Clarke had taken her place as the office’s baby, at 21. Not that Lexa minded the shift of attention, Clarke was new and inexperienced so of course she needed some help. However, she couldn’t ignore the way her skin crawled whenever Finn leaned over Clarke’s desk, putting his filthy hand on Clarke’s shoulder, and “helped” her with whatever she was having troubles with.
Lexa never had a problem with him, but now she couldn’t stand the sight of the guy with stupid parted hair and a dopey grin on his face. But Finn was nothing more to Clarke than an “overly-friendly” coworker. Here’s the real problem: Wells Jaha, aka the boyfriend. They had been dating for 1 year and before that they grew up together. Classic boy/girl next door story.
It took Lexa some time but she was finally able to admit to herself that she was having a crush on Clarke Griffin, a huge one at that. She berated herself for having this crush and knew she shouldn't be pining so hard on Clarke, because Clarke was straight and had a boyfriend. A boyfriend Lexa couldn't even fault, try as hard as she may, because Wells is such a great guy. But every time Clarke was around, all of her sense of self-control went right through the windows and she just wanted to know more about the blonde. They can be friends, right?
//
As time went by, she got to know Clarke better and discovered more about her. The blonde was a giant manga nerd and she loved Dragon Balls Z and her favorite character was Vegeta. While Lexa found Clarke’s choice to be rather questionable, she found it endearing none the less. One day, she came to the office early, pulled out a Vegeta bobble head that she spent all weekend hunting down, and placed it on Clarke’s desk
“Found it at a random comic store, tucked behind all the other cool characters like Gohan and Trunks, so I thought he could provide you some entertainment in stressful times. He would be much more help to you than in battles, I’d say :) – L”
She smiled at the post-it note and neatly stuck it at the feet of the bobble head. That day, Clarke wrapped her in a tight hug and thank you’s were murmured in her ears. Lexa tentatively returned the embrace, and slowly let the feeling of holding Clarke so close take her over. ‘Stay away’ her head screamed; ‘Make her happy’ her heart whispered. And for the first time in her life, Lexa chose to listen to her heart
//
The idea of a Corporate retreat is quite possibly the dumbest thing known to mankind. The guy that came up with it was probably Satan himself. She groaned as she threw the sticks on the ground, frustrated at how she couldn’t even set up a freaking tent.
A hand on her arm made her jump. She turned around, only to see blonde hair peeking past her shoulder at the disaster that was supposed to be a tent. Clarke laughed and all the heat in her body rushed to her face, but she couldn’t help but be captivated by the melodic sound coming from Clarke.
“I don’t know about you but I don’t think we can sleep under that, whatever that is.”
“We?”
“Yeah, Bellamy didn’t bring enough tents for everybody so I volunteered to share and since you snatched the biggest tent, it was only logical. It’s okay with you right? If not, I can just share with Octavia or something” Clarke said, with a bright smile on her face. The smile made Lexa’s heart flutter and filled her head with all the scenarios that sharing a tent with Clarke could bring.
“Ah, no, don’t ask them, it’s fine. I don’t mind” Lexa replied a little too eagerly.
Clarke’s smile grew wider as she brushed past Lexa and crouched down to the mess of sticks and sleeping bags.
“As much as I love sleeping under the stars, I would still love having a roof over my head. Don’t want birds to poop into my open mouth tonight. Come on, help me sort these out”
Snapping out of her daze, Lexa crouched down and sorted through the different sizes of sticks. They worked as Clarke told her the story of Raven “accidentally” pushing Finn in the lake after his shameless attempt to volunteer to share a tent with her. Clarke let out a laugh and Lexa tried to ignore the sudden spike in her heart rate. She would never get tired of the sound. She chided herself for getting too close to Clarke. She wanted all of it to go away. The way her breath hitched when Clarke’s arm brushed against hers needed to stop. The way Clarke managed to make her blush just by smiling needed to go. In conclusion, her feelings needed to disappear. Feelings always lead to trouble, and Lexa much preferred her life to stay trouble-free. But right here, right now, with Clarke being so close and laughing at her stupid jokes, the troubles didn’t seem so…troubling.
That night, they all gathered around the campfire grilling marshmallows. Bellamy broke out his guitar and strummed a couple chords to some songs that Lexa didn’t recognize. Her eyes fell on Clarke sitting on the other side of the fire. The young graphic designer had her head on Raven’s shoulder, her eyes glued to the fire in front of her. Lexa didn’t want to be jealous, she really didn’t. But, the way Clarke was laughing at Raven’s jokes and leaning close to whisper in Raven’s ears made Lexa uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable
Clarke was always the touchy-feely type, she knew that. Sometimes, she would flop down on Octavia’s lap in the lunchroom, or wrap her arms around Bellamy’s shoulders and rest her chin on his head whenever he showed her his work on the computer screen. With Lexa, it was no exception either. She would hug Lexa from behind, or link their arms together when they walked. While Clarke’s gestures of affection looked the same for everybody, but Lexa felt like with her, the blonde’s hugs were longer, tighter, and tenderer. The idea was shrugged off just as fast as it came up, though. Lexa kept telling herself that it was just her imagination. Clarke did that to everyone, and it meant nothing.
She decided to call it a night after another stupid team building game and retreated to her tent. She let her body drop against the sleeping bag with a thud, and frowned at how uncomfortable it was. She tossed to her side, trying her best to fall asleep before Clarke got in, because she knew full well, there was no way in hell she could sleep with Clarke right next to her. After 5 minutes of trying, and failing, she let out a groan and at that right moment, the tent unzipped and Clarke walked in.
“Hey” Clarke said, and even in the darkness that surrounded them, Lexa still saw the flash of a smile from her lips. “Can’t sleep?”
“I’m more like a mattress and AC kind of girl” She replied, trying not to sound so bothered. Clarke chuckled and unzipped her own sleeping bag. Instead of settling in, she opened it all the way and folded it in quarter
“Get out of your bag” Clarke told her and she obliged, intrigued to see what the blonde was trying to do.
Clarke opened her bag all the way too, but then pushed it to the entrance of the tent. She put her folded bag down in the middle
“Since my bag is humongous, we can use it to sleep on and use yours as a blanket. We’d have to sleep really close though, I promise I won’t kick you in my sleep” She grinned as she grabbed Lexa’s bag and draped it over herself.
Lexa’s jaws were agape at how much space they have now, which was the size of a twin size bed. She cleared her throat as she settled right next to Clarke, who was so close to her, oh so close.
“Night, Lexa”
“Good night, Clarke”
She closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep. But it was no use. After only 5 minutes, she could feel Clarke’s breath even out while she laid rigidly in the tiny space that they shared. Clarke suddenly shifted, slung her arms across Lexa’s stomach, hand resting on her hips and pulled her close. Her leg swung over Lexa’s and entangled them. Her heart fluttered as she felt Clarke’s breath on her chest. The girl was pretty much on top of her. Hesitantly, she brought her arm up and placed it on Clarke’s shoulder as the girl nuzzled closer to Lexa. Tonight, Lexa allowed herself to feel. To feel how right it was to have Clarke’s in her arms, and to feel herself fall asleep to the sound of Clarke’s even breathing. And most of all, to feel herself fall in love for the first time in her life.
//
2 sugars, no cream. She kept her focus on stirring the coffee in front of her, humming to the tune that Clarke made her listen to just 2 days ago. She wasn’t happy, no, but, she was content. The way that Clarke and she were, it was enough. They were friends that cuddled, told each other everything, and spent most of their free time together. Of course she wanted more, but she would never risk losing Clarke. She would rather have her this way, than not having her in her life at all. This was enough. At least that was the lie she kept telling herself to make herself feel better.
She could feel arms wrapped around her waist from behind, holding her tightly and head resting against her back. She chuckled, only one person would do that in the whole office.
Clarke sighed and Lexa just knew something was wrong “Why are you upset?” She asked, hands busy making another coffee, for Clarke…3 sugars, 2 creams.
“I just got reamed out for missing the deadlines for the Milton contract. It’s not like I turned it in a day late, just by a couple of hours. There was one part that I couldn’t get right so I kept fixing it until I was satisfied. By the time I realized I was late, Kane was already at my desk with smoke coming out of his ears.”
“Aw come on, it’s not that bad. He knows your work is always A+, that’s why he’s so hard on you” She turned in Clarke’s arms and held the girl tightly, inhaling the apple shampoo that Clarke loved so much.
“Want to have lunch together? You always make me feel better”
Lexa opened her mouth to say yes, but an idea came to her head. She let go of Clarke and handed the blonde her coffee “I can’t. I promised my mom I’d have lunch with her. I’m sorry”
“Oh, that’s okay. Maybe tomorrow. Thanks for the coffee” With that, Clarke made her way back to the office. Lexa tried not to think too hard about the look of disappointment on Clarke’s face. They were friends. Friends get disappointed when friends couldn’t spend time with each other. Right?
She bolted out of her seat the moment the clock hit 12:00. Of course she wanted to make Clarke feel better, so instead of just having lunch with her, Lexa wanted to kick it up a notch by making her a care package full of her favorite foods. First stop, the grocery store. She hurriedly grabbed a box of cherries, Cheetos, salted peanuts, a jar of Nutella, chocolate mint ice cream and 3 bottles of Pepsi (yes, Clarke preferred Pepsi over Coke. Weird.) The time was tight since her next destination was 15 minutes away. She stopped at her favorite bakery and bought 2 tiramisus, Clarke loved that stuff. She put them all in a box, smiling to herself, thinking how happy Clarke would be to have all of her favorite junk food in one place.
Lexa got back to the office with 20 minutes to spare. She set the box under her desk and waited for the blonde to return. Just moments later, Clarke walked in from the break room, coffee in hand. Her face lit up when she saw Lexa and quickly made her way to the desk.
“How was lunch with your mom?” She asked, leaning on Lexa’s desk.
“There was no lunch. I have something for you” She grinned as she pulled out the box from under her desk. She watched as Clarke’s face broke into a smile as her eyes swept through all the items in the box. “It’s an impromptu care package. I hope it’ll make you feel better”
Before she could process it, arms were thrown around her shoulders and holding on to her tight.
“Thank you so much. I love it. Nobody’s ever cared about me this much”
“I do. I care about you, more than you know, Clarke” She closed her eyes at the feeling of Clarke nuzzling in the crook of her neck, trying to pull Lexa impossibly closer to her.
After a long moment, Clarke pulled away, wiping an un-fallen tear from her eyes and a smile plastered to her face.
“Let’s go to the roof and devour these tiramisus!” With that, she grabbed the box of desert and spoons, and pulled Lexa to her feet, making their way to the roof. They took their seats next to each other on the ground, backs against the railing. A grin broke across Lexa’s face as Clarke hum appreciatively at the first taste of her favorite desert
“This is heavenly” She mumbled with a mouthful of tiramisu
“I can make a much better one” Lexa said, enjoying the way Clarke turned to look at her in amazement
“I didn’t know you bake. You gotta teach me, or rather make me some!” Clarke winked and she thought her lungs were going to malfunction
“I love baking and of course I’ll make you some” She replied enthusiastically, but it was a flat out lie. Lexa Woods hated everything that had to do with a kitchen. She could barely make fried eggs without setting off the fire alarms. But ever since she found out that the blonde loved tiramisu, she was determined to learn how to make the intricate dessert, just for Clarke. And now, after numerous of failed attempts, Lexa could proudly tell Clarke that her tiramisu was indeed, out of this world.
As they eat the tiramisu in silence, Lexa was filled with joy, seeing how happy the care package made Clarke. Or rather, how happy she made Clarke. She glanced over, taking in Clarke’s beauty in the blinding sunlight. Her hair glowed and her eyes shone even brighter. Lexa’s fingers ached to reach out and pull Clarke in her arms, to tell Clarke about the overwhelming feeling that was drowning her slowly. But she couldn’t. They were friends, and that was all they would ever be.
A few stolen moments like this with Clarke was enough.
It had to be