Chapter Text
Why did I audition for Total Drama?
Yeah, sometimes I wonder the same thing. Why did I audition for Total Drama?
This is the question that has coursed through mind since setting foot on this damn island, to be completely honest. My first impression wasn’t the best— the grey sky, rickety bridge and washed-up seagulls weren’t exactly…inviting. You know, just what you’d expect from a “five-star resort."
We also have to do challenges. Big thing they 'forgot' to mention. And they’re not your average ‘guess what’s in this box’ challenges, either. They’re your ‘will I survive this eight mile drop’ challenges. I jumped off a cliff, FYI. It was so bad that they didn’t even air it. Instead, they just skipped to the human form of a whale causing a tsunami.
Not to mention, I have to share a cabin with the whale.
But what really sealed the deal for me is when I woke up— which was bad enough— but waking up making out with Cody’s ear was a whole other level.
It was a day like any other on Total Drama Island— our (least) favourite host, Chris, seeing how far he could torture a bunch of sixteen-year-olds without any legal backlash. And this week’s challenge was to see how long we could stay awake after doing a 20k run, and then devouring a four-course meal.
Seeing as my only friend on the island, Owen, had almost instantly succumbed to slumber, and I had none of my books for some form of distraction, I decided to actually socialise for once in my life. Bold move from me, I know, but I had no preferable alternative.
I scanned every person on my team and weighed out my options. Owen? Asleep. Lindsay? Too dumb. Justin? Too stuck-up. Heather?
…What am I, insane?
Although some options weren’t too bad, such as Leshawna and Trent, I ended up settling for Cody. Not sure why.
Reluctantly, I walked over to Cody’s general direction, where he was ogling Gwen like a dog over a steak. He seriously could not be any more obvious, which was just sad. I plopped myself down beside him.
“Lovely weather we’re having,” I deadpanned, gesturing to the starry night sky.
“Haha, yeah!” Cody ignorantly replied, not picking up on the sarcasm, still too busy looking at Gwen. What a loser.
Next thing you know, I woke up kissing his ear.
Shocked? Yeah, so was I.
Yeah… definitely not my favourite moment, that's for sure. After having the terrifying realisation of my actions, I did what any rational person would do.
I screamed and ran away as far as my legs would take me… which wasn’t very far.
Could you blame me? Seriously, Cody? I hardly knew the guy. And there was about a 94% chance that it got aired on international television. Great.
He screamed and ran away too, so I’m glad the feeling was mutual. I just hope he doesn’t become homophobic because of me or something. That would be truly tragic.
Final verdict: Cody? Too cuddly. It’s all his fault. If he wasn’t so stupidly close to me, none of this would’ve happened.
The Awake-a-Thon resumes, but I don’t really care. I’ve already lost. So, my plan is to avoid Cody at all costs after that... unfortunate incident. The embarrassment would be too much for my pride to handle.
I think the world is in my favour for once, because I haven’t seen Cody much again today— I’m glad.
However, that hasn’t stopped almost every other camper yapping in my ear about it for hours on end. Honestly, it’s like a mantra. I was asleep, for Pete’s sake, I had no mental awareness of what I was doing! It’s infuriating.
I’ve had Tyler lecture me for ‘leaving myself open’— whatever that means— and Leshawna trying to gaslight me into thinking that I had some ‘ulterior motive’ that I wasn’t aware of. Of course I didn’t— What am I, Mr Darcy?
Gwen, Duncan, Heather and Eva are the final ones standing. Personally, I’d place my bets on Eva or Duncan. Anyone but Gwen, really. She hasn’t been holding up that well since Trent inevitably fell asleep. But I won’t, because I don’t gamble.
Thank everyone above, because Chris has let the campers who have already fallen asleep go take a shower and do what they want. That makes avoiding Cody so much easier.
However, the same could not be said for Izzy.
“RAHH!!”
As I was peacefully running away from my problems, Izzy, for some reason unbeknownst to me, decided to hang upside down from a tree like some sort of insane bat and scare me.
“AH- Izzy! What on earth was that for?” I asked, one furious brow raised and one hand on my hip.
“Haha! I scared you!”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” I said, rolling my eyes.
Then, like some nutcase ballerina, she spun in the air and landed on the floor with the grace of a swan— pretty on the outside, crazy inside the water.
Yeah, no escaping now. I sighed, accepting my fate of enduring Izzy’s shenanigans.
“How’s Cody?” she asked bluntly.
I rolled my eyes.
“Oh my— for the last time, it was an accident. I was asleep, and I’ve exchanged approximately twelve words with him.”
Izzy simply smirked like she knew something I didn’t. Which, in most cases, meant she probably did.
“Mark my words.”
And then she slowly backed into a bush. And that was that.
Huh.
Once the Awake-a-Thon ended and the endless echo of questions about Cody subsided, I lay in my bed, with Pride and Prejudice in my hand, a fine distraction from the events of today.
That is, until someone bursts through the cabin door.
“Hey, buddy!” The voice of a worryingly large individual calls out to me.
I take a great big sigh before responding for dramatic effect.
“What is it, Owen? Have you come to strip me of my pride and interrogate me about the Cody incident too?”
Owen just let out this goofy ahh chortle before responding.
“No, I’ve already done that today!”
Then he just… stops talking? What, am I meant to respond to that?
“Well?”
“Have you seen Izzy?”
Yes.
“No, Owen, I haven’t seen Izzy.”
Owen sighs.
“Okay, then, bye buddy!”
Then he just… leaves. I sigh and shake my head. Owen is certainly an odd specimen.
I go back to reading my book.
‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of—’
Yeah, no. There’s too much racing through my mind for reading.