Chapter Text
The alarm went off and Liam was not ready. He was never ready.
He groaned and rolled over to flail his hand around at the clock blindly through the dark to stop the incessant beeping from echoing around the bedroom. He rolled back onto his back and stretched, groaning again.
Liam was so tired. He was always tired.
Always so tired.
Liam sat up in the bed, scrubbing a hand over his face and setting his feet on the floor to get up. As tired as he was, and as much as he’d kill to lay down for just a few more minutes and cuddle up to his husband, he had three kids to get out of bed and ready for school.
First was Louis. Being the oldest at 14, he was the easiest to get up and get going on his own. Liam quietly snuck down the hallway and into the boy’s room and gently shook where he assumed his shoulder was underneath the mountain of blankets.
“Lou, bud,” he hummed, “Time to get up, kiddo.”
The lump of blanket groaned and a hand flopped out to swat at Liam.
“I know, I know. Up, up, up. I’ll be back after I get your brothers up and you better be out of bed by then, babe.” He patted the blanket mound one more time and stood to go onto Niall’s room next.
Generally, waking Niall up could go one of two ways. Being the perpetually happy boy he was, he usually liked mornings and would get out of bed without a problem. However, if the seven year old was feeling especially tired or clingy, he would latch onto his father and refuse to let go until Liam dropped him off at school. Liam just prayed this morning would be an easy one.
He went into his middle son’s room and sat on the edge of the bed, smiling softly at his boy curled up with his stuffed sheep under his arm and the blanket wrapped tightly around his body. “Nialler,” Liam sing-songed as he rubbed his son’s back, “time to wake up, sweetheart.”
Niall shifted in his sleep and pulled the blanket further over his face.
Liam chuckled, “Come on and wake up, sunshine.”
Niall slowly opened his eyes and smiled up at his father. “Morning, Daddy.”
Liam let out a small sigh of relief at the response, glad it seemed that it was going to be an easy morning with Niall.
“Alright, babe, let’s go down and get some breakfast, yeah?” After Niall nodded sleepily and reached his arms up to his father, Liam scooped the boy up to carry him downstairs. He smiled when Niall dropped his head onto his shoulder and nuzzled his face into the material of Liam’s sleep shirt and hummed groggily. Not that Liam had favorites, of course, but Niall was his little snuggler.
After Liam had deposited Niall in his chair in the kitchen and poured his bowl of Lucky Charms, he headed back upstairs to get the last one.
Harry was fun to get up. He was rarely cranky, and was often already awake and patiently waiting in his crib when Liam came in to get him in the mornings. And this morning was no different. As soon as Liam walked into the room, he heard a happy squeal from his littlest boy who dropped his stuffed giraffe and reached his arms up to his father with a big smile on his face.
“Good morning, happy boy!” Liam scooped him up from the crib and set him on his hip, kissing his chubby cheek and bouncing him lightly. “Let’s get you out of that pullup and get you downstairs for breakfast, huh bug?”
Harry made a noise of agreement and let Liam set him on the changing table and throw out his pullup and put his clothes on him for the day. On his way back downstairs with Harry in his arms, he stopped back in Louis’ room to check to see if he had gotten out of bed.
Which he hadn’t. Of course.
Liam sighed and walked into the room, shaking the boy’s shoulder again.
“Louis, come on. You need to get up. Now. You don’t have time for this, kiddo,” Liam said.
“Daaaaaaad noooo” Louis groaned, pulling the blanket further over him.
Liam chuckled lightly. Even without any biological connection, Louis was so much like his baba. “Alright. Here ya go,” he gently placed Harry on the bed next to Louis’ blanket-covered body, who giggled happily and started to crawl over Louis’ body. The teenager pulled the blanket off his head and looked down at his little brother.
“Oh, hi Harry,” he said sleepily, a small smile growing on his face, “whatcha doing?”
“Alright, Lou. Be downstairs with him in five minutes or I’m coming back up here.” Liam warned, ruffled both boys’ hair, and left the room. When dealing with Louis, Liam didn’t like to use the word pawn for Harry, but perhaps incentive fit the boy as well. Louis loved both his brothers, but he had an especially soft spot for the curly haired toddler. It was blessing to both Liam and his husband that when dealing with Louis’ angsty teenage mood swings and grumpy spells, they could use Harry to their benefit.
And today, for once, Louis did as he was told and came downstairs holding Harry a few minutes later. Liam poured Louis a bowl of cereal, cut up a banana for Harry, and went back to packing lunches for his boys. Halfway through breakfast, Liam’s husband, Zayn, came downstairs dressed in a dark blue button up and black slacks.
“Morning, love!” Liam smiled as Zayn kissed his cheek, “Want something to eat?”
“Sorry, babe, gotta run. Forgot I have to get in early to prep for the presentation.” Zayn slipped on his shoes and grabbed his bag by the front door, “I might be home a little late as well, I’ll call you at lunch and let you know.” He kissed each of the boys’ heads as they ate their breakfast and was out the door before Liam could even respond.
“Alrighty then. McDonald’s for dinner then, boys?” Liam smiled as his two youngest cheered happily, and Louis nodded. “Alright good. Niall, hurry up, bud, you need to go get dressed still.”
~*~
By the time Liam had dropped the two oldest boys off at school and brought Harry home, the last thing he wanted to do was any sort of work. He got home and cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast, threw in a load of laundry, and cleaned up the boys’ play room just to procrastinate. Liam worked as an editor for a publishing company, and did all of his work from home in order to take care of the house and the kids. Zayn made enough money at a large marketing firm for Liam to be a full time stay at home dad, but he had a degree he didn’t want to go to waste, and he didn’t want to be bored every day sitting at home and tending to the housework. Plus, Harry was getting bigger and once he started school, Liam would be home alone all day long with only the dog for company. Usually he enjoyed the work he did, editing novels and other publications for the company, but today he was even more tired than usual.
The exhaustion had been growing and building up over the last few weeks, and no matter how much he slept it didn’t go away. But today, as soon as Liam finished picking up the stray toys and video game controllers in the play room, he felt like he couldn’t keep his eyes open any more. He fed Harry his lunch and put him down for his nap, and mentally cringed at the thought of reading over any more manuscripts. He still had until Friday to edit the last of a novel he had to work on, so he figured he probably had time to sneak in a nap.
He slowly climbed the stairs to his bedroom and dropped down onto the bed, hugging Zayn’s pillow into his chest and closing his eyes.
~*~
When he woke up, this time it was to a ringing he thought he recognized, but when he tried to hit the button on his clock, nothing happened. His foggy mind cleared enough to let him realize it was his phone ringing on the other side of the mattress and not the clock at all.
Cursing under his breath, he accepted the call and answered with a groggy, “’lo?”
“Hello, Mr. Malik? This is Mrs. Laythem at Turnbill Primary School. I was wondering if you or your husband were going to be coming to pick up Niall? Or if I should send him over to the high school with Louis?” the woman’s voice on the other end of the line questioned.
“What?” Liam glanced back the clock. 3:22. Fuck. “Shi-… Yes. I’m sorry I lost track of time. I’ll be there in just a few minutes to get him, I’m very sorry.” Liam jumped up from the bed, holding onto the nightstand for a moment as the room spun, and pulled on his shoes that had been left next to the side of the bed before his nap.
“Okay, I’ll keep him in the main office until you arrive. I’ll call over to the high school and let them know you’re on your way as well.”
“That would be great, thank you.”
“See you soon.”
Liam hung up and let out a deep breath. Fuck. He’d been asleep for almost 3 hours, and still didn’t feel any bit less exhausted. And he’d left his kids at school for almost have an hour. Awesome.
And where was Harry?
Liam nearly sprinted into the boy’s room, half expecting him to have tried to escape the crib he was quickly outgrowing and fallen onto the floor and hurt himself.
However, much to Liam’s relief, Harry was sitting up in his crib playing with two of his stuffed animals. Somehow he had managed to get his shirt off himself and throw it to the floor. He looked up when Liam walked in and a huge smile spread across his chubby cheeks.
“Daddy!” He cheered.
“Hi, baby, I’m so sorry I left you for so long. I took a nap too!”
Harry giggled and reached his arms up for his father. “Daddy take nap. Wet, Daddy.”
Liam scooped him up, noticing his soggy pants. He had been doing great with potty training, especially for his age, but he still had accidents which usually occurred while he was asleep. When he went to bed at night, and often when he was put down for naps, Liam would change him into a pull up to avoid any messes, but today had neglected to do so since he was so ready for a nap of his own.
“Aw, did you wet, Bug? That’s okay, accidents happen. And it’s Daddy’s fault for leaving you for so long.”
Liam cleaned and changed Harry as fast as he could and got him strapped into his car seat within ten minutes, which was quite an accomplishment if he did think so himself.
As soon as Liam stepped foot through the front door of the elementary school and into the main office, Niall was attached to his leg.
“Daddy! Daddy where were you why weren’t you here? I was sacred you died!” He said, kissing Liam’s leg and then reaching his arms up to be held.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Liam picked him up and kissed his cheek. “I just lost track of time and didn’t realize school was all done, bud. But we gotta go get your brothers too, so let’s go yeah?” Liam held onto Niall and picked up his book bag from a chair near the front desk and said a quick thank you to the woman there before he headed out and buckled Niall into his seat.
Picking Louis up was a different story. He was waiting on the front steps of the high school playing on his phone, and looked up when Liam tooted the horn at him. He slung his bag over his shoulder and sagged into the passenger seat of the car.
“What the hell, Dad, I texted you like 30 times.” He grumbled angrily.
“Hey! Watch your language, Louis William, your brothers are in the car. And I’m sorry. You could have called and I would have heard it.”
“Whatever let’s just go home.” Louis stuck his ear buds into his ears and turned his attention to look out the window.
Liam sighed and pulled back out of the parking lot, heading for home.
~*~
By the time Zayn got home from work, it was nearly 9 o’clock and Niall and Harry were already in bed, Louis was playing Xbox in the paly room, and Liam was sat on the bed reading through some of his work that was due Friday. He heard the front door open and close, Zayn mumble something (which he assumed was saying hello to Louis), and heavy footsteps up the stairs.
“Hey you” Zayn said as he came in the bedroom, pulling off his tie and kicking off his shoes.
Liam glanced up quickly, “Hi”.
“Something wrong?”
“No, no, just trying to get this done as fast as possible. A bit tired.”
“I’m sure.” Zayn said sarcastically.
“Wait what?” Liam put down his papers and looked up at Zayn fully, who was pulling pajamas out of the dresser.
“Nothing. I just think it’s funny how you’re so tired from sitting at home all day.” Zayn unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off, replacing it with an old soft tee shirt.
“Zayn, you literally just got home can we please not do this? You just got home and I haven’t seen you all day. Like I said, I’m tired. I don’t feel like dealing with your degrading bullshit right now okay?” Liam sighed and stood up to stretch.
“Whatever, Liam. Your life is so hard.” Zayn scoffed
Liam didn’t respond. He just stared at Zayn as he finished getting dressed in his pajamas, then sighed heavily and left the room. It was best not to push Zayn when he was in these kinds of moods. He didn’t really know where he was going or why, so he found himself wandering into Harry’s room and checking to make sure he was alright. The boy was asleep in his crib, arms and legs thrown out wide like a starfish, blankets twisted around his waist and hair wild. Liam smiled softly at his little boy and thought absently that they should be getting Harry a toddler bed soon. He was getting big so fast. As much as Liam loved watching his boys grow up and begin to become more independent, it killed him. His boys were his world. And Harry was his baby. Of all his boys, Harry was the only one they’d adopted as an infant. And as much as Liam loved adopting his other two boys as toddlers, when their personalities were already showing through, watching Harry grow from an actual baby was special.
But it hurt Liam to think that Harry had almost no relationship with Zayn at all. He loved Zayn and knew Zayn worked hard to make sure his family was happy, but he had been working longer hours for the past year and wasn’t around nearly enough to establish any type of relationship with his youngest son, who was only now beginning to have memories that would last. Even when Zayn was home, he wasn’t really there. He was constantly on his phone, on his laptop, checking emails, making calls to the office, or sleeping. Liam didn’t dare try to bring the topic up with Zayn anymore, because the few times he had in the past had ended in very loud fighting, and Zayn sleeping on the couch.
The fighting had gotten worse the past few months. Liam tried to avoid it as much as possible, but it seemed Zayn’s temper had been getting the best of him, and any sort of conversation could strike a nerve that would send them into an argument so fast it made Liam’s head spin. So Liam did his best to ignore nitpicky or passive aggressive comments in order to avoid an argument. Niall hated loud noises, and Zayn could get very loud when they fought. And as much as he hated feeling like he was letting Zayn control him in that sense, all he really wanted was for his kids to be happy. And he would sacrifice a lot for that cause.
So Liam cooked and cleaned and worked, he dressed the kids and fed the kids and picked them up, dropped them off, and watched the kids grow up. All while Zayn spent his time at the office. Or spent time picking fights. And didn’t spend time with his children.
Liam sighed heavily as he sat in the rocking chair in the corner of Harry’s room, still watching his tiny chest move up and down in the soft glow of the ocean-themed night light.
It was only temporary, he kept telling himself. Only temporary until Zayn could cut down his work schedule, and wouldn’t be tired and wouldn’t be ready to snap at anything Liam did or said. Only temporary until Zayn could spend time with them and they could all do things as a family. Only temporary until Zayn would hug and kiss Liam the way he used to, make him feel special and important. Until then, Liam would manage. Because he had his kids who he loved more than life, and he loved spending as much time with them as he could. And he really did love Zayn. Really.