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"Sawamura, pay attention." With a yelp Eijun startled awake. He had not planned to sleep during Kataoka‘s lesson, but now his coach was standing in front of his desk, the textbook in hand and staring at Eijun through his tinted glasses. He already felt the horror of the coach‘s wrath loom over him. What if he didn’t let him pitch today? Or this week? Would he order him to do school work instead? What if he failed the class?
"Sorry, Boss!" He could hear his classmates laugh silently at his way of addressing the coach. Kataoka regarded him with a stern look. It felt like he was looking right through his facade of being an attentive student. Eijun was trying, really! Then, the coach finally gave him a nod. "Don’t fall asleep again."
While Kataoka returned to the black board, Eijun rubbed both his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the exhaustion. If he was quite honest he felt a little low on energy today. The heavy rain of the last few days made running in the morning a slippery feast. Still, today he had awoken even earlier than usual. And because he would not waste a second, he was up and out of the door before his roommates even stirred. Not even Furuya had bothered to join him on his morning run, but Eijun would prevail! He had used his tire for a few final sprints to burn off the unused energy of frustration. No matter what he did, he would never throw as fast as the other pitcher nor look so cool on the mound - it frustrated him.
The unrelenting rain had chilled him to the bone, but when Miyuki-senpai had offered to catch for him in the morning, all his worries and exhaustion were forgotten and he had happily spent the next 20 minutes pitching to his favorite catcher, before Miyuki had kept the ball instead of throwing it back. The catcher had kept eying him suspiciously. Eijun was aware of how his wet shirt clung to his body, but he could hardly do anything to stop the rain. He had shaken his head to clear it. Better focus on pitching, if only Miyuki would throw back the ball.
"You seem exhausted," Miyuki had explained. "I know you like to overwork yourself, but we need you in top condition for the upcoming tournament."
And wasn’t that a compliment he would take gladly? Finally Miyuki was realizing how important Eijun was and it made his chest swell with pride. Maybe not all hope was lost. Still, it bugged him a little that even Miyuki could tell that he was a bit more tired than normal.
He tried to focus on the lesson, but his concentration was slipping again and again. It had been quite some time since he felt this tired and he hadn’t even done that much. Really. A loud bang startled both him and his teacher. Oh, he had dropped his textbook on his desk… so much for staying awake. Kataoka raised an eyebrow and shot him a quizzical look, then instructed him to see him after class. Oh no, now he would surely get in trouble. Eijun sighed unhappily and tried once more to pay attention only to fail miserably. He had to admit that he was feeling fatigued and a little worn out. Maybe Miyuki had been right and he had been stretching himself too thin.
The bell finally put an end to his struggles. With an exhausted groan he dropped his head on the desk and was just getting comfortable to sleep through the next lesson, when Kataoka called his name again. Oh shit, he was supposed to see him after class. Struggling against the leaden weight in his limbs, he made his way to the front of the classroom. Kataoka had his arms crossed and looked unhappy. Well, he never exactly looked happy, but this time Eijun felt like the anger was directed at him and he feared the worst.
Before his teacher could speak, he dropped his head in a low bow. "I‘m sorry for not paying attention!" He stayed like this for a second, feeling the blood pulsing in his ears. When the coach didn’t speak he finally straightened again and with growing trepidation looked up. He expected Kataoka to give him a stern lecture or demand extra homework, but instead he asked. "Sawamura, are you well?"
Eijun startled. "Never been better!" He shouted and stood up a bit straighter. Immediately he felt his shoulders drop again, the weight of his body too heavy right now. Kataoka said nothing but when he raised his eyes again the face of the coach showed clearly that he didn’t believe him. Why didn’t he? Eijun was the picture of health, albeit a little tired.
"Come here for a second."
It felt weird to step closer and suddenly there was a cool hand on his forehead. Eijun hadn’t even realized that he had a headache, which lessened slightly as he felt the nice cool touch against his burning skin.
"You’re running a fever. Go see the nurse."
Eijun sputtered, but didn’t know what to reply, so in the end he just hung his head. "Yes, sir."
He didn’t know that that was what his low energy was coming from. It had been years since he had been sick.
"Sawamura, I don’t want you to come to practice today. I will let Kuramochi-kun and Miyuki-kun know. Rest, we need you in good shape." Eijun preened at the compliment. Not only Miyuki, the coach as well! Maybe he was doing something right. He might have stood there, smiling to himself for a little too long, as Kataoka’s "Off you go" startled him. He nodded and where he would usually jog off, he decided to walk instead, feeling the eyes of his coach on his back.
He was the only one walking the empty corridors to the nurses office, the next lessons had just started. After hearing the explanation for his unusual lack of energy, Eijun felt like his exhaustion had increased tenfold. Why couldn’t his body just withstand something like a tiny virus? He was stronger than that!
The infirmary was on the ground floor where he had to pass the classrooms of his senpai to get there. Even though Kataoka was going to tell both Kuramochi and Miyuki, he didn’t exactly want them to find out now about his weakness and sudden lapse in energy. Kuramochi was going to make fun of him and Miyuki would tell him something along the lines of ‚that’s what you get from overworking‘. Life sucked. Better avoid them now and get chewed out once he was feeling better.
As fast as his heavy legs would carry him, he hurried down the corridor, his gaze focused on his feet, hoping that if he didn’t look in the direction of his senpai they wouldn’t look in his. It was stupid. Caught in his own thoughts he didn’t even notice the person coming towards him until they collided.
"Sawamura?" Oh no, thinking of the devil.
"Miyuki," he acknowledged his captain. He didn’t even have the energy to use his full name. Couldn’t he just go away? He had no energy for the emotional burden talking to his admired senpai who wouldn’t stop teasing him.
"Where are you going?"
Before Eijun could think of a good answer, Miyuki eyed him suspiciously and then repeated the actions of his coach. The slightly calloused hand on his forehead felt good, but he hadn’t planned on Miyuki finding out so soon. Still, just the somewhat caring act made his heart skip a beat.
The catcher clicked his tongue. "You’re burning up. Are you on the way to the infirmary?"
Eijun nodded, his cheeks heating up with both the fever and embarrassment. Miyuki seemed annoyed. But there was also a foreign expression on his face, was that concern? His brows were knitted together and there was a tight line around his mouth.
"I’ll accompany you."
That finally got a reaction out of Eijun, who sputtered. "It’s fine! Don’t you have classes to attend?"
"They can wait," Miyuki decided. What was he even doing out of class? Maybe he had to run an errand and Eijun was keeping him from doing so. He mustn’t hinder the education of his senior.
"No, really I‘m fine." Eijun turned to dodge his senpai and find a way to the infirmary on his own when his traitorous legs faltered. He squeezed his eyes shut and prepared for impact, but a strong arm caught him around his waist before his knees hit the ground and then pulled him up again. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Miyuki, now closer, holding him up. The catcher huffed and looked a little amused (and still worried, a strange sight). "Well, that proves that."
Eijun felt his face heat up like a furnace. Why did that damn tanuki have to leave his classroom just in time to find him? After he had already been found out by the coach, it had only been a question of time, but he hadn’t been ready just yet. Nor did he have the energy to deal with it in his usual enthusiastic, optimistic way. He needed Miyuki to think of him as a reliable player and important asset to the team, not a liability.
Also, his lingering crush on his senpai made every interaction outside of baseball a little more emotionally taxing.
"Can you walk?" Miyuki carefully let go of his waist, but when Eijun’s knees threatened to buckle again (seriously? They had been doing their job just fine until now), he readjusted his hold and helped Eijun sling an arm around his shoulders. It was slightly uncomfortable with their difference in height, but at least Miyuki seemed to have decided against carrying him and wouldn’t that have been worse? Still, the close proximity to his catcher put some extra strain on his already exhausted body. He closed his eyes, tried to take a measured breath and instead started coughing. Had his throat always felt this raw? Miyuki gave him another worry-tinged look. He then went on to shoot a number of questions at Eijun. Had he already felt bad in the morning? Did he experience any other symptoms? Why hadn’t he said anything? Eijun just hummed at the questions. He didn’t quite trust himself to answer to the satisfaction of his catcher.
Right now their conversation was entirely onesided without Eijun really taking part. He just listened to Miyuki prattle on, he had even stopped humming in reply. „
"You already looked bad in the morning, but now you look positively dead." Miyuki observed.
Eijun let out a humourless laugh. "I‘m fine." He finally spoke, the words scratchy in his burning airways.
Miyuki just raised his eyebrows and started stirring him towards the infirmary. He had one arm around Eijun’s waist, stabilising him. He was bearing the majority of Eijun‘s weight and he was starting to feel bad for burdening the catcher with his lack of self-preservation and health.
"You’re decidedly not fine." Miyuki declared and tightened his grip as Eijun stumbled a bit.
When Miyuki led him past his classroom, Eijun saw Kuramochi looking up. He quickly averted his gaze, focussing on his own slightly dragging feet. He didn’t need to look at Mochi-senpai’s face to feel his disapproval. There seemed to be some kind of silent conversation between his two senpai, Miyuki slowing down ever so slightly, but for now Eijun didn’t have the energy to care. How did it get this bad this quickly? His head had started pulsing with a steadily increasing headache and his throat felt raw. His legs were little more than jelly and he had to admit that Miyuki‘s increasingly strong hold around his waist was the only thing still keeping him upright.
Finally, they reached the infirmary. Before he could even talk to the nurse, Miyuki had deposited him on one of the beds and had started loosening Eijun’s tie. He then helped him out of his blazer and guided him down until Eijun came to rest on his side. The world was turning in slow circles.
"Wow, Sawamura, you don’t do anything halfway, do you?"
He didn’t have an answer. Miyuki was right in his disapproval. Eijun really was burdening him with all he had. After getting somewhat comfortable on the bed he closed his eyes, blinking back unshed tears. From afar he could hear a hushed conversation between his senpai and the school nurse.
"Sawamura-kun?" He blinked open his eyes once more. The world was drifting in and out of focus, but he managed to finally keep some eye contact with the nurse bent over his bed. Miyuki was right behind her, also peering down at the sick pitcher.
"Kataoka-sensei let me know that you were feeling unwell and that he sent you here. What seems to be the problem?"
"He’s running a fever," Miyuki helpfully supplied, when Eijun didn’t have the energy to reply. The nurse nodded and handed a thermometer to his senpai. "Can you just take his temperature? I‘ll be right back." She seemed entirely unfazed by the sick student not replying. She probably encountered idiots like him all the time.
Eijun only watched when Miyuki started unbuttoning his shirt. Seconds later the thermometer was shoved under his armpit. With gentle pressure on Eijun’s upper arm Miyuki kept it in place until an angry beeping sound let both of them know that it had finished taking his temperature. Eijun shifted slightly to allow his senpai access. Miyuki took the thermometer and stared at it, before letting out a low whistle.
"Wow, I‘m impressed you’re still conscious."
He presented him with the screen that read ,39.4°C‘. Eijun balked. He hadn’t expected his fever to be that high. He had expected something borderline feverish where one day of rest would be enough to cure him completely. Putting numbers to his suffering only made it worse.
He coughed weakly as he tried to clear his aching throat. "I‘m sorry." He mumbled and closed his eyes again in an attempt to blend out everything around him.
A cool hand carding through his hair pulled him back from the brink of unconsciousness and he blinked sleepily. Miyuki was carefully massaging his scalp, his worried eyes (by now Eijun had come to the conclusion that his senpai was in fact worried about him. It tugged at his heartstrings) trained on him. Eijun hadn’t known what heaven felt like, but this must be close to it. If he wouldn’t be feeling this bad. The fingers in his still slightly damp hair did wonders for his headache.
He hummed in content and then coughed again.
"Sawamura-kun? I got you some fever reducers and water. Do you think you can sit up for me?" The nurse.
Miyuki, who had been sitting perched on his bedside, moved over to make room, but as Eijun struggled to push himself up, hurried back to his side to help him.
Who had known that their captain could be that attentive? It almost felt loving.
After swallowing the pills and chasing them down with some water, Eijun slid back down. He had apparently depleted all his energy by just existing. The nurse handed Miyuki a cooling patch which he applied to Eijun’s forehead (heaven, but not as good as the massage).
"You can rest here until lunch break, Miyuki-kun here has promised to help you back to your dorm room later." The nurse explained. That sounded like a good idea. If Eijun was honest, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to make his way back on his own. Still, anyone would do and Miyuki was already missing enough class and as a captain just had so much on his plate that it made him feel bad.
"I can walk back by myself." He offered, but both Miyuki and the nurse just shook their heads. They exchanged a glance.
"Come on, let me indulge you." Miyuki was smiling at him. "When else do I get the chance to see you this quiet or pliant?"
That tanuki… Eijun couldn‘t even bring himself to think evil thoughts when the hand in his hair was back, nails scratching slightly against his scalp. He might have moaned, though he would never admit it. But Miyuki must have heard because he had that evil grin on his face again. Eijun closed his eyes and finally, finally let go.
When he woke two hours later he felt like he had been run over by a bus, two or three times. His nose was congested and when he tried out his voice, he barely managed to make a sound. It had been years since a cold had gotten to him this badly. He briefly wondered what had woken him, then heard the sound of footsteps.
"Sawamura?" Miyuki pushed the curtains drawn around his bed aside and halted when he saw Eijun.
"Wow. I really think you should avoid looking in a mirror, you look dead." So much for loving concern.
Eijun coughed weakly and then struggled upright, immediately supported by his senpai who helped him sit up. "Thank you." His voice was barely above a whisper and the annoyed edge he was trying to put into his words got lost somewhere in his aching throat. He sounded pathetic.
Miyuki regarded him for a second. Then, more to himself, he stated, "yeah no, that won’t work. No way in hell will you be able to walk that far."
He stepped closer and crouched down, once again running a hand over the hair in Eijun‘s nape, toying with the strands between his fingers. It felt weirdly intimate.
With a sigh Miyuki picked up the new cooling patch placed on the bedside table and exchanged it for the lukewarm one on Eijun’s forehead. He then handed him a mask.
"Put that on, we can’t have you infecting the entire team."
Coming to think of it, Miyuki was also wearing a mask. Infecting everyone else would be so bad, Eijun was enough of a burden already. He felt tears pool in his eyes. "I‘m sorry!" He cried, his voice breaking. He then started coughing once again. He hadn’t even thought about the danger he had put the catcher in. What if Miyuki got sick? The team needed him so much more than they needed Eijun!
"Here, here." Miyuki patted his shoulder awkwardly. "It’s not your fault. Everyone gets sick sometimes."
He turned around and faced his back towards Eijun. "Can you climb on or should I rather carry you like a princess?"
Eijun scrambled forward and launched himself onto Miyuki‘s back. The catcher's back muscles against his chest felt really nice and firm. He hid his glowing face in the crook of Miyuki‘s neck, the stray hairs in the catcher's nape tickling his forehead.
Someone draped a jacket over Eijun‘s back (probably the nurse) and then they were on their way. Since it was lunchtime not all students were in their classrooms and it felt like he was the attraction of today’s circus as Miyuki carried him past some gawking upperclassmen. Eijun tried to make himself as small as possible.
Kuramochi met them at the stairs. He took one look at Eijun and laughed a humourless laugh. "Wow, Miyuki wasn’t exaggerating. You look like death warmed over."
Eijun wondered if getting sick always gave everyone the permission to touch him as Kuramochi ran a hand over the side of his neck, seemingly gauging his temperature.
"I’ll be staying with Miyuki until you’re healthy again, but someone will check on you regularly." He explained, while he followed them outside. Eijun wanted to tell him that they didn’t need a nurse or a chaperone but Kuramochi seemed to have decided to stick with them, so in the end he just closed his eyes and rested his head against Miyuki‘s shoulder. It was a surprisingly comfortable pillow.
From far away he could hear the hushed conversation between his two senpai.
"He‘s really burning up." Miyuki mentioned. "He’s like a furnace."
Kuramochi huffed. "The kid doesn’t do anything halfway."
Miyuki laughed, his chest rumbling against Eijun’s torso. "I said the same thing earlier!" The two of them had a quiet laugh, then Kuramochi continued. "It was only a matter of time until he burned through all his reserves."
Miyuki didn’t reply, so he was probably nodding. They seemed entirely unaware of Eijun listening in on their conversation, but then again he had his eyes closed and his thoughts kept drifting off.
"Should I take over?" Kuramochi offered when Miyuki adjusted his grip on Eijun’s thighs. The fingers digging into his muscles should have been more painful than they were. Eijun decided that he liked being this close to Miyuki.
"Nah, it’s fine. He’s not that heavy."
"Hey, you still with us?" Miyuki asked and Eijun froze. When had this happened? Why was he already in his dorm room? Had he fallen asleep on the way?
He let out a low whine of discomfort. His skin was burning, his head throbbing, his throat aching and he couldn’t breathe through his nose. This must be what hell felt like.
Once again a hand in his hair. Did Miyuki have some kind of hair fetish? Not that Eijun would ever complain. It helped with his headache and just while he was sick he would indulge himself and believe that maybe Miyuki liked him back. Ah, he really liked the catcher. If only…
"Hm, did you say something?" Miyuki had his head cocked to one side, a curious expression on his face. Had Eijun just voiced his thoughts out loud?
"No…" He denied in a hoarse whisper. He couldn’t deal with his unresolved feelings when he was already feeling this raw and unguarded.
"And here I thought I heard you say that you like me." Miyuki wouldn’t let go. He had that teasing tanuki grin on his face and Eijun feared where this was going.
"You must have misheard, who would even like you?" He grumbled and turned his head to press his face into the pillow. What else could he do to convince Miyuki that he must have misheard? He was not ready for this conversation.
"Was that a confession, Sawamura-kun?" He really didn’t know when to stop. Eijun could already see it in front of his inner eye how Miyuki told Kuramochi and then the rest of the team and then they would all laugh at him. Some would be disgusted with his preferences and some would tease him and no one would ever defend behind him again. A terrifying thought. What if Miyuki was among them? What if he now hated Eijun?
With the last energy he could muster, Eijun pushed himself upright. "And what if it was. What if I liked you?" He shouted and immediately started coughing harshly. There was only one way through this, he was better off knowing what Miyuki thought, than getting his hopes up again.
Even though Miyuki had been teasing him just earlier, he was by his side immediately, holding him upright and started rubbing circles on his back while Eijun tried to catch his breath.
He wasn’t sure if he had misheard, but Miyuki‘s breath ghosted over his right ear. "Then I‘d accept your confession."
Now it was Eijun’s turn to gawk at his senpai, until it clicked. Was Miyuki really reciprocating his feelings? No! He was probably teasing him!
"Don’t make fun of me! I’m sorry, I will not bother you with my feelings. You can go! I’m fine."
His speech, hurried and loud, had taken everything out of him and his arms gave out so that he faceplanted onto his bed. He just barely managed to turn his head so that the rising tears wouldn’t soak his pillow. He expected the catcher to get up, to feel the warmth leave his side, for Miyuki to abandon him.
But…there was no movement.
Miyuki didn’t leave. Instead he ran a cold hand over Eijun’s heated cheek. It felt so loving that he allowed him to briefly dream of Miyuki meaning what he said.
"I‘m not joking either," the catcher carefully turned Eijun over so that they faced each other again. Eijun could spot a faint blush on Miyuki’s cheeks. It was kind of cute.
"I like you Sawamura, will you go out with me?"
Eijun froze. It felt like a fever dream. Maybe it was a fever dream.
"Now?"
"No, idiot. When you’re healthy." Miyuki flicked his forehead and smiled softly.
Oh.
Eijun smiled under tears. "I‘d like that."