Chapter Text
Kageyama blamed the training camp for everything that’s happening to him.
First of all, the ride in Saeko’s car was really terrible and he was sure that he wanted to throw up if it wasn’t for the traffic that put everything into halt (but he didn’t say it nor admit it. He should be thankful that he arrived safely in Tokyo.), then they would always lose and always get punished, and then he choked on his food while his crush handed him water. The last incident shouldn’t have happened because his tiny crush for the Fukurodani setter wasn’t even tiny anymore. Akaashi knew about Kageyama’s feelings—not just for him, but for Tsukishima as well.
“It’s your decision to choose, Kageyama. I don’t mind it if you choose him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know,"
“But if he ever tells you that it wasn’t you whom he will love, I promise that I’ll get you back.”
When he arrived at his place from the camp, all Kageyama did was slump on his bed, twisting and turning while forcing himself to sleep but two people are completely stuck in his mind. Why was falling in love really hard? Why was it bound to be like this? Why do they have to find their soulmate? Why do they need a soulmate? Kageyama just want answers to be answered. But the world is, indeed, cruel and let those answers subside.
Akaashi makes him happy—a keeper, to say the least. He knew what to do, and he has those gorgeous eyes that made Kageyama fall hard. A doting parent of the team, and most of all, he makes Kageyama’s life harder and better.
Kageyama shouldn’t have feelings for the guy at all. He wasn’t linked to him. In fact, he was linked with Tsukishima; the one who made it all confusing. Kageyama settled that—it’s just a crush, nothing more, nothing less. Don’t act stupid, Tobio.—but the middle blocker gave him a harder time to decide who to choose. And when he admitted that he chose Tsukishima over Akaashi, Kageyama found himself falling into the ‘your-my-soulmate-but-everything-is-platonic’ zone.
Kageyama wished he didn’t fall back. If he did, then maybe—just maybe—Tsukishima will choose him and not the Nekoma captain. He wished that he could turn back the time and make things right, but whatever, he has no such power.
He knew that even if he chose Tsukishima, Tsukishima will never choose him. So maybe that’s why he enclosed their lips. So maybe that’s why he ran away after he told the other that he likes him. So maybe that’s why he cried in his bed. So maybe that’s why he ignored the rest of team who was questioning his act.
So maybe that’s why...
So maybe that’s why he came back to Tokyo that weekend.
He called Akaashi as soon as he arrived. Akaashi was really surprised that he went to Tokyo from Miyagi in the middle of the season’s tournament. He picked the boy up after he called and sent him home with him. Fortunately, Akaashi’s parents are out of town until the next week, but he has to send Kageyama back tomorrow or else he wouldn’t be able to attend classes and practices.
“I told you I’ll come back for you, not the other way around.” Akaashi gave him a warm tea which he took abruptly.
Kageyama flushed from his words. He tried to hide it by drinking the tea even if it burns down his throat. He felt Akaashi sat beside him, but, thankfully, leaving a few space between them.
“Hey, hey, slow down.” Akaashi chuckled, holding Kageyama’s arm. The boy flinched but slowed down his pacing.
Kageyama looked away, still drinking the tea. Every now and then, he would notice Akaashi look at him. Kageyama wanted to shrink, wanted to go away. But you went here. The money went to waste, then. He shook his head. He was here to tell Akaashi. He gulped, “He still didn’t choose me.”
Akaashi stared at him. Kageyama wished that he should’ve stayed back at Miyagi. This wasn’t like him at all. He wished that the other setter would finally speak since this is becoming really embarrassing for Kageyama. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Kageyama looked up from the now empty cup. It wasn’t the response Kageyama expected, but he doesn’t even know what he wanted Akaashi to say.
“Oh,” Akaashi repeated, only it was breathy. “You didn’t let him answer, didn’t you?”
All the Kageyama could do is nod. He placed the cup on the table and held his own hands.
“What if it was you he chose?”
“He wouldn’t. He said it himself.” Akaashi perked a brow towards him. “He said that even if we were linked, it doesn’t mean that he chose me.”
“But you do know that he can still change his mind.” The second year placed his cup on the table too.
“It’s too late for that now. He’s in a relationship with the Nekoma captain.” Kageyama blushed, probably because he could feel Akaashi’s breath. When he didn’t hear Akaashi reply, Kageyama looked at his side only to find two beautiful eyes staring back at him. “Akaashi-san…?”
“I told you I will get you.”
It was until that moment where Kageyama knew that maybe he and Tsukishima weren’t really bounded to be together. Maybe.
So maybe that’s why he went here to Tokyo and got kissed by the one who came to get him.
So maybe that’s why he cried when he came back to Miyagi because he was goddamn confused.
***
“I’ve heard you went to Tokyo this weekend.” Sugawara stated when he saw Kageyama enter the club room.
“What?! Bakayama, you went to Tokyo?”
“What did you do there?”
“Did you forget something from the camp?”
“But the camp was a few weeks ago!”
Kageyama didn’t pay any attention towards his team. His eyes are only fixed at a certain middle blocker. Tsukishima flinched on what he heard, still holding the handle of his locker door. He was just staring down at whatever is inside his locker but it looks like he wouldn’t get it yet.
Kageyama ignored them, plopping his bag on one of the benches and started opening the lock of his locker. He felt a few eyes settled at him yet he continued playing with the lock until it opened.
Like the actual angel he is, Sugawara noticed something is up and that the two has to talk. “Now, now, let’s go to the gym already before Daichi will get mad at us.” But before he closed the door, he looked back at the remaining ones. “Kageyama, Tsukishima, make sure you go to the gym after dressing up.”
The two stayed quiet. They didn’t dare speak any words but meddled with their own business. Kageyama removed his uniform and placed it in the locker without even caring if it was placed neat. He took a shirt in his locker, but before he could put it on, a hand turned him. He winced as he felt his back being pushed unto the locker beside his.
“Tsukishi—” But before he could continue, soft lips were gently placed into his. They stayed like that. Eyes closed, lips moving by their own, and hot breaths covered the room.
“You went to him, didn’t you? Akaashi-san.” Tsukishima said as soon as he pulled back. He placed small kisses on the other’s neck before sucking into a spot.
Kageyama couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed Tsukishima, a bit rough but he didn’t know if he should feel guilty right now. But he knows that he is mad. He is frustrated. And most of all, he is confused.
“I… I don’t get you!” Kageyama muttered. “You chose him, not me. Stop making everything worse!”
“And you chose me, not him.” With that, Kageyama softened his glare. He looked down at the floor, closing his eyes and hoping that he would just die in that very moment.
“Please, Tsukishima.” Kageyama turned his back towards the other. “Just… stop.”
“You told me you like me, and then you came to him?” Tsukishima scoffed. ‘What’s wrong with you?”
“I can’t sort out my feelings, okay?” Kageyama finally spun as soon as he wore his shirt on. “I know that you love him and not me. I know that if this soulmate thing didn’t intertwine us together then we wouldn’t care about who we would date. I know that you’re in pain too.”
“And I know that he loves you as much as I love you.”
“You didn’t let me speak, you know.” Tsukishima rolled his eyes.
“But I know that you wouldn’t return it back, right?” Kageyama stopped a tear from falling. After all, he is not that emotional so something like this shouldn’t be cried at. But he wanted to when he saw Tsukishima shrugged.
“It can change too.” Tsukishima looked at him, then on the floor, and then back to him. He sighed and turn towards the exit, “It’s your choice, King.”
Kageyama didn’t know is he should cry or feel happy that he is left alone now but he now knows his decision.
He hoped that it’s the best one, though