Chapter Text
She never wanted to tell her parents about her crush. In fact, it was better if they never even knew about it, but somehow her mum sensed that something was up with her and cornered her one morning.
“Hey, everything alright, Sarai?” Rayla asked. No, everything wasn’t ok, Mum. But how can I tell you that? But she kept those thoughts to herself, merely trying to give her mother a fake smile.
“Yeah, everything’s fine, Mum. Just a little bit stressed from schoolwork,” she said, immediately regretting her words. That was a great excuse, just straight up lying to your mother when you know that she’ll know that you’re lying.
“Sarai Elara,” Rayla said, Sarai stopping in her tracks as soon as she heard her mother say her middle name. Well then fuck, she used the middle name. I’m in deep shit now. “Something’s up, and if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, then I’m not going to be able to sleep at night wondering if you’re off doing moon’s only knows what.”
Sarai sighed, her eyes glancing around to see if anyone…anyone was around. There were a few guards around, but she couldn’t have any of them hear her. “Can we talk somewhere, just the two of us?” She asked meekly, her mother’s face softening as it seemed like she understood, before she nodded. The two of them made their way out towards the bridge near the Banther lodge, one where she spent her childhood. Once they were out of sight from everyone else, she finally talked. “Can you not tell Dad anything about what I’m gonna tell you?” Sarai asked quietly, as she saw her mother raise an eyebrow. “It’s nothing bad, I swear. It’s just that… I know what he’s like, and I would really like it if he just doesn’t know so that I don’t have to deal with him,” she continued, her mother’s face softened as she seemed to understand.
“Ok, I won’t tell him,” Rayla acknowledged, making her way over to sit next to her daughter.
“I think I’m developing feelings for Cassandra,” she finally said, studying her mother’s face for a hint of what she was thinking of. “I mean, maybe I don’t know. I just get so flustered around her, and I trip over my words, and I look like an idiot sometimes,”
And yet Rayla remained calm, not saying a word until she felt like she could.
“Well, here I was earlier being worried that my daughter was sneaking out or doing dark magic, and this is what you’re hiding from your father and me?” Rayla said, a half laugh echoing from her words.
“Mum, I'm serious!” Sarai insisted, her lips already forming into a frown. “See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you or dad, cause you’d just laugh at me.”
“Sarai, I'm not laughing at you. It was just unexpected, that’s all. I had no idea what was going on, and that would obviously worry me. I mean, you usually come to me or your father whenever something’s troubling you, so yes, it was understandable for me to think that you were doing something that we disapproved of,” she replied. Sarai softened as she realized her mum made a good point. “Why didn’t you tell either of us in the first place?”
Sarai didn’t respond at first, drawing her knees into her chest and putting her head down as she tried to gather her thoughts. Rayla sat silently, waiting for her answer.
“Because I thought it was nothing at first, my brain was messing with me. And then when those feelings didn’t go away, I wanted to say something. But what if I tell her how I feel and she doesn’t feel the same way? Or what if she laughs at me? Or if she’s not attracted to girls? Or if I’m not her type?” She rambled on before Rayla pulled her daughter in close to her, wrapping her arms around her.
“Slow down, moonbeam, breathe,” she said, inhaling deeply for her daughter to follow, Sarai doing so. Once she seemed calmer, Rayla continued. “You can’t know any of that for certain unless you tell her how you feel,”
“But what if-,” Sarai began to say before her mother cut her off.
“No but what ifs. You’re going to have to tell her sooner or later,” Rayla replied. “You need to be honest with her. Lying about your feelings isn’t going to help your friendship at all, it’s just going to make it worse,” she said, stroking her daughter’s head. They sat silently for a moment, Sarai’s breathing evening out as she felt herself relaxing into her mother’s touch like she had done years ago when she was a kid.
“Was it like this when you and Dad were younger?” Sarai asked, throwing Rayla off for a moment before she replied.
“A little bit. Honestly, I think your father was mostly nervous about admitting his feelings for me,” Rayla chuckled, her mind recollecting the countless times in their journey she had noticed him blush, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.
“So, what, you just didn’t like Dad?” Sarai asked, a small giggle escaping her.
“No, of course not. It’s just that for a while I hadn’t really realized that I loved your father, until well, when he kissed me first,” Rayla chuckled, recounting the memory. “But maybe don’t exactly do what he did when you go and tell her, alright?” Rayla said, planting a small kiss on her daughter’s forehead afterwards. “Go and tell her,” Rayla added, Sarai getting up out of her mother’s embrace, and Rayla immediately followed her in standing up.
“Thanks, Mum, it helped… a lot. Love you,” Sarai said, before she extended her arms out to hug her mother. Rayla returned the hug in kind, a smile appearing on her face that her daughter felt comfortable enough that she could tell her about it. That she’d done what she promised her little girl all those years ago when she was a small baby cradled in her arms, born at the worst possible time but the best choice she had ever made.