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It was a dark & stormy night in the middle of Duran Duran's three month long tour. They had just completed a performance at your mom’s house & were in their tour bus on the way to their next destination. Nick Rhodes, responsible for driving, was growing anxious as the rain fell down harder and harder.
“I can’t see shit,” Nick said, squinting and turning the wipers faster. Suddenly, Adam Ant appeared in the middle of the highway and Nick was forced to swerve dramatically to avoid hitting him.
“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT FOR?” John Taylor screamed, having been woken from his nap.
Nick rubbed his eyes and looked around. “Is everyone alright?” His fellow bandmates groggily muttered and went back to sleep, except for Simon. Nick attempted to drive again but the bus was hesitant. “What the diddly darn fuck?”
Simon made his way to the front of the bus where Nick was sitting behind the wheel. (depeche mode) “What’s wrong?” he asked his beet friend ever.
“I don’t know,” Nick stammered, “Maybe we should go outside and check."
“I’ll do it,” Simon Le Bon bravely volunteered. “I don't want you to get wet.” Simon stepped out of the vehicle, using his jacket as a cover for his hair. He walked around the bus, inspecting it for any damage that may have occurred when Nick dangerously swerved. The bus was stopped in the right lane without any hazards on. How dangerous, Simon thought, perhaps I should tell Nick to turn them on.
Meanwhile, Kevin Haskins was driving his minivan, filled with the rest of Bauhaus, down the same highway. How coincidental.
“How much longer?” Daniel caterwauled from the backseat, very annoyed with the idea of touring at the same time as Duran Duran.
Kevin didn't say anything, as usual, and kept driving.
“Can we go any faster?” Daniel whined.
“BAH humbug,” Kevin burst out. “Do you wanna drive instead?”
Daniel sat back down in his chair and pouted. David, in the passenger seat, looked over at his poor brother with his haunting laser eyes. He said nothing, and returned to staring straight ahead.
In the distance, Kevin could see an ominous blob. However, with the amount of rain on his windshield, he passed it off as nothing. If some idiot was in the middle of the road without lights on, that was their fault. He pressed on the accelerator.
Moments passed before they hit a bump.
“I wonder what that was.” Kevin said, slowing down. David stared at him.
Daniel, even more exasperated, began to complain again. “Look what you’ve dome, Kevim, now you’re damaging the van!”
“Nuh uh.” Kevin responded as they came to a complete stop. “Should we check what that was?”
“Not it!” Daniel yelled. David stared. Kevin glanced back at Peter, who was passed out next to Daniel in the backseat.
Peter slowly opened one eye, somehow aware that there were creatures staring at him while he slept. “What’s going on? Are we there?”
“No, and you need to go out and check what we ran over.” Daniel bitched.
Peter, still half asleep, tossed his blanket to the side, didn’t undo his seatbelt, as he didn’t use one, and opened the side door to the van, which Daniel quickly shut behind him to avoid getting wet. The cold miserable rain soaked Peter immediately as he wandered into oblivion. He was very unsure what he was supposed to be doing.
“Auuegggghhhhhhh,” came from the middle of the road.
“Who goes there?” Peter shoitted, startled by the realization he was not alone.
“Eyaaayggghhhhhh,” continued the voice. Peter moved towards it, now wishing he had some sort of weapon in case it was a monster. He wasn’t allowed to carry weapons anymore… not since the last incident.
“Hello?” Peter called out hesitantly.
“Help.”
Peter looked around. “I don't see you.”
“I’m down here.”
Peter looked down. He couldn't tell what he was looking at due to the rain and darkness. “Oh, there you are. Are you alright?”
“No, I'm not alright." The voice moaned.
Peter crouched down, still unable to tell what he was looking at. “Whats your name?”
“Bon… Simon le Bon.” The man said.
“Woah… like… that singer guy?” Peter questioned, not really a fan.
Simon continued to moan, then he passed out.
“WHAT THE DIDDLY DARN FUCK ARE YOU DOING!” Nick screamed, running towards them.
Peter stumbled back with his hands in the air, very innocently if I do say so myself. Upon hearing all of the commotion, the remaining band members from both groups made their way towards the scene.
Nick continued to scream, falling to his knees beside Simon.
Daniel rolled his eyes as Nick shrieked and wailed at the sight of his beet friend, who was lying unconscious in the road. “What’s the deal with him? Just move him out of the road.” David stared at the mess while his brother chewed his nails, overwhelmed with the guilt of running a man over.
Nick got up and shoved Daniel. “What the diddly darn fuck do you mean ‘whats the deal?’ That’s my WIFE! What did you do to him?”
Kevin began to cry. “We didn’t do anything!” Daniel snapped, towering over Nick.
“Well CLEARLY he’s been injured, and it wasn’t the rain!”
“We were just driving and only stopped because we saw you pulled over.” Daniel lied so believably.
Nick bitch slapped Daniel across the face. “I don’t believe you!” David stared. Peter’s jaw dropped. Peter was still sleepy tbh.
“That was unnecessary!” Peter shouted, stepping in between Nick and Daniel before Daniel could retaliate. “We should be getting help for this poor man.”
Daniel ignored Peter. “How dare you touch me!” He spit at Nick.
Nick, distracted by the bodily fluid that had flown from Daniel’s mouth to his own, pulled his arm back to prepare for a (weak) punch.
Daniel and Nick clashed in a quite pathetic and wet tussle. Peter had given up on breaking them apart, Kevin watched, heavy with guilt, and David continued to stare. Roger and Andy were tending to Simon as John crouched in the distance very suspiciously. What could he be doing?
Very desperate to get high, and quite understandably as this situation was very stressful, he scrambled to get out his cocaine. He used his body as a shield from the rain, which threatened to wash away his precious drugs, and set up his lines directly on the road. John enjoyed his soggy ass lines.
“Can we just call for an ambulance?” Nick cried, tired of losing to Daniel.
“Yeah, whatever.” Daniel agreed.